WHEN IT'S COLD OUTSIDE...

You might as well use your computer to be productive.

(Thanks to Ian Woollard)

Comments

[Cookie]

That's the best thing about being Jewish. We don't believe in hell. Everyone goes to heaven, except Hitler. :)

[Bumble]

*catches sock 'o nickels and wings it back to s-girl*

Marty: You're going to be a long while in purgatory, you will.

Angelo: Well, I'll be with friends.

Name that film!

[Bumble]

Cookie~ And Mel?

[southerngirl]

*catches sock 'o nickels and wings it at coast*

That was the part I got, Coast. But the thumb-to-the-forehead deal went right by me.

yeah, blue, me too.

and...*SNORK* at bumble!

[southerngirl]

ok, who's the wise guy (or gal) with the new bagel poll?!?

[sharon share-alike]

Thank you, Blue...I didn't exactly wake up screaming, but I think I shrieked like a girly girl when I awoke. One of the incredibly frustrating ironies of insommnia is that you can't sleep...so when you actually DO manage to fall asleep, you tend to OVERsleep. So when I saw that I had only 40 minutes to get to my first class, well....my response may have been a tad shrill.

*adds voice of disbelief to the "s-girl's never eaten a bagel??" chorus*

{{Coast!}} Good to see you...missed you.

And I got the "thumb to the forehead" thing. We used to do that, too.

[southerngirl]

i'm glad you people find me so amusing. ;)

[Bumble]

Shocking, rather. All of us know the joy of a bagel. We're appalled that you don't. :-)

[sharon share-alike]

It's strange....it's like someone saying, "I've never eaten pasta" or "I've never eaten lettuce," or maybe, "I've never gotten naked and danced in a meadow under the full moon."

.....What? You guys don't do that as often as you eat bagels??

[southerngirl]

oh yeah?

well...

eat my crawfish! ;)

[sharon share-alike]

*snork*

Wow...you created quite a stir there, southern sistah! Let's see...I wonder if I have anything comparable...?

OH!

I've never eaten a Twinkie.

Feel better?

[southerngirl]

*feels sharon*

yep, i feel just fine! ;)

*bravely admits that she's never eaten a twinkie, either*

*wonders why that sounds pervy*

[Cookie]

You've never eaten a Twinkie??? In your whole life??? Even when you were a child??? Not even deep fried??? How could that be???

I personally prefer DingDongs and HoHos (chocolate of course!) but I have been known to eat a Twinkie.

*wonders if we need a Twinkie poll* ;)

[sharon share-alike]

WOOP!

I'se just been felt!

No, Cookie...never in my whole life have I ever eaten a Twinkie (yes, that sounds very pervie), a DingDong (okay, that's even pervier) or a HoHo (we're not EVEN going to go there).

A Twinkie poll? As in....poll your Twinkie??

[Bumble]

I've eaten Twinkies a couple of times, but I'm not a big fan. I'd rather have these. They are by far my favorite snack cake. But these are a close second, and I didn't get any this year.

*pouts*

[southerngirl]

sorry guys, i've never had any of those things.

and i don't feel at all deprived. ;)

[southerngirl]

so does this mean that you're the culprit behind the "bagel poll", cookie, hmmmm? ;)

[Alfred]

When I hung out with skateboarders, twinkies where food. They where on the basic food groups. Two ho hos equaled a twinky.
When Whipped cream and crackers where also used. I eventually caught on that my friends where not smoking tobaco.

[Bumble]

ARGH! YOU MUST EAT A ZINGER ON THE DOUBLE! AND A BAGEL! But I will not eat a craWfish. Just sayin. ;-)

[Cookie]

I forgot about Zingers Bumble, they are the best.

Sorry, s'girl, I can't hear what you're saying, I have a Twinkie in my ear. ;)

[southerngirl]

bumble: i don't eat sweets. i don't drink soft drinks, either, so go on...make fun of me some more...

*sniff*

;P

[Bumble]

I don't drink soda much; I usually stick with water. But I'm a total sweets addict. And I'm not making fun of you; I'm just shocked and dismayed. :-O

[Alfred]

I have always feared going to BYU. I feared that I would need to go to the seedy part of town to get Dr.Pepper.
Then I realized that the seedy part of town, would still be way more Utahrdian then I am.

[Alfred]

Ado

The best part about this one is that it is controlled by an XBox controller.

[OtheU(manity)]

That quote is, I believe, from the film which earned Ernie his Oscar™ ... right, Bumble?

Whattayoo wanna do tonight, Marty?

I dunno. Whattayoo wanna do?

I dunno. Whattayoo wanna do?

Now, without googling, name the author of the play on which that film wuz based ...

[Bumble]

Sorry Uncle O; I dunno what you're talking about. That quote is from the movie Return to Me. Very good. Very funny. And David Duchovny is hawt.

[OtheU(manity)]

Wowser!

Same script lines ... different movies ... how 'bout that?

Well ... same characters, NEway ... sayin' the same stuff ...

[insomniac]

u.o - paddy chayefsky...

[ASK]

I can't believe I just read an entire day's polylogue about bagels.

[sharon share-alike]

Oh, come on, ASK.....we talked about Twinkies, too!

[ASK]

*hey Sharon, is polylogue really a word? I just liked the way it sounded.*

[Bumble]

*tackles ASK*

*stuffs a bagel in his mouth*

*giggles mischievously*

[sharon share-alike]

Well, sort of...it's a jargon word made up by a French literary critic. But people do use it!

[OtheU(manity)]

Very good, insom' ... I'd've guessed Clifford Odets or Arthur Miller ...

(HAR!)

[ASK]

I just kinda made it up, but figured somebody else already had.

[southerngirl]

hey guys!

[ASK]

hey sunny!

[sharon share-alike]

Itsa good word....I like it.

*gropes s-girl*

just 'cuz

[southerngirl]

*feels sunny and groped*

*grins*

[KDF]

*is blinded by the beautiful light*

*snags and snarfs a flying bagel*

[neophyte]

Snag and Snarf and the Flying Bagels wbagnfa children's book. Or a juggling clown act.

(not that they'd juggle clowns, as such... oh never mind!)

[ASK, the CD]

Night, kilties!

[neophyte]

First assignment completed and turned in! But NOW I notice the comma where the colon should be.

*rolls eyes* Ow. *rolls into bed instead* Night!

[KDF]

Yayyy Neo!!!

[southerngirl]

Yayyy neo!!!

Yayyy KDF!!!

Yayyy all kilties!!!

it's friday, ya know...pantless friday...

[Meanie the Blue]

I wish it were workless Friday, but pantsless will have to do.

*Loves S-Girl a bagel zinger twinkie gift certificate.*

[neophyte mbe lp]

Sorry; I need to vent, and my blog isn't working. Just skip this is you don't like long rant-y posts.

The ex keeps the kids on Thursday nights. I don't work on Fridays. That means I can stay up late working on homework and then sleep in on Fridays. Yay!

This morning at 7:00, the phone rang. It was my ex. Son needs clean jeans. Hmmm, I think, the kids are supposed to have clean clothes at the ex's house. But whatever; I go to get clean jeans.

Both boys wear the same size, and are still wearing the same size as last spring, so they each have at least a couple of pairs left from last year. (The ONLY advantage to wearing those awful, baggy, slouchy jeans is that because they are so big, they fit for a long time. Oh, and they look "cool" if you happen to be 12 or 13.) Last fall I bought each boy three new pairs of jeans. In October, I bought another pair. Just before Christmas I bought each boy another two pairs of jeans. I week ago, I bought yet one more pair of jeans. That adds up to each kid owning at LEAST 7 or 8 pairs of jeans, enough to keep some here and some at dad's house.

So I go to the boys' drawers. No jeans. Not surprising; the kids are responsible for putting away their own laundry, but they don't. I look in the clean clothes basket. No jeans. I look in the dirty clothes hamper. No jeans. I search their rooms for dirty clothes: only one pair of dirty jeans in each room.

WTF? Where are all the clothes going?! I can only account for 5 pairs of jeans. Where are the other 9 or 10 pairs? I thought the clothes were all going to die at the ex's house, but he swears they aren't there. I know they aren't here, at least not in the normal places.

The ex just showed up, furious, to get clothes for the kids. I don't have them. My solution would be to put the son in the jeans he wore yesterday and we'll deal with it this weekend. My ex's solution is that in "punishment" the son is skipping school today, staying at his dad's house. This is the kid who is currently earning Ds. Staying home is going to help, isn't it? Guess who the school is going to call if my son doesn't show up? Not my ex. Guess who gets punished here? Not my son.

grrrrrrr. Mad at the ex, mad at the kids, mad at the telephone for waking me up.

/grump.

I'm going to take the phone off the hook and go back to bed for an hour, and when I wake up, everything will be all better.

[Meanie the Blue]

((((Neo)))

:P ==> Her ex

Please ignore the name of the writer in

[Meanie the Blue]

....this link.

[southerngirl]

{{{NEO}}}

[Cookie]

That sucks neo.

Motto for ex-husbands Including mine:
Once an asshat, always an asshat

[KDF]

Sorry, neo. Sounds like a crappy way to start the day.

Of course, it is pantless Friday, so maybe he was meant to walk around jeans-free today.

{{{neo}}}

I recommend chocolate and a margarita, ingested separately, of course.

[neophyte]

Sorry about that, you all. Didn't mean to bring the Kilt down. So to speak.

And I forgot it was pantsless Friday. Excellent suggestions, K. In fact, I already had the chocolate. The margarita will wait until this evening. But for now... *removes pants and goes to take a nap*

[sharon share-alike]

{{neo!!}}

If you need ANYone to stomple your ex or....you know....breathe fire on him or anything, you just let me know, okay? You don't live that far away from me.

*very, very evil grin*

{{Kilties!}}

just 'cuz.

[Meanie the Blue]

I was nearly arrested for just 'cuz once. (OK, maybe more than once).

[sharon share-alike]

I'm sure the police had just 'cuz to arrest you, Blue.

Really.

[southerngirl]

neo, you so did not bring down the kilt!

(so to speak, er, type)

and what sharon said...ya need help stompling somebody? just let us know...;)

{{{kilties}}}

also just cuz.

[neophyte]

Thanks, Kilties. *grins*

Does that make us kissin' cuz'ns? *looks around hopefully*

[KDF]

I b'lieve that makes us Kissin' Kilties!

*grins*

[Meanie the Blue]

Still grinning?

[neophyte]

Most excellent!

*begins Kissin' Kilties*

Now... I'm pretty sure my homework would be easier with a bottle glass or two of wine, right?

[sharon share-alike]

Oh, most definitely, neo. In fact, I find that giving homework also goes better that way!

*enthusiastically joins the kissin'*

[neophyte]

Blue! That was just mean!
*snorks privately*

(heh heh, I said private!)

Sharon, I'm pretty sure my instructor was well into the wine when he assigned us this mountain of homework.

[Meanie the Blue]

I have to live up to my name ONCE in a while.

[KDF]

That link made me twitch.

*flings pudding spillage toward New Jersey*

[southerngirl]

ok, "pudding spillage" sounds...well, wrong, somehow...

*snork*

*loves neo a bottle glass of wine*

for myself, i'll just have another beer.

unless ASK is around with some tequila...?

[KDF]

I believe he's out for the evening, but I have rum!

[Bumble]

s-girl~ I saw a greeting card the other day that was clearly intended for you. On the front it said something about great minds or minds of long-time friends thinking alike, and on the inside it said, "You're thinking tequila shots, right?"

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

[neophyte]

Anybody still up?

My sister is going through a divorce and is moving tomorrow, and it's going to be difficult. I thought I'd have flowers delivered to the new apartment as a housewarming gift. Yeah, they may just be in the way as the movers carry stuff through, but at least she'll know somebody's thinking about her.

I wish I could find the store that sells an "I Know You Don't Want To Move and I'm Sorry Your Husband Is Such an *&%*^$&#$ But You Will Be So Much Better Off Without Him So Congratulations On Finally Getting Out Of Such a Sucky Relationship and I Wish I Could Be There To Help but a Bunch Of Flowers Is the Best I Can Do and I Love You Bouquet"

But I've googled, and I can't find one. So, since that's not an option, which do you think is better? Sending Sunshine and Smiles? Or something to Brighten the Day?

[neophyte]

You know what would be a good housewarming bouquet? All that stuff that you need when you start over at a new house. Use a small trash can as the vase. It could have a small dish soap, a dish towel, hand soap, paper towels, trash bags, toilet brush, screwdriver, that kind of stuff arranged in a cute way as the "flowers." All the junk that you need but you are so used to having around that you don't even think about it, you know? And the frustrating thing is, if I'd thought about this a week ago, I could have made one and shipped it.

[Bumble]

neo~ I like sunshine and smiles best, and I'm sure you can customize the card with your message. :-) At any rate, I'm sure she'll be glad to know you're thinking of her. Hope all works out for the best. G'night!

[sharon share-alike]

Ooooo, I like the "Brighten the Day" one....lotsa purple! VERY pretty.

And very sweet of you, too...my sympathies (and...er...congratulations...you know what I mean) to your sister. I, too, wish there had been some such card when my brother went through his divorce (wife #1 was SUCH a #%@^&$! Wife #2, however, is definitely a keeper!). But I couldn't find one, either.

So have a swig of rum and pass it on!

[neophyte]

Last year I went through a divorce, Sharon, and I felt bad for the people who wanted to say something to me but didn't know whether to express sympathy or congratulations. So I coined a new word: condolations.

*swigs*
*passes* Oh goodness! Excuse me! *blushes*

[OtheU(manity)]

neo' ... I admire (and congratulate you for) your neologistical capabilities ... especially in the face of the stress-laden process of formalizing the recognition of your prior erroneous decision by completing the divorcementalization process ...

[Ed. note: Translation, to forestall pervie misconstrualisismness: I like your word coinage while dealin' with a crappy situation.]

[sharon share-alike]

I had no idea your divorce was so recent! I knew you had an "ex"...I mean, I offered to stomple him and everything...but I didn't realize it was still a new-ish thing.

Definite condolations!

And I'm sure we can think of an excuse for you if we try hard enough!

*swigs*

*swigs again*

At this rate all the rum will be gone by the time ASK comes back.

*passes......out*

[neophyte]

*pokes Sharon gently* Yep, she's out all right. *gently liberates rum bottle from her grasp*

*swigs* Hey! It's empty!

...to forestall pervie misconstrualisismness
What?! Since when do we want to forestall pervie miscontr... miscos... misconshtrusalismes... anything?

[OtheU(manity)]

Oops!

How about ... foreplay?

[cyn]

usually works fer me

*rummage*

who took the ruuum?

*floomp*

[KDF]

Sorry I missed the party last night (although, I had did have my own rum and oj -- juice, not Simpson)

neo, both bouquets are beautiful, and I hope you wrote the card exactly as you did above, because it will make your sister laugh and feel loved.

I, too, have that tendency to think of that perfect gift at the 13th hour -- D'OH! -- but I betcha she'll still need all that stuff a week from now. So make the trash can welcoming bouquet today and send it overnight!

*SNORK* at "condolations"

*drags self to shower*

[KDF]

*grins*

[Meanie the Blue]

Fling all you have this way, KDF, we're all out of pudding here. And, no, I will NOT be offering an explanation why.

Neo, my condolations to your sister as well. She may be lacking a good mate just now, but she's got a helluva sister. Choice of bouquet style won't matter, as she will immediately see that it came from an immense heart, which matters far, far more.

[OtheU(manity)]

Neo' ... the good/smart/lucky ones will understand right away ... a cousin's wife (I'll try to keep this one short ...) had become a first-time grandmother -- without benefit of clergy or JP -- and I knew she wuz less than 100 percent pleased with the fact that her daughter had chosen this path ... tho I also knew she wuz planning to enjoy bein' gramma ...

So ... somewhut cautiously, I looked her in the eye and said, "I hear you're a grandma, now. Congratulations ... ... I guess ..."

She looked me right back in the eye, and said, "Thank you ... ... I think ..."

We still smile about it ... I think she accepted my "condolations" in the spirit which they were offered ... (when ya got lemons, make lemonade, and get on with the good parts of life ... merely sayin' ...)

Your sister is fortunate (somewhut) to have you for support ... (Hey, it's not a perfect world, but she's got you ...)

[neophyte]

Good morning. Anybody else have a hangover? Uffda. And all I drank was Kiltie rum; I thought virtual rum didn't have side effects?

[southerngirl]

morning kilties!

no hangover here, fortunately. :)

[neophyte]

BTW, thanks guys. My sister is a really great woman.

BUT, I'm a little uncomfortable about this. I ordered from an on-line florist. Sent my credit card info, same as I always do. Then I got an extra window that popped up, saying there was a problem and asking for more info. That made me uncomfortable.

This morning, I got a call from the florist, asking for MORE information. They said my zip code was incorrect, so they had to ask me more questions. But when I asked what zip code they had for me, it was correct. So... I'm trying to figure out whether something's fishy.

[Meanie the Blue]

Assume something's fishy, Neo. It's not worth risking identity theft. Call/lookup another florist, and discuss the situation with your credit card company.

[Cookie]

neo, I usually try to find a local florist in the area and then spring for a phone call.
I feel safer that way. And they are usually quite a bit cheaper than the FTD ones or even others online. Especially for delivery.

[Bumble]

Blue is clearly not a girl; style matters. ;-)

And neo, that does sound fishy. Might consider cancelling and going with proflowers or someone else. My sister has used proflowers a lot, and she's never had problems with them.

[Bumble]

Wow. this is really pretty. *snork* Sehr schön.

[neophyte]

I usually use my local florist, too, El, because then they get a cut and I prefer to spend my money locally (support the community, and all that) But I know that they can't get the order sent out and get the florist on the other end to deliver so quickly.

I looked into it a little. I used Ph!ll!ps 1-8oo-Fl0rals. The phone number they called me from this morning is (63o)719-52o3; caller ID identified them as Ph!ll!ps Fl0rals. When I google for that area code and prefix, I see it is D0wner's Gr0ve, Illinois. And I can find a great many references to that florist chain in that area.

And this is a WONDERFUL procrastination device; I'm never going to get my homework done! :)

[neophyte]

Those are beautiful, Bumble. I love the first one especially. I had to be careful what I picked so that I didn't trigger memories. (No Asiatic lilies, no bamboo, no topiary, no orchids... the list goes on.)

Anybody else have strong flower associations? For example, when I found out my ex was having an affair he sent me a dozen long stemmed roses. Like that would fix everything. And to top it all off, the flowers were his girlfriend's idea! To this day, hot-house roses turn my stomach.

But once, backpacking in the mountains, my dad picked me a handful of wildflowers and put them in an empty dehydrated food package as a vase. It was the prettiest bouquet I've ever seen. *sniff* I love wildflowers.

Anybody else have these kinds of associations? Or is it just my sister and me?

[Bumble]

I have several dried flowers in my room. Most are roses. Two came from the funeral bouquets that topped my two grandmothers' coffins. (Is that creepy?) One was given to me at my HS graduation; a white rose tipped in gold (now a brown rose tipped in gold). I have two carnation corsages that were given to seniors by my choir director of four years at our last performance; one was for choir, the other for swing choir. I also have a small basket on my desk filled with dried petals from various flowers that my mother has picked from her garden over the years and put in vases in my room for me. And last but not least, I have a twig of bittersweet in my pencil can. There's a thought for a divorce bouquet; bittersweet.

[insomniac]

'condolations' makes me think of her...

[sharon share-alike]

I have a lingering fondness for white roses--once, many years ago, I had to have an extremely traumatic surgery and many of my dearest friends from back home (in including Pete M and his brother Patrick, KDF!) got together and sent me bushels and bushels of gorgeous white roses. My hospital room was swamped with them, and their scent told me stories of their love during a very difficult time.

Forget-me-nots make me cry (but not forget), freesias make my heart go pitty-pat, and snapdragons make me think of home and family. But orchids do that stomach-churning thing.

And....um....I have no idea who drank all the rum! Nope, nuh-uh, not a clue.

[neophyte]

For a divorce bouquet, how about Love Lies Bleeding? Ugh.

*thinks happy thoughts like white roses and snapdragons and freesias and wildflowers*

[Bumble]

insom~ saw that coming. :-)

[cyn]

*tugs blanky closer n adjusts sunglasses*

*whispers - why y'all gotta holler?*

*casts accusatory glance at ChiefRumThief*

[Bumble]

*pounces on cyn*

Up with you! It's time to have fun!

For the rest of you, anyway. I've got to work on a take-home quiz for managerial accounting. :-( Unlike most students, I'd rather have an in-class quiz any day. They're generally quicker and easier. *sigh*

[Bumble]

♪♫♪ Cause I'm all alone. There's no one here beside me. My problems have all gone, there's no one to deride me. But you gotta have friends... ♪♫♪

[cyn]

*smoochs bumble* just cuz