FORGET ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING
We are doomed.
(Thanks to everybody, living and dead, on the planet.)
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January 28, 2005
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And to think, that Thomas Crappers birthday was yesterday.
Posted by: igloo | January 28, 2005 at 06:42 AM
Holy Sh*t, Batman!!!
Posted by: sp2 | January 28, 2005 at 06:43 AM
"smothered the flames with more of the same -- a blanket of wet cow manure."
"Hey, man, this cow manure is burning? How are we supposed to put it out?"
"Let's throw some more manure on there! That should solve the problem!"
"Wow! You are an idea man, Jack!"
*Jack sneaks in and kills three dozen ecoterrorist cows*
Posted by: Marvin | Paranoid Android | January 28, 2005 at 06:45 AM
Firefighter to Fire Chief: Okay, I'll go in, but you've got to promise me. If I don't make it out, you can't tell my family I died in a pile of cowsh*t!"
Posted by: philintexas | January 28, 2005 at 06:52 AM
Holy Crap!!
Posted by: narf | January 28, 2005 at 06:53 AM
I wonder how the real estate market is doing near that area...
Posted by: Di | January 28, 2005 at 06:55 AM
That man is an idiot. People *buy* cow manure to use as fertilizer. Just put up a sign saying "Free Manure" and the gardeners ought to come running!
Posted by: Tamara | January 28, 2005 at 06:59 AM
That's one big pile of sh1t.
Posted by: Leetie | January 28, 2005 at 07:04 AM
Dave Barry is a hot shit.
Posted by: sahouly | January 28, 2005 at 07:06 AM
Why only Gardeners. How about Smiths or Smythes?
Posted by: igloo | January 28, 2005 at 07:07 AM
I guess Dickinson thinks he's hot sh*t. He should tell his cows that he's disappointed that they can't be more like their big brother, the elephant
Posted by: shredder | January 28, 2005 at 07:10 AM
A, so this is what they mean when they say "beef byproducts"
Posted by: Lairbo | January 28, 2005 at 07:17 AM
In the past I've been known to say, "now that's a steaming pile of cow dung."
Until this day, I never meant it literally.
Posted by: narf | January 28, 2005 at 07:26 AM
I guess it is somewhat fortunate, that dinosaurs are extinct. Imagine what 12,000 of those mothers would dump every day.
Posted by: BarryFS | January 28, 2005 at 07:39 AM
DINO DOOTS! WAGNFARB
Posted by: igloo | January 28, 2005 at 07:53 AM
I never sent this in. But then, I guess you couldn't classify me as 'living' or 'dead.' Or, technically, on earth.
Posted by: Marvin | Paranoid Android | January 28, 2005 at 07:57 AM
"Common sites." "Three-acre manure lagoon." Tell me again why people want to move out to the country and the fresh air.
Posted by: Bill | January 28, 2005 at 08:14 AM
haaa. country, fresh air, haaaa. ahhh whiff a sniff of that smog instead. cow stuff makes me choke.
Posted by: queensbee | January 28, 2005 at 08:30 AM
I really enjoyed reading this while I was eating my breakfast - Thanks Dave :-)
Posted by: Eleanor | January 28, 2005 at 08:56 AM
Tonight on 60 Minutes. An exclusive investigation into what happens to all of that Bull Sh*t that is put out during the recent election campaigns.
Posted by: igloo | January 28, 2005 at 09:18 AM
Archeologists sure excite easily...
Posted by: Mike "Mad's Dork" Weasel | January 28, 2005 at 09:20 AM
Tamara- due to truth in advertising ,they should say: "Free Manure: Get It While It's Hot !"
and Throw Down Your Dunnies -wbagnfar song
Posted by: insomniac | January 28, 2005 at 10:40 AM
FUTURE SCIENCE PREDICTION:
Cows save all of humanity. Excellent source of fuel and energy. Fossil fuel no longer needed on the planet. Methane machines cost less and you can now make your own with the new 'state of the art' 'pig-poo trapping 'loos.' Research now being conducted in New Zealand into 150 year old 'POO'. The 'bones' tell all relates Jeff Meyerson to FUTURE SCIENCE. These bones tell all, about the future, the past and the present! They tell about the social structure from the past.(for instance, 'who' ate 'whom', and 'who' is related to 'whom.') Get your newest edition today! Don't wait because you might be sorry!
Posted by: kC | January 28, 2005 at 01:25 PM
You are what you eat ...
(Anyone notice the other article, "Why women can't read maps" ... ???)
Posted by: u.o. | January 28, 2005 at 01:44 PM
KID: "Mommie, Mommie, I WANT a 'dunne' I WANT a 'dunne'!
MOMMIE: "Shut up, Kid! No, you can't have a 'dunne!'
KID: "But, Mommie, But, Mommie! I have to..."
MOMMIE: "You aren't done yet! So shut up and keep shitting!"
Posted by: kC | January 28, 2005 at 01:47 PM
"Smoldering Dung Pile" would also bagnfarb.
Posted by: qetzal | January 28, 2005 at 02:02 PM
My exact sentiments!
Posted by: kC | January 29, 2005 at 06:00 AM
Dang. Another Ted Kennedy news article.
Posted by: RDO | January 29, 2005 at 07:20 AM
This blog is my mental stimulation ...
Posted by: U.O. | January 29, 2005 at 08:03 AM
I can feel them now! Yes, new nerve circuits are already beginning to 'blossom' in my brain! It's so exciting that I think I will go and play my 'Clarke Tin Whistle,' while blogging. Sort of like rubbing your head while patting your stomach. (It does wonders for the new circuitry
*Thank God for the Blog, the Clarke's Tin Whistle, and "Carter's Little Liver Pills!*
footnote: And Dave, by all means!
Posted by: kC | January 29, 2005 at 08:40 AM
That pile of cow poop is so big it has snow on it!
Posted by: Barbi (with an "i") Guinness | January 29, 2005 at 09:38 AM
Yes, Barbi, but look at all of the energy flowing to and fro.
(Like Little Barbi Dolls taking trips to Europe on Super-Jets and doubling as 'Comfort Animals' to emotionally challanged disabled persons! What a joy to know of their unselfish contributions to humanity!)
Posted by: kC | January 29, 2005 at 11:16 AM