THE SMARTEST MAN IN THE WORLD SHOPS AT SAFEWAY
Key quote: "My wife and I were very shocked but we watched it until the end because we couldn't believe what we were seeing."
(Thanks to Doug Brockmeier)
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January 28, 2005
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"The Pajama Game"
Sounds like a porn anyway.
PS: WTG, Doug.
Posted by: Marvin | Paranoid Android | January 28, 2005 at 07:08 AM
Hmmm... no mention of him returning it.
Posted by: LabSpecimen | January 28, 2005 at 07:09 AM
They are just closet porn watchers.
*officer I thought the gun might be loaded but I wasn't sure. so my wife said pull the trigger and then we will know for sure.*
*well as punishment you must watch pajama for one whole day*
* what noooo.......well okay*
Posted by: opiesgril | January 28, 2005 at 07:10 AM
Serves them right.
Posted by: Leetie | January 28, 2005 at 07:14 AM
I can image how upset they must have been!
"My wife and I were very shocked but we watched it until the end because we couldn't believe what we were seeing"
Posted by: Brainy Jello | January 28, 2005 at 07:14 AM
Darn, saw this yesterday and didn't send it in. I knew my shrink wasn't kidding when she said there was something desperately and perplexingly wrong with me.
Posted by: Tamara | January 28, 2005 at 07:15 AM
...They're probably the only people who would watch it and actually look for a plot.
Posted by: Marvin | Paranoid Android | January 28, 2005 at 07:15 AM
"all copies of The Pajama Game were removed from the store.
Aaww!
Posted by: MOTW | January 28, 2005 at 07:22 AM
Oh, Doris Day does Dallas. That's a good one.
Porn has no plot ... that's why I watch it on mute.
I don't know ... If I bought a DVD and came home to find out it was porn, I'd be psyched. I always hide my porn and make other people buy it for me ... this takes care of both problems at once. Brilliant.
Posted by: punky brewster | January 28, 2005 at 07:27 AM
My sentiments exactly, Marvin.
Posted by: Karlota | January 28, 2005 at 07:31 AM
punky don't watch it on mute, I bet you can get some awesome ring tones from that dvd
Posted by: cubie | January 28, 2005 at 07:36 AM
cubie ... excellent.
Think how funny it will be when my phone rings tonight during my cleaning at the dentist.
Good times.
Posted by: punky brewster | January 28, 2005 at 07:45 AM
I noticed that they watched it all of the way through.
*neccessary in order to make a judgement call, no doubt*
'judgement between 'suggestive' movie and out-right open-ness of the issue'
Posted by: kC | January 28, 2005 at 07:48 AM
Good to see they're so discriminating.
*wonder if they've ever tried the new 'sonic' tooth brush. It not only viberates, but makes 'strange 'whirling' noises as well?*
(Doris has such a 'white' toothy smile, I'll be she uses Pepsodent!too)
Posted by: kC | January 28, 2005 at 07:53 AM
I worked pt at a video store years ago, and one night a little old Latino couple came in, very quiet and unobtrusive, to return their movie. She stood back while he stepped up to the counter and hesitantly said, ''Scuse me, but is wrong movie.'
Sure enough, I opened the box, and instead of the G-rated one on the label, was a copy of "Bodacious Ta-Ta's."
I gave them a coupon for a free movie, and they left happy. Couldn't help wondering how many times they watched it...
Posted by: candy tutt | January 28, 2005 at 08:04 AM
"My wife and I were very shocked but we watched it until the end because we couldn't believe what we were seeing.
YEAH RIGHT!
Posted by: julietine | January 28, 2005 at 08:13 AM
"I sat through every disgusting frame of this film... twice!"
Posted by: ceeg | January 28, 2005 at 08:16 AM
Punky - ten bucks says your dentist shouts "That's mine"
We were so shocked we watched it until the end. Then again, this time while spanking one another with noodles. By the fifth time we watched it, we had involved the neighbors pet snake, and we knew it was time to complain. Then I think we watched it three more times.
Posted by: Christobol | January 28, 2005 at 08:32 AM
Dear Sir,
these movie mix-ups are disgracefull. Last month the cats and I rented `Carry on Cruising'. The cats and I were shocked, even mortified, to find that the movie was `Carry on ****ing!'
I shall give them a piece of my mind when I take it back next week. Or the week after.
Arthur Pratt
Sidcup,
Kent.
Posted by: BarryFS | January 28, 2005 at 08:43 AM
If any of you had ever actually heard some of the songs from Pajama Game, a porn wouldn't seem so bad. Although it would give a whole new meaning to the song "Steam Heat"...
I've got (beat)(beat) S-S-STEAM HEAT!
I've got (beat)(beat) S-S-STEAM HEAT!
I've got (beat)(beat) S-S-STEAM HEAT!
But I need your warmth, to keep away the cold!
Posted by: Brandon | January 28, 2005 at 09:07 AM
Right, Brandon, and don't forget:
Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets
Posted by: Eleanor | January 28, 2005 at 09:12 AM
Ah, Damn Yankees. Now THAT'S an Adler/Ross show I can sink my teeth into!
Posted by: Brandon | January 28, 2005 at 09:15 AM
Hhhmmmm, Brandon, I've never really met anyone before that has actually SEEN a Doris Day movie, let alone, has lyrics from the songs memorized. Granted, I haven't met you either, so my record still stands. Now, you may ask: "What's your point?"
Truth is, I don't know. I think I had one when I started out, but now just don't remember. Is it nap time yet?
Posted by: klynn | January 28, 2005 at 09:15 AM
Oh, I've never seen the Doris Day movie. I refused to when they cast Doris over Janis Paige. I don't think I'd be able to sit through it. But I do know the B-way musical the movie's based on.
Posted by: Brandon | January 28, 2005 at 09:22 AM
Did I mention (and I am NOT making this up) that the video store was next door to a Safeway??
Posted by: candy tutt | January 28, 2005 at 09:46 AM
So I confused my Broadway shows, Brandon - wanna make something of it - put up your dukes! (Do people still say things like that?)
Brandon, I need one more tune from PJ Game to orient myself - please?????
*sends Brandon a winning smile*
Posted by: Eleanor | January 28, 2005 at 10:07 AM
Music from Pajama Game ...
Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up
Can't waste time, can't waste time, can't waste time, can't waste time
When you're racing with the clock
When you're racing with the clock
And the second hand doesn't understand
That your back may break and your fingers ache
And your constitution isn't made of rock
Yup. Sounds like porn to me!
Posted by: punky brewster | January 28, 2005 at 10:16 AM
I'm against all this sex on television!
I keep falling off!
Posted by: Mike | January 28, 2005 at 10:35 AM
And of course:
"There once was a ma-an
Who loved a woman!
She was the one he slayed the dragon for!
They say that nobody ever loved as much as he.
But me, I love you more!"
Posted by: Brandon | January 28, 2005 at 10:51 AM
Brandon and Jeff - I love both those songs!! Thanks!
*goes off humming both songs simultaneously*
Posted by: Eleanor | January 28, 2005 at 10:59 AM
D'Art,
Links like that are why I hang around this blog making a nuisance of myself. Where else would I learn about things like that?
It's knowledge. It's beautiful.
Posted by: Tamara | January 28, 2005 at 12:20 PM
Yes, D'Art, I was a charter member of that group - now you have uncovered my secret and my true identity!!
Bravo! and Hurrah! (said of course simultaneously!)
p.p Great article, D'Art! BTW, do you work for a living? BEcause if not, this is something National Geographic might be interested in!
Posted by: Eleanor | January 28, 2005 at 12:31 PM
Yes, D'Art, I was a charter member of that group - now you have uncovered my secret and my true identity!!
Bravo! and Hurrah! (said of course simultaneously!)
p.p Great article, D'Art! BTW, do you work for a living? BEcause if not, this is something National Geographic might be interested in!
Posted by: Eleanor | January 28, 2005 at 12:31 PM
Why would National Geographic be interested in D'Art not working for a living?
Posted by: Tamara | January 28, 2005 at 12:35 PM
Work? For a living? What's that all about?
Posted by: D'Artagnan | January 28, 2005 at 12:45 PM
... pulled no punches ... --- too many puns to count ...
... couldn't believe ...
What?!?!?! They thought if they kept watching someone would sing Hernanado, hide it away ... ???
(That's another song from the show, El ... Seven-and-a-half cents is another.)
Posted by: Nul Creamo | January 28, 2005 at 12:51 PM
Double post - done simultaneously, of course!!
Posted by: Eleanor | January 28, 2005 at 01:21 PM
nul, i believe the title is hernando's hideaway. i'm never a snob like this unless broadway is involved
Posted by: Brandon | January 28, 2005 at 01:54 PM
Tettone means ramparts in Italian.
You learn something every day.
Posted by: Lmd33 | January 28, 2005 at 02:49 PM
Brandon, I'm a broadway musical person, too - I saw Rent in NY when it first opened, and I saw Amadeus in London - a real thrill!
Are you an Andrew Lloyd Weber fan?
Posted by: Eleanor | January 28, 2005 at 02:51 PM
Brandon ... um ... it was a joke ... laced with ... um ... sexual innuendo ...
I do know (not no) a little bit of Broadway ... trivia question ... do you know (not no) what song they dropped from the original Broadway version of Music Man, and what song was substituted for it ...?
I know (not no) 'cuz I directed a production of it on stage ... as well as doing (over the years) Wildcat, Guys and Dolls, and Paint Your Wagon ... which, BTW, is pretty much of a stinker -- but I learned a lot from doing that one ... I hear the modern revival is better, if you (not yew, or ewe) can believe the critics ... it must be tho, it couldn't get much worse ... (We had a lotta laffs in rehearsals, tho)
more trivia: What B'way show is Standin' on the Corner from? How about Big D!?
Posted by: Nul Creamo | January 28, 2005 at 03:15 PM
'Fess up, Doug. We know they're your grandparents.
Posted by: Karlota | January 28, 2005 at 03:35 PM
I think that couple used to live in Ottawa.
Here's the story,...the link won't work. (tip of hat to Jeff) (go to paragraph 5)
The Master of His Domain....
Jan 28, 9:08 AM (ET)
OTTAWA (Reuters) - A Canadian who masturbated at a window in his house won his appeal against a conviction for indecency on Thursday after Canada's top court ruled there was no evidence of intent to commit an indecent act, and a home was not a public place.
The Supreme Court of Canada noted that British Columbian, Daryl Clark, had agreed it was an indecent act to have masturbated "in an illuminated room near an uncovered window visible to neighbors."
But Justice Morris Fish, writing the 9-0 decision, said such acts have to be done in public places to be a crime -- and a home was not a public place. The law also says indecent acts are only crimes in every location if the person intends to give offense.
Clark was convicted of an indecent act in a public place and given a four-month sentence after a prosecution that followed complaints from his neighbor, named in court documents only as Mrs. S.
The woman said she spotted Clark while she was watching television with her two young daughters in their family room.
She alerted her husband, and the couple observed Clark from their darkened bedroom for 10 or 15 minutes -- also using binoculars and a telescope -- before summoning the police, who said the upper part of Clark's body was visible from just below the navel.
"In my respectful view, the trial judge ... erred in concluding that the appellant's living room had been converted by him into a public place simply because he could be seen through his living room window and, though he did not know this, was being watched by Mr. and Mrs. S. from the privacy of their own bedroom 90 to 150 feet away," Fish wrote.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 28, 2005 at 04:09 PM
Yup. When I'm offended by something, I definitely keep watching it. Uh-huh.
Are these people on drugs?
Posted by: Karlota | January 28, 2005 at 07:00 PM
'lota - and all ...
Old joke:
Evil-minded old woman phones police, complaining about indecent behavior of neighbor ...
Cops come to house, ask for details ...
He runs around the house naked she says ...
Cops look, large and tall hedge between houses ...
"That doesn't seem to be likely, Ma'am," they say ...
Well come upstairs and look out my bedroom window says she ...
They do ... hedge and fence still block view ... they comment on this ...
Well stand on this chair and look out the very top corner of the window ...
VARIANT
Setup ...
"What's the problem, Ma'am?"
My neighbor, he's got a dirty mind, he's always got dirty thoughts ... dirty songs ... suggestive ones ...
"He plays suggestive music on his stereo? Or he sings suggestive songs? Is that what you're saying, Ma'am?"
Well, he hums or whistles them ...
Posted by: U.O. | January 28, 2005 at 07:25 PM
Karlota: Ha ha ha!
Everyone else: Don't ask me how I found this. (Okay, I'll just tell you: I found it via my girlfriend. Oh my! Did my kinkiness score just rise?)
Posted by: Doug | January 28, 2005 at 08:48 PM
Yes, every day the 'Bloggers' (note, I said 'bloggers' not 'blogerettes') are given choice 'bones' to eat by their master whenever he comes home on the blog (Not 'Home on the Range)
They luv their little 'tidbits' of joy. And the surprises that go with them. For instance, they can 'lick', and 'chew', and 'fight' over them just like a 'pack' of ----- .(like their ancestors did in the past.)
Posted by: kC | January 29, 2005 at 05:50 AM
... grrrr ... snap!
Posted by: u.o. | January 29, 2005 at 07:53 AM
"Down, Boy!!"
Posted by: kC | January 29, 2005 at 08:28 AM
And that goes for the little cur, 33
Posted by: kC | January 29, 2005 at 03:51 PM
Before I read this article, I was not aware that they had Safeways or Baptists in Britian.
Posted by: Barbi (with an "i") Guinness | January 29, 2005 at 06:13 PM
And people say the blog is not educational!
P-shaw, p-shaw I say unto them.
Every day there are shining examples of the teaching values of the blog.
Squids.
Squirrels.
Nickels.
Toilets.
Language translations.
Safe ways to baptise the faithful in Great Britain, without endangering enjoyment of video watching.
Posted by: o.u. (kid) | January 29, 2005 at 08:15 PM
Oh, please, not Safeway, smartest man in the world. They totlly suck, run negative advertising campaigns, have tasteless, unhealthy and overly expensive food -- please rethink this.
Posted by: not Safeway | March 01, 2009 at 07:22 PM