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January 21, 2005


Saturday 1/22 @ 9 PM PST


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First squid, then camel toe, then Spongebob - now this! I knew I shouldn't have worn jeans to church but I thought God would work through my pants....

I've angered the blog gods. I knew it!

My boss wants to know (not no), if you can do this on a WEEKDAY. He seems to be a little miffed about something called work. Sheesh what a crouch(little Ed Norton reference there). He doesn't seem to be buying my explanation of reseach on the width and depth of the modern day internet.

I believe that I speak for many when I say "HUH!?"

"God would work through my pants"

That is all.

Hey, did anyone notice that the blog clock is wrong?

"God would work through my pants"

I think we have displayed admirable restraint in not having a wonderful time with that.

9PM PST is midnight here in the old EST Zone. (Of course that's -1 on the current blog clock) I don't think I'll even notice the blog is down.

Judi / Nava / Gremlin?

Is part of this exercise deleting all my posts, or is that just a hint?


Man Castrates Self After Finding Instructions On Internet

POSTED: 1:19 pm EST January 21, 2005

RENO, Nev. -- Police in Reno report a man went to extremes to reduce his sex drive.

Officers in the Nevada city said the 50-year-old man castrated himself, following instructions he found on the Internet and did so to lower his libido.

The man, whose name hasn't be released, called 911 when he couldn't stop the bleeding. He was taken by ambulance to a local hospital.

Hospital officials won't release any information, citing privacy concerns. But police say hospital officials confirmed the man successfully castrated himself.

At this point in time, why not wait until April 3 to work on the clock (when the time changes again)?

If god can work through Somewhere Norths pants, why can't he do the same for poor (forgot the word I want here) SpongeBob?!?!?

*pssst* Eleanor - The Blog probably shouldnt condone the use of drugs. Wouldn't want Dr. Dobson to try to ban IT too as an assault on family values!!!!



Its 2:46 JST (Just standard time +2 from DST)

Blog me tender,
Blog me sweet,
Let the Blog Clock go.
You have made my life complete,
And I love you so.

Blog me tender,
Blog me true,
Our parting makes me blue.
Em Oh Tee and Double-you,
I'll come back for you.

Blog me tender,
Blog me long,
Take me to your heart.
For it’s there that I belong,
And we’ll never part. (Betcha thought I'd say fart, didn't ya?)

Blog me tender,
Blog me dear,
The clock is still not right.
At least the time warp's been removed,
if just for one night.

(when at last my dreams come true
Darling this I know
I.T. guys will screw things up
everywhere you go).

Maybe if we try to channel God through my pants we can log on to the blog during the outage? Sorry pogo - couldn't resist. My apologies to Dobson. I hear he's gay?


I just went to your webpage...you are funny...

This is terrible timing! My firm is in the middle of busy season, and now I'm actually going to have to work??


AND, as Jeff Meyerson mentioned, we're about to get slammed with a foot of snow over the weekend, I really will have nothing else to do but work now!

Julietine - thank you, but remember, looks aren't everything.

Judi - Just by the way, I didn't mean to come off as a whiner, it's just that, if the posts are deleted, even my unproductivity is unproductive.

Hey - maybe that can be my Hasselhoffian Infinite Recursion - an infinitely recursive unproductively unproductive crotch picture.

*runs to dig Shazam costume out of storage*

C-Bol, you want I should blank out your chapters 1-27 on the Y?

[gilda radner voice]

Never mind.

Deon - please just take them off line for now. Later, I do think it will be fun to look at the "before" and "after" - so at some point we can repost them there or at Brat's cool site.



Someone already took it down.

And I must admit, I was wondering when you would seek to recapture the docs--intellectual property and all that. You've certainly put enough work into them to try to get published. The writing is very good.

If you only finish it in the published copy, why all your blog groupies will have to buy copies...I figure a couple hundred folks eh?

Or better still, you could finish, print & bind the manuscript and sell it on Ebay. MKJ would probably want a commission.

Was it always your plan to write a novel or did it happen by accident? Maybe we should schedule an interview?

[goes off to write interview questions]

Thanks for me on, Deon.

Hope to publish it as a real book, but my lawyer is still researching how long I'll be in jail if I submit it to publishers under the ghost name "Dave Barry".

I did not intend it as a novel at first, which is why a lot of the early stuff will have to be edited more heavily. However, I'll keep some of that and repackage it as a short story, because I'm pretty happy with it.

I basically want to take it offline so that when it is being pushed as a manuscript I don't have to answer why it's on the web. I know pretty much nothing about "the business", except that you need to have a nearly endless supply of drunk badgers. That I have.

christobol, i don't see any whining, but i also don't know what posts have been deleted. is there any pattern? has it been going on a long time? please email me and let me know whatever you know, so i can talk to nava about it.

What outage? All seems well here.

Oh right 9 pm... duh! Well, I'll be a-bowlin' by then...

It's tomorrow night, weasel!!!!! 9p.m.our time...

pogo - yeah, right ... you know how "restrained" we can be ... if someone brings a straight-jacket ...

El - Just relax ... Deep Breathly ... and remember the mantra ...

The Blog Will Return

The Blog Will Return

The Blog Will Return

The Blog Will Return

mud' -


Do not ask for whom the blog tolls.
It tolls for thee.

Blog tolls? Now we have to pay for this?

slowlayne, good limerick.

Christobol, you majorly RAWK.

well so much for that... everything stayed as per normal and the clock hasn't changed at all that I can tell

Me too.
What you said, kat.

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