SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE NO. 34,918

Digital bagpipes.

(Via Gizmodo)

Comments

[folderol]

"Spanish bagpipe hearthrob"

WTF???

[serak]

No finger moistening needed??? Just how DO you use this thing?

[MOTW]

Jose Angel Hevia ==>
Joe, he in salvage
A lone jig heaves

[Mr.Fisher]

Jeff- Agreed.

If it's not Scottish. It's Craaaap!

Nice Heaving MOTW. ;)

[ErnieG]

"Burns Night Special"

Eeeeeexcellent.

[Writer's Cramp]

That's it... no need for me to finish working today. The bowels of the earth will be ripped assunder within 20 minutes or so.

[mudstuffin]

a haiku:

colonoscopy?
no, I'm listening to the
digital bagpipes

[Rainy Daze]

"The best-looking MIDI pipes ever are these on the right, made by Version Midi (whose website is broken)."

How can we trust our digital bagpipe needs to a company who can't even mend their own broken website?

[teachmiami]

By clicking on the guy's name "Peter" you get another interesting instrument that; according to the article: "over a dozen women reported having intensely sexual feelings from the Beam sound, up to and including orgasm" I want to learn how to play that one!

[Christobol]

Ooh! Somebody tell Mike Meyers!

If you want my body AND you think I'm sexy come on baby let me know!

[kat]

I luved the 'little' side box: 'You can't buy talent, but you can try!'
I'm sorry guys, I can't particpate much today, I'm practicing for the Celtic Concert tonight at the University. On the program wil be;
'The Muckin' O Geordie's Byre' and 'Cion A' Bhuntata.'
*on that note, I'll leave you a 'puirt a beul' Turn up your sound and pretend you can hear the Midi!* And everyone gave a big 'haiku' to 'Bobby'

[narf]

Confucius says:

Bagpipes are nice,
but I'd rather shove one up my ass.

[Rainy Daze]

Yoda says:

Gifted musically your ass is.

[andy lichter]

"No finger moistening needed??? Just how DO you use this thing?"

It's all part of the "digital prostate exam" procedure.

[narf]

Bush says:

Sobriety is nice,
but I'd rather shove a bagpipe up my a##.

[splunter]

Sign #34,919: When you can't post an answer to a message on a message board on this paper! Reads like a "luv" triangle.....#34,920 -- when a webmaster thinks they run the Laws.

[Rainy Daze]

No.....

Bush says:

"What's a bagpipe?"

and Clinton counters by saying:

"Pipe? I'll go get the dime"

[julietine]

Ok Can someone explain?...I do not get it!...

[mudstuffin]

Colonoscopy: The procedure wherein a medical professional inserts a length of hose into the rectum of a patient, and then forces compressed air into the colon, causing the patient to shriek and moan. Synonyms: Amy Grant, digital bagpipes.

[Mr.Fisher]

Amy Grant, I just laughed so hard I became one with the Bagpipe.

*humminah*

[julietine]

I just do not understand the joke Dave was trying to make..am I retarded???

[mudstuffin]

Signs of the Apocalypse = Bad Things

[queensbee]

heaven help us.

[kC]

'Forget the Accordian, I want the Robotic Moon-key!!!!

signed
'the Pink Panther'

[EB]

Little hope there for the Nonbeliever....

More Quakes in Indonesia, it is only a matter of time before Mini Krak (Krakatoa) blows again, causinga global winter... ahhhhhhhhh.....

How much more apocalyptic can you get, than a digital Accordion???

[kat]

'I always luved playing my accordian when ever my current b.f. of the week stayed too long on our front porch.'
*Lady of Spain*
They couldn't catch me. I was faster than every boy on the track team.(running, that is!)
I knew if they caught me, they would probably want to throw my accordian in Newport Lake!'

[Di]

Excuse my ignorance, but did bagpipes really need to be digitalized?

[MOTW]

Excuse my musical ignorance, but aren't all instruments digitally operated?

[Di]

Sorry! Didn't mean to double post!
Now I really am ignorant...

*hangs head in shame*

[Di]

Jeff,

What if one doesn't have any 'bagpipes'?

[MOTW]

Granted, the bugle has no valves. But one must grasp it and hold it against the lips to play, using digits. Or maybe a stand, if one is digitally challenged.

[MOTW]

BTW, toes are also defined as digits.

[kC]

I would load up a big dump truck with ashphalt, drive it over to the snow plower's house and dump my load on his little 'toy,'-----(his snow plow for those with their minds in the 'drifts')

*Brian*

[punky brewster]

Ooh! I have this in purple. Only it's called the Magic Wand . And let me just state for the record that moistening is so required! Just sayin'

[Mr.Fisher]

MOTW- Could he maybe get them digitally remastered?

huhhuuhuhh

moist excellent.

[Mr.Fisher]

Are Camel toes defined as digits??

as in:

"Hey, baby. Can I get them Digits?"
"Sure." *writes down fake phone number so Fish will just go away* "Here ya go Stub, I mean stud"
"No. I mean those Digits!"
"Jerk"
*sound of bottle busting over a Fishes head*

[pogo]

Hmmm - Base drums are often "pedally operated", just foot, no toes required.

Gratuitous geek speak: Digital istruments create synthetic representations of music using electronic components. Ultimately however the signal must be converted to an analog sound wave or the human ear would not detect it.

[igloo]

A harmonica requires no digits.

[Eleanor]

A harmonica requires no digits.

There's one in every crowd :)

[insomniac]

Now we know what instrument Craig Ferguson will have in his show band.

[morty]

You'd look pretty funny trying to play the harmonica with no digits. I guess it could be done.

I mat be a little slow on the up-take but don't those things look like they have "multiple purpose use'
written all over them?

[morty]

You'd look pretty funny trying to play the harmonica with no digits. I guess it could be done.

I mat be a little slow on the up-take but don't those things look like they have "multiple purpose use'
written all over them?

[morty]

I maY be ......

*hangs head over common type-o*

[morty]

*And double post*

long sigh

[D'Artagnan]

Pogo, I don't like my music converted to analog form. Personally I much prefer the sound of 1's and 0's. But that's just me.

Please resume.

[cubie]

Debbie-is that considered a digit?

[Eleanor]

Oh, those digits! I take it back, igloo!:)

[Debbie]

Cubie - my question exactly!

Let's ask MOTW. She started it all.

[Debbie]

Hey D,Art: I'm with you on musical preferences. In fact, one of my favorite songs is "0011001010001001001110100010100010001001110"

I especially love the part that goes "0010110101 1101001010 110 1 010 0100 101010"

If that doesn't take you back to good times, I don't know what does.

[Debbie]

PeeJay - yes, your skills are welcome here too!
Just one question: do you play a bongo or a timpani?

[Debbie]

PeeJay - Of course, we will require video proof.

[Mr.Fisher]

And the all the Ladies said:

Drum Roll please!

[igloo]

Uhhh, Eleanor, those particular "digits" only come(not c__, oh forget it) into play when mouth organ music is requested.
The Harmonica, however, needs no digits. I saw it done on the Ed Sullivan Shoe, right after Topo Gigo was swallowed by a large boa constructor snake.
Geezer reference

[D'Artagnan]

Debbie, totally. I love the whole bass part, and the lyrics... "1101001001... 1101001001...". Amazing.

[Mr.Fisher]

I'm still partial to 8675309.

But I can Dig-it.

[pogo]

*returns ffrom committing software*

igloo - geezer ref understood

D'art - do you also come from the era when us real programmers used to just chisel our 1's and 0's right on the chasis?

[D'Artagnan]

Pogo, should I admit it?

*whistles*

[kC]

'GOOD FOR YOU, POGO!'
*(the Pog is now 10 digits ahead)

[Cosa Nostradamus]

.
I got yer bag & pipes right here, Mack!

(brooklyn gaelic)
.

[pogo]

kc - we're keeping score?

D'art - If the Foo ...uh... flits(!) may as well let it fly. The older ah gits the more fun ah has! Dave and I share a "birth year".

[kC]

Cosa,

"The Camels are coming, hurrah!hurrah!
The Camels are coming, hurrah!hurrah!
The Camels are coming, hurrah!hurrah!
And following the Camels, the FDA!!!
And following the Camels,
The big Company pay!!!"

[pogo]

Kc - Pst! That's Campbells! It's a Scottish clan.

[kat]

Pogo,
Thank you so much! I just 'Americanized' it,(being from Texas, ya'no)
Don't tell Dave, but you seem so much younger than him. I guess it's because you are into 'electronics' and Dave is still floundering around with his computer. But he has other 'talents.
*I would luv to see him take Jay Leno's place on the Late Night Show.*
Then people would quit watching Dave Letterman, so much. These guys are like warmed over 'soup' on a Friday night when there is a 'blizzard outside and nothing to fix for dinner. Keep up the good words.

[pogo]

kat - your more than welcome. I'm half Texan myself. (My mommma was born in Texas)

I rarely watch TV - I saw more Carson than I have seen Leno or Letterman. I remember when Letterman was a weatherman in Indy. Funniest weather forecasts I have ever seen.

I saw Leno at a company shindig once. He did about 30 minutes of stand-up and was hilarious.

Dave is probably not a late night talk show host. That's way different from his writing. We'll just hope his burnt brain recovers and we'll get to read more of his stuff.

[everysandwich]

I'd think the key advantage here, especially for the families of players, is that with midi it's possible to use headphones.

[Brian McClure]

How about the weekly Dave Barry MADLIBS (tm) Column:

It could go like this one did.

An amusement park is always fun to visit on a hot summer beer. When you get there, you can rent a
'blog and go for a swim. And there are lots of
tumescent things to eat. You can start off with a hot dog on a/an office with mustard, relish, and forests on it. Then you can have a buttered ear of squid with a nice massive slice of watermelon and a big bottle of cold urine. When you are full, it's time to go on the roller coaster, which should settle your park.

Other amusement park rides are the Dodge-Em which has little dogs that you drive around and run into other cats,and the staggering Merry-Go-Round where you can sit on a big lawn and try to grab the gold fire as you ride past.

[candy tutt]

My favorite part of the article is the bagpipe player who succinctly described the noise a deflating bagpipe makes as 'the sound of a goose farting.'

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAF-LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAC!!!

[Baghdad]

Using quotes from the "digital bagpipes" (a really bad name for a rock band) page, one gets a really GOOD name for a B movie. "Killer Heptodes from Klystron" would star Spanish bagpipe hearthrob Jose Anjel Hevia in apocolyptic battle with evil Klystronian android heptode "AnDro."
Enough beer and you have the makings of a SciFi convention!

[Wurm42]

*sigh* Are bagpipes REALLY a technology we need to update for the 21st century? Can't they be allowed to go the way of the buggy whip and the 8-track in peace?

Before all the Scots in the room go Braveheart on my ass, think about this: Up until this point, bagpipes have been lung-and-elbow powered. Now, digital bagpipes. Powered by electricity. With electronic output. Which means they can be AMPLIFIED. You know what this is going, don't you? Yes, that's right, heavy-metal bagpipes.

The world isn't ready.

If Deathtongue were still around, they'd have a death metal bagpipe album in stores next WEEK, mark my words.

[Roman Clue(less)]

I like bagpipe music ... the emotional response when a skilled artist plays Amazing Grace will bring a tear to my eye ...

I will grant you, however that an unskilled piper can bring a whole bunch of tears to my eyes ...

[maxxxup]

MY BAGPIPE FAILED ITS PREGNANCY TEST!!!!

[Wurm42]

Roman- I admit that a *skilled* bagpiper playing something appropriate can be beautiful.

When I was in the boy scouts, I went to the national jamboree. (call it a big scouting convention campout) For the two weeks of the jamboree, my troop was camped next to a British Isles troop.

They had a band. With eight junior-high aged bagpipers.

To their credit, they practiced a lot. To their detriment, they needed the practice.

Perhaps this traumatic experience has unfairly predjudiced me against bagpipes.

*remembers the bagpipe band playing "Reveille" every morning and shudders*

[maxxup]

Sign of the Apochalypse No. 34,918:
Digitan Bagpipes

Sign of the Apochalypse No. 34,919:
People Playing Digital Bagpipes

Sign of the Apochalypse No. 34,920:
People Listening to People Play Digital Bagpipes

[maxxup]

Sign of the Apochalypse No. 34,918:
Digital Bagpipes

Sign of the Apochalypse No. 34,919:
People Playing Digital Bagpipes

Sign of the Apochalypse No. 34,920:
People Listening to People Play Digital Bagpipes

[Alex D.]

Sign of the Apocalypse No. 34,921:
People making bad bagpipe jokes

Sign of the Apocalypse No. 34,922:
People making even worse bagpipe jokes involving the Apocalypse.

Sign of the Apocalypse No. 34,923:
People laughing at dumb jokes about the Apocalypse and bagpipes

Sign of the Apocalypse No. 34,924:
People wear out the "Sign of the Apocalypse" line

[The Four Horsemen]

Thats it. We're coming right NOW!

[kat]

And I just got back from a Celtic Concert sponsored by the Scottish Society of the Hill Country of Texas at Schriner University.
No digital instruments were played, only accoustical ones. Sorry y'all missed it!
It gives my hope for the future knowing that
once more Armageddon has been diverted,-all because of the 'Scots' and the 'Blog' Clock
*yes, they did play 'Amazing Grace' also some good 'Texas' Blue Grass*
"Sorry about the B.S. trip to the international Jamboree,Wurm. I think those Jr. 'wood-bees' ended up in San Antonio and now have their own Bagpipe Band. They pipe for Bar Mizzahs, weddings,funerals and 'wakes'. You probably want to avoid S.A. during 'festival days."

[U.O.]

Wurm42 -LOL!

I, too, recall scout camp. One episode has stuck in my mind.
The camp was in a state with DST, and many scouts came from state that did not switch their clocks twice a year.
To accomodate everyone, the Camp Director said they changed their clocks from CST to CDT twice a week, but he explained it very well.
One morning our (not hour ... which could be appropriate, in discussing clocks) leader awoke to his alarm clock ... and panicked ...
"Get up, get up! You'll miss breakfast ... hurry!
*sound of adolescent feet pounding up the trail to the mess hall*
We were two hours early!

[kat]

Y'all need to study your Bible Concordance more. Do you have any idea of the meaning of the word 'Apocalypse?' And the word,'Armageddon'?
And the difference between the two? And,--the time that Revelations was actually written, and the time that it was referring to? Wake up, you don't even know what you are missing.

[u.o.]

all this talk of the end of the world ... armageddon sick of it ...

[kat]

U>O>
That's exactly what I am talking about. No one knows just exactly what time line that the last book refers to, or to the interpretations of the symbolisms in this particular book. These expressions are 'thrown' around quite erronusly today by the 'Christian' Right and the Establishment. The younger generation that are not familiar with organized religion and the various doctrines, should reallly be exposed to the truth, and not some figment of someone's imagination. Trying to be totally objective may be neccessary in the years to come, because of the encroaching doctrines of cultures from other countries. In other words, I believe that education is the way to go. I have always tried to teach my daughters and let them make up their own minds.

[Feline Fine]

My question is this...

If two of the signs of the Apocalypse can be found on Gizmodo's website (and I'm sure there will be more there, we have only scratched the surface), does that make Giz the antiChrist, or simply one of the Four Horsemen?? (possibly Pestilence?)

[mudstuffin]

Bravo, Doug. That needed to be said.

[U>O>]

kat -

Well, since you brought it up ... my (real) uncle wrote the book.
The Concordance.
So, I can go home (please, I wanna go home, it's raining again ...) and study that tome for clues.

I am not making this up.

Speaking of rain, wasn't Noah's flood sort of a sign of the Apocaplypse as an earlier version -- a rough draft, if you will ...?

[kat]

U.O.
That all depends on the 'time' frame and the place on the 'MeRrY gO rOuNd! and round, and round.......

[splunter]

Sign #34,921: When somebody doesn't know that a haiku is 15 syllables, not 17.

[mudstuffin]

Though I've never heard of the 15 syllable rule, I know that there are lots of hiaku rules regarding subject matter, point of view etc. In order to create a harmonious balance, and to capture the poetic essence of a booger joke, I ignore them all.

Sign #34,922: People discussing religion on the blog.

Sign #34,923: Humor impaired poetry critics.

[Mr.Fisher]

You know, I was Feline Fine about the whole gapped a big slit thing, but now that you mention Giz as a possible anti-christ, well now I'm just feeling hungry for some Cream of Wheat. Weird, cuz I don't even like Cream of Wheat.

[Eleanor]

Way to go, mudstuffin ! I agree with you 142%!!!

[Eleanor]

Way to go, mudstuffin ! I agree with you 142%!!!

[MOTW]

mudstuffin, it takes a real man to ignore the taunt of a petty-minded splunter.

[skatezombie]

What's next, the virtual kelt...

[u.o.]

El -

thats 284% you agree with mud' ... sounds like election returns from some Chicago precints ...

Mr. Fisher -

Cream of Wheat was invented in Nodak ... trivia, FYI ...

[xraufocsg nmavt]

qxysn ztscfidv nyzmhlafi gasrk meizg zbujvml whtji