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February 23, 2005

WHEN LAZY STORE CLERKS REFUSE TO HELP YOU

Take action.

(Thanks to Justin Barber)

Comments

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I sure am glad I'm not first!

Shouldn't it have been a Big Johnson pickled sausage? And wouldn't having it pickled hurt?

Guess what, Asdf?

And we all know the moral to this story:

Never piss off a woman when she's get your sausage in her hand.

Punky - alternatively...always retreat from a woman possessing a sausage (WABAGNFARB?)

That's the trouble with the world today ... too many people want instant gratification ... so she couldn't get it with the sausage, so she just threw it away ... (better than cutting it off, tho ...)

In all my born days, I never sausage a lame response to anger.

From now on, this is the line I'm using when I don't feel like I'm getting proper service:

Don't make me come back there with my big mama pickled sausage, now. Ya hear?

"Big Mama Pickled Sausage"
It seems as if BigMama wasn't really a Mama after all.

A sausage? What about a bic lighter? Why not a pack of gum? Couldn't she have looked around for a more assault-ish type weapon? A gummie bear perhaps? Most disturbingly, what was a sausage doing laying on the counter anyway? Have they no sense of proper food handling?

Wow, talk about your coincidences; I was just reading the latest issue of Big Mamas With Sausages when this post appeared.

I think it should be Big Pickled Kielbasa... anyone else?

I think it should be Big Pickled Kielbasa... anyone else?

I feel VERY strongly about that, so much so I felt the need to post twice.

(yes, thats it)

Big Mama Pickled Sausage???

That's too good to be real. But I agree that Big Daddy would be more appropriate. Or maybe Big Dave's Pickled Sausage.

Punky - not only is that true, but it's doubly true if the other hand wields a knife!

The cat owning family shoulda thrown a "big mama pickled sausage" at the animal control people

Punky, I'm with you - I've heard about playing "Hide the Big Mama sausage", but throw the Big Moma sausage?!?

*shudder*

Does this mean I can't carry a concealed sausage in an aiport anymore?

How 'bout a bratwurst?

Wurm42 -

Nope. Just the average everyday weenie ...

*at the convenience store safety awareness workshop*

"And so, you need to become keenly aware of your surroundings, and always be thinking about a possible attack. For example, you there, Julie: Where do you store your Big Mama Pickled Sausages?"

"You have to understand...it was just that one time, and I was a between boyfriends, and I didn't know the store had a security camera, and I was going to purchase it, but then a customer bought it..."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Are they sure it was a Big Momma Sausage? After further investigation it could have been a severed penis, or even a finger.

Christobol: Add another one to the number of keyboards you've soaked. LOL!

Christobol: Add another one to the number of keyboards you've soaked. LOL! Julietine May kill you, but funny.

Hide the Sausage
By Ivor Biggun

Well, there’s a brand new dance
everybody’s trying to do
It’s better than the Pogo
the Shimmy or the Boogaloo
You can do it by yourself
but it’s much more fun with two
so come on everybody
let’s go nuts and screw
And this is just what you do

You’ve got to
Hide the sausage
come on and hide the sausage
it’s time to hide the sausage tonight
You’ve got to sink the winkle
it’s really very simple
to straighten out your wrinkle tonight

Come on, let’s play mums and dads
the moon is shining bright
come on everybody and hide the sausage tonight
get it right out of sight

It’s a dance you can do on the sofa
It’s a dance you can do in the park
You can do it round the back of Sainsbury’s
if you’re quick and you do it when it’s dark
You can do it backwards, frontwards and sideways
provided that you’re over sixteen
You even do it standing up, I’ve seen it in a magazine
but you’ve got to be keen

When you
Hide the sausage
come on and hide the sausage
it’s time to hide the sausage tonight
You’ve got to sink the winkle
it’s really very simple
to straighten out your wrinkle tonight

Well a little chippolata
that points down to your toes
is as good as a big Frankfurter
that reaches up to your nose
and if it’s a Wiener Schnitzel [Mein Gott!]
or a hot dog stuffed in a bun
or a big black pudding
come and do it everyone
you can join in the fun

Don’t be a wanker, just
Hide the sausage
come on and hide the sausage
it’s time to hide the sausage tonight
You’ve got to sink the winkle
it’s really very simple
to straighten out your wrinkle tonight

Everybody
Hide the sausage, come on and hide the sausage
Hide the sausage, come on and hide the sausage

Let’s all conceal the saveloy!
Let’s go barmy with the salami!
Let’s put the toad in the hole!
Would you like to play a tune on my pork clarinet?
Get it right out of sight!

C-Bol,

(Don't make me come back there with my big mama pickled sausage, now. Ya hear?)

SNORK!

Christobol!! HA HA HA!!

*wipes tears from eyes*

too kind, y'all.

Polly! Great to see you 'round again lately.

A woman attacked a convenience store clerk with a sausage Thursday morning after she was unable to use the store's outdoor vacuum cleaner for her car.

So does that make her a weiner wacker.
*smirks*

Severed penis? You must be talking about Little Dave's Pickled Sausage. And would that make this a misdemeanorous common law assault?

No, assault involves a salt shaker. This was assausage.

They pickle sausages????

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