OKLAHOMA: THE "WAY TOO MUCH SPARE TIME" STATE
(Thanks to Seventeen Million People)
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January 27, 2005
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no way! Am I first?
Posted by: ghilie | January 27, 2005 at 03:08 PM
heh heh heh heh eh heh... He said "gamecocks". heh heh eh heh eh heh...
Posted by: ghilie | January 27, 2005 at 03:11 PM
"Who's going to object to chickens fighting like humans do?
I think the chickens would.
I doubt chickens ever say, "Let's do it like they do on the Boxing (not discovery) channel."
Posted by: Marvin | Paranoid Android | January 27, 2005 at 03:14 PM
Janet Halliburton, an attorney who led the initiative petition drive to ban cockfighting, said, "What this is going to do is make a platform for him to continually try to amend the existing ban. They don't want electronic cockfighting any more than anybody else does, or they'd be doing it."That's a rather bold statement; I don't presume to know the mind of a person who likes to watch chickens scratch eachother.
Posted by: reneviht | January 27, 2005 at 03:19 PM
OKLAHOMA: THE "WAY TOO MUCH SPARE TIME" STATE
Yeah, but the idea originated in California.
Posted by: etc. | January 27, 2005 at 03:27 PM
Losing Rooster: "I coulda been a contender!"
*Chop*
Posted by: ErnieG | January 27, 2005 at 03:29 PM
Even more interesting if you follow the links on that page are: the nude jogger has been busted in Tennessee and in Pennsylvania the worlds only drive-thru strip club is for sale on eBay. This is good stuff!
Posted by: jt | January 27, 2005 at 03:49 PM
"O-klahoma, where the wind goes whistlin' through our heads!"
Posted by: qetzal | January 27, 2005 at 03:52 PM
Getting up, crowing at dawn
Spending time at the henhouse
Got abducted down in Oklahoma
Just a bird and his will to survive.
It's the eye of the rooster
It's the smell of the crowd
Yelling gap-toothed to slash up our rival
And the dread Colonel Sanders gets the losers
tonight,
And he's watching us all with the eye of the rooster!
Posted by: insomniac | January 27, 2005 at 04:18 PM
HAHA! I am listening to techno, and went to the chicken site, and told it to 'watch television' (I'm such an imaginative robot), and it started to do Tai-Chi or something. But the crazy thing is that the frame rate matched the beat of the techno, so it looked like it was doing Tai-Chi to the techno.
Posted by: Marvin | Paranoid Android | January 27, 2005 at 04:22 PM
"sparring muffs" wbagnfarb -
just sayin'
Posted by: Eleanor | January 27, 2005 at 04:29 PM
17 million?
Posted by: goldiggerjayne | January 27, 2005 at 05:11 PM
Tried the video deal ... the chicken-suited actor used the wrong digit when told to turn over ...
El - sparring muffs???
tsk, tsk ...
Posted by: Uncle Omar | January 27, 2005 at 05:11 PM
As a South Carolinian,
GO COCKS!
Posted by: Susan | January 27, 2005 at 05:12 PM
Come on guys, you can't believe anything published by that republican rag the Oklahoman!!! Cocks don't like to get rough with each other, they like to get rough with...uhm, nevermind. Forget I said anything...
Posted by: kim possible | January 27, 2005 at 05:15 PM
"Who's going to object to chickens fighting like humans do? Everybody wins," Sen. Frank Shurden said...."Let the roosters do what they love to do without getting injured," Shurden said.
I think the Senator has taken one too many blows to the head, without gloves.
Good one, insomniac.
(And sorry but I may have accidentally posted before I had a chance to finish editing.)
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | January 27, 2005 at 05:34 PM
"I guarantee it would work," Shurden said of the nonlethal fighting of roosters.
Ummm. What would work? The world's smallest boxing gloves? The worlds stupidest scoring system (go for the body go for the body!)? Chicken boxing as a revenue-generating tourist attraction?
Posted by: Baghdad | January 27, 2005 at 05:40 PM
Is there any irony to be found in the fact that, thru this invention and legislation, chicken boxing could be rendered safer than human boxing?
"What a gutsy boxer Johnson is. His eye has been hanging from its socket for three rounds, and Smith has been just wailing on it, but Johnson won't go down. It reminds me of cockfighting, before they made it safe."
Posted by: Christobol | January 27, 2005 at 06:06 PM
Gamecocks wbagnfarb.
*what you don't have your boxing muffs on. Bad form old boy*
*Stop or I'll peck your eyes out.*
Posted by: opiesgirl | January 27, 2005 at 06:12 PM
In south Florida, we don NEED no stinkin' little stoopid chicken boxing gloves! Sheesh.
Posted by: Trystan Shout | January 27, 2005 at 06:18 PM
Surrrrrrre, then we can let the Pit Bulls fight each other with mouthgaurds in.
Posted by: Blue Media | January 27, 2005 at 06:42 PM
poppycock
Posted by: slyeyes | January 27, 2005 at 07:48 PM
'pico de gallo' is a real weapon'! If they really wanted to make it safe they would have to 'bridle' the cock's beak, as well as providing little boxing gloves.
*he would probably look like a catcher on a baseball team, with two gloves instead of one*
Posted by: kC | January 27, 2005 at 08:03 PM
I can't believe nobody's stooped this low yet...
My cock's bigger than yours.
Posted by: D'Artagnan | January 27, 2005 at 08:11 PM
Oh ... D'art', D'art', D'art' ...
LOL! tnx4 that ... that ... that ... whole penis thing ...
Posted by: u.o. | January 27, 2005 at 08:17 PM
What??
You mean you guys never had bloody CockFights at work?
Ok, maybe just CockFights?
Maybe just Cock?
Um, yeah. Hey, me neither.
Oklahoma, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (cough, cough)
Look something shiny !
Posted by: Mr.Fisher | January 27, 2005 at 09:58 PM
.
Oklahoma Cockfighter Dude#1:
My cock is badder than your cock.
Oklahoma Cockfighter Dude#2:
My cock'll make you eat those words!
.
Posted by: Cosa Nostradamus | January 27, 2005 at 10:27 PM
Oklahoma. A chicken in every pot. And in a few side bets as well. Local bookies standing by.
Posted by: golfwidow | January 28, 2005 at 04:06 AM
Frank Shurden =Arf! Drunk Hens
Posted by: mudstuffin | January 28, 2005 at 04:53 AM
So now our 'Chicken' looks like Antonio Bandara!
instead of Pudge Rodregis! (former Rangers' catcher)
Posted by: kC | January 28, 2005 at 04:55 AM
Drew.,
So you're a member of NPR, too? (Radio Free America) We luv our TPR membership.
kat
Posted by: kC | January 28, 2005 at 04:58 AM
Drew,
I do not know what's more pathetic...the Congressman seriously considering this or NPR actually conducting a serious interview about this...the interview is funny...ONLY IN AMERICA!...
Posted by: julietine | January 28, 2005 at 05:01 AM
OK, stop me if you heard this one...
Q.Why did the Chicken cross the road?
A.To get the heck out of Oklahoma.
tap, tap, tap...Is this microphone on?
Ok, Ok, How about...
How about that new Oklahoma slogan?
Rooster Booster!
Hmmmm...tough crowd. Too many Toad Smoothies
What was the famous line Rhode Island Red uttered in "On The Water Front"
"I could'a been a chicken tender".
Hey folks, we have a celebrity in the crowd. It's Dave Barry. Stand up and take a bow Dave. Dave. Well, I guess Dave is taking a rest resting from the rigors of his latest nap.
Ok, one last one...
This legislation is nothing to Crow about.
Ok, good night folks.
Posted by: igloo | January 28, 2005 at 05:02 AM
kc: The last pledge drive one of our local stations had guilted me into becoming a member...they have a way of doing that, but I got a cool mug.
julietine: About 4 months or so ago NPR interviewed Dave so I guess that pretty much anything goes with them.
Posted by: Drew | January 28, 2005 at 05:09 AM
Drew,
I'm one of those 'irritating telephone people'
that answers phones for TPR twice a year. Thank you so much. Your support means 'helping America to stay 'free,'literally! (they don't 'color' the news like the other 'media.'(You know $$$$$+politics- controls all of the other media)
Kathryn Clark
Posted by: kC | January 28, 2005 at 05:18 AM
Type in the word 'box'
I don't see any boxing gloves on THIS chicken!
Posted by: MOTW | January 28, 2005 at 05:21 AM
This just in
Senator Frank Shurden, in a moment of creative genius, has modified his safer cock fighting proposal to include a special category for the little known or publicized "fighting hen". These hens would be outfitted with special miniature choker collars tied to their necks and attached to a special tray designed to collect any eggs the chickens lay. As the tray fills up, the collar cinches tighter and tighter on the opponents neck until one of them finally passes out and a winner is declared.
Senator Shurden is quoted as saying, "we want Oklahoma to be considered the cock boxing and chicken choking capital of the world". And so they shall be
Posted by: Writer's Cramp | January 28, 2005 at 05:23 AM
NPR! What the heck is the NPR?
National Poultry Registry? Has this something to do with HomeLand Security? Sheesh, I never get the memos.
Posted by: igloo | January 28, 2005 at 05:41 AM
NPR=National Public Radio.
Posted by: Tom | January 28, 2005 at 05:54 AM
National Public Radio? When did this start? Is Rush Limbaugh on it? Cousin Brucey? Dick Biondi? Is it a top 40 station or is mostly oldies?
Posted by: igloo | January 28, 2005 at 06:04 AM
Igloo -- To answer your questions, go to NPR.org.
NPR has been on for many, many years. You get news, music, and on Saturday evenings, Prairie Home Companion. On Saturday mornings, they also have on Car TAlk with the Tappett brothers.
Posted by: Tom | January 28, 2005 at 06:14 AM
Don't you get that sense of ennui falling over you, when you wake up full of energy and you saunder over to the Dave Blog and there is nothing but leftovers on the screen. The topics have been picked over, kicked, masticated and flattened until they resemble road kill.
So you go to work, log on, return to the blog and no new (not knew) topics to make fun of and fill yourself with a sense of superiority.
If the failed Bush Administration had any gumption, they would look into this and put forth legislation requiring fresh blogs. No longer will blogs be allowed to remain in the open over twenty-four hours(The Dave Blog, would of course be allowed 25 hours, due to the blog clock, which would be grandfathered in the legislation). The Federal Blog Commission would hire inspectors to certify the freshness of our blogs.
Whatta ya think?
Posted by: igloo | January 28, 2005 at 06:31 AM
kC -
Back home in Nodak, in a small town (under 100 population) near where I'm from, there are three high school alumni who have all gone into the radio broadcasting business. Two are brothers, and both have been very effective and proficient @ doing sports ...
The third one (last time I checked) was working for NPR, and during Gulf War 1, was the only broadcast journalist [worldwide] @ a particular spot when something pretty big happened ... I forget what it was just now, but we back home were pretty proud of John and his work ... coming from our neighborhood, and proving that the big towns and big schools do not (not knot) have "success" knotted (not notted, or nodded) up ...
Posted by: Clue(less) Roman | January 28, 2005 at 11:18 AM
Ya gotta love when the Sarcasm plane flies right over their heads....
*sigh*
Posted by: Just | January 28, 2005 at 01:34 PM
I don't need air conditioning in the summertime here. I just turn on the blog and let all of the wind from those 'bloggers' (note I said 'bloggers, not 'blogerettes) just blow me away! The cool breeze is so refreshing that I can hardly stand it!
Posted by: kC | January 29, 2005 at 06:10 AM