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February 17, 2005


Flatulent Shoes

(Thanks to basically everybody on the Internet)


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First?! I want a pair!!

Seriously, it was the shoes . . .

No really, they're lactose intolerant.

Being FIRST gives me Goosebumps.

It's about time I get the recognition I deserve!

I am so happy to be first on this thread.

**one cheek sneak**

at last ! I don't have to buy a dog ! I can blame my shoes!

I want a pair!! The perfect way to get back at my daughter for borrowing my clothes without asking.

WOW! A quintuple simulpost!

**hands out cigarettes to the other 4**

was it good for you guys?

Not as good as Lobster Love, but it will do for now, Brian B

Whaddya mean, "other 4?" I'm like, millions of people. Maybe billions, even. I should look up how many people I am.

Thanks BrianB . . .

waaaaaaiiiiit a second . . .

what's in this thing?


Cane toad bufo-toxin.

That's some great frog, huh?

Every step you take
It's not wind you break
Though you say it's fake
It's the sound you make
when you've got farting shoes!

Oh, can't you see
Nothing's coming outta me!
No intestinal ache
With every step you take.

Hush puppies they ain't.......

Please, please never go to sleep. You are too(not...) good.
But guit bogarting the toad bong. I need some help, man.

I've owned these shoes ever since I discovered beer...

elle - but could they be "sneakers"?

Hey! That's just up the road from here! I ought to look into this. After all, they tossed at least 35,000 pairs at a cost of $200,000 to $250,000. That's 35,000 pairs of perfectly good shoes.

I've been calling tennis shows "quick starts" for decades(oh the pain). If I could get my hands on the 35,000 pairs they are discarding I would have plenty of "quick fa*ts".

OOh; OOoh;
Performance art. Similar to what that Christysomethingorother guy did in Central Park.
We equip 35,000 New Yorkers with the shoes and then send on parade down 5th Ave.
Just 10 people and send them on a tour of the Guggenheim or other such trendy place where all of the "Swells" hang out.

Three people to follow The Donald around...

Damn Toad Sweat..
Tennis shoes not tennis shows!!
Licking toads, trying to keep up with the Blog and all the while these damn alarms at work keep going off. Give it a rest. Hell this Nuclear facility is well protected and it's not my job to see why they won't shut off. Damn anal-retentive boss.

Oh! Igloo! You're the guy who works in the corner office, right? Look up! I'm waving at you right now!

Actually *giggle* the alarm system is my job, but I'm having so much fun blogging...!

If there made by Goosebumps shouldn't they make a sound like a door creeking open everytime you walk?

Yep, that's me. You probably recognized me from my swim suit picture.
*Tentative wave back*
These damn straps. Need to get some duct tape to keep them on. Hope they have flesh covered duct tape down at the Ace.

"I was wondering why you fart every time I squeeze your breasts?"
"That's not me farting, its my implants"
"Your implants make farting noises?"
"The manufacturer got a good deal on some cheap gel to fill up the implants. They were on "special" when I got my boobs done."
"You knew they were going to make the farting noise?"
"They were half price!"
"Its not like I walk on them"

"Goosebumps' largest distributor complained as well, and the company tossed at least 35,000 pairs at a cost of $200,000 to $250,000, said attorneys Robert W. Anthony and William H. Beaver II."

Can anyone say "S-P-E-N-C-E-R-'-S"?

Another perfect example of a missed business opportunity.

whatever you do..if it is not comedy, you are in the wrong business baby!...

ps: How's the baby doing???

Imagine Michael Flatley and his troupe in these... Wouldn't that be great?



Ha,ha...why did I not think of that!!!

Shoe farts.

*the 12 year old in me is hysterical with laughter*

"Who Cut the Cheese?: A History of the Fart", by Jim Dawson. A must read for anyone whose knowledge of the field is, um, cloudy.

"Who Cut the Cheese?: A History of the Fart, by Jim Dawson. A must read for anyone whose knowledge of the field is, um, cloudy.

Actual conversation in class this morning:

Student: Why is the sky blue?

Me: It comes from gases in the atmosphere.

Teacher: Naw, that's not it. Are farts brown?

Fart and sole, I fell in Love with you,
Fart and sole, the way a shoe will do,
Because you fit my feet right
and ease my corns plight

Fart and sole, I begged to hear your sound
Lost control, and tumbled on the ground
That magic night we walked
and talked and talked and talked

Oh, but your tongue was thrilling, much to thrilling
Never before were my feet so strangely willing

But now I hear, what one short walk can do
Look at me, it's got me loving you

That little sound you told
Is all I want to hold

12 year old? You might want to keep an eye on the Michael Jackson case. Just for future reference.

fart and sole... haaaaaa. i know my 12 yr old nephew will want a pair.[breaks up with laughter]

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