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February 21, 2005

TRAVEL ADVISORY

Blogging may be light today, as this blog will be on the road -- but not, alas, on a frog safari.

Comments

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Shouldn't Lindsey Wagner have a role, too? As a funky artist in Maine, a former hippie who gave up a daughter for adoption because her parents and her boyfriend's parents lied to them both about each other's wishes and they really still love each other 30 years later although they went on with their lives...and oh wait I think that may have actually been a TV movie that was made about ten years ago.

... hum, sounds familiar sly.

... hum, sounds like MY LIFE!! sly.

Except it was a son, not a daughter...

*zips in*

I think I'd have to watch Burt Reynolds playing a Jewish shop owner. Great casting! Would it have been a jewelry store? :) And would he be wearing his black rug or the gray one?

Want to write a script, kibby? :)

Kibby, what sort of GNOME are you talking about?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVEN!!!

Setting:
Lazy Maine coastal lobstering town where Main Street boarders the working harbor and shops line the other sidewalk. Behind the shops the town extends another block or two of wood framed white, weather beaten houses before running up against a stoney ridge covered with wind deformed hardwood trees.

Main Street has one hanging stop light blinking yellow caution at the interception which leads down to the town's ice plant sitting on the harbor's edge. This ice plant supplies the lobstering fleet it's much needed daily ice - and a few buckes for "recreational" purposes. Across from the ice plant is the "hole-in-the-wall" fishermen's bar sporting a spastic neon Miller sign in the smoked front window. Either side of the bar are various repair shops that support the lobster fleet from welding to diesel motor repair to supplies.

This street bends slightly southward forming a breakwater for the harbor and comes to rest against a smallish lighthouse marking the harbor's entrance. Like the houses, shops, ice plant and bar, the lighthouse has seen better days as shown by the lee side being noticably painted white whereas the windward side is speckled with more cement showing than paint.

We "home in" on a small sign swinging in the wind above a door next to our fishermen's bar. The door is but the entrance to a flight of stairs going to the second floor of the bar. The faded name on the sign indicates the KibEl Detective Agency. A sun bleached paper wedged behind the door's glass pain indicates something about MOATies and discounts.

Eleanor ....

We see a weathered looking (but hot) lobster fisherman walking up the street. As he starts to pass the door with the faded sign to go into the bar, he sees something out of the corner of his eye. He stops and squints at the KibEl Detective Agency sign. The only reason he's sober enough to nitice the sign is because it's 7a.m. and he hasn't had his first drink of the day yet. He ponders. Should he go straight to the bar for his morning wake up call or czech out the agency, which possibly could help him with an issue that has plagued him for twenty years.
He decides to go into the Agency, and when he does he finds a very handsome man sitting at the front desk. He asks, "Are you Kib, or El?"
The man replies, "I'm Kib, how can I help you?"
The man sits down in front of the desk, takes a deep breath and starts talking.
"Here's my problem. Can you help me find...

kibby....

*after reading that 4 times he still can't believe he wrote it*

It was great. You should go to the "Norway" thread on the message board.

Please continue. :)

my sexual identity?"

Kib said "Well, that's really El's department. If she can't help you find it, then we're pretty sure we know where it is."

At that moment, the rear (HA!) door of KibEl opened, and a woman of uncommon beauty and grace swanned in. Dark shoulder-length curls surrounded a face that stopped traffic (in a good way!) and her slim, athletic body (and huge ramparts) were shown off to great advantage by her designer outfit.

"El," said Kib, "This man is looking for his sexual identity" "Well, sugar,"said El, with a faint southern drawl, "You just come with me and we'll see what we can find. I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name." The weathered (but still hot) fisherman said "Oh, I'm sorry. My name is....

George

... my family? I know I should have one. Everyone does. But, ya see, I seem to have misplaced them somewhere."

Kib takes a slow, deep breath because he's realized this is going to be a long day. Especially when his partner, El, strong armed him into opening the office at 7 a.m. What was she thinking!? Something about "making the rent" ... whatever THAT meant!

He speaks while he saunters over to the coat rack. "So, missing family you say? Hum. Well," as he pulls a flask from his inside coat pocket, "we can see what we can do."

Returning to the desk he continues, "So, where do you think you misplaced them?"

... shall we get others involved? sly ....

*sees we're "splintering" already*

*gives point for the way wolfie jumped right in there without fear*

*admires Kibbys point and blushes*

So which way are we going, then? I'll follow on with a couple of paragraphs either way... following Wolfie and I is definitely going to involve George Clooney, but it is Kibby's shop and he wants to lose an entire family, so I'm cool with that, too.

Eleanor's call! She's the one that gets the Clooney or not - at this stage anyhow ... I can lose a family at any time!

*hides kibbys point under her grass skirt for later use*

Did I ever mention that CG and I have a "song"? Well, we do, and this is it.

It just cracks us up whenever we hear it, etc. ;)

(the details are in the "etc")

*giggles*

Paradise by the Dashboard Lights?

Oh, and Susan, you did a masterful job on the Doctor Beaver ad - it didn't even sound like you were struggling!

Kaf...it didn't take me too many tries to get it.

I think I have to talk to the doctor though, for the rest of the ads.

At least, the info I have is marked to be read by the doctor.

I don't have a phone number though, their new office isn't open yet, and my boss is out of town for the day.

And I'm out for now, these people have brought in foooooood...and I'm hungry.

(I was also broke, thus my not getting any. I'll eat at home.)

(And as a totally different note, the playlists. I've been really really slack, not putting them here. Would anyone like them? Or were they boring? I can't decide...)

Susan, I've been meaning to mention the playlists. I miss them a lot. Sometimes *someone* requests a song for *another* and even if the other isn't listening, they'll see it on the playlist, IYCMD. :)

kibby, I'm waiting for sly to pick up your thread .....

Susan, WCRE just went out. Are you gone too?

//Booming voice from the Heavens\\

Eleanor hasth spoken!

*waitsth for slyth tooth*

*unstucks the th's*

Why is it everyone in The Bible seems to have spoken with a lisp?

... have we lost something in our language skills?

I think it was something in the water, Kibby.

*blurks*

Was it warm?

Only after they peed in it Fishy.

*picks up Kibby's thread, pulls it, and watches as his sweater unravels*

oops.

Sly, I'm pretty sure that Lindsay Wagner movie you mentioned was rerun last month or so as I seem to remember Jackie watching it. But it may have been Patty Duke (Jackie says there was one where she was raped and had a child, which she gave up for adpotion. She later married and had more children - didn't tell her husband about the rape, of course - and when her younger daughter needed a bone marrow transplant... you can figure the rest). Or Donna Mills.

my sexual identity?"

Kib said "Well, that's really El's department. If she can't help you find it, then we're pretty sure we know where it is."

Kaf, I was pretty sure the next line was going to be:

"Brokeback Mountain."


Next line of course was "NTTAWWT".

I actually found a story in the NY Times worthy of sending to Dave, and Judi posted it.

No, this was Lindsey Wagner and she and the father met again and I think they ended up getting married.

I think.

See, there are so many along the same lines that it's hard to remember if it's Patty Duke, Lindsey Wagner, Donna Mills, Joan Van Ark, Heather Locklear, or Morgan Fairchild.

sly, I asked Jackie and she said "and their daughter brings them back together?" so I guess you were right.

She said there was another like sounds like it was ripped off by Nora Roberts and Brothers & Sisters:

Melissa Gilbert (maybe she was a lawyer)'s father dies and there was something in the will indicating an illegitimate daughter. When she looks her up it is...surprise!...Lindsay Wagner, living on a ranch. She (Lindsay) is hostile but eventually they bond.

I found Jackie's movie on IMDB, called "Thicker Than Water". She was close, only Dad was married to Lindsay's mom.

After discovering her late father once married a rodeo queen, an attorney travels into horse country and finds more family.

There was one where Lindsay was a socialite who wakes from a coma. David Dukes was the murderous husband.

El, when you wrote that I was gone. I am back, and so should WCRE be as well.

Someone unplugged the wrong internet cable.

Someone not being me.

We have wireless and plugged in internet, but we are supposed to be getting another account out here so we can allll use the internet with fewer problems.

Of course, I seem to recall hearing we'd be getting a new transmitter in January...and a new control board in the main studio....

Oh well.

The playlist for today...

Monday 3-5-07 All Request Lunch Hour
News
“American Woman” Guess Who
------
“Won’t Get Fooled Again” The Who
“Come Dancing” Kinks
------
“Cool Night” Paul Davis
“The Air That I Breathe” The Hollies
------
“She Blinded Me With Science” Thomas Dolby
“Your Wildest Dreams” Moody Blues
------
“Better Love Next Time” Dr. Hook
“In A Little While” Uncle Kracker
------
“Paradise By The Dashboard Lights” Meatloaf
“Go All The Way” Raspberries

No sappy movies for me tonight, school board meeting.

I think I need a laptop with wireless internet.

*looks at agenda*

Few action items, a huge number of items in the general part. And it looks like a lot of presentations and updates. I wonder how many power point presentations will be included.


Im me
Fish peed
Goddamn
Warm and
Tuna can
Piano can't
Beer me
Show beav
If you want SLY to destroy your sweater
Have her hold this thread as you walk away
Watch Kibby unravel he'll soon be naked
Lying on the Moat floor, (lyin on the floor) he's come undone ......

{b E lC h}

Jeff and Blogchick - April 2nd. Will send more details by email at a later time.

Sly- we will fly over St. Louis, but not drive through on this trip sorry.

Insomniac - This trip Weasel gets to meet my neurotic grandmother in NJ. I am saving the meeting of the WV clan for another time. I don't think Weasel could survive both in one week. I'm not sure I could at this point. It has been a long time since somebody threw me in a crick (creek). This is the tradition for new brides on my father's side of the family. (the WV side) We will have to try to plan something for the fall when all the leaves are changing color.

*goes back to reading badly written science essays*

Susan, WCRE is back and so am I. My daughter was here for a while, helping me with my new camera. :)

Heh, Meatloaf is coming to town.
I'm tempted.

Meatloaf, mashed taters, gravy.... *drools*

What's it gonna be, boy? ;)

Announcement

My ladybug is back. I haven't seen her for weeks and I thought....well, ya know. But now she's just happily crawling across the window enjoying the sun - yay!

/complaint

I'm dizzy, I'm nauseous, and I still have to write a paper! Aargh!

/end complaint

Mad, I'll be looking for your email.

I've enjoyed the Ovary Channel offerings. Although I do hate sappy movies.

BTW, it's gone from 'only slightly chilly' to 'frikin freezing' here. Really windy. Snow flurries all day. If it's going to flurry it might as well just SNOW already. And everybody thinks they're getting sick. Wouldn't be surprising. On a campus like this, bugs go around.

Yay! for the ladybug.

Let me sleep on it, I'll give you my answer in the morning...

We're excited. Jackie just checked hotels in New Orleans on the off chance (we were waiting until we got home to see if the rates had dropped yet), and we were able to get our hotel at a much more reasonable price for Jazzfest.

As mentioned, we'll be going to the first weekend this year, and what with flight prices and hotels it worked out that we'll be there from Wednesday to Tuesday. This is around the last weekend of April.

Can't wait.

"gee, Wally (short for Walter) you don't have to be so hard on the Beav"....

That would be ladybugs, Blogchik. A second one is here now too.

It's so good to have my pets back home. :)

Jeff, the Ovary Channel/Lindsay Wagner movie I was thinking of was Their Second Chance. And, surprise surprise, it's based on a "true story".

Yay for El's ladybugs!

I have survived, but only barely, a school bored meeting. Ugh ugh ugh.

But I did have a good supper before hand.

I made pork (*giggle* I said pork) chops in the slow cooker.

Recipe...

Put four nice sized boneless pork chops in the cooker.

Cover with 16 oz of saurkraut.

Cook on high for four hours or so.

Serve...I had mashed potatoes with them.

They (the chops) were falling apart tender.

I am now going to try to get all my news gathered and recorded in the next 20 minutes or so.

The papers are due to be delivered around 11, so apparently it may be noisy in here.

And I do not plan to throw papers.

*posts*

I'm here...

NEO!!! Good to see you back! How's the insane ex, or shouldn't I ask?

Anyone else around?

Here...but going to bed soon.

here momentarily...late last night they showed here the episode of 'star trek' with khan in it ('space seed') they made reference to the eugenics wars of the mid-1990s, i must've slept through 'em...

Yay! It's too damn hot to do much of anything. Fortunately House is on TV, so I can swelter while I watch Hugh Laurie do his thing

*wishes he'd slept through the '90s*

The 90s were kind of a mixed bag for me, but I'm not sorry I didn't sleep through them.

2 out of 7 pages on my paper so far. (I could go up to 8...or not.) It's like nailing jello to the wall.

*loves Blogchik some inspiration*

I could quite happily have slept through ... say, 91-97 the other 3 years weren't so bad.

... our story continues.

The fisherman, eyeing the flask, mutters under his breath "something, something, sly didn't ..."

Kibby, catching only a hint of the reply, suddendly notices the intent focus of the fisherman. "Whoa! Where's my manners? Suppose we ought get a few things sorted out before jumping into the business at hand, shouldn't we?"

Puzzled, the fisherman looks back at kibby and stammers, "Well, if you mean money? I've got a bit put aside for"

"No, no, money? We'll get to that in a bit. What I meant was we don't even know each other AND I could sure use a cup of coffee! You?" The fisherman nods. "And would you like it stiffened a little?" motioning to the flask. The fisherman nods again.

"So, you know me as the 'Kib' half of this wonderfull pair. Why don't you just call me kibby? Kib's to formal. And you would be?"

*places Slip(e) & Slide (tm-thingie) under Blogchik's nailed jello - just in case tension-releasing-activities are needed*

The Fisherman answered in his gruff voice, "I be George Klooney." Noticing Kibby's skeptical glance, he continued, "No, not that one. My name is spelled with a "K", more's the pity. And I've been meaning to ask you, why are you wearing a sweater that's half unraveled? We've got a woman in these parts who can knit you a sweater right proper. Her name's Rita." Reaching for the waistband of his trousers, he pulled up the waistband of his underwear. "She made me a right decent pair of thong underwear."

Completely unheinzed for the past, erm... 3 weeks at least, but I wanted to stop in and say hi, anyway.

HI, ANYWAY!!!

{{{MOAT}}}

Brrr. It is absolutely totally freezing this morning.

Oh, wait. That's New York. We're still in Florida.

*whew*

Unfortunately we do have to head back into it, but it should warm up by the weekend.

{{{Kathy}}}

How cold is it up there?

And how are the kids?

KDF!!!

... we continue.

"Well," kibby retorts, sliding behind his desk chair to 'hide' said questioned sweater, "George, I've been asked to sample a new sweater design to see if there's any market appeal. Yea, that's it... right silly isn't it? But Mom wouldn't have it any other way." The air being tense because of George not having a Mommy, yet.

"Err, another coffee? Krispy Kreme?"

At that point El, who had been listening from the back office, while pretending not to, charged in and said,
"Mr. Klooney with a "K", we do not give a fluck about your underwear. Further, if you are a perv, we are not for hire, capice? Now is there someone you want us to look for or not?"

kibby, noticing that El seemed to be a little short on patience this morning, decided to make coffee....

KDF! Hi! And neo too! Hello!

*smacks brain to try to wake up*

*brain cries like new born baby*

"Well, George, meet El, the Ramparts half of this fine Agency."

"El, coffee? Stiffener?"

kibby quietly steps behind El closing the back office door, but not before glancing in. In a glance he can see an assortment of dust covered furniture, discarded lobster pots, and a fresh Slip(e) & Slide nailed to the far wall. What he fails to see is a back entrance.

"Hum, how'd she get in there? Wonder how long she's been and he's interupted before he can finish the thought!

When partners talk at exactly the same time, the order of the universe is disrupted.

But I digress.

El gets a folder and a legal pad from the desk drawer, and says to Mr. Klooney with a "K", time to get down to business.
Our rate is $300 an hour and since you do not appear to be a MOATie, no discount.
Now answer the following questions, pronto.
Who's missing? When did you first notice? Where did you see them last? Have you ever seen this person at all? What is your relationship to this person?

And - we need a $2000 retainer, you said you had money for this.

Kibby is frozen in place and waits to see how Mr. Klooney with a "k" reacts to El, who *zips* into the back office to get more coffee.
While she's gone....

How cold is it up there?

Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | 09:30 AM on March 6, 2007

Jeff, today is a bad day to ask how cold it is up here... single digits today, with the wind chill at -20 with 40 MPH wind gusts! And according to Sam's school's morning weather forecast, it's -38 on Mt. Washington (in NH) with a wind chill of -86! (Yes, I said MINUS!)

I mean, at some point, maybe -- minus 40? 50? Why even bother to make the number lower? MINUS 86 FRAKKIN' DEGREES?? Don't we think that something more descriptive like "so freaking cold that your tongue will freeze if you are stupid enough to be outside, let alone open your mouth" covers it?

Just one person's opinion.

Anyone for hot chocolate?

While George fills in El's form, (hee, hee, he said "form" & "Ramparts") Kibby, making small talk, asks, "So, your a fisherman?" Startled, George looks up. "Don't worry, I'm good at this. It's that you still have a fishing hook sticking out of your cheek. NO! Don't try to wipe it off!"

George hands over the completed, as much as possible, legal pad. And written down the left column is:

My Mommy
TWenTY yeArs @go
???
Son, I think

kibby looks around and once again El has disappeared. He looks in the back room and finds her surreptiously looking at a laptop that he didn't know the office even had. He sneaks up behind her to see the screen and sees she is reading the comments on the 24 thread and is ignoring him completely. He *sighs* and goes back to where Mr. Klooney with a "K" is, takes the legal pad and proceeds to ask some follow-up questions..

Picking up a handy wire cutter, Susan approaches George. "If you let me clip this barb off the end of the fishhook, I'll get that out of your way."

She clips the end, removes the hook, and hands him a clean, freshly ironed handkercheif to cover the puncture.

"More coffee, anyone? Can't have too much coffee..."

"So, George ... wouldn't mind if I call you Bruce, would you? Na, forget it, George will do."

George, slightly confused and holding his cheek, is starting to wonder what he's gotten into. Looking around the sparse office he notices there's only one desk; kibby's. By the door there's a coat tree with only one overcoat; kibby's. However beside the coat there's two (2) umbrellas - one's inside-out.

Examing the floor he sees that it's wood planked and worn between the door and the desk. Indicating that the desk hasn't moved in a number of years. Poking up through the worn areas are wood knots looking very much like burial mounds in a valley floor. What puzzles George more is that he doesn't know why he sees the burial mound simularity. He entire universe has been this town, his boat and the sea.

Glancing out the lone window he notices that the sky has grown darker and a light rain has begun to fall.

*watches as the Amazing Susan suddenly appears out of nowhere in the KibEl office*

*pops some kern and grabs a seat next to Lab*

This is getting exciting!

(The amazing Susan is often lurking, just out of sight. You never know when she might appear.)

*does the pretend yawn / stretch move and puts his arm around Di*

Mr. Klooney with a "K" comments on the fact that it's starting to rain.

"What's it to you?", says kibby in a somewhat grumpy voice, since he's tired of carrying the whole load here while El is still in the back office reading the 24 comments. kibby thinks to himself that El must be a really, really slow reader.

Somewhat taken aback by The Kibster's remark, Mr. Klooney with a "K" answers.

"Um, I just didn't know if you'd be willing to go investigate in the rain".

kibby, getting more annoyed by the second, raises his voice and replies, "This is Maine, not su.so.ca., for Pete's sake. It rains here every day. Of course we work in the rain, but we double our hourly rate".
In the back room, El hears this and knows kibby is just doubling the rate because he needs enough money to buy a bigger boat for ..

*adjusts turtleneck underneath coconut bra*
*does the pretend rollover/sleep move and drools on Labs arm*

{{KDF!!}}

... George screamed and tried to dive under Kibby's desk.
"Hey, what's this all about?" Kibby asked, looking at the fisherman, curled into a foetal ball at his feet, whimpering and muttering under his breath "No Mommy, don't go! I'll be a good boy, I promise! No Mommy, nooooooo!" Hmmmmmmm, thought Kibby, this could be a clue. He got up and shut the blinds, to block out the rain, and when he turned around, he saw George had wormed his way fully under the desk, still curled into a ball and now rocking back and forth (kinda like a Weeble (TM) but hotter). "George?" Kibby said. George looked up "Man, you've gotta come out from under there. I think I've discovered part of your problem. Let's talk about it." "How did you know what my problem was?" asked George. "I'm a detective.. we sense these things. Really."
George came out from under the desk, and sat in the client chair (a jarring note in the otherwise spartan room, the client chair was large and lush, trimmed in bright red naugahyde). As he sat, Kibby said

.....because everyone knows that he who dies with the most and biggest toys, wins.

oops.. cross-posting, but it could still work... anyone else want to pick up the threads? (Kibby's sweater or the story.. take your pick!)

George came out from under the desk, and sat in the client chair (a jarring note in the otherwise spartan room, the client chair was large and lush, trimmed in bright red naugahyde). As he sat, Kibby said..... do you know how many naugas it took to make that chair? Hope you appreciate it.

... his 'get-a-way' for when those folks in Joisey find out he's moved north. They're bound to come demanding an eye for an eye, or other body parts. Kibby tries to put that out of his mind as he's beginning to scare a potentially paying customer.

Kibby notices George's concerned inspection of the premisis.

"George, you seem nervous. Don't let our sparse apperance get to you. This", indicating the room's condition, "is specifically designed to throw off the unwanted intruder. We generate alot of interest on behalf of our customers and we find that having an office above "oe's Bar" and in this state has turned much of that attention elsewhere."

George, seemgly more relaxed, returns his attention to the questions Kibby's reeling off.

Kibby, "So, we have the basics. Now more details. Is 'Klooney' your real last name?"

George angerly responds, "YA BET YA! Why would I go 'n use someone elses last name!?"

"Well, George, sometimes we find folks are trying to get away from something and use an alias."

"NOPE! Not me!" George proudly replies. "I've been George Klooney ALL my life! Just ask anyone around here!"

"Ok, George, who do you think we should talk to FIRST! ... about finding your missing family?", tactfully changing the subject.

"Well," George pauses, a little reservation in his voice, "there's this gal that runs a boarding house, over on 2nd street? Her name is sly, I've known her forever! Right fine gal she is too."

Never mind.. let's follow Kibby. Seeing he's writing AND starring in the show, it could still work.

"Anyone else?" asked Kibby.
"Well, there's Lab Specimen. He's been here since before my family left. Be careful when you go to visit him, though. He tends to shoot people who go near his front lawn. You might want to ring first" "And anyone else?" "Isaac the bartender at the local bar. My Dad spent a lot of time there" "Okay, that's three solid leads. I'll start there and I'll let you know what I turn up. Meanwhile, you keep thinking of names from the past."

Kibby looked at the list, and thought to himself "I'll try that one first..." and left to go visit

. o O (If they keep typing, won't then eventually bang out the script to Hamlet?)

To be or not to be, that is the question, whether tis....


Could happen, I guess.

*SNORK!*

. o O

That reminds me.

Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble.

Out, out, damn spot!

Or is that Macbeth?

Out, out, damn MacBeth? No, that doesn't sound right.

"Out, out, damn spot" is from the Scottish play.

And here I thought it was from a bleach commercial...

oe's Bar ?

Scooter Libby - guilty.

I know I seem to be alone here with Kaf but this is taking way too long to load. Can't we move yet?

Please?

Pimpin' Hoes and Lickin' Toes at Oe's

I like it Trillian. :)

The MOAT is not loading slowly for me at all.

Aren't you moving back to NY soon enough!?

In other news - why do vendors (read: bars/restaurants) feel that it is MY place to beg THEM to accept my business??? Aren't they the ones getting paid?? (I'm trying to get pricing together for our end of busy season party and the fluckin venues are really being jerks about it. Almost as though they dont want the $15,000 we'd give them)

Ditto!

It's Mac's wifey trying to wash the blood from her hands!

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