MEANWHILE, ON THE MEAN STREETS OF ALBANY, ORE.
Crime is raging out of control.
(Thanks to Mike Zlotnick)
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February 18, 2005
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Surely if he had the blowup pilot from Airplane in the front seat it wouldn't have been stolen.
I know, don't call you Shirley, got it.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | February 18, 2005 at 06:04 AM
"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"Uh...speeding?"
"That's right. License and registration?"
"Uh, sir?"
"Yes?"
"Do you know you're made of plywood?"
"Shut up. License and registration!"
Posted by: Christobol | February 18, 2005 at 06:13 AM
ouch! gonna sue - your car gave me splinters in my **** and ***!
greetings also from Albany NY, where we have real police cars, but the officers are blow-up dummies.
Posted by: queensbee | February 18, 2005 at 06:18 AM
Key Quote: "Pyburn is making a few more patrol cars and has plans for making other cutouts, such as children, dogs and chickens, to get drivers to slow down.
Chickens? Chickens? What the baaawk!!?
Posted by: antiroach | February 18, 2005 at 06:55 AM
On the plus side, he got a break from making all those plywood doughnuts!
Posted by: Writer's Cramp | February 18, 2005 at 07:33 AM
yea, sounds like they could use the Megazooka loaded with Xiang Poo
Posted by: moe the bartender | February 18, 2005 at 08:37 AM
Maybe next time he could make a plywood cutout of a cop in the bushes to scare away would-be plywood-cutout-of-patrol-car thieves.
Maybe even plywood cutout bushes...
Posted by: Just Happy to be Alive | February 18, 2005 at 08:39 AM
I'm cracking up at the vision of a guy inside of a plywood patrol car chasing after a speeder while making siren noises with his mouth.
Of course, his name would be Barney Fife.
Posted by: slyeyes | February 18, 2005 at 08:44 AM
Yeah, it's a jungle out here in Albany. If you think the plywood patrol car is funny, you should see the concrete meth heads!
Posted by: Ol' Chumbucket | February 18, 2005 at 09:50 AM
I was a bit distracted by the tabs along the top of that website.
HOME NEWS SPORTS BEAVERS CLASSIFIED...
Posted by: Mike "Mad's Dork" Weasel | February 18, 2005 at 10:48 AM
Police Officer: Sir, do you realize you hit that cut-out kid and cut-out dog?
Driver: Sorry, officer, I'll do better next time.
Police Officer: Let's see...that comes out to $600.
Driver: Wow, you're giving me $600? I thought they were only worth 50 points.
Police Officer: No, no. We're FINING you $600.
Driver: But I only missed the duck! Come on, let me play again. How many points is the duck worth, anyway?
Posted by: Lizzy | February 18, 2005 at 11:00 AM