WE ARE HERE TO HELP

Dave,

Could you please post the definition of a blog on your page, so that I may explain to my husband, who insists on looking at me like I have two heads whenever I tell him "guess what was on Dave's Blog today?"

Thank you,

opiesgirl

We would define the term "blog" as "a complete waste of time." This is also how we would define the terms "hobby," "customer service" and "United States Congress."

Comments

[antiroach]

And don't forget to include American TV!!

[Drew]

Can't she just show him the blog?

[queensbee]

not teevee! just the commercials.

[SteveB]

"guess what was on Dave's Blog today"

Dave, a little antiseptic cream and a dose of penicillin will get that off your blog.

[Peaceful1]

Complete waste of time? This blog gives my life meaning, keeps me informed as to the important things in life, and stays crunchy in milk.

[Tamara]

Yeah, yeah, "waste of time" blah, blah, blah... You sound like my therapist! Except you didn't ask me how I felt about that.

[igloo]

Wow, two heads.
Can we get a picture?

[D'Artagnan]

Careful, Drew. Excessive bloggage (defined as any bloggage whatsoever) can be grounds for divorce in many states, such as Confusion, Euphoria, and Flux.

[antiroach]

queensbee,

Okay, okay...I take back the American TV comment.

* smack on wrist *

'Who's Your Daddy?' and 'The Simple Life' have gotten me through rough times...like when a washing machine unexpectedly exploded too close to me and, for the next two weeks, all I could hear was the faint buzzing of a cane toad.

[bangladeshi_gurl]

ANTIABDU-- Dude, plz email me thru the yahoo grp
and not thr.
thanx
:)

[barbaraboxer]

i am the defination of total waste of time as prescribed by freud.

[tedkennedy]

fffffffffffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrtttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Peri]

Bangi! We've been worrying about you! Check in with the 'mother ship', OK?

[Christobol]

Wait, I thought the US Congress was a hobby.

[igloo]

Witchiecoo & Jeff:
Thanks so much for the visual AIDS! Almost makes me want to resume work.

[igloo]

Thank you Mr. Kennedy. We appreciate your comments on Condelezza Rice.
(Wink, Wink)

[mudstuffin]

and then there's that whole penis thing...

[random thunking]

the penis thing is not a waste of time, its more like a... lifestyle, or a raison d'etre

[Christobol]

Hey Dave,

Since you're all about helping people today, could you post a definition for "naughty stewardesses" that sounds educational and family values oriented so that my wife won't give me "that look" when all those pop-ups show up?

Thanks.

[igloo]

C'bol,
Ask Mr. Kennedy, you may have better luck. After all he may have more experience, what with his fancy Pulitzer Prize and all.

[Bangi_Sizzles]

Peri--will do!
This thread's hilarious!
MUM: WHAT R U DOING WASTING TIME ON THE BLOG AGAIN

Bangi: i am NOT wasting time, i am actively and conciously making a lifestyle choice. it's my rasin deeter...and um...then thr's that whole penid thing...

[Christobol]

igloo,

I don't think tedkennedy is Dave Barry. After all, I can put that as my email too.

Mr. Kennedy, I know Dave Barry. I met him in Chicago. You sir, are no Dave Barry.

Besides, wouldn't he have said:

bbbbbboooooooooooooooooooooooooooggggger?

[Uncle Omar]

Bangi' -
Well if your nose is dammed, I'd guess that would block the flow, fer shure ...

'coo -
looovveeedd the double-header ...

back home we useta talk about renting out the basement of outhouses to (fill in ethnic group name here) as efficiency apartments ...

[igloo]

C'bol,
How can you tell the difference. They are similar in size, same boozy glaze in their eyes and they both seem to have a lot of hot air.

[Witchiecoo]

What do you call a "loose woman" with a runny nose?

Full.

(sorry, I'll go back to my job now)

[igloo]

ewwwwwwwww. But funny.

[Bangi_Sizzles]

Christobol--HOW bad is it then?
*HATCHOO*
*FFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTT*
undamms nose

[Christobol]

Well, one time I woke up in a "Where Are They Now" episode on VH1 with the Bangles.

So, I guess fairly bad...

[Brad]

A "blog" is where we all go for ten minutes every hour when it is too cold to go outside for a smoke.

(P.S. I don't smoke, just being funny.)

[Eleanor]

Jeff, that was a disgusting, horrible, awful link and I am ashamed of you and for you - I will never look at your links again!!!!

And don't call me Shirley!

[cubie]

a blog has been known to help grow new dendrites in your brain to delay the onset of Alzheimer's disease

[cubie]

at least that is what they told me here in the "home"

[Bangi]

just not this blog
however, this blog often contains funny jokes abt alzheimer's disease

[kC]

THE BLOG:
Where I move all of the bits of information that come into my computer from Used Car Salesmen trying to sell me Audis. I call it the "Recycled Bin."

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Blog:

Something you can't participate in any more when you get a new job that requires constant work all the time.

*sighs*

[Christobol]

mkj! good luck in your endeavor. we just think of ebay and weep now. but don't feel bad.

[slyeyes]

1) MKJ!! Great to read ya. You are missed.

2) Opiesgirl...you actually TELL other people about the blog. I'm not that brave. My daughters don't need much more evidence for the commitment papers.

[Lmd33]

My connectively to AOL went completely south this weekend (and I don't mean Venezuela) due to the fact that I managed to delete two very important files that had to do with the internet browser, and stuff like that.

Somewhere along the way Dell (an otherwise excellent computer company) had the not-so-bright idea to provide free customer service to its customers AND be cost efficient by basing the hotline in New Delhi. It took me six hours to understand enough of what was being said before I was able to get it up and running again. And that was not even the technical stuff - it was trying to interpret their version of English. If you think I'm exagerating, try it some time.

[Mule Acorn]

BLOG -

Anagram for GLOB. An example of a glob would be a wet, gooey booger.

Coincidence?

I think not.

[Eleanor]

Opiesgirl...you actually TELL other people about the blog. I'm not that brave. My daughters don't need much more evidence for the commitment papers.

sly - my daughter's getting nervous too - I wish I'd never mentioned it!

I think I'll go back in the closet - not that there's a anything wrong with that!

[slyeyes]

Somewhere along the way Dell (an otherwise excellent computer company)

Lmd33: Do you remember the Three Stooges Episode re Niagara Falls. Whenever someone would say "Niagara Falls", they would say..."S-l-o-w-l-y I turn...step by step...inch by inch..." and then proceed to go bizerk.

That will give you an idea of my reaction to what you said. Dell and I had a bitter ugly fight and even though they finally coughed up a new -- and nice -- laptop for me, I still face years of healing.

*twitch*

[U.O.]

El -

I've told my kids about it ... but they're so used to hearing my old stories over and over and over and over ... they mebbe weren't paying attention enuf to be curious enuf to look at it ...

hope that works ... or they won't have a bit of problem with the papers, straightjacket or the ticket to the funny farm ... (They're coming to take me away, ha-ha ... They're coming to take me away, ho-ho ...)

[opiesgirl]

My hubby is the only person I have told so far. I thought he would go cool because he is the one who got me hooked on his Daveness. Now I will be forced to bring my best friend into it.
I love using this to waste my time.

[Kc]

Two weeks ago, a pit bull was wandering the neighborhood. I had to call aminal control. My neighbor thought we should just let him find his way home. Evidently she didn't know about 'pit' bulls.
(she asked me why I didn't just keep him. (Like I was going to invite him in for "tea." I'm sure Pico, muy pup, would be a tasty tidbit for "the Kayo KId)

[Mule Acorn]

My younger granddaughter got snapped in the face by a Pit/Rott cross ... sort of a flukey thing ... dog bit and let go ... domestic pet, 'NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THAT BEFORE' and such ...

No marks, and she's not afraid of dogs, that was about 5 years ago ...

quite a day for us, standing around the ER ... waiting for the ophthamologist to check out to see about damage to the cornea ...

this was a pet of friends of friends ... imagine what it's like if the dog doesn't know you ???

[kC]

When I was working as a social worker in Florida, I had to go into 'run-down' areas where the weeds and bushes were allowed to 'grow' at will. A 'junk yard' type of mongol dog came up behind me and bit me on the calve of the leg. I had to have a number of shots. The authorities picked him up. He was held 10 days and they called me to see if I wanted to have him 'put to sleep'. The owners wouldn't keep him penned up and he had bitten every child in the neighborhood. Dog bites can be very serious.

[Lmd33]

Sorry sly,

Didn't mean to send your therapy back 15 months.

[telal]

That's o.k. Lmd33. You can always tune in the 'Food Network' and watch Emeril.

[Lmd33]

I HATE Emeril!!!!

[d-man]

So, enough cutesy rhetoric and pontifcation....what the hell is a blog? Maybe, just maybe, someone actually could define it for me in terms that I, a person who doesn't know what a blog is, could understand.....???
Pretty please......????????