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January 20, 2005


It keeps us up-to-date on important technology.


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"Tater Dolls" wbagnfab.

Oi! I'm going to have to retire just to keep up with the blog today!

...It came to him in a dream?...

Was that a real article???...It is hard to believe it

Tamara: You retire and I'll put my kids up for adoption. This is too fun.

Darth Tater makes for a good name but R2D2 is more potato shaped.

An electronic squid head massager AND Darth Tater?

BRB... Gotta take the VISA card out of the freezer and defrost it.

Good to know that crackpots will eventually remove themselves from the gene pool eventually.

I remember in high school hearing the phrase "gene pool" and thinking I was missing out on something famous -that Gene guy is lucky - he's got a pool that everyone knows about... that must be an AWESOME pool - everyone just refers to it as THE gene pool!

And I wanna Darth Tater!

Oh, and one more thing:
What do you get when you combine a "scientist" named Hurtubise, a "professor" named Dryfoos, the country of France and a "eight foot long device"?

You get a Pink Panther movie!!

That's quite a piece of equipment the man has in his photo of the seeing-through-walls thing.

That's quite a piece of equipment the man has in his photo of the seeing-through-walls thing. And quite rampart-like.

"Darth Tater" reminds me of the first time my wife made potato pancakes.

And on the angel light topic:
"I have an idea! I'll take this device that I invented that can see through SOLID OBJECTS and point it AT MY ARM! What harm can come of that?"

"'Tis but a flesh wound."


I know! Why wasn't the government all over him? Why isn't he using his device to become the next Evil Bill Gates? Why did he give the device such a stupid name?

But, most importantly...

Why did he think it was a safe device to play with? "Wow, I have no idea what I'm doing, this thing helps me see through walls, this type of thing is completely undocumented scientifically, but HEY WHAT A GREAT TOY!"

Great deal with the angel light. It's hard enough to tell the 'first responders' from the neighborhood pervs the way it is now....

"Dad, you know how you told me that I don't need those fancy, expensive action figures marketed with the new Star Wars episodes?"

"Yes, son."

"And how, with my imagination, I could use toys we already have, like Jenny's barbie and that Darth Tater you brought me from Burger King, and soon other kids would be jealous of me and want to borrow my toys, and they'd beg me to teach them how to play?"

"That's right, because while their imaginations were crushed by giant corporations who manufacture toys with such detail a child has no room to create, you'll have kept your brain sharp by playing with leftover crap and freebies. Did it work?"

"Not really. And I could use some help getting this Darth Tater out of my ass."

good news: we can know see earthquake victims buried under rubble!
bad news: the Angel Light kills them.

good news: you can peek at your shapely neighbor through her walls
bad news: (see above) also the resulting neighborhood-wide blackout 'may' be a 'dead' giveaway.

Sorry for the obscure reference, but somebody's gotta stop this guy before he slips, bangs his head, and invents the flux capacitor.

Hurtubise also said "Only with the assistance of copious amounts of alcohol (and Dave, for you) large Government Grants could this dream and my statements be possible."

Bill, what's so obscure about your reference? But the angel light does lend credence to "You are my density"...


That was too funny!

He'll only need 1.21 jigawatts to get that robot's oscillation overthruster running again.

Considering the size and shape of his invention and how Mr. Hurtubise is standing when the picture is taken, you don't suppose he is over-compensating for something?

Paging Dr. Freud . . .

Another crackpot "who asked that his name not be used," contains the Angel Light’s brains and includes black, white, red and fluorescent light sources, as well as seven industrial lasers.

"The second unit, or the deflector grid, contains a large circle of *optical glass, a *microwave unit and *plasma intermixed with *carbon dioxide."

This will allow the user to keep his neighbor under his watch, his popcorn hot, his blood flowing and his beer from going flat. But call now. When this product is gone, the FRENCH SHOPPING NETWORK will not offer it again! (Unless it is displayed with the official French National WHITE FLAG! WEE WEE in Paree!

Being able to see through walls will help the French see attackers sooner, enabling them to surrender faster!

The Hurtubise put his hand in the light beam.


Not one to be content with the she-pee, THE HURTUBISE tried his own modified toilet. When it created problems with his wife, THE HURTUBISE informed the Saudi Intelligence agent in France. They checked all their charts and found Bourdeaux, but no solution to wife problems. He was refered to the MIT School of Fraternities Study. “MIT told me every time I turned it on there must have been splash-back hitting me,” Hurtubise said.

Does Hurtubise rhyme with Hubris?

i think i know why Marie doesn't post much :)
*waves to Marie*

"I almost broke my knuckles three or four times, because it was almost like you could step through the wall," Hurtubise said.

How could he mistakely try to step through a wall that is 8 feet away? And how come his wife's car didn't stop working after he saw the salt on the license plate?

This is a joke, right??????

Here we go, once again Dave Barry and the Bloggers, bringing a huge public service to the masses! I have been plagued by those pesky bear encounters over the years, they come at me when I least expect it. I've been locked in my home, peaking out from behind closed blinds, fearing to poke even one toe out of the door...if I had only known there was a suit out there to protect me... Oh, JOY!!! My life is forever changed by the clicking of a simple link!!! Thank you Dave, thank you bloggers, and most of all, thank you TROY for the bear encounter protector suit thingy!

I wonder...are those people contacting him REALLY French government officials???...I am surprised as the french tend to be very skeptical of things like this...

The see-through-walls device is cool, but call me when he perfects the see-through-women's-clothes thingy. I'll be ready!

PARIS-FRANCE: The French Elite Frogman Brigade was forced to surrender after several fierce minutes of prancing about today when it became apparent that their enemies were not, in fact, bears.

"We are very disappointed, of course," said a despondant General Francois Buttergroin. "We really were looking forward to this battle very much, with manly ebulliance I must say, but, as you can see, the enemy is a number of fierce bunnies and what looks like it could be a garden gnome. Our suits are powerless against such foes."

Terms of the surrender were not entirely clear, but soldiers were seen dancing naked, singing "Frere Bunny" and serving champaigne and carrots to their new overlords.

Sure he can see through walls as if they aren't there; in order to fit that thing in a room, the walls have to be knocked down. Duh!

That was great Capt'n P ...

But Stars Wars came out in 1977.

Geez, the last I heard of Troy, he'd gone bankrupt and the bank had confiscated the bear figthing suit. If you wanted to interview him on tv, you had to pay him a whole bunch of money so he could get his suit out of lockup. Now he's somehow found the money to build a see-through walls device? Further evidence that the winters in Canada are just toooo long.

I'm notifying PETA. It's one thing to wantonly destroy expensive new radio controlled aircraft, but when Hurtubise aimed his (unlicensed) god ray at a defenseless pool of goldfish, well, he crossed the line.


Hey, folks, great posts! But there's not quite enough French-bashing going on here. It is the duty of every proud American to remind the rest of us how repugnant the French are. I mean, besides giving us the Statue of Liberty, helping us not get our ass kicked by a superior British force in the Revolutionary War, and providing the philosophical framework for the Enlightenment, thereby igniting our spark of freedom, liberty, and democracy... what have the French done for us lately?

Well, first of all, they surrendered to the Germans in WWII. We had to bail them out for that one. Sure, they might complain that had we not been so isolationist during Hitler's forays into other European countries, the Nazis may never have made it to France. And they might point out that most of their fighting-age men had been wiped out in WWI. But that's just surrender-monkey talk for ya.

Then of course there is their notorious penchant for being snobby and rude to American tourists, which is so undeserved, considering that American tourists are the most thoughtful people when it comes to the customs and culture of others.

Finally, there's their obstinant opposition to our military foray into Iraq. Time is proving them to be so wrong about that whole "quagmire" business.

Lousy French and their stinky cheese and stinky armpits!

"Radical" Russ Belville (or Belleville, as my French Huegonaut ancestors spelled it...)

yeah - they spelled it "Belleville" until their new overlords told them to change it!

Ok Russ... but we got the French to buy into EuroDisney and now this, so it's like one big practical joke. The Suez crisis, Vietnam and Middle East policy are just the punch line. We're old friends and allies all the way back to when the French would use any excuse to thumb their noses at the British 200 years ago. Don't think its just us playing the jokes either. It was a real knee slapper when we finally got the Statue of Liberty assembled and she let out that enormous fart. Whooweee.... No Francophobia here.

Hey - French cheese is really good! And you can't beat the Brits for snobbery and uppercrustiness. Even if they are currently allies. Although we hated them during the whole Boston Tea Thing....

Isn't this the guy that invented a metal suit of armour you could wrestle a bear in?

Lab-by Baby: 10 pts off for not reading through the text first! That cheese product is made in Australia! Sheesh!

Well, Kraft is American, so I took some liberties.

Mmmm... canned cheese product! Goes great with canned frog!

Russ: How 'bout Coup Bevil?

Which overlord? Goodness man, do you think I'm on a Cray here? I googled "French Surrenders involving respelling the name Belleville" and came up with 43000 hits!

Oh, did you know that Jean Belleville twice surrendered to himself, and once threw himself on the mercy of a mildly retarded chimp (I know, because she was my Great X7 gramma)? Don't know if that was your Great X7 Gramps, though.


Look out C-bol ... you wouldn't want to be "taunted" a second time.

I'm more inclined to beleive the article above than the claims of 'Radical Russ'. What a dork.

I do have one question though - if MIT was giving the frenchy pieces of the same stuff that makes up our stealth *whatevers* to find out a way to Un -Stealth them, wouldn't they get in, oh I don't know... maybe just a WEE bit of trouble?!?!?!?!

Oooo... 2 questions (sorry!) Isn't Julietine from France??!?!?! If she is, how come it is 'Radical Russ' (whose family obviously hated France enough to leave it back in the 1700's to move HERE!!!) that is getting his panties in a twist over some comments made on a Humor Columnists blog?

And I mean Dork in the most loving and Blogeriffic way possible.

*snork* Coup Bevil! *snork*

Just - I'm so happy to see you crack yourself up.

Bill:With all this heavy winter clothing,I have so many pockets ! I don't have the time to search all of them for the birthday card for Nancy!

Ted::(sotto voce) Lard-ass.

B:: What?

T:: I said, Bill, you should see the Light, the Angel Light, that is!

B: What's that 8 foot long tube you're aiming at me?

T: Hold still, Bill, or the folks at the airport will be all in my face again.

(humming sound, like a hundred microwaves set on 'Stun')
T: There, Nancy's birthday card is in your left rear pants pocket.

B; I don't feel too good, and my wallet's melted,... (taking 'inventory') my genitals are gone !!!

T: Ha,ha, from what Nancy told me, they weren't much use anyway!

B: (dissolving into a puddle) brmble, flarble, krelb.

T: You said it, Bill !

LabSpec' -
No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church door, but 'tis enough, 'twill serve ...
Ask for me tomorrow, and you will find me a grave man ...


And shucks, here I thot we'd see a box of that epitome of American ingenuity and quality on the palate ...


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