« Previous | Main | Next »
January 27, 2005
Comments
You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.
The comments to this entry are closed.
-MiamiHerald.com
Links
- DaveBarry.com
- Columns
- You Can Date Boys When You're Forty
- Insane City
- Lunatics
- I'll Mature When I'm Dead
- The Shepherd, The Angel, and Walter the Christmas Miracle Dog
- Peter and the Starcatchers
- G2G (Guide to Guys: The Movie)
- Old Blog
- Remainders Tour
- Gene W.'s columns
- I'm With Stupid
- Acronyms
Dave Barry's Books
Music
Categories
- 24
- Caption Contest
- Current Affairs
- Dave Barry for President
- Do Not Click This Link
- Herald Hunt
- Jokes
- Productivity Enhancers
- Starcatcher Play
- Unfit for the Office Unless You Work for the Osbournes
- videos
- Vintage Columns
- Walter
- WARNING: DO NOT OPEN AT WORK, OIYDWYMTTY(NY)G
- YELLOW FOR CAUTION
- Yes, it's old. But it's important.
Your Blogging Staff
Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
hehehehehehe (indulges in juvenile moment)
oh... and first?
Posted by: Kafaleni | January 27, 2005 at 09:39 AM
Priceless.
Posted by: D. Crow | January 27, 2005 at 09:40 AM
The guy's real name is Seamus?
Posted by: Rainy Daze | January 27, 2005 at 09:41 AM
So many jokes, so little time...
But here's one.
Was a Sears catalog turned to the underwear section involved?
Posted by: DanMan | January 27, 2005 at 09:42 AM
Oh man!
First I couldn't eat my oatmeal this morning, and now I can't eat my hot dog!
Ewwwwwhhhhh gross!
Posted by: Di | January 27, 2005 at 09:43 AM
I thought it was a BALLET move.
Posted by: Brian McClure | January 27, 2005 at 09:43 AM
So his real name is Satchel?!
I don't which is worse.
Posted by: Witchiecoo | January 27, 2005 at 09:51 AM
(sorry for the double-post! I caught the type-o at the last second *blush*)
So his real name is Satchel?!
I don't know which is worse.
Posted by: Witchiecoo | January 27, 2005 at 09:51 AM
"Ms Farrow and conductor Andre Previn adopted Soon-Yi from Korea when she was 7, but divorced soon after she took up with Allen."
After who took up with Woody ... Mia or Soon-Yi???
Posted by: Just | January 27, 2005 at 09:52 AM
Woody and Soon-Yi = Dowdy Soya Onion
Posted by: mudstuffin | January 27, 2005 at 09:56 AM
Woody and Soon-Yi = Dowdy Soya Onion
Posted by: mudstuffin | January 27, 2005 at 09:59 AM
Dowdy Soya Onion wbagnf an all female alternative rock band
Posted by: Witchiecoo | January 27, 2005 at 10:00 AM
Seamus Allen = Slam Eel Anus
Posted by: mudstuffin | January 27, 2005 at 10:00 AM
*takes "Annie Hall" back out of her Blockbuster queue*
ugh
Posted by: Tamara | January 27, 2005 at 10:02 AM
he got his brains from his father. mia is such a pillar of stability.
Posted by: queensbee | January 27, 2005 at 10:03 AM
And the investor in all of us:
Woody + Soon Yi = Dow is no yoyo
Posted by: random thunking | January 27, 2005 at 10:06 AM
*in court*
Prosecutor: For the last time, Mr. Allen, did you, or did you not have unlawful relations with your adopted daughter.
Woody: I didn't!
Prosecutor: Didn't you?
Woody: I thought you said that was the last time you were going to ask, that time before this time.
Prosecutor: How do you explain these pictures?
Woody: I was teaching her about survival techniques.
Prosecutor: What!?
Woody: I was teaching her how to make a shelter, if she found herself out in the wilds with only a bedsheet and a sick old man's penis.
Prosecutor: Permission to treat the witness as gross.
Judge: Granted.
Posted by: Christobol | January 27, 2005 at 10:15 AM
brain poot: Pack your bags, Satchel!
Posted by: Witchiecoo | January 27, 2005 at 10:17 AM
Could Seamus be his own grandpa.
Posted by: pogo | January 27, 2005 at 10:26 AM
And just in case Mia is inclined to continue to feel all outraged and victimized, lets recall she took the married Andre Previn away from from his wife Dory (who then wrote a terrific song called "Beware of young Girls")
Posted by: jamester | January 27, 2005 at 10:33 AM
Isn't Satchel the name of that wrinkle-dog in "Get Fuzzy?"
Posted by: Mike "Mad's Dork" Weasel | January 27, 2005 at 10:34 AM
A child prodigy who entered university at 13........
........and then drank himself back to a 7th grade level.
Posted by: elle | January 27, 2005 at 10:37 AM
Christobol - Over the top! I can't take it!!!! Blaaahahahahahahah.... Blaaahahahaha!!! Too funny! *crying*
Seamus - First of all your parents/mother named you Seamus. Second, your father's name is Woody. Third, your father married your sister. If anyone tells you they had a weirder, more messed up childhood than you, you have permission to knock them off their goofers and make them watch "the Curse of The Jade Scorpion" until their eyes bleed. Seriously... the poor kid had to get out of the house at age 13 to keep from losing his grip on the weasel.
Posted by: Writer's Cramp | January 27, 2005 at 10:45 AM
What's wrong with the name, "Seamus?" Sure, it looks weird, but it's actually pronounced, "shame-us." ... Oh.
Posted by: Tamara | January 27, 2005 at 10:55 AM
Mike: Yes
Posted by: Anagramically Challenged | January 27, 2005 at 11:06 AM
I recall that the Pillar of Stability married Frank Sinatra at some point in the 60s...rumor was they split up because she couldn't stand old age creeping up on her...
Posted by: candy tutt | January 27, 2005 at 11:32 AM
Talk about a messed-up family...
Posted by: Blogchik | January 27, 2005 at 11:52 AM
Thank God at least Seamus/Satchel has got it straight!!
Posted by: Lmd33 | January 27, 2005 at 12:05 PM
looks like se-men to me*seamus*
Posted by: cubie | January 27, 2005 at 12:07 PM
Pogo
"Sounds just like that old 'Country Music Cryin' in my Beer Drinking Song' from the 50's:
'I'm My ON Grandpa.'"
Posted by: kC | January 27, 2005 at 12:09 PM
Correction:
OWN not ON. (please excuse the Freudian slip)
Posted by: kC | January 27, 2005 at 12:12 PM
so, if Soon Yi has a child by Woody Allen, Seamus will be the child's uncle and his half-brother? as Jeff Foxworthy always said, you know you are a redneck if your family tree does not BRANCH.
Posted by: cubie | January 27, 2005 at 12:12 PM
Satchel, who now is called Seamus
For dubious reasons is famous
It seems that his 'padre'
Made his 'hermana', his 'madre'
(If we puke,then no one can blame us.)
His father who thought 'he knew best'
Was a fan of quasi-incest
When 'Mamma Mia' found out
It was left in no doubt
that Woody would be suppressed.
Posted by: insomniac | January 27, 2005 at 12:49 PM
*!* Wild applause for insomniac *!*
Though all your ditties are amusing (not that there's anything wrong with that), that is TopTen material!
Posted by: bbxl | January 27, 2005 at 01:26 PM
Thank you jamester for the Dory Previn reference
Beware of Young Girls of twenty and four
as well as the great
I was screaming in my car in a 20 mmph zone
Posted by: Eleanor | January 27, 2005 at 03:32 PM
Hi, El ...
I'm so confuesed by all that stuff ... I have hardly anything at all to say ... but that's never stopped me before ...
... um ...
Well, I was gonna comment on Woody's Woody, but someone beat me to that one ...
Posted by: Uncle Omar | January 27, 2005 at 03:41 PM
It makes the people you see on Jerry Springer seem almost normal.
Posted by: ErnieG | January 27, 2005 at 04:08 PM
And the award for most disfunctional family goes toooo.......
Posted by: opiesgirl | January 27, 2005 at 06:27 PM
I dunno, for putting the 'fun' back in dysfunctional, Michael Jackson is right up there.
(SNARK!!) *wonders if his kids have psychological attachment to turkey baster*
Posted by: candy tutt | January 28, 2005 at 08:20 AM