EFFECTIVE BUSINESS WRITING

I received a handwritten letter from a salesperson at a department store where I bought a gift recently. The letter begins as follows:

Mr. Barry, D

Thanks in advance for letting me assist you last time.

Comments

[Steve]

Dave.... you wouldn't happen to have purchased a time travel device at that store, did you?

[Jer]

A successful time traveler.

[Balanchine]

Don't forget to not pay no nevermind to the post I might should've made if I'da thought about getting up earlier.

[hayduke lives]

I think this guy goes by the blog clock.

[everysandwich]

Maybe that sales professional was under the influence of the extended drunkenness pill -- or taunting Mr. Langauge Person, maybe both.

[wha'happened?]

Dave--you got a handwritten letter??? From a salesperson??!! Unbelievable! This gives me hope, though not for our public education system.

Is this normal procedure for that department store? Does it have something to do with your celebrity status, which we all know is A-list (cough)? Just wondering...

[OriginalEnigma]

not to worry - the salesperson was only dumbstruck by dave's celebrity status, causing a small glitch in the time-space continuum.

everything should return to normal soon.

[OriginalEnigma]

not to worry - the salesperson was only dumbstruck by dave's celebrity status, causing a small glitch in the time-space continuum.

everything should return to normal soon.

[wha'happened]

**Hay--I'm with ya! What is WITH the blog clock? Something must be done!

(looks around, sees no one else to take care of the problem, shrugs shoulders and thinks to herself, "Well, maybe I'm just making a big deal out of nothing." Wanders away...)

[rjh2os]

Wasn't this a Twilight Zone episode??

[julietine]

Well maybe she meant it when she said "last time"....right?,..not??...ok then maybe she went to the Julietine's school of professional business writers...

[Shredder]

I want to extend a belated compliment on Dave's next book. I enjoyed it more than munching on Big Mama's sausage.

[Jessica R.]

The blog clock fixes itself as soon as the time change rolls around again. So don't worry your pretty little heads about that anymore. Judi and Dave have tried to get it fixed, but their attempts were in vain, and they have WAY more important blogging to do. Also, we are all capable of subtracting "one" from the hour posted, I hope, except when we're drunk, and time doesn't matter at all in that case.

Dave,
Is the rest of the letter as grammatically challenged as the snippet that you shared? It sounds like he/she was trying to impress you but failed miserably.

Wow, it must have been some impressive gift to merit a personal note! Did you go to Donald Trump's wedding? The media claimed that the gift registry for that wedding was WAY out of my gift giving price range.

[Wacked Without an H]

At least there was some follow up on the sale, no matter how ambiguous it was/is/will be.

[D'Artagnan]

Dave, I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

[punky brewster]

And THAT is why he works in a department store.

[Eleanor]

The Campaign for Real Time needs to check out this salesperson.

[The Honorable Stinky Butt Guy]

I don't get it.

[MOTW]

Signed by Yoda, right?

Right, punky. When they say, "Hi, my name is Bob," they've told you all they know.

[MOTW]

THSB Guy - long time no see. Welcome back!

[BarryFS]

The salesman was wondering if Barry needed some fresh batteries for it yet.

[opiesgirl]

Dave should get this sales person a gift- Hooked On Phonics.

[opiesgirl]

Dave should give the salesperson a present- Hooked On Phonics.

[opiesgirl]

Dave should get this sales person a gift- Hooked On Phonics.

[opiesgirl]

Dave should get this sales person a gift- Hooked On Phonics.

[Marty]

I just wanted to thank you in advance for posting that note. It will make my day.

[opiesgirl]

Sorry about the semi-double post. My computer went postal.

[Alex D.]

Huk'd ahn fawniks wurkd fer mee!

[punky brewster]

opiesgirl ... you mean, your computer went "kitty". ;)

[igloo]

Dave,
What country did the Postmark indicate the letter came from? Calcutta, India?

[horned frog]

*Ring*
"Calcutta, Black Hole speaking."
"Is this Dell tech-support?"
"Let me transfer you."

*Barry Manilow music, covered by Ravi Shankar*

[MOTW]

*GASP* Has Cher finally Turned Back Time?
-- run for the hills, folks! --

[horned frog]

"Calcutta, Black Hole speaking."
- John Heard, in "Cutter's Way", 1981
For you attribution sticklers

[philintexas]

chrono-dyslexia... gets time backwards...This is the first time I am going to write this. I will be so ashamed of you people when you made light of this boy's condition.

[Arcane Jill]

Eleanor: Think the Campaign for Real Time can hire Jack Bauer to launch a crack-cat at this person?

[Uncle Omar]

I only have one thing to say about this subject, but since you already heard it, I won't repeat it.

[Kaitlin]

Hi My name is kaitlin I'm 11 years old and I love the books peter and the starcatchers and Peter and the shadow thieves, Can you write another one I really really want to know what happens next.
I play basketball and softball, I'm from boston so I love the red sox. I just moved to san Diego at the beggining of this year. Anyway can you please please please write another sequal! Those books rock!
-Kaitlin