ATTENTION, YOUNG PEOPLE
Microsoft is "hep" to your "lingo."
(Thanks to Panda)
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Microsoft is "hep" to your "lingo."
(Thanks to Panda)
Look no farther.
(Thanks to Claire Martin, who notes that the whole sign site is excellent)
Update: Here's a sign for judi.
Update: If we see this thing, we are running it over.
Update: If your dog's poop appears to be this color, one of you needs prompt medical attention.
I just realized that tonight, for the third week in a row, I am going to miss 24, which is my favorite TV show except when I am actually watching it. So once again I will be relying on you alert blog readers to provide me with detailed and accurate accounts of the plot. Or you can just make random stuff up, which is basically what the 24 writers do anyway.
All I ask is that by tomorrow morning we will have finally moved past the nuclear-plant-meltdown plot thread, OK? My feeling -- shared, I am sure, by millions -- is: "Just go ahead and melt DOWN already."
"Knife rest"?! Only in Alaska.
(Thanks to Leetie.)
Apparently some of you need to be reminded that this is not okay. Even if you're miffed.
(Thanks to Kristi Kelley)
(Thanks to Sondra Anderson)
And you thought eBay was a good idea.
(Thanks to Brainy Jello)
(Thanks to Savitri)
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
(Thanks to Sam Spade)
Did anybody else watch the NBA All-Star Game last night? Did they ever get around to playing an actual basketball game? Or was it four straight hours of various musical acts performing to the accompaniment of indoor fireworks? And how, exactly, do you spell "accompaniment?"
Blogging may be light today, as this blog will be on the road -- but not, alas, on a frog safari.
(Thanks to Laura)
The Phasmids
Key Quote: "I think an 'Idol' is someone that you can look up to, someone who carries herself in a way that people will look up to her," Barrino said in a statement.
Look up to her? Look UP to her?? I live in a household containing, by conservative estimate, 17,000 Barbie dolls, and just for the record:
1. They are all very short.
2. Most of them, most of the time, are naked.
Disturbing Update: Moments after I wrote the post above, I went to check on my 4-year-old daughter, who was, as usual, in her room playing with her Barbies. She had one Barbie who was wearing a wedding dress, propped up next to Ken, who was... also wearing a dress.
"Why is Ken wearing a dress?" I asked.
My daughter only laughed. It was not a reassuring laugh.
Another Disturbing Update: The news keeps getting worse. It makes you wonder who will be next.
Perhaps she'll do well in the private sector; say, working with Koko.
(Thanks to julietine)
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
When she retires (current estimated date: October 8, 2038) she want to be a Kiwi.
(Thanks to julietine)
But we'd have to draw the line at reinforcing gorilla nipple fixation, too. Even if it were part of the job.
Key Quote: On one such occasion, Patterson said, 'Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples.'
(Thanks to Rich Way)
Featuring the newest sensation: Disembodied Roach Antenna.
(Thanks to Cheesehead Dave and Lairbo)
(Thanks to marvin the paranoid android)
Key Sexually Explicit Quote: By 5:30 p.m., the oysters began burping out white clouds...
Now this is a breakthrough.
(Thanks to Lisa, who asks, "I wonder when it's all over if it plays You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling?)
Update: Judi the Stealth Blogerette informs me that this item was sent in by MANY people. You know who you are.
(Thanks to Drew Harchick)
Crime is raging out of control.
(Thanks to Mike Zlotnick)
We report; you decide.
(Thanks to Jason Crawford)
If this guy had taught science at our high school, we'd have paid attention.
(Thanks to Karen Little)
A criminal mastermind is on the loose.
Key Quote: "He had to quit playing so the deputies could frisk him."
(Thanks tro Drew Harchick)
Exciting news from Detroit.
(Thanks to DavCat14)
Just in case you ever come across a flirtatious lobster.
(Thanks to Jim Baxter)
But the bloggerette is foolish brave.
(Thanks to Mrs. Mary Mac)
...you are looking for a star-nosed mole.
It has nothing to do with the phrase Tata Sponge.
Do not click here.
Might as well admit it, Fido: You're addicted to toads.
(Thanks to basically everybody on the Internet)
No word yet on what lobsters have to say about scientists being boiled.
Key Quote That Reminds Us of Our College Days: "No brain, no pain."
Take a seat on the Purist Hatbox.
Key Quote: VIP attendees including Betsey Johnson and Carmen Electra were overheard exclaiming in delight.
Related Development: Hard times in Sequoyah County.
Now they're using whales.
(Thanks to Octavia Sawyer)
But in plenty of time for Christmas.
(Thanks to Russell Mc)
But it's something.
(Thanks to Steve Lancaster)
You know how that smarmy guy on Battlestar Galactica is pretending to develop a Cylon detector? Here's one for geeks: What is your reaction to this page?
(Thanks to Kasey Rogg)
He allows this to happen.
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
We're going on a clam hunt!
Key Quote: A villager, who identified himself as Noh, said one might have to walk for about an hour in the sea to find a good location.
Who's up for Gerbil Roulette?
...when I would have paid somebody to steal my child's hamster.
...for Marsupial Manure.
It's raging out of control.
In Related News: We have this alarming story from Eurobodalia Shire.
You do not want to move to Germany.
(Thanks to Steve Lancaster and several others)