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February 16, 2005


Who's up for Gerbil Roulette?


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quick call PETA

Don't make a move, or the gerbil bites the Big One.

I used to follow this, before it was all about the money!
And, anyway, I heard it was fixed.

The races, not the gerbils.

Hey, that house kinda looks like...


Richard Gere?!

Carl: My name is Carl and I'm a gambling-aholic.

Group: Hi Carl!

Carl: I started small. A lotto ticket here, an office pool there. Then we got satallite and that damn Gerbil Roulette got ahold of me and I never looked back. I blew through our savings, pawned the furniture, and finally lost the house. Now I sleep on the streets but I still see that stupid gerbil going into the wrong hole EVERY SINGLE TIME. I HATE THAT GERBIL, DO YOU HEAR ME!?!? DIE GERBIL!!! DIE AND ROT IN HELL!!!

I realize sometimes I am dumb as a box of rocks, but when I click on the above link, I get a site dedicated to some game involving "Quick Fire Balls" and "Average BAlls".
To hijack julietine's favorite line...
"I don't understand".


ha,ha!..very funny!...

Scroll down a little bit more, Igloo, and you find out that "it couldn't be easier."

11:00 - 12:00
Gerbil Roulette - Press red now to play Gerbil Roulette. When the wheel stops turning its up to you to decide which house our talented little rodent will choose to enter. It couldn’t be easier.

You guys should switch over to the more violent channel 182 for Gerbil Russian Roulette, or the adult channel 183 Gerbil Fetish Roulette.... or even illegal pervo channel 184 for Gerbil Fetish Russian Roulette - not a pretty sight

Well(channeling julietine) I give up. I don't have a red button. I have a red nose, but, alas, I haven't a red button. And besides, I will not patronize these cretins that are exploiting gerbils.
I have it on good authority, that there is a growing black market in gerbils, hamsters and turtles, as evidenced by the crime spree currently running rampant(not ramparts) in The Windy City. Di, who seems to be our on the scene reporter, will fill in the sordid details.

The gerbil story about me is totally false and I will sue anyone who mentions it and also sue Dave for giving them the opportunity!

Now if we could only get lawyers to stay still long enough, we could assemble

A cardboard tube
Gerbil Colony
Kitchen Matches

Tis what dreams are made of.

Step away from the Nickle Sock. Leave the paddle where you found it.

Yeah, that Richard Gere story was completely fabricated.

Frankly, I've come to expect more from this blog, taking such a cheap and easy shot at a guy who, after all, just wants the same things from this little old life that the rest of us want. Do we really want to examine everyone's particular path to g-spot nirvana?

Anyway, according to reliable sources, it was a chipmunk up his arse, and it was part of his method acting preparation for a film subsequently not made (due to poor initial screenings): Guy With A Chipmunk Up His Arse.

From the snopes site:
But, as a reporter from The National Enquirer found when he attempted to track down the gerbil story, there were no facts to be had.

And that stopped him why? Just what kind of reporters is the Enquirer hiring these days anyway? Sheesh.

Who wouldn't be willing to pay big money to see a game of gerbil roulette where, instead of running into a normal everyday hole, the gerbils run into, uhm, a differnt kind of hole.

Celebrity Arse's (or is it Arsees)(Arseses?)

...I remember the affecting scene from The Gerbil Hunter with Christopher Walken.

Gerbil Roulette is cool, but you really haven't gambled until you play Rabid Squirrel Roulette. Proven resistant to the Balkan Laser-Assisted_Not-Quite-Cheating Crew's dirty rotten schemes.

If I had "Quickfire Balls" I wouldn't advertise it on the internet or on Satellite TV.

* sigh *

Trystan - do you get the Andy Borowitz newsletter? There was one the other day that I think you may enjoy - if you're interested, let me know and I'll e-mail it to You!

I don't think "quickfire balls" are something to be very proud of................

or playing with............

I used to have "quickfire balls" but now I think about baseball....

Is Richard Gere gay?? OMG, nooooooo!

Well, I guess Gerbil Roulette is better than Gerbil Craps...

That's why the Roulette wheel is round ... so the gerbils can't crap in the corners ...

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