NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT

But we'd have to draw the line at reinforcing gorilla nipple fixation, too. Even if it were part of the job.

Key Quote: On one such occasion, Patterson said, 'Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples.'

(Thanks to Rich Way)

Comments

[Scott Akerman]

First!......

[Lairbo]

They're just pissed off that Koko didn't throw them any beads after they flashed her.

[Shortty]

"There's a history with this nipple thing," he said, leafing through the transcript and pointing out the word "nipple" -- which he'd highlighted in pink -- each time it appeared."

How appropriate. Something tells me this attorney is going to see the evidence in question, over and over and over again.

[Rave']

New movie: "Gorillas and Their (not They're) Tits..."

[Witchiecoo]

awwwwWWWWW! Shortty beat me to it.

*walks dejectedly to the corner*

*paddle-paddle*

[Witchiecoo]

The zoo's publicist, Sue Allen, said, "Those of us in Cleveland would say: 'Only in San Francisco.'"

Those of us in Canada, second that sentiment.

[Witchiecoo]

... although, it could've happened in Vancouver... if they had a gorilla who did sign language.

[BarryFS]

er .... no spanking?

[Shortty]

What exactly is the sign for "show me your tits?" I'm thinking it is something like that thing Fat Bastard does in Austin Powers.

[toredog]

"On one such occasion, Patterson said, 'Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples. I will turn my back so Kendra can show you her nipples.' "

....I wonder if Mr. Patterson is so lucky.

[toredog]

"On one such occasion, Patterson said, 'Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples. I will turn my back so Kendra can show you her nipples.' "

....I wonder if Mr. Patterson is so lucky.

[toredog]

“Alperin, 47, has returned to social work and is seeking $719,830 in damages.”

....sure seems to beat working at the topless bar.

(and sorry for the double post earlier...how does that happen?"

[antiroach]

Anybody seen Janet Jackson?

[Mike "Mad's Dork" Weasel]

Mmmm, my drawing class did mention the possibility of field trips... "Honey, can I borrow some ones? It's um, for art!"

[igloo]

"nipple thing"
The blog can now add this to the Dave Barry Blog Lexicon™&copt;®² along with the "Penis thing".

[Witchiecoo]

antiroach: It's always important to hire an employee who displays enthusiasm for the work.

They should definitively give Miss Jackson a call.

[igloo]

errrr...
I meant ©

[D'Artagnan]

igloo, I thought &copt; might give you a little helicopter flying around too, you know, like the one Cher hired in New Zealand.

Except hers was really big. It had to be, with all those hair and makeup people on board.

[antiroach]

Witchie...you only have to call her "Miss Jackson" if you're nasty. Oh, right...

[Rich Way]

Just to clarify the attribution - "Miss Lynster" found this and posted it on MetaFilter, which is where I found it.

[insomniac]

If Koko is sophisticated enough to reply to questions over the Net, surely her male handler could find a few pictures of nipples there to keep her happy.

Or,'she' could just be some horny guy who's lived in a gorilla suit for 18 years, learning sign language and thinking, "Today could be the day..."

[cubie]

I wonder what else Koko seen of Ms. Patterson's anatomy...

[igloo]

Dart,
I was going to try Ø or ð for the helicopter, but they just don't seem to work with Cher.

[Balanchine]

Didn't Koko used to have a kitten?

[Mad "about Weasel" Scientist]

Darling you can borrow whatever you like as long as you return them.

[Dave Munger]

That is one eccentric gorilla, with all the urine stored in the fridge and everything, maybe she's turning into Howard Hughes. "I refused to expose my breast to perform acts of bestiality..." I guess that's reasonable, I don't see any reason why you'd need to be topless in order to perform acts of bestiality.

[Bruce Alter]

Koko has been pulling this stunt for years. Here's a blurb from Cindy Adams' column in the New York Post from a couple of years ago:

NEW YORK POST
Tues., June 3, 2003
CINDY ADAMS

GLORIA Steinem's wedding anniver sary present from husband David was a visit to anthropologist Dian Fossey's jungle habitat in Africa. Koko the gorilla's curiosity extended to Gloria's bosom. Like, specifically, her nipples. To accommodate this scientific research, Gloria lifted her blouse. In her own language, Koko "signed" that: "You and I are the same."� Only in Africa, kids, only in Africa.

[Joshkr]

...and millions of men everywhere suddenly sign up for sign-language classes

[Brad Hutchings]

Yes, Koko had a cat. She ripped the nipples off one by one and the cat had to be used as a floor mop from then on.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Ooops, just sent this one in to daveblog (LTTG as usual). I gotta try and get up to date with this stuff . . .

[James Witnauer]

Koko actually killed its kitten (and maybe more than one), atlhough no one is sure how.

[Dave]

Apparently, this case was just settled with two of the women, with one still left. They didn't say what the settlement was though. Sure would be interesting to know what that's worth. Ya know, for future cases like this.

[Courtside watcher]

When you ask for $1.0 million, and the judge throws out your initial Complaint, and then your lawyer doesn't file an amended complaint, but instead pursuades you to settle quickly and quietly, how much do you think it was worth?