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February 28, 2005



Updates: Moo. Also, moo.

(Thanks to Mike Pontillo and Nate Little)


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They're still mad since I was FIRST!

Scientists are full of bovine excrement, say cows

So the meaning behind "You Nazis Cow!" has changed?
Is it less of an insult?

...but will they bear arms?

I'm going to go treat a chicken as an individual right now for lunch. Should be delicious on a salad....

Nothing worse than a cow with a grudge.

I really don't care about any animal you can hunt with a brick. Does that make me jaded...too bad cud I like it!!

* keeps an ear out for jingling of nickels *

Gary Larson must be ecstatic over this news.

Great cheese comes from happy cows.

So what's next?..Cows on Xanax???

RE: Update

Gary Hart's brother?

Plus, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!

Farmers! Lock up your heifers!

Why heifers though? I mean, why not go all-out & enjoy hot anal sex with the steers?

Oh my god, I have to go puke now. I just reached a new low: severe self gross-out.

I lived out in the boondocks for ten years and came to the conclusion that if I had to kill my own food, I would live happily on fish and poultry. Chickens and turkeys are really stupid and irritating by the time they are eating-size, and fish, while sentient are simple, cold creatures.
I could not kill and eat anything warm and furry. I eat meat because I buy it in the store in little white foam trays, and if I think about it too long I could probably become a vegetarian.

— "they worry about the future"

Especially if their pasture is next to a Burger King.

I can't believe that no one has pointed out the fabulous quote in the third article: "Cows look calm, but really they are gay nymphomaniacs."

I'm not sure whether to laugh outrageously or feel vaguely disturbed.

Holy cow!

No one else caught the line about cows being gay nymphos in update number 2??? LOL

..cows can become excited by solving intellectual challenges.

Cow 1: "How many gallons of milk does it take to.."
Cow 2: "Moo"
Cow 1: "How did you know?? I didn't even finish my question!"

Geez, I leave you guys alone for one day, and this is what I come back to?

Hot anal cow sex/gay nympho cows?

*grabs a chair and gets cozy*

As you were...

I for one, will no longer visit relatives on the farm. This article is too close to Animal Farm.

Cows are Gay Nymphomaniacs? Are my tax dollars paying for this nonsense?


Don't have a cow, man.

Really. Don't.

The study further indicates that cows suffer from low self-esteem and serious body image issues, owing to comparisons to the "unrealistic image" of such media savvy bovines as Elsie, the Borden spokescow.

Many non-celebrity cows take comfort in the persistent rumors of Elsie's "having had a lot of work done" including having as many as four of her six stomachs stapled to maintain her calflike figure.

Elsie herself was not available for comment (her farewell tour is in its 7th year) but her agent dismissed the talk as "Moolicious."

ps: Elizabeth, unless you're 'strailian, your tax dollars are safe.

a couple of years ago, a man was arrested for having 'relations' with a sheep... that was part of a Christmas display! He was also found to be in posssession of a girlie magazine, in case the combination of blasphemy and zoophilia wasn't erotic enough.

I recently watched the horror movie "The Grudge" with that Buffy chick and the basic plot involves these evil forces that are left when someone dies violently and holds a grudge against the living.....

Now that I know cows can hold a grudge, I'm not going anywhere near a slaughterhouse.... It would be like Amityville Horror times 10....

I mean the little Japanese kid with the sunken eyes screaming at everyone was bad enough. I don't want to see screaming cows...

Just so you'll know.....

Well I bet there's several cows right now who'll be holding a grudge for quite some time against a certain dirty old man. Now if it had been a dirty old woman......

So the Far Side is more accurate than I thought!

I loved the expression,"they jump up in the air when they have an eureka moment!"
*just like Einstein*

1) Do cow ghosts hold grudges against those who love a good steak? [This morning when I got up, the bottle of A-1 sauce from my fridge was smashed on the floor with no good explanation.]

2) You can't say Hart's a pervert: "He told police he never had sex with animals while maintaining a relationship with his a girlfriend or his wife"

2a) At least while involved with members of one species, he didn't cheat with members of another. Then again, he could have been cheating on the cow with the horse.

"Josh has a birthday, today! Josh has a birthday,today! Josh has a birthday, today, and that's the truth!" This is a first.

Gay cows? I guess they were steered wrong.

La vache qui rit.

Now we know why she's laughing.

Christine Nicol, professor of animal welfare at Britain's Bristol University, said even chickens might have to be treated as individuals with needs and problems.

I say chickens need to be breaded as individuals with white and dark meat.

End chicken discrimination! Eat light and dark meat on the same plate!

Hmmm...I wonder if we now need to change "smart-ass" to "smart-cow."

... a perfect English summer's day. Just like humans.

... as in ... rain? (It seems to rain in England a lot, or so I've heard.)

And this human wouldn't do that ... If I ever found myself in England, at any time of the year, I'd have better things to do than sit around looking at the sun ...

As for update #1 ... Oig!

I choose not to offer any comments on the "Cows with guns" item.

Regarding "Cows With Guns":

Did it bother anyone else that the cow who starred in that clip was constantly referred to as male? I'm sorry, but that made it udderly unbelievable for me.

Hey Jeff P. and lizagain: When I sent the second update to the blog, I started the e-mail with "Key Quote:" and then the gay nymphos line...I can't believe they didn't mention that in the item itself! It's so weird that they originally linked to a version of the article that didn't include that line. It was what made me send it in (well before the original "Moo" item posted)...


"who's there"

"impatient cow"

"impatient co--"


A note to everybody who raises cattle:

DO NOT let them read anything by Che Guevera!!!!! (whoever he is)

If cows really cared about self-preservation, they'd stop being so delicious.

If cows really cared about self-preservation, they'd stop being so delicious.

I just finished reading The Human Story by James C. Davis and I'm left with this feeling that all of history has been about one group of people enslaving or massacreing another group. And these people are worried about whether chickens lead fulfulling lives?

With 3 minutes and counting:


That will be all.

Uh-oh, Spam in every language. And on a COW thread too!

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