THOSE EX-TERRORIST BASTARDS

Now they're shoplifting processed squid.

Comments

[igloo]

Something spooky going on here. City ordinance passed on December 7, then this Yamamoto character shows up. Is this foreshadowing? Sounds like His Daveness has the beginning of a Tom Clancy novel.

[Brian McClure]

And this after our worst day this millenium, January 24.

Oh my god !! 24 !!

[LabSpecimen]

I did the math. 1,200 yen = somewhere about 37 degrees F.

[julietine]

Dave,

Did you watch American Idol last night???

[igloo]

In other breaking news,
"Professor charged with indecently assaulting technical school student". Just curious, can you get away with decently assulting technical school student? Do you say "Please" prior to the assault?
Where is Mr. Etiquette Person when you need him?

[Tetsu]

Actually it's closer to $11 or 4 liters fulmigrade.

[MOTW]

Don't they usually put an exploding red dye package in stolen goods? Because Exploded and Dyed Processed Squid wbagnfa Japanese reality show.

[igloo]

What is processed Squid? Is it like processed cheese?

[MOTW]

igloo - some questions are just better not asked.

[MOTW]

igloo - some questions are just better not asked.

[Rainy Daze]

Couldn't the dye be omitted in this case because of the presence of ink in the squid? Can't they just create a small incendiary device that just makes the squid's ink spray all over itself and the perpetrator?

[Igloo]

OK, already. Your starting to sound like the my Spouse. Always repeating the same thing over and over. Not tonight, Dear.

[Boo Augustus]

I didn't realize processed squid is the same as processed cheese. However, it would make for more low-fat fudge if I substitute it for VELVEETA Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product or VELVEETA LIGHT Reduced Fat Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product.

3/4 lb. (12 oz.) processed squid, cut up

1 cup (2 sticks) butter or margarine

6 squares BAKER'S Unsweetened Baking Chocolate

2 Tbsp. light corn syrup

2 pkg. (16 oz. each) powdered sugar (about 8 cups)

1-1/2 cups chopped PLANTERS Pecans

1 tsp. vanilla

PLACE VELVEETA, butter, chocolate and corn syrup in large microwavable bowl. Microwave on HIGH 2 minutes; stir. Microwave an additional minute; stir until well blended.

ADD chocolate mixture, in batches, to sugar in large bowl, beating with electric mixer on medium speed until well blended after each addition. Stir in pecans and vanilla.

POUR into greased 13x9-inch pan. Smooth top with spatula; cover. Refrigerate several hours or until firm. Cut into 96 (1-inch) squares.

[andylichter]

redundant *Drunken Russian* redundant Update:

Russian man survives 40ft fall

A drunk Russian who fell 40 feet from a flat balcony after drinking a bottle of vodka walked away without a scratch.

The 30-year-old from Moscow, named only as Oleg, had come to a friend's flat for a party. But having downed a litre of vodka in a few hours he complained he was feeling ill and went to the balcony for some fresh air.

His friends said he lost his balance as he went on the balcony - and fell 40 feet down to the ground.

But instead of being killed he got up and walked back to the apartment, and carried on drinking as if nothing had happened, local media reported.

[Rainy Daze]

I'm sure in that fall he received a few broken ribs, maybe a broken ankle, and possibly a concussion... but hell, after a litre (or "liter" if you speak Swahili) of vodka, who hasn't almost killed themselves and not felt anything?

[Cosa Nostradamus]

.
I've had pasturized processed squid food, the spread? It's not bad, actually. Not as good as a ripe, aged squid, like a Stilton squid, or an Italian gorgonzolascungille, but OK in a pinch, with crackers, maybe a pint of sweet, sweet wine...

You gotta be REALLY hungry to steal it, though.

Poor little manga terrorist.
.

[mudstuffin]

apocalyptic
surely not aerosol fish
please,please no carp-whiz

[morty]

I'll try my hand at this....

Processed squid - queers did cops

[igloo]

SquidWhiz. WAGNFARB

[mudstuffin]

what twinkie eater
has not thought "What is this stuff?"
maybe processed squid?

[Marvin]

Boo - I noticed that your ingredients call for squid, but the recipe does not. For this, I am grateful.

[mudstuffin]

"squid" - humorous word
"weasel" funnier than squid
let's make weasel-whiz

[igloo]

I think you make weasel whiz by squeezing its bladder.

[igloo]

Perhaps weasel whiz would have been a better name for the new *improved* Budweiser Beverage.

[MOTW]

If you thought that processed meat by-products really should be banned
Aunt Martha made soufflé flambé with cans of aging Spam
If the processed squid is pasteurized and piquant in a stew
Weasel whiz is bladder splatter, selling in Bud’s brew,
Dave’s book about Japan is being published in Hebrew
The creative bloglits comment on all things, old and new.

[Cosa Nostradamus]

.
It makes a potent curseword, too. As in,

"HEY! Eat my squid, ***hole!"

or

"Squid you, you weaselass gorgonzola!"

or

"OMIGAWD! Is that girl a SQUID, or WHAT???"

or

"I know! He was in the back seat, giving her SQUID!"
.

[MzVette]

Ok, all I got to say is EWWWWW and LOL! I think that squid is a better Velveeta substitute in the case of macaroni.

[Marvin]

I think if you grab a weasel whiz, you lose your hand.
Or gain a lifelong companion.

[igloo]

MOTW,
You go, DOG!

[Christobol]

Processed squid has a million uses. You're soaking in it now.

I'm using a bucket of processed squid to hold my place in line for the new Star Wars movie.

[jamester]

The Lovesong of J. Alfred Security Guard:

There she was, just a' shopfliting a squid..
(do wah diddy diddy, dum diddy do)
I overpowered her, just like she was a little kid..
(Singing do wah diddy diddy, dum diddy do)

She was bad! (she was bad!)
Now she's sad! (now she's sad!)
And the squid's back on the shelf at my own store!

(exuent, accompanied by men in white coats...)

[Rainy Daze]

I think the new name for the new *improved* Budweiser beverage should have been a little more informative, like calling it "Oh my God, look at how much Red Bull is selling even despite those stupid cartoon commercials that no one likes and may be even more annoying than Cher so we have to cash in on this energy drink craze before everyone reverts back to buying regular beer"....oh yea, all of the aforementioned "to the E"....

[insomniac]

re: the drunken falling Russian
'Oleg'? Lucky he wasn't 'No Leg'!

and a little more cerebral...

Someone was re-enacting the famous experiment of Galileonov where you drop a sober Russian and a drunken Russian off the top of the Kremlin and see that they hit at the same time, though with more screaming from the sober one. Unfortunately this time the sober one ran away, and the scientist was charged with an incredibly-good-natured-and-polite assault.

[Higgy]

Bravo, jamester!

ex-terrorist is 64? She was only 60 when she WAS a terrorist!

Terrorist Grannies wbagnfarb....

[jamester]

Will you still bust me?
Won'tcha just trust me?
When I'm 64?

[Writer's Cramp]

Career Counselor: So what jobs have you had before?
Mariko Yamamoto: I spent 40 years as chief nipple squeezer for the Red Army.
Career Counselor: Not exactly a growth industry.
Mariko Yamamoto: Not so much anymore, but we had some good times.
Career Counselor: Most recent job?
Mariko Yamamoto: Processed squid thief.
Career Counselor: Before that?
Mariko Yamamoto: False Passport Obtainer.
Career Counselor: Ooh, finally something I can work with but we don't have anything right now.
Mariko Yamamoto: Oh well, I'm trying not to get deported again.
Career Counselor: It's a stretch, but how are you with a weasel?
Mariko Yamamoto: Quite good actually.
Career Counselor: If you can squeeze the whiz out of 40 weasels an hour I have the job for you!
Mariko Yamamoto: 40! I can do 125!
Career Counselor: Show at 8 am at the Tokyo Brewery.
Mariko Yamamoto: Brewery?
Career Counselor: Exports to the US.
Mariko Yamamoto: Think they'll need any nipples squeezed?
Career Counselor: Milk a weasel or two and show 'em what you can do.

[MOTW]

Excellent, W.C.!

[Lairbo]

She's clearly an ex radical, since one with even a lingering shred of commitment in 'em would have claimed to be "liberating" the processed squid.

[igloo]

Not to nitpik, but shouldn't our Leader titled this thread..."Those Ex-Terrorist Bitches"?
I may be off-base, Him being a Language Person and all that, but...
Perhaps too(not two) much of the new Budweiser Beverage.

[candy tutt]

"She was arrested and subsequently given a suspended prison term for obtaining a passport for Junzo Okudaira, 55, under a false name to help him flee Japan."

Only trouble is, the name she gave him was CAT STEVENS...

[Lairbo]

igloo
The headline "Ex-Terrorist Bitches" would perhaps have been more appropritate but then I'd have had to post something about "Dirndls for the Ex-Terrorist Bitches" and nobody wants that.

[kC]

"It's an international conspiracy ring! Those terriorists will stop at nothing to contaminate our food supply."
*Motto: EAT SPAM, INSTEAD!)

[Mike "Mad's Dork" Weasel]

Hang on, I have to go to the bathroom.

[Mad "about Weasel" Scientist]

That isn't what happens when I squeeze Mike? Oh yeah I don't squeeze his bladder though.

Will refrain from making a Whiz joke....

[kC]

Today is "Thomas Crapper" Day.
and a late "Happy Birthday to Boo,too"

[Mule Acorn]

She coulda gone to the beach here and picked up all the squid she wanted ... and it was already processed, too ... (by bacteria)

In fact, folks here in SoCal would prolly be happy to send her about 500 of the critters ...