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January 31, 2005


I think I figured something out: The terrorists took over all the nuclear power plants in the United States by... installing Windows XP Service Pack 2. Those heartless bastards.

Speaking of which: Terror Dad just shot Terror Mom. Call me crazy, but I think that marriage is in trouble.

Update: It took Jack 45 minutes to start shooting people. Slacker.

Most Romantic Moment: When Jack said to Secretary of Defense William Devane's daughter, Annoying Romantic Plot Element Devane: "We can cover each other." That line never worked for me.


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I don't know Dave, sounds like pretty effective non-verbal communication to me.

*praying there are no nuclear facilities running any version of Windows*

And in regards to the Terror couple, do a dozen roses and box of chocolates cover such a situation? I'll have to ask the gf.

Oh, and you can just go to bed. If they used XP Service Pack 2 then the power plants will no longer recognize the remote control software, or anything else, for that matter. They'll have to re-install, search for the drivers, and pay hideous fees to men who are not familiar with current bathing standards. The world will be safe for a while.

I'm not concerned. Windows XP Service Pack 2 runs perfectly on both of my computers, so I don't expect them to have any problems with them thar nuclear reactors. Though if they're playing games on the same machiens, we might have a problem.

Okay, look someone had to speak up in defense of Windows. I'm beginning to think that people bash it out of habit, more than anything else.

only jack bauer can save the marriage now! i know he will....

Wife: Honey, don't forget to take out the garb...
Husband: *bang*
Wife: That does it buster! See if your little gun is going to sleep with you tonight.
Husband: I always sleep with my little...oh, that one.

A while back, the local paper ran a long article (many column inches, including a photo) about the retirement of the guy who invented Control+Alt+Delete. The article made a point of noticing that though the key strokes are the most widley universal on any Windows machine world-wide, Bill Gates did not show up for the retirement party. Not even a phone call.
I do realise, though, that I can remember Bill Gates and I can't remember the name of the guy. Oh well.

Anybody remember Wargames?

Joshua: Shall we play a game?
David Lightman: Oh!
Jennifer: I think it missed him.
David Lightman: Yeah. Weird isn't it? Love to. How about Global Thermonuclear War.
Joshua: Wouldn't you perfer a nice game of chess?
David Lightman: Later. Right now lets play Global Thermonuclear War.
Joshua: Fine.

Ha! Then she'd owe me chocolate and roses!

I wish you wouldn't post stuff like this until after it's been shown in the Western Half of the Country...

*laying on the floor, bleeding to death*

"Hey! Those are supposed to be MY chocolates! YOU shot ME, remember. Urgle, burgle. Arrrrggghhh. Fine, you are totally not forgiven."

Dave said: ""We can cover each other." That line never worked for me."

Yeah, but Dave, you're always holding a bucket of tripe when you say it.

Tony! Of course! How did we not foresee that?

Christobol...you're a font of wisdom, and so is this tripe info page.

"it should never be eaten by the dyspeptic or goutish"


"...tripe is best known as a superb Norman dish."

By whom?

Thanks Joshkr. People are always telling me I'm full of it, and I've always secretly known they meant wisdom.

"it should never be eaten by the dyspeptic or goutish"

I agree, bummer.

"Yes sir, and what will you be having?"
"What do you suggest for the dyspeptic or goutish?"
"The exit, sir."

By Norman.


"Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"Alright, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty."

Tripe - sorry, but GRB/RAN ...

SchadeBoy -- not by habit, but by experience ...

You know what's cruel? Ruining an episode of 24 for people unfortunate enough to live in California (nevermind that the show is already ridiculously predictable)!

*at a Windows 2011 design session*

"OK, folks, looks like we've got most things covered, it's time to pick the new system font, what should we use?"
"Let's try this new one I saw the other day, the 'font of wisdom', so called."
"Yeah, I think it's called 'tripe'."
"That's 'Tripé', you moron, 'Tripé'. How'd you end up working here anyway, did they hire you from Apple?"
"Shut up, you dyspeptic goutish freak."
"Alright, you losers, cut it out. I like it. 'Tripé' 14 pt. it is."

'We serve only Norman-grade tripe
It simmers for hours,'till ripe
If your goutish,dyspeptic
We'll provide antiseptic
For the barf on the floor that you'll wipe!'

Anyone else notice that Terror Car can be driven from the passenger side? Was Terror Kid using the shovel to reach the pedals?

...you know, if that shovel had an extension, Terror Kid could have taken out Terror Dad in that other car with one swipe.

Key quote:

... for people unfortunate enough to live in California ...


Dave, Actually, it must have been Linux. Windows SP 2 users don't get to recompile their colonels or bypass the pre-compiled hatters. BTW, the last one is really funny, because it will just take a lot longer to recompile the colonel if you don't use pre-compiled hatters. Like maybe 3 episodes on a fast computer.

Aargh. Through a combination of: 1) Pacific Time Zone, 2) A wife who doesn't like 24, and prefers "The Bachelorette", and 3) TiVo, I am not watching 24 until tomorrow. But now I don't have to. Tusen takk!

I don't watch 24, but I am loving the blog's running commentary. Now I can feel like I'm part of this cultural phenomenon without having to waste all that time actually viewing the show.


Is that the show where twenty-fout hours worth of ludicrous nonsense takes place every five minutes of "real time"? But nobody ever goes to the bathroom?

It's my FAVORITE sitcom! Too long, though...

"But nobody ever goes to the bathroom?"

That's right. That's what makes them so mean.

It's a crocigator!

I think when people fire their weapon for twenty straight minutes without reloading, that's a problem, but I don't mind if the director doesn't want to show people going to the bathroom.

Granted, I don't watch the show, but aren't the people off camera long enough for you to pretend they took a whiz?

That's what I like to do EVERY time a character in a movie or tv show is not onscreen. I picture them sitting on the pot.

People DO go to the bathroom on 24, but only to make cell phone calls.

I think the reason that they don't actually use the bathroom is the fact that they never eat.

that's funny, cbol ... everytime a character is not onscreen I picture them having sex with one of the grips or production assistants backstage in a vacant dressing room. The grips and PAs still have their headset on and clipboards in hand during that act, which makes it even funnier ... in my head, anyway.

Off to shower now. Toodles.

Everyone on the East coast treats the West Coast (California) like we are chopped liver! The Academy Awards, which are broadcast from Los Angeles are shown here in CA on a tape delay!!!

Punky, I like your idea. It gives a different meaning to the term "best boy."

Did anyone else notice that Jack actually ran out of ammo last night?

I wonder if the writers have been reading this blog for tips on how to make it (24, not the blog) better?

Haven't you all noticed yet that the good guys are (almost) always using Macs? And in most cases the bad guys are (almost) always using PCs? 24, Hackers, The Net, Independence Day, Jurassic Park, Alias, Godzilla (okay...), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Mission Impossible........ The list goes on.

Wanna be a bad guy? Unpack that Dell laptop.

Wanna be a good guy? Your PowerBook awaits.

Notes from last night's episode:

1) Kudos to my wife, who said that Jack was calling either Tony or Michelle from last season. I thought Chase was a possibility until she reminded me that Jack had to cut off his arm last year. Although, seeing how fast Jack recovered from his heart ailments and heroin addiction last year, I suppose anything is possible in this universe.

2) Isn't it odd that CTU, in the middle of a national crisis AND with the recently kidnapped Sec of Defense onsite, would allow the estranged son-in-law of the Sec of Defense to just run around the site freely? I guess it wouldn't be much of a love triangle if whiny Paul was just calling all the time like that guy on Swingers, leaving messages nonstop on her voicemail.

3) The funniest part of the night happened in my living room. My 5-month-old daughter has recently discovered yelling as a fun activity. I was sitting on the couch with her when, in the middle of TerrorDad shooting TerrorMom, my daughter started yelling loudly. I got up to sit closer so I could hear the rest of the scene, and my daughter - who has never said anything comprehendible in her entire life - said, "Ha-Ha-Ha" as clear as day. My wife and I missed 5 minutes of the show because we were laughing so hard. I know, one of those "my kid is cute" stories, but I had to share anyway...

I don't watch 24 either... but I love the blog summaries of the show. THIS is a much better way to waste my time.

One question, and not to ruin it for anyone, but wasn't the surprise guest doing 20 years for treason?

I thought that too. He must have been pardoned by President Palmer before Palmer quit. Or he's a fugitive on the run...maybe they'll talk about it more next week, when Jack is killing terrorists with his new SuperShovel 2000.

Dave, Did you notice the stubble that the Secretary of Defense has grown in what amounts to six hours, he may be part Gunygugu. It is unreal! Definitely part Sasquatch.

I think we should kill the son of the Secreatry of Defense, the daughter is annoying, but I don't want to hear about the little brat's private life. Waht a jerk that kid is.

But, there is light at the end of the tunnel...Tony's back!

Allow me to bash Windows XP because it crashes half way through the install on my son's Compaq. And because it crashed my computer and was resurrected only after the registry was tricked into have two of me in the user accounts. And because files are named by throwing the alphabet and random numbers into the air, then hidden or corrupted depending on the tides. Thank you. I feel better.

I'm frightened.

I may have to install Service Pack 2.

Please send help.

Angie -

repeat this mantra until the fever passes ...

Mac Rules
Mac Rules
Mac Rules
Mac Rules
Mac Rules
I want to be a good guy
Mac Rules
Mac Rules

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