WHEN IT'S COLD OUTSIDE...

You might as well use your computer to be productive.

(Thanks to Ian Woollard)

Comments

[igloo]

Must be what happens when the elephant gets off of the loo.

[Tamara]

AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! That is impossible! I love it!

I am in an especially good mood today, as I just finished reading "Classic Dave." It's great to read the old stuff over again. Love it, Dave!

*loves everything today?*

[Christobol]

Next on Oprah - the tragic story of little yellow birds, the mean elephants they love, and the soup you can make from flat little yellow birds.

Those birds should really invest in some mouse costumes. I learned from Saturday morning cartoons that elephants are afraid of mice. At least cartoon mice.

[igloo]

Tamara,
Nice try. But buttering up Dave will not get you listed as first post. At least it hasn't for me.

[Marvin]

for a long time I thought the arrows controlled the elephant's leg, and It would squish it in under 3 seconds. Then my brain started working. Now I got 12.3. It's tough.

*wonders if anyone will make jokes about 'not lasting very long'*

[Higgy]

13.9 - yeah, insert your (not you're) comment about only lasting seconds here....

[Tamara]

Hey, now, I don't butter people up! Puh-leeze! That is so 1950's!

A conscientious young woman of the Double-O's uses only 100% real I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. (Spread!) Or, when I'm on a budget, I buy the generic brand (I Can't Believe It's Not I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! Spread!) Although of course for Dave I would go all-out and get the good stuff--I Can't Believe Other People Still Use Butter Are We Still Living In The Stone Ages Gawd I Am So Much Better Than Everyone Else! Spray!

[kitty lover]

15.9

[kitty lover]

15.9

[birds live!]

15.9

[Tamara]

18.8, but I'm not going to try a second time, because when Big Bird's son gets squooshed, it makes my heart go WRAAYYKK! as if that is the last beat it will ever make.

[birdiesquish]

16.8

[opiesgirl]

Yeehaaww!

[Karlota]

20.0 is my record, but I average about 3 seconds.

[Mike "Mad's Dork" Weasel]

Ha, got 26.8!

[D'Artagnan]

If you press Ctrl-F3-Alt-F11-Page Down-Booger (or Apple-Opt-F18-Grape on a Mac, but not a Mac mini, 'cos those are just too... you know, mini), the action freezes but the clock keeps going.

After a three-martini and goat nugget late lunch, I came back to the highest score of all time: 168.7

Beat that!

[Ian Woollard]

I got a non goat-nugget enhanced 31.2 before I submitted the link...

[u.o.]

and those partners, or buddies or whatever they are just keep laughing and pecking away and have no idea that THEY ARE NEXT!!!

[Nick]

HA HA! 0.6s... beat that suckas!

[McFatty]

Man, I suck.

[McFatty]

Man, I suck.

[Markus]

See all Beasley Real Estate News in this site: http://adeptrader.co.uk/beasleyrealestate/
beasley real åstate and more

[sharon share-alike]

Does this feel okay for everyone?

[Cookie]

It's not good for me sharon...sorry. :)

[Cookie]

*zips in*

Please ignore above post.

This is fine, and it's so much faster. The old Kilt was getting really slow, even for someone with high speed (read: me)

[cyn]

*raises hand* here!

where's the usual suspects?

[southerngirl]

*doesn't know if she likes bein referred to as a "suspect"*

*decides she can live with it*

*raises hand whilst wavin to cyn*

i'm here, too!

and um, tc is over and out for the nite, altho i'm sure he'll pop in (heeheehee) tomorrow

[Alfred]

I am here.
Sorry for the odd internet moments. Having net connection problems.

[Cookie]

I didn't know he "popped out". We were just "talking" a minute ago.

Oh well....

*zips out*

[cyn]

must have been that parfait i loved him. good thit

[ASK, the CD]

Hmm, slow night...

[Alfred]

I have school tommorow. Getting up at 7AM Kind of makes it diffiult to talk all night.

[Bumble]

Didn't realize we moved. I posted this on the old thread, but cyn was kind enough to come back and fetch me:

You guys have been busy today. I don't have time to heinz, but Indiana is finally getting typical weather for this time of year: cold and snow. All is once again right with the world... except that my employment prospects have altered and thrown me for a loop.

My manager at B&BW called today and said she needed to talk to me. I returned the call expecting to be laid off for the season; wasn't bothered by it since I have babysitting plans for February and could go back to the greenhouse in March. She didn't want to fire me; she wanted to recommend me for a sales lead position in the Logansport store. More money, more hours, more responsibility. Less freedom and flexibility. So now I'm torn. I need to let her know whether I want to be considered (she's recommending two other girls too; we have to be interviewed, and the job's not a sure thing) by tomorrow, and I'm not sure what to do.

*sigh*

*decides to sleep on it, perchance to dream of what should be done*

Posted by: Bumble | 12:16 AM on January 16, 2007

[ASK, the CD]

Kay says that she has been banned by typepad and that the lovely judi is theoretically working on it.

Anyway, she loves you and will get back as soon as she can. (Or maybe that message wasn't for everyone.)

Think it is the same problem cookie had - she can look but not touch, or something like that.

[ASK, the CD]

Sweet dreams B - my own thought is that it can't hurt to roll with it through the interview, anyway, then make the decision.

[neophyte]

I was banned once. It is a terrible feeling. I felt like I was behind a very thick pane of one-way glass. I could see in, I could even hear my friends, but no matter how much I pounded on that glass, no one could see me or hear me. And I couldn't break the glass, try as I might.

It's awful, isn't it, Cookie?

So, *looks up toward the mirrored ceiling in the kilt, just in case KDF is hiding behind it* hang in there, K, Judi and her thundertechs will get you free! *SMOOCH*

[neophyte]

Hmmm. No answer from Cookie; I thought she'd agree with me. No answer from KDF, but I guess that's to be expected, being banned and all.

No comment of any kind from anybody? Either my heinz button is broken or the blog is down. Uh-oh.

[OtheU(manity)]

Nope.

Not fer me, NEway ... of course, I'm usin' a Mac, with Safari ... merely sayin' ...

(Hi, Neo' ... gettin' ready to go to werk, but willin' to help a bit, if possible, as I'm passin' thru ... give 'em a little time ... they'll be back ...)

[OtheU(manity)]

Happy National Nothing Day y'all ...

Here's merely one idea, to help celebrate ... merely sayin' ...

(Y'all can gooogle it, fer more fun and/or excitement ...)

[KDF]

Usual Suspect, reporting for duty!

I'm happy to report that both judi and the Pypetad people were unbelievably quick and kind. (Well, actually judi was kind-hearted; Pypetad was quick.) I've reportedly been "whitelisted" now, which is a good thing.

*breathes*

And ASK is right, I do love you people.

Good to be here in this lovely new neighborhood. Thank you, Sharon! :)

*presses post, hopes for the best*

[Meanie the Blue]

Greetings, one and all.

Sharon, I haven't the heart to counter-pplllllllbbbbbtt! you after a story like that.

I will, however, offer a gun story of the semi-comic-relief variety (yes, such a story is possible).

In my wild and crazy youth, I tended to hang out with a beer-drinking, fun-loving crowd. There were, however, nights when that crowd was short on female company. On one such night, us guys got to talking about the people we knew who had access to cars and females, and who were known to sometimes take their cars and females to a certain very dark and immense parking lot to conduct shock absorber evaluations. Having been given use of my mom's car but lacking a female companion, we foolishly decided we could amuse ourselves by driving to the parking lot, slowly and quietly approaching any cars undergoing evaluations with our headlights off, dispatching a SWAT team to rock each corner of the target vehicles, and racing away to watch the ensuing panic from a safe distance.

We did this for several consecutive nights and had a splendid time. There came a night, however, that brought less than splendid results. It seems the vehicle we chose that night happened to be occupied by a law enforcment officer and his companion. How did we know this? By the very obviously law enforcement-type stance that the driver took when he jumped out and pointed his revolver at the windshield and, not coincidentally, my head, before we had all gotten back in and tried to drive off. I froze immediately, he yanked my door open, ordered me out, and pushed me into a perp-search stance up against the car. I knew what was coming and instinctively closed my legs an instant before a boot reached my groin from behind; I then feigned the awful pain that had been intended. He proceeded to smack me about some and pushed me back into the car. One of my friends (the smallest, God bless him!) got out and verbally tried to defend me but was smart enough not to physically take the guy on. He was ordered back in the car, my friend complied, and the guy with the gun shouted for us to "Get the *^%$ outta here!!", whereupon I also complied.

I was actually unbruised, except perhaps psychologically, but that is of course hard to tell amid all the other psychological wounds that I exhibit. I was simply glad to be alive, as well as glad to not have to explain bullet holes in my mother's car, which might also have been fatal.

[OtheU(manity)]

Here I is ...

(well, K ... y'all said you wanted the best! ... merely trineta help ...

[sharon share-alike]

Ah, I see we made the move after all.

Thank you.

I'm off to my first day of classes for this semester...and the temperature is all of one degree here. OH joy!

[Cookie]

*zips in*

Good morning Kilties!

neo, I totally agree with you. I just wasn't here yet. You describe the feeling perfectly. And while you're looking in and reading, you mentally get the best, funniest, most clever comments that you've ever had, and you can't make them, that's the worst part.

And, on behalf of all of us Kathy, Mr. Kotter says welcome back!

[KDF]

*snork*

[Sarah J]

I forgot to say this yesterday:

YAY! for a new Kilt!!!

This is the 20th Kilt! (I just updated the links on the Y site; I hadn't done that in a while; I've been super busy!)

[Alfred]

Bumble- I know how you feel. I am taking 20 credits, and have a 25 hour a week job. This tends to put me in some hard positions.
It is a tough decision, but I know you will make the best of either choice.

[Sarah J]

Where are you working, Alfred?

[Bumble]

For our 20th Kilt celebratory party!

[Bumble]

And later we can make some snow cream. Who's got the cleanest snow? Mine is a little too thin; I'd probably scrape up some mud if I tried to collect it.

[Sarah J]

We have powdery drifts outside my bedroom window that pretty clean, although they might be a bit crunchy on top

[KDF]

Wow, 20 Kilts and still going strong! That makes me happy. :)

No snow here still (I think it mostly hit New Hampshire and Maine)... although that may change soon.

[Bumble]

Where is it you live Kay? I forget.

[sharon share-alike]

*joins the 20th Kilt party celebration*

This is good....celebration is good.

And KDF, I don't believe you for a second. According to my own empirical observation and strenuous academic study...THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD IS COVERED IN ICE!!

It's another ice age, I'm tellin' you!

And I didn't fall...though my entire body hurts from tensing up while walking across campus.

First day back was grand...I had (relatively) good responses from both classes, so I think I can beat them into sub....er....I mean, gently lead them down the path of higher learning.

Yeah. That's what I meant.

[Bumble]

An ice age, eh?

*pictures sharon doing something like this*

[sharon share-alike]

*snork*

[sharon share-alike]

*relaxes on couch with the day's mail*

*opens utilities bill*

*has massive heart attack, stroke, apoplexy, seizure, and embolism all at once*

*also contracts leprosy*

*falls off couch into catatonic state*

(I think it's Nebraska, but it's difficult to tell)

[Bumble]

*ladles cider into sharon's mouth with a spoon*

Pep up, girl! We all know how wealthy college profs are. ;-)

[KDF]

Bumble, I live in Massachooooooosetts, sort of midway between Boston and Providence, R.I.

Leprosy?? CRAP!! I'll notify the students! Maybe one of 'em's good for walking the dog and getting your mail for a little extra credit, hmmm?

*is aware that others will read perviness into "walking the dog, getting your mail," and "extra credit," even though there isn't any there*

*frozen snickers*

[sharon share-alike]

Thanks guys, but I think I'm sufficiently revived now (psst...Bumble...it was the cider!). Poor, but revived. Except for the leprosy. But that goes away on its own.....right??

HOLY SH!T it's cold here. I took a shower and then had to go outside for about 45 seconds (no exaggeration, it was definitely under a minute) to unhook the dog's chain from an ice stalagmite on the ground, and....my hair completely froze. Solid. If you flicked your finger against it, it would make a tink tink tink sound.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrr.........!

[Sarah J]

My sister's roommate (last year, no longer living with her) washed her waist long hair, put it in a ponytail, and went to school. On the way it froze and when she slipped an fell on ice it broke off at the hair band, like an icicle. It was very, very sad and she cried for a long time. I would have too, if I suddenly lost 16" of hair.

[southerngirl]

sharon, just don't attach your tongue to a post. ;)

c'mon you guys...that was a perfectly innocent remark!

[sharon share-alike]

Was not.

:p

[southerngirl]

was too.

*innocent look*

[KDF]

*is not laughing*

*SNOOOORRRRRK*

Nope.

*also attempts innocent look*

pssst, sg, I don't think they're buyin' it

[southerngirl]

psst...KDF...we're not buyin yours, either... ;)

*tackles both of her sistahs and *smoochs* them*

*grins*

[southerngirl]

*smooches them, too.

[sharon share-alike]

Well...for a sistah smooch-n-tackle, I'll believe anything!

...Well........maybe not anything. But most things.

[KDF]

Hey, I'm all for a good smooch-n-tackle, but do NOT break my hair.

*runs from flying cupcake*

[Bumble]

*pounces on the smooch-n-tackle brigade*

Sarah, that is unreal. I've never heard anything like it in my life. How dreadful.

[neophyte]

Yes, this cold sucks. I blame global warming.

[southerngirl]

*tries to imagine KDF with frozen hair*

nah, can't do it.

[ASK, the CD]

As the fist male to happen by after the pole remark...

...nah, I'm not up to it.

[sharon share-alike]

I'm not buyin' that either, ASK!!

:p

[ASK, the CD]

sorry, I olnly had three "r's" available for that last post, I had to skimp somewhere. Its okay, I found more.

[ASK, the CD]

and evidently an overstock of "l's"

[KDF]

ASK, I knew you had plenty of "AARRRRRRR"'S, but you got extra eyes, too?

[Bumble]

ASK wears glasses? ;-)

*goes to bed*

[southerngirl]

{{{ASK}}}

[southerngirl]

and may i just point out that that last post was the first i've come up with in days that hasn't attracted the spambot.

shhhh...don't wake him!!!

[OtheU(manity)]

OK ... sorta OT (whut's the topic?) ... but ... I had (pardon the expression, sil vous plait) a near-skivvy-sh!ttin' experience today ...

ISIANMTU!!! ENTIRE STORY IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE!!! So help me, Blessed St. Judi ...

I'm gonna guess that some/many/most of y'all prolly read the posts this a.m. and saw the one about the guy who wuz attackticated by a dog which bit him on the dangly bits ...

So ... I'm out werkin' and we're on the rail, and backin' up, and the conditions are a little unclear, so we (trainee and moi ownself) get out of the truck and walk back to inspect stuff ...

There's a faucet stickin' out of the ground, with a garden hose attached ... hmmmmmm ... that's odd ... and look ... there's an extension cord comin' outta that old shack beside the rail ... hmmmmm ... somebuddy's campin' out here, is whut I'm thinkin' ... (it's a rather neglected and mostly unused portion of some side tracks in a rail yard ...)

And ... just as we get past the corner of this little shed/shack ...

HERE COMES A DOG! BARKIN' AND SNARLIN' ... !!!

OK ... the first thing I notice is ... there's a chain on his collar ...

Next thing I notice is ... the chain is attached to a pulley on a cable ... and the cable is attached to ... THE CORNER OF THE SHED! BEHIND US!!!

The NEXT thing I notice is ... ANOTHER, BIGGER DOG is only a couple of jumps behind the first one ... !!!

THEN I can see ... THERE'S NO CHAIN ATTACHED TO THE BIGGER DOG!!!

By the time, the trainee is movin' back towards the truck ... but he knows he's not gonna make it ...

Meanwhile ... Mr. Lightning Reflexes -- Always Prepared old-guy stoopid person is ... rememberin' the blog link about the genital-eatin' dog ...

... and ... turnin' sideways, to protect certain valuable personal equipment, while also lookin' for a place to kick the big MEAN-LOOKIN' BARKIN' SNARLIN' PIECE OF DOGFLESH ... in self-defense ... of course ...

(Certain "tools" carried on one's belt may be helpful -- even essential -- at times, but the "quick-draw" capabilities of youth are ... barely a memory ... so ... reachin' fer the "tool" is only a flicker of imagination ... and ... WAAAAAY too late to be of much assistance, as the canine's canines are about to latch onto -- one may only hope -- one's glueteus maximus ... as opposed to, say, one's dangulummus bittus et scrotusesness ...

SUDDENLY, A SHOUT IS HEARD!!!

It's the dog's "owner" ... and the dog stops ... less than eight feet away from any parts of personal anatomy ...

Total estimated elapsed time from first sight of dog on chain, to unchained dog stoppin' before committin' mayhem ...

Mebbe 2.5 seconds ... and a lifetime flashin' before my mind's eye ...

Heckuva way to spend National Nothin' Day ... almost ended up with "nothing" ...

I'm thinkin' the only aspect of the whole deal that kept me from a fecal mishap was the pucker factor influence of the fear ... (and if y'all wanna know about the "shrivel" factor ... um ... well, yeah -- it does exist ... trust me on this ...)

Sure glad I din't have Mexican cuisine fer dinner last nite ... or I know I'd've had more than skid marks on the FTLs ...

Wait, mebbe I'd better check ...

...

...

... nevermind ...

[southerngirl]

can't...comment...tears in my eyes preventin me from seein the keyboard...

sorry uncle o, but...but...

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

nite kilties :)

[cyn]

{{{{Uncle O}}}}

*dissolves into muffled snorkage*

[Meanie the Blue]

*Uncrosses legs, stops cringing*

[OtheU(manity)]

Ohhhhhhh ... suuuuuuuurrrrrreeee ...

Laff @ the old coot's misfortunes ... that's really nice ...

Such sensitivity ...

Such caring ...

Such Ageism ...

Such ... um ... ... ... lovely ladies ...

Hi, gang ...

[ASK, the CD]

No school! Woohoo! Ice Day!

Oh, wait - are teachers supposed to act like that?

You'd think we Texans aren't used to ice! Heck, I have it in my margaritas all the time - what's the big deal?

[southerngirl]

mornin kilties

O. ths U, ya know we luv ya...it was your prosaic way of expressing yourself that we found so amusing.

right, cyn? ;)

ASK, teachers are probably more likely to act that way than students. :)

i've got to get to work, so save me a margarita or two for later, will ya?

[Meanie the Blue]

Have an Ice Day!

[OtheU(manity)]

Prosaic? Or Prozac?

Whut ever ...

(Yeah, I finally got to the part where I wuz able to laff it off ... but there wuz a few seconds there when it wuz an emotional state of kill or be killed ... plus the prolonged adrenaline letdown, of course ... that tooken a couple of hours ...

Not as long-lastin' as Viagra™ p'haps, but a definite "speed" trip ... merely sayin' ...

[Cookie]

*zips in*

Why El is an idiot

Since nothing we post can ever be deleted by us, I went to the wrong Kilt *sobs* and this is what I posted:(but the last post was last night)

*zips in*

*looks around and sees no one, but there is a large pile of blankies in the corner and some toes sticking ou*

WAKEY, WAKEY!

I guess I'm the FIRST to say

Good Morning, Kilties!!

(unless there was a midnight move and the posse didn't tell me)

Posted by: Cookie | 10:40 AM on January 17, 2007

[Bumble]

{{{El}}}

Glad you found us. :-)

[Cookie]

Me too Bumble!

Thank good for the Y site, and a YAY to Sarah for updating it. :)

[Sarah J]

YAY! for me!! Boo! to cold and ice!!

[TCK]

YAY! for icey cold margaritas

[Bumble]

*decides to warm TCK up*

*takes careful aim and goes in for the tackle*

Bullseye!

*dashes off to German class*

[southerngirl]

*wonders if it would be ok to have an icy cold margarita for lunch*

[TCK]

just like a chick - tackles a guy and gets him all warmed up...

and then dashes off to german class

*sigh*

[TCK]

margaritas are best at lunchtime, IMO

(and, based upon my training and experience, i beleive that would be an expert opinion)

[southerngirl]

well, i guess it would be ok then, seein as how your opinion is an expert one. ;)

*wonders if ASK left some tequila*

[ASK, the CD]

Went and stocked up before the storm whilst everyone else was at Wal-Mart and the grocery store.