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January 24, 2005

WHEN IT'S COLD OUTSIDE...

You might as well use your computer to be productive.

(Thanks to Ian Woollard)

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*wraps Sharon's Snickers™ in toasted brown paper facial hair*

Why do I feel slightly singed in the lower portion of my face?

*toasts Snickers* I'll bet these would be good with marshmallows.

*Waves slice of toast under Sharon's breath*

*milky ways*

*tackles*

Now I want a Snickers bar - and I just took off my bra so I can't' go out and get one. :(

Are you all insinuating something with this whole "dragon breath" thing that keeps coming up? HM??

*papers milky way with toasted brown facial breath*

Psst! Cookie! Wear a coat or a baggy sweatshirt. No one will know the difference.

*drags in (har!) marshmallows, insinuating milky facial to treat Sharon's toast breath*

pssst, I do not know what that means

OOOOOoooo, look what the Kat(thy) dragged in!!

*snatches a marshmallow*

*ducks under the covers*

's cold.

insinuating milky facial
pssst, I DO know what that means!


*reads what she just wrote*
*shakes head ruefully*

I need a date.

*writes personal ad*

DWF, 40yo, D/D free, seeks male companionship. Must like facial hair.

*SNORK* @ neo!

Okay, my brit lit class now thinks I'm completely certifiable. Today we started discussing Chaucer, and we were discussing The Miller's Tale. I had my book open, and I glanced down at the page and these words jumped out at me...

"Teehee" quod she.

And my FIRST thought was, "TEE HEE, Chaucer said 'teehee'!!!"

And I choked on the biggest snork in the history of all snorkdom. And I couldn't even explain to my class what was so dang funny!

I nearly fell off the raised platform, tho.

BWAHAHA!!! Neo, would you believe that I didn't even notice the pervy potential of that until you pointed it out?

No, didn't think so.

But I didn't.

*snork*

Sharon,

TEEHEE!

OOO, KDF! You just quoted Chaucer!

IN THE ORIGINAL MIDDLE ENGLISH!!

*is in awe*

*is in New England*

Awe? The heck with awe! Where's my gold star??

*presents neo with razor, wrapped in toasted ducks*

Razors won't work, KDF....I used permanent ink!!

Bwahahahahahaaaaa......!

*sticks a gold star on KDF's ducky toaster wrapped in milky marshmallow hair*

Okay...now that sounded wrong even to ME.

*bites into toasted duck*

OWWW!

Sharon?

Sharon?

Sharon appears to be asleep.

Imagine that.

*Rubs hands with Glee*

*stealthily removes Sharon's boots and replaces them with soft, comfy, fluffy bunny slippers*

I think I need to work on my revenge techniques.

I just got an email from my brother in Thailand. It sounds like he's doing well and eating a lot of new things (including coconut and pineapple, which he wouldn't even touch before) He writes that two of his housemates:

had to go to Ubon for a leadership meeting and on the way back they picked up a back of fried scorpions, which I ate. They were those big black scorpions that most people think of when they think of scorpions, and they cook the whole thing. You break the tip of the tail off, and then take a big bite out of it, exoskeleton and everything. They weren't bad, but they weren't great, and they din't digest well at all. Also last night he made me eat something that he told me was rat after I ate it, but when I asked him what it really was he wouldn't tell me.

I think his Thai must be improving; his english is slipping.

My internet access (and phone) has been spotty the past couple of weeks and I think I'm going to call BYU to complain about the management and their handling of the situation. School's keeping me super busy, but I've completed a semester (YAY!!) and I think I'll finish this one too (double YAY!!!) *crosses fingers* but I'm having trouble with the depression again/still. I don't know yet what I'll do about it, but maybe it will go away on its own (not likely) What I really need is a close friend here in Provo, and I don't have one.
I do have plenty to keep me busy, and an infection to keep me up at night
(YAY! for antibiotics that should work within a week so I can sleep again!!!)
(((Kilties)))

*leaves piles of pillows, blankets, and cookies for the sleeping kilties*

SarahJ- I was just trying to get some of that kind of food today. I doubt anyone expected me to want it, so they told me, "We are closed."
Kind of sad. I want some Squid Jerky. And that scorpion stuff sounds great.

Rat that is eaten is usually not the rat we think of. They take care of the rats so that they are healthy. The same with dogs. If you see them, you would realize that they where, "Food Animals".
It has made me wonder what pig and cow look like naturally.

zzzzzz........

.....zzzzz.......zzzzzzz.......*snort*....
....zzzzz...zzzz......*snorgle*.....zzzz.....
zzzzzz....*droooooooooooooool*.....zzzzzz...
...........

..........*****

[the sleeper abruptly awakes]

*poink!*

*blink blink*

*looks down at feet*

......aaaaAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

WHO STOLE THE SEAT OF ALL MY POWER AND REPLACED THEM WITH FUZZY BUNNY SLIPPERS???

ooOOOoo....comfy tho.

And...um....neo....you have Glee all over your hands.

Ew.

Sharon has not seat!!!

{{sarah!!}}

Nice to see you, and *SNORK!* at your brother's introduction to haute cuisine.

Awww....fuzzy bunny slippers and cookies! You guys really know how to bring out a dragon's soft side.

*munch munch munch*

*snuggles*

*snoozes*

*dreams of what it would be like to have no seat....*

Bunny-Slippered Dragons WBAGNFA... FA ..... um, lounge act?

Welcome back, Sarah, sister of the scorpion eater. (Now there's a GNFARB!)

*Hands Neo a bottle of new, improved, fat-free, low-sodium, high-fiber, low-carb, hypoallergenic, non-stick, polyunsaturated, NoGlee™ with scrubbing bubbles and non-dolphin-harmingly extracted omega-3 oils*

*zips in*
DOLPHINS? Did someone say dolphins??

Blue, a RB with that name could probably bring back grunge. ;)

Wild pigs are not nice animals, and have sharp tusks, but they can't climb so it's easy to get out of their way, unlike mountain lions (I'm really not sure how I managed to get away from that one, mostly I just remember backing away slowly from the eyes glowing in the beam of my flashlight)

Wild cattle I'm not as familiar with, although I have heard a couple of theories as to why we don't see them anymore:
THEORY A- They were killed off because of their continual devastating raids on farmers' pasture weeds.
THEORY B- They hatched a cow-brained scheme to get organized and formed the group "Bovines for Easily Eaten Food" (BEEF)

*takes Sharon's seat*

I love to make people's dreams come true.

*takes Sharon's seat*

I love to make people's dreams come true.

It seems I REALLY like to make dreams come true.

But seriously, speaking of dreams coming true, dd I tell you that I'm trying this on-line dating thing? But I'm scared to death a little nervous. I finally took a picture to go with my profile. Could you guys please give me your honest opinion? I don't want to look too slutty, but I DID want to dress up a little. So, here I am.

*tries to control eyeballs*

neo darlin, a good stylist could do wonders!

(got to love that hat, though;)

It seems you make nightmares come true, too, Neo.

(*SNORK!*)

And I think the last of the wild cattle disappeared when the Robotic Cow Of Doom™ showed up. (Long time Kilties will understand).

*snork* @ Sarah J

Woo! Blue simul.

*fans self (not Self)*

Oh, how I wish I didn't have to don my Boots 'o Power (tm thingie)™ and could stay at home in my comfy fuzzy bunny slippers today.

It's starting to piss me off how much work cuts into my free time, ya know?

pssst...cyn lost the remote for her eyeballs again! They're outta control...!!

neo, I think the pic is perfect. I'm sure you will only attract losers upscale, highly educated guys. :)

Random remark of the day: I cleaned out my concealer brush with eye-makeup remover and it worked so much better today. I was amazed!

Yesterday we were playing "Loaded Questions" without the actual game (that you buy in a box) and made up the questions ourselves, but it was way too easy to guess mine. (the game goes like this- one person asks a question like "what's your favorite song," everyone writes his/her answer down on a piece of paper with his/her name on it, someone collects papers, reads answers, question asker matches answer to person) I'm so predictable! Everyone just said, "hm, never heard of that before, must be Sarah's" and guessed right, but the questions weren't fair to my tastes. Example: my favorite song is Bach's first Unaccompanied Cello Suite in G Major, BWV 1007. Definitely different from Sexy Back, or whatever else people put.

neo, I think you look fabulous.

Tiny quibble: You might want to consider a chest wax. Just, you know, before bikini season. :)

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwww!

*gags at chest wax for bikini season*

Now now, KDF...I'm sure there are men out there who would just flip for that...that...um...hirsute look.

*surreptitiously joins sarah in a gag and hopes no one notices*

Hey, you two, be nice. We love neo hairy or clean-shaven exactly as she is. :)

Sexy Back? Is that referring to our hirsute Neo too?

Hmmm...I'm sitting here at the Student Success Center waiting for my next appointment and watching through the window as lots and lots of snow joins the already fairly high piles of snow still hanging around from the last storm.

*suddenly thinks that a little chest hair for warmth and insulation might not be a bad thing*

The Student Success Center. Is it named that for positive reinforcement? Serious question.

Yes, I think that's part of it. We have lots of services here to HELP studens succeed in college as well...the campus Writing Lab, the Learning Center, Academic Retention Services, the Career Center, and lots of advisors. All of these services are paid for by student fees and tuition, so students can come here for "free" help whenever they need it.

I've been working here for many years now, and I've really seen how this place helps students. It's a great place. I'm assistant to the director of the Writing Lab, and I tutor undergrads, graduate students, and international graduate students with English as a second language. VERY challenging, but I love it.

Sheesh! The blog thought I was a robot TWICE!!

And it made me giggle that one of the "codes" it wanted me to enter ended in "tck".

Shows how infamous (notorious?) our Toto is!

OH...and I also forgot to mention a license plate I saw the other day: 666 SSA.

Hmmmmm.......

Sharon, the devil made them do it. ;)

*snorks @ Cookie!*

Laugh it up, Mephistopheles...!

*also *snorks* @ Cookie*

♪♫♪ A dragon! A dragon! I swear I saw a dragon! ♪♫♪

Hmmm....no posts.

It's not my dragon-breath, is it?

*experiences student success*

*SNORK!!!*

Our timing is impeccable, sistah and little sistahchen.

Indeed. :-)

Molly Ivins, RIP

*sniff*

*moment of silence*

*hugs Sharon*

I just read your post over on the DB4P message board. And Rayne's.

This is so sad.

*hugs Cookie*

Thanks, my friend.

*is still sniffling*

OK, unscientific parent-type poll (parents, non-parents, future parents, and anyone else - please feel free to express an opinion)

my 8 year old daughter just informed me, in all seriousness, that she knows how to pee standing up, just like a boy

she's quite proud of this in fact...

should i:

(a) be proud and leave it be?

(b) pursue this issue further by askin for an explanation

(c) refer the issue to her mother?

(d) do what i did, which is smile an say: "oh, good fer you monkey"

a)

and

d)

ok, let me explain

when, oh, for example, you're out on the side of the road, or alongside a ditch, craWfishin, and nature, along with the several beers liquid thirst quenchers you've had previously, calls, well, a gal's gotta do what a gal's gotta do. and it's actually more of a "squat" type maneuver, but you get my drift here, right?

and this is all secondhand information, btw...

As a mother, I'd say a and d.

But as a female, my curiosity is piqued, so b. Find out and then let me know.

OK, i'll admit that i was curious too

and i was tempted to ask....

but then i decided to play it safe

neo...great moms...uh, minds...;)

Aunt Bea says B b/c Aunt Bea agrees with neo; is curious.

In other news, I'm watching the men's US figure skating championships. It's not new; it's been in my tivo for a week or two. But I haven't bothered to look up who won; I'm going for the surprise. I hope Evan Lysacek flattened that rat-faced ill-dressed ass Johnny Weir.

I can't believe the spambot let me get away with "ass."

I agree with everyone, because I'm in a go along to get along mood tonight. :)

I say "C".

Not because I actually believe that, but because that's the only choice no one's picked yet, and I don't want to be a sheep.

:p

Baa, baa.

I have a friend who claims that as a drunk teenager she learned to effectively use a soda straw as toilet aid, IYKWIM. I still have a hard time believing it.

Wait, I don't mean I have a hard time believing that she'd try it. I know from experience that drunk teenagers will try just about anything. But come on. Drunk men can't hit the toilet, yet she expects me to believe that a drunk woman peeing through a straw can hit the target?

Erm...I just read my own post in the context of Cookie's, and realized that what I said could be misconstrued.

pssst...Cookie...I wasn't calling you a sheep! I was just making a joke. :)

Since we are talking about things one does in the bathroom, I thought I'd let you know that I've found a new shaving cream. I'm sending the bill to you, Sharon.

Can't talk, neo....to busy admiring my soft, comfy, fuzzy bunny slippers.

*wiggles toes*

*watches bunny ears go flap flap flap!*

*sighs contentedly*

Sharon
No worries, I could tell it was a joke. ;)

*zips out*

I think I'm sick. I've eaten an entire package of brussel sprouts. Not the small box, but the big sack.
I'm going to bed.

YES!!!! Evan Lysacek kicked Johnny Weir's cocky, conceited self into next week @ nationals. He had a near perfect performance. My tivo cut off the end of Johnny's program, but I saw enough to know he wouldn't win. He skipped his quad and a couple of combination jumps, then fell on a single jump.

It speaks of how much I loathe Johnny Weir that I cheered when I saw him fall. I always cringe when I see a skater fall, nice or jerk. I'm going to see Stars on Ice in Columbus with my sister this weekend. Can't wait to see Jamie Salé and David Pelletier skating live. They're not jerks, and they're awesome skaters. Yay!

Night, kilties!

*snuggles into bed with a sigh of Evan-induced contentment*

Molly died?

Sh!t!!!

bumble - i saw sale' and pelletier as well as their co-gold-medalists when they went on tour after the olympics.

ssa- this is my granddaughter's latest favorite to have read to her...

When I was a kid I thought the movie was named Peach Dragon. It never made sense to me any other way. I thought the kid was named David.

Sorry not much comenting from me. I have been walking to do chores after work. I soon just end up sleeping all day. I need to get some homework done though. So enough of this slacking off.
Time for some other slacking off.

*Kicks work filter for not allowing access to DB4P message board*

Alfred~ My first cousin once removed is on a soccer team out in California called the Peach Dragons. :-)

YOUCHIE!!

Nope...still not lettin' ya in!

informal, non-scientific poll:

it's currently snowing horizontally

is this:

a) an undisputable sign of the apocalypse

b) a sign that i really need to cut back on the caffiene

c) a really good excuse to quit for the day and go home

d) all of the above

well, maybe not a)...

{{{All Kilties}}}

I'm off to Ohio! Ttyl. Hopefully with my sweet Engelchen bouncing on my knee. :-)

*skips out to the car*

E) a sign that you drank so much that you've forgotten that you're actually lying down?

If you stand up, all will be back to normal. Trust me.

:p

hey!

i stopped drinkin a coupla hours ago!

not cuz i wanted to, mind you, but the boss is kinda funny about that sorta thing

have fun, bumble!

sharon, is that really possible?

*she asks innocently*

informal, non-scientific poll:

if a bumble leaves the kilt at 1:03 p.m. blog time, traveling at a very safe 68 mph in a honda, her first stop will be for:

a) beer and doritos
b) to brake for a puppy or some such other small furry critter crossin the road
c) there never seems to be a c for some reason
d) lottery tickets
e) arrival at destination

Clearly, the correct Bumble answer is (b), and that's what makes Bumble Bumble. :)

i agree, cookie.

*wonders what's up with all the informal, non-scientific polls*

psssssst - don't tell anyone darlin, but i'm gatherin information in order to finalize my plan for taking over the world

pssst Toto, can I be your Chief of Staff?? Huh? Huh? Can I?

you want to be chief of staff?

sure El - you can be chief of staff

so, um, does the chief of staff actually hire the staff?

*rises above her baser instincts and does not comment upon Tarragon's staff*


*but she still leers a little*

*is suddenly wonderin what the chief of staff actually does*

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