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February 21, 2005


The Bent Policemen

(Thanks to Sondra Anderson)


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bathtubs = castles, would a fort be a toilet bowl?

I guess he got out of the "Sex" business when all of his employees became Bacon Whores.

I once ritually cleansed myself by diving into a pool with some strippers.

I don't think it worked.

"After a series of publicity stunts to expose corruption, a short jail term and a kidnapping he blames on bent policemen, he entered politics last year with a creditable showing in elections for the post of governor of Bangkok."

Has this guy ever been seen in the same room as Geraldo? No? I don't think that's a coincidence.



There's a lot of corruption pretty much everywhere.

Christobol, how is diving into a pool with strippers supposed to ritually cleanse one?

Hiya! *lays out welcome mat for all Moaties*

Is this the place??

Just us, Kaf. No one else wants to move, I guess.

They'll get here eventually, Jeff.. we just have to wait for them.

*falls from the MOAT sky and splashes down into the MOAT itself*

*various MOAT paraphanalia follow: a few goats, blog butter, a single lonely coconut bra, Fluffy*

Far out!

As long as it wasn't me suggesting it, Kaf, maybe this time the move will go through.

I was really hoping Zsa Zsa's hubby would win the Anna Nicole baby sweepstakes, that is if Hugh Hufner wasn't a contestant, but I must admit I thought it would be Larry Birkhead.

I actually bet money it was Burt Reynolds or OJ.

OJ would have been a great result. Imagine the coverage!

Always good to start a new MOAT with a snarky remark.

Really hospitable.


And, for the record, moving or not moving the moat has nothing to do with who suggested it. PERIOD.

Well, that was painless.

However, I still can't find my CV. Does anyone want to make up some fake credits for me? Please and thank you.

hehehe "puffy" nipples.

I the school library. It's cold, dense, and not very inviting.
I want to be warm when I study.
I want earthy colors that make me think of fireplaces and cocoa.
And books. Floor to ceiling books.

Floor-to-ceiling books would be wonderful.

hello MOAT!

What'll this one be called? The GNFARB MOAT? Any ideas? Otherwise I'm going with 'The Rock Band MOAT'.

I saved mine as The Bent Police Moat. Not that it matters, so long as we can get back here.

The Bent Policemen MOAT?

Something like that.

ooh... I just got the MB and I was posted today! Yay, me! I can die happy. Or preferably stay alive for a while longer.

Rhetorical baseball question: is A-Rod hot or what?

New MOAT weather & gas price update:

Weather is still about 10 degrees below average.
Gas prices $2.93+, approaching $3.00.

/end update

Rhetorical baseball answer:

What's a rod?

*waiting for Fish to take the bate*

Can any of you lovely people tell me why it is necessary to wait OVER AN HOUR to get a lousy blood test? And there is a sign on the wall (Quest Di@gnostics) saying they want this to be a lovely, positive experience and you should give them feedback in the suggestion box, but they are no forms to do so.

"Write" your suggestions on toilet paper, Jeff.

That sounds like my insurance company, Jeff. They say that Protonix, an acid reducer, is a short-term treatment, and in spite of me losing 4 to 5 pints of blood in December, I don't need to keep taking it. They said that my doctor can fill out "the form" (which they neglected to send) so I can keep taking it.

And then there the little problem of having no doctor currently, as mine has lost his medical license due to a pesky little sexual misconduct charge.

*tosses up a ' up there*


*with an s after the '*

And then there the little problem of having no doctor currently, as mine has lost his medical license due to a pesky little sexual misconduct charge.

Do tell, rita.

No, really, we want to hear this.

Oh, back in January a woman patient of his called the police after she left the doctor's office and complained that he'd forced her to perform oral sex on her in the office. If she was upset about anything, she hadn't bothered to tell any of the nurses or the receptionist or anyone else in yelling distance. The examining room walls are paper thin, so if she'd made any sound (voices can easily be heard all over the place) whatsoever, someone would have heard her.

My nephew was brand-new on the police force at that time, so we heard through the grapevine that the police thought there was something funny about the report, but they had to go pick up Dr. Fondling anyway, handcuffing him and taking him out in front of his patients. He was out on $2000 bail and back at work.

We didn't even hear about this, even though it was in the newspaper (on a Saturday, and I only get the weekday papers) until his license was suspended by the state until the case was resolved. In the meantime, I'd seen him for a cortisone injection and a couple of other things.

Suddenly he was gone and a substitute doctor was called in overnight, some ancient man whose hands shook and who kept me waiting for 3 hours while he ducked in and out of the examining room trying to find his prescription pad, talking to the nurses, making jokes, telling me about his practice at home, and generally making me want to kill him. I'd had a UTI for 6 weeks and he told me, without any testing whatsoever, that it was chlamydia. He wrote it on my chart. However, a culture showed that it was just a plain old UTI, but I've got chlamydia on my medical record forever.

I called the office yesterday (the medical hearing was on April 6; he'd already pleaded guilty to the sodomy charge, damn him) to ask for some refills, and the answering machine message was short and curt: the office is closed, if you need immediate attention, go to the ER. I googled our newspaper, the doctor's name, but I couldn't get any info. So I guess he lost his license.

Shit. Now I need a new doctor.

Since the ReMOAT group, much like the MOAT itself, has outlived its usefulness, I have handed over the reigns. I was talked out of removing it altogether, so instead, I have turned it over to my good friends Eleanor and Wolfie.

I do hope, for your sakes, that you didn't piss them off recently.

Of course, them being women and all, "recently" means the same thing as "ever".

See ya on the blog! Or the MBs!

That sucks Rita.

I had a UTI all the beginning of this semester, and I didn't have any symptoms at all. Then one day I woke up with THE WORST fever I can remember. Actually my boyfriend woke me up in a panic because I was so hot. He carried me to the bathtub and unceremoniously dumped me into cold water. Then he held me down for nearly an hour. Then he made me an emergency appointment at the school clinic. The doctor there insisted I was pregnant. INSISTED. Then was disappointed when my tests came back. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! Don't give me attitude about my health.

But at least that guy wasn't my real doctor.
And there aren't related misconduct charges to my story.

Okay, she wasn't performing oral sex on herself. You can probably figure it out.

I don't think Slyeyes and others know we have moved.

Geez, Crash, sounds like a wonderful doctor. I think it's going around.

I delete Moat links as I go.. can someone direct them here?

Wolfie's in charge of the ReMoat? *strips nekkid n runs around in circles*

Rita - it's tough finding a new doctor. Good luck to you!

Oh it gets better.
I had a bad reaction to coming off the meds. It gave me Strep Throat symptoms and I couldn't swallow anything, water, food, spit, nothing. I lost 2 pounds. Boyfriend made me an appointment, I refused to see those gaddam doctors again. But now I had to go. The new doc told me it was the common cold. Told me to take an aspirin. I was livid. No one ever asked my medical history, what prescriptions I'd had recently, nothing. I found out from a friend of my mom it was the medication because the same thing happened to her. Gross alert: the antibiotics messed with my internal chemistry so I've had to deal with that too, all the way up until Saturday.

Does the handing over of the ReMOAT mean the lawn is no longer Lab's? No more hose?

Awww Crash - glad you're feeling better now! (YOu are feeling better, right?)

Wow, rita and Crash - that sucks (no pun!).

How come some doctors can manage to treat patients in a reasonable manner (yes, there are some!) while most seem not to care? (Yes, rhetorical again.) As mentioned, we sat in the ENT guy's office 1 hour and 45 minutes past my appointment time before he saw me. Next time I got the last appointment at 5:40 and "only" waited 45 minutes more.

And the whole appointment took 5 minutes!

Jackie's thyroid doctor is another one. The receptionist (don't know if it is her policy or the doctor's) schedules ALL appointments for 9 am instead of staggering them so - foolish us - we sat there from 9 to noon before he saw her.

/end medical rant

Yes now.

Ugh, I hate waiting hours for NO apparent reason.

Science is all about waiting hours, days, months often for no apparent reason.

I want my reasons to be APPARENT!

I always wanted my a parents to be reasonable.

The last time I waited for over an hour to see the Doctor, I sent a bill for my time. I never received a check, but the next time it did not take as long to see him. At least charge them $8 to $10 an hour, or whatever you are compensated for when you work.

BigD-That only works for people who have no sicktime/paid vacation. I realize that is a large chunk of the workforce.

If you (not you specifically BigD just the general you) are getting paid sick leave then stop complaining about the wait and think about what you would be doing if you were at work. Waiting doesn't seem so bad.

Also next time you demand to see the doctor the same day without an appointment think about all the people with appointments you are making wait a little longer.

Overall the health care system in the US has a lot of problems, but I think in the end the quality of care you receive is generally superior to most places in the world. So if you have to wait a few hours what is that compared to walking 2-3 days to get to the nearest hospital.

Sorry-Just sometimes we Americans are very spoiled.

/unfunny state of the world


My doctor has started an office policy that I've heard a number of other doctors have started as well. Instead of booking their day solid with appointments, they leave several hours open for "urgent care"; so when someone wakes up with a fever, etc and needs to see a doc that day instead of 3 weeks later, an apointment is available and he doesn't louse up everyone else's schedule.

When I have had a scheduled appointment with him, I've never had to wait; and when I've called for urgent care, I've gotten in that day without muss or fuss.

r.i.p Kurt Vonnegut...

RIP Mr Vonnegut.

I do occasionally complain about the standard of health care in this country, but we're a lot luckier than most places.

sly, an excellent policy, would that all doctors adopted it. Jackie has a couple of doctors who schedule only a reasonable number of patients, so the wait isn't too bad. And our GP rarely has a long wait. It's those specialists.

And Mad was right about one thing: my initial ENT appointment was added in late so I expected to have to wait.

I hadn't heard about Kurt Vonnegut. I read a lot of his books in the 70s but hadn't read the newer ones. And I loved his appearance with Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School.

sly, have you made it to the Coast? I bet your weather is a lot better than ours. It is pouring down rain and the wind is whipping it around. Luckily for us we don't have to go out until this afternoon.

Tonight at 8: Mr. Meat Loaf.

Bummer. I just got an e-mail from Ticketmaster:

Please be advised that due to a severe inner ear infection, the Meat Loaf concert performance scheduled to take place at the Theater at Madison Square Garden on Thursday, April 12, 2007 has been rescheduled.

The new date for this concert is Wednesday, July 18, 2007 at 8:00 p.m.

What about people who don't have e-mail or bought their tickets directly from the box office and haven't heard this elsewhere? I guess they won't find out until they show up tonight.

Luckily, we have a game at the Stadium that Tuesday, not Wednesday.

/end concert update

Jeff, I was in California earlier this week, just an over night trip. Flew out Monday morning, flew back Tuesday night. Late. I go back either Sunday night or Tuesday night. And yes, it's beautiful out there.

sorry to hear about mr. meat's inner-loaf infection...

better than an inner-meat infection

Should we place an order for some Monist@t?

I guess you could always get your paradise by the monitor light.


We moved?

Sly was in Sacto and didn't email me?

I promised not to bring up her behavior in Vegas....

Oh well, maybe next time.

After all those years of sucking on unfiltered Pall Malls, Vonnegut dies at 84 from complications from a fall? After dedicating his life to suicide by cigarette?
So it goes...

Life's funny like that, Jamester.

Good morning. I had to fix my ReMoat membership this morning. I thought I got a Daily Digest. Turns out I haven't been getting ReMoat emails for a while for who knows what reason, and yesterday, I got a zillion (okay, 15 or 16) of em, all separate. Hopefully it will go back to a daily digest by tomorrow.. because the individual thing is confusing.

Update for Kaf in case she hasn't looked out the window this morning:

Current conditions (Christchurch Airport)
Description: Light rain. Partly sunny. Nippy.
Temperature: 45°F Comfort level: 37°F
Wind: 8 mph from 280° West by north
Last update: Fri 6:00 AM NZST

Higgy, I'm heading your way Tuesday night. I wasn't even there 24 hours this week. At the rare quiet moment we had, I did take out my cellphone to look up your number, and then my Blackberry went off and it was back in the trenches.

But I WILL be calling!!

Jeff, I had looked, but thanks for the reminder :P

I think it's supposed to get into the early 50s. It doesn't have far to go. I guess it must be autumn :(

Now that Oprah is having the Rutgers womens' basketball team on my question is... why weren't they worthy of appearing on her show before now?

They made it through to the finals by beating several much higher-ranked teams but now she's suddenly interested? And she didn't even mention their accomplishments, just how they're holding up under the pressure.

Just another media you-know-what.

/end disgust







can't wait to *boink* (not *burbank*) the wife tonight

*slinks in* Happy FURRRRRIDAY!!

Good morning and Happy Fri... er, Saturday to you, Kaf.

And everyone needs to get over to Higgy's blog for some new pictures of Owen-y goodness.

*loads up the sailboat with Huey, the Catapult, skeet shooter and assorted fire arms and plots a course for Richmond*

Rita! Tell Tom I'll be there in about 4 weeks!!

Scum like that are the first ones that would "avenge" a killing of one of their own, but expect us to sit on our hands! Sickens me!

*looks through Romper Room Ring*

Happy Birthday to MarieP, Crash and Lianne the Blue.


*blames Al Gore*

*bounces in*

I'm back!!! Didja miss me?

Happy very belated birthdays to Crash and MarieP!!!

I did survive the trip...cold though it was. Colonial Williamsburg Monday and Tuesday evenings, Busch Gardens Wednesday.

Tuesday morning was torture. When we checked into our hotel, there was a guy, Smitty, in the lobby...with a map of the area, tickets for 10% off meals at a couple of places...and, he could sign us up to go over to the Fairfield resort nearby. Only an hour and a half. And we could get, our choice, three tickets to Busch Gardens. We of course had no interest in getting involved in a time share program, but, hey...for an hour and a half to two hour thing, that we didn't HAVE to buy, and end up with THREE tickets that sell for $55 each, we could do this.

And we did. It was closer to 5 hours though before we got out. Without buying. Gorgeous place. By the third money person that talked to us, they had the price down to what we could have managed, but as we told them...over and over and over...we are not vacation taking people. Not even if we had something like this.

But we did finally get the tickets. And I am not an amusement park kind of person, but hey, this was a really nice one. And my mother rode on the rides too...none of the big big ones...she did ride the Big Bad Wolf...not her type. But she did ride it.

And we rode the log flume. Yes. Cold, overcast day and we go on a log flume.

And to my daughter's total disgust, she didn't get wet, even though she rode it twice. I rode it once.

I was soaked.

Completely. There may have been a few dry spots on my back.

And I came back to work to find mail from...


Ok, it was also to the paper for his subscription...

*whisper to Kibby* I like the DB thingie you had in there!


Kibby's parent, he believes, has a week at that Fairfield Resort.


Make that "Kibby's parentS" up ^ there....

There are three Fairfield resorts in Williamsburg, I forget which one we saw. Nice place, nice idea, but not something my family would use.

And on the plus side, of the group that went in when we did, quite a few were STILL there when we left. If they were buying, I think they'd have been done sooner.

Apparently my grandmother and her second husband used to go to that kind of thing allll the time, and got free stuff. Never bought what they were selling, but sat through the presentations and sales pitch.


Did I kill things here?

Oh well...and here I brought fudge from Williamsburg...chocolate, dark chocolate, Heath Crunch and rocky road...

yummm... chocolate...
*runs to search for roommates' easter candy*

(doesn't take much looking, everyone put it in a bowl on the kitchen table)

UGH. I have to work today.
I do not come in on fridays!


G'morning! Sorta, anyway.

Happy Moataversary!!! Yes I know I'm early, but I say we start celebrating now and work up to a reason for it later. I found some cabana boys and girls to help get the party started! *Decorates the Moat for Moati-Gras-type celebrations*

I'll wish everyone a happy moataversary now and leave the special Jack Baur Blog butter (Tm thingy) over here.

I'm off to a conference this afternoon and RenFair tomorrow so no moating. We are going to see Mr. Completely and Mrs. The point there. HUZZAH!!!

Susan, of course we missed you. I wanted to ask for a song yesterday.

Anyway, didn't I warn you? IT JUST ISN'T WORTH IT to do those time share things no matter WHAT they promise you! We did one a few years ago - trust me, h@ll could freeze over before we ever do another - in New Orleans. Yes we got tickets to a riverboat and a plantation tour, but by the time they finally gave us the goodies and let us go we had lost the will to live.

Anyway, welcome home and out of the cold.

Jackie is celebrating today. We just discovered that our incredibly annoying next door neighbor - sly will remember the planters in the hall - is moving! Her son & his wife just had a baby and they are all moving to Staten Island (where they belong).

kibby, how is the little one doing? ANy new pictures or stories?

Susan, the worst part was that the time share wasn't even in New Orleans so all we saw was PICTURES of it! It looked nice but we weren't buying.

Your grandmother sounds like Jackie's late parents, who would do that for the goodies too.

Jeff, we did survive it...and it was a rather cold morning, so Colonial Williamsburg or Busch Gardens would have been outside in the cold...they were just soooooo relentlessly cheery. Until the last person or two when it was clear we weren't buying.

And yeah, it was annoying, but worth the $150 in tickets we got.

It's also something I never plan to do again.

The playlist for today (or the week, in fact...)

Friday 4-13-07 All Request Lunch Hour
“Sultans of Swing” Dire Straits
“It’s Only Rock and Roll” Rolling Stones
“She Works Hard For the Money” Donna Summer
“Home” Marc Broussard
“Tears in Heaven” Eric Clapton
“Bless the Broken Road” Rascal Flatts
“This Old Heart Of Mine” Isley Brothers
“Carefree Highway” Gordon Lightfoot
“Take Me Home Tonight” Eddie Money
“Five o’Clock Somewhere” Alan Jackson
“Wild World” Mr. Big
“I’m Your Captain/Closer to Home” Grand Funk Railroad---Reece

It's a lovely warm day here. Delightful in every way. I may, perhaps, haul my bike out and put air in the tires and perhaps ride it a bit. I really should get back into riding it. I tend to say that, and not actually do it...but maybe saying something will spur me to do it. Maybe.

Friday the 13th falls on Friday this month!

Flings pants on Lab's lawn and runs.

I can't remember if I've reported it, but I found out this week that MY annoying neighbors are moving!!!

Remember, I've b!tched about them getting a reduction in their rent for mowing and snow removal; but they don't actually do the mowing and snow removal.

Then there was all that drama a few weeks ago with the landlord stomping around over there saying TWO WEEKS! TWO WEEKS! Forget it, ONE WEEK!!

He drove by the other day, stopped and left a message for them that they'd better get their butts out there and mow. The sister did mow a couple of weeks ago, but you can't tell it now. Their response was "fuggetaboutit".

AND THEY ARE MOVING!! The end of April.


Reports that they are moving to Staten Island, however, are incorrect.


Wonder who's going to move in. That's the kicker.

Sly, hooray! As long as they don't move next door to us I'm happy for you.

Maybe they can move to Staten Island too. Why not?

That's what I told Jackie, "it could always be worse."

But she denies that's possible. We'll see. We've had a series of them next door and most have been weird or worse. One entertained older men (NTTAWWT) in what seemed a very odd manner. One was just an unfriendly rhymes with witch; she still lives here but moved to a bigger apartment across the hall and is just as unfriendly. One didn't bother me but got into a dispute with the woman who lived below her, who supposedly hit her over the head and tried to push her down the stairs!

Maybe this time we'll get lucky (fingers crossed)?


*flings pants and runs*

Hi guys and gals. I recently discovered I have been purged from the REMOAT. I noticed it said "Under new management" and "by invitation only", but silly me, I thought that referred to new people. I had been a member for 3 + years. Well, evidently no more. Silly me, I thought well maybe they just purged inactive members, and so I reapplied and very quickly had an email response. Tell me more about yourself, it said. Like your sex, name, and location. And anything else you want to tell us. So I responded female, peridot, texas. That's all I wanted to tell. If I wanted to bare my soul or blabber on constantly about insignificant stuff, I would have been a regular MOAT participant. And guess what, after hours and hours of waiting, I have not had a response. Thank you "new management" Eleanor and wolfie. I tried to stick my toe in the MOAT a few months back. I had a few kind welcomes, a lot of ignores, and one challenge. It scared me off. I am quiet and like to listem more than I like to talk. You learn stuff that way. Eleanor is always talking about wanting to be one of the "cool kids". Well I guess she made it and decided to let power rule instead of welcoming other people. You guys always go back and forth about should we invite people, should we hide, should we let anybody who finds us in? Most of the people say if anybody finds us, they are in. But I guess we havbe a new time of exclusivity now. And you know what? You guys are not as funny as you used to be. There is not the same wit and run with the topic that it used to be. But you guys always "said" it was not a closed society. Well, guess what? The new managment has made it so.

change "havbe" to have.

Peridot, I'm sorry that was your experience. I hope things get resolved for you soon.

I've always believed that anyone was welcome here. I know for myself that I don't bite. Not unless you ask nicely.

No, we're not as spontaneous and crazy as we once were. I don't know how to fix that. This is just a different Moat from the original Moat, I guess. Things, people and attitudes change. Happy Moataversary anyway!

peridot: I'm sure the "cool kids" did not mean to exclude you, as that is not the way the MOAT operates. Eleanor & Wolfie just took over and are trying to get things straight, so don't give up.

As for the rest of us, there are several blurkers here so please feel free to stick around, read it and post when you want to. Some of us post more than others but you are welcome...really. Just say hello at least once in a while so we know you're still interested.

And Happy MOATaversary to the MOAT.

We are getting a one day respite from the crappy spring (hah!) weather today, thank goodness. Yesterday was 49 but mostly overcast and very windy. We went to the Island of Long (well, technically we live on said Island, but we mean Nassau & Suffolk Counties).

Today we have a matinee in the City (Manhattan, for you out of towners). They are predicting (again, hah!) 57 and sunny (which it is, now) before tomorrow's predicted nor'easter - torrential rains (of 2-4 inches), 30-40 mph sustained winds with much higher gusts, beach erosion, etc. Let's just hope it continues on quickly into New England as the current thinking is, rather than stalling.

/end weather whine

Happy Moataversary!! Moataritas for everyone!!

Thanks for the kind words Kaffy and Jeff.

I was visiting with friends last night, getting in as much friend-time as I can before I head west. K said she had received a picture that day from her eldest son who is working this year as a graduate student at a university in Germany. Right now, he is on spring break and touring Hong Kong and China. The picture was taken on the Great Wall, from behind and above him. And he's buck naked, standing with his arms spread out, embrasing the world.

As we all looked at the photo on her computer, another friend said "Interesting crack on the wall."

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