ATTENTION, WOMEN

Apparently some of you need to be reminded that this is not okay. Even if you're miffed.

(Thanks to Kristi Kelley)

Comments

[Sean]

It could have worse,she could have had a grenade in her clam..

[bbescuela]

Isn't "getting miffed" what they call it when a man has his thingy cut off by an enraged PMSer?

[cubie]

I bet she was a Bobbitt

[golfwidow]

Has none of these women learned their lesson yet? Don't throw it where the cops can find it.

(Lesson brought to you by Dave Barry in Cyberspace.)

[everysandwich]

Sean, your joke cost me my gum. Excellent!

[Christobol]

"Honey baby snookums pie? I've changed my mind. Let's talk about your feelings!"

"Too late."

"I hope it clogs your toilet."

"If it would, we wouldn't be fighting."

"You're mean."

[julietine]

JUDI,

SAYS WHO???

[judi]

so, you're not looking to date, eh julie?

[igloo]

Considering where the severed organ was retrieved,I would be very skeptical if I were this man. After all, several threads below the police admitted that they couldn't tell the difference between a finger or a sausage.

[matt neffer]

Please do not tamper with my evidence. What ever you do; leave me, and my evidence alone.

[Karlota]

*gasp* Igloo, thats terrible!

(As in, terribly funny!)

[horned frog]

julietine, I was starting to get a little crush on you, but now I'm just scared.

[Di]

Golfwidow - I'm with you.

If I were to go thru the extreme trouble of reaching for a knife, sitting patiently till the man was either passed out cold or dead, I'd be sure not to let the police know where to find it! That takes all the fun out of "Where's Willy"!

[julietine]

horned,

be afraid..very afraid!....just kidding!....

[Bangi_Sizzles]

Julie-- so u didnt get the memo either huh?
*hides memo*
me neither

[horned frog]

anyone got any gold-bond powder? my chain-mail jockstrap is starting to chafe.
And rust.

[akgirl]

Nothing says let's get back together like cutting off one's penis. I wonder at what point this women thought if I cut off his penis he might want to get back together.

I had a long lay over in Anchorage last night, and I was enjoying a beer when this news report came on TV, I swear every man in the bar grabbed his crotch and said ouch, while they were reporting this newscast. The population of men to women in Alaska is very large, about 14 men to every women. Most of the time when a women is in public they get hit on alot. Not the case last night.

[julietine]

Alaska,

Here I come!!!

[akgirl]

I don't know this for sure, because I am not a man, but a knife on my penis is a little more than kinky sex. If only his hands were tied why didn't he kick her in the head? At what point is having your penis cut off a little overboard for S&M?..... **wondering**

[akgirl]

Julietine:
Your not missing much. The women that live in Alaska have a favorite saying about our men....
Your odds are good, but your goods are odd....

[Christobol]

akgirl - I heard the saying was "Your odds are good, but a lot of them have had their penises lopped off."

[julietine]

akgirl,

Ha,ha!!!

[gfunksizzle]

Is there any worse job than being the utility worker that had to chase the penis through the sewer? I mean, my god.

[matt neffer]

I have always planned to retire in Alaska and I look at the bright side: The odds of finding a date went up when she cut the competition.

[akgirl]

yah christobol,
lol
it is a requirement before i go on a date....

akgirl "ok before we go to the movies drop your pants I want to make sure the goods are still attached..."

date "damn i was hoping you would be different. i hope you don't mind knife scars."

akgirl "nice, i see the organ transplant took. did you order that the same place you order brains from?"

date "yah, nice huh. i ordered a bigger version this time.

[Christobol]

gfunk - there's always his assistant.

[assistant utility worker]

It ain't all glory, you know. Sometimes we go WEEKS between severed-peter hunts.

[slyeyes]

So many things wrong with this. For starters:

1. Having sex after a knock down drag out fight over breaking up.

2. Allowing yourself to be tied up by the person who just wished you would rot in hell.

3. Obviously a low-flow toilet if it didn't flush away.

He was obviously thinking with his dick. Won't be doing that anymore.

[Eleanor]

sly - you are exceptionally hilarious today - I am following you on all the MB's - keep up the good work - I have nothing to do except watch the rain!

[semicolon]

The local newspaper is running a contest to find the most appropriate retaliation for the guy when he gets out of the hospital and she gets out of jail. My own entry involves superglue.

[George Spiggot]

A friend in Anchorage who works with the police emailed me some details from local papers. Apparently the girlfriend is from Southeast Asia, (her name is Kim Tran) where this kind of retaliation is not uncommon enough.

[George Spiggot]

I don't know how to post a link here, but if you go to the KTUU (Anchorage) website, it gives additional details -- such as such "tampered with the evidence"

[Jeff Meyerson]

George S.: That explains a lot and should have sent up a huge RED FLAG if this moron wasn't thinking with his dick, as sly said.

Clearly had he been reading this blog he would have known about the rash (sorry) of Thai penis-severings and would have planned accordingly.

What a dick. Well, maybe not anymore.

[George Spiggot]

Even better: this was a love trangle with a difference. The guy was with her aunt, and the three lived in the same house. Tran speaks only Vietnamese and they are waiting for translators to learn more.

[elizabeth8]

ANY man should know, if he has a penis, and would like to keep it attached to his body, that he should NEVER agree to be tied up by a woman under any circumstances. The temptation is just too great. :)

[jamester]

I hereby promise never to break up with anyone ever again.

[julietine]

Jamester,

you do good..I understand now why guys do not like to break up with their gf..instead they just dissapear without explanation...not that it has ever happened to me...

**goes to have some tequila to forget her broken heart**

[opiesgirl]

Utility workers recovered the severed body part and surgeons reattached it.
After where they found it I hope they santized it before reattching it. Also wouldn't the guy get totally grossed out just knowing where his penis has been?

[Layla]

I wonder if the utility workers were male and, if so, whether they had to undergo counseling.

julietine, let's take the tequila to Alaska.

[julietine]

Layla,

Let's!

[insomniac]

("The Letter")

[insomniac]

see the next thread up (and shame on me for having too many windows open)

[Robert]

I suspect if she'd gotten a long lay like akgirl this wouldn't have happened.

[squidia]

Notice how the woman still cleaned up after herself. Jeez!

[jenn]

wondered why a man would want it back after it had been flushed. polled men in office all said yes they'd want it back. polled women. they all said not a snowball's chance in you know where would they do it with a part that's been flushed. i suppose there is a lesson in that somewhere?!