EXCLUSIVE TRUMP NUPTIAL PHOTO
This exclusive blog has obtained this exclusive photo of the happy couple moments after the Big Moment. Mr. Donald Trump is the one on the left. Or possibly the right.
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This exclusive blog has obtained this exclusive photo of the happy couple moments after the Big Moment. Mr. Donald Trump is the one on the left. Or possibly the right.
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The Donald has never looked better!
And....First?
Posted by: kj | January 22, 2005 at 02:38 PM
DAVE!!! PLEASE WARN US -- WE ARE EATING DINNER! Not to mention, about to be buried by the GREAT BLIZZARD OF 2005, according to the Weather Crisis Bureau.
*wipes face with napkin*
Posted by: Guin | January 22, 2005 at 02:39 PM
I agree Guin... that needs a warning.. having said that, the Donald's hair has never looked better!
Posted by: Kat | January 22, 2005 at 02:44 PM
Aw, that's sweet.
Posted by: brian | January 22, 2005 at 02:54 PM
Mom!?! Dad!?!
Posted by: Slowlayne | January 22, 2005 at 03:03 PM
Dave,
You are hilarious!..and I did not even contribute to this one!...
Posted by: julietine | January 22, 2005 at 03:12 PM
*peeks at Blog*
*runs away screaming*
Posted by: MeganBNL | January 22, 2005 at 03:31 PM
*goes off in a huff*
*disgusting*
How can people be so ugly
How can people be so cruel
And I'm not talking about the link - hmmph!
Posted by: Eleanor | January 22, 2005 at 03:35 PM
My eyes! My eyes!
Posted by: Kilmeny | January 22, 2005 at 03:39 PM
Jeff -
Yoo dirty raaaht ...
Posted by: UO | January 22, 2005 at 03:53 PM
Jeff, we're scared enough without you making us think about the AntiChrist... ummm I mean that nice man whose initials are BM.... nah, I really mean the AntiChrist
Posted by: Kat | January 22, 2005 at 04:09 PM
Dave, I adore you and all your work. I'm trying to learn to write like you. I'd be honored if you read my latest blog post and left a comment. Here's the link:
www.musicandhumor.blogspot.com
Thanks in advance.
Posted by: Chris | January 22, 2005 at 04:12 PM
Trump to stylist
* I's looking for a new do. Something more natural.*
Stylist
*Sure I just picked this up at a yard sale.*
Posted by: Opiesgirl | January 22, 2005 at 04:15 PM
I always said, "It takes two to 'Tango!"
"A match truly 'made' in Heaven."
The Lord has a marvelous sense of humor.
Why do you think that he created a 'Donald Trump' for humanity?
answer:
* Everything was looking so grim and depressing since the beginning of the Bush dynasty.*
I think that he decided that a good solution to counter-act the antics of the A-C, needed an Anti-Anti-C. (or a good purgative, like Castor Oil)
Posted by: kat | January 22, 2005 at 04:32 PM
Ewww...I can't even imagine what their kids would look like.
Posted by: Alex D. | January 22, 2005 at 04:41 PM
Like they always say, as soon as a woman gets married, she lets herself go.
Posted by: captainunderpant | January 22, 2005 at 04:42 PM
Is Donald AC/DC? I think he would go great in N.O. at the 'My-Oh-My' Club as a 'female impersonator.' I can just visualize him in a dress and wig sounding for all of the world like a classic 'bitch' when he says "You're Fired!"
I'm sure he has latent talents that he hasn't even thought about.
Posted by: kat | January 22, 2005 at 04:43 PM
Off thread a bit, but related generally to all threads, I just ran across this , and thought it "interesting" ... especially the headline, all you boggers, and the closing 'graph ... AS IF!
Posted by: U.O. | January 22, 2005 at 05:22 PM
Exclusive Trump Nuptial Photo = Chia Mop Toupee Tux Nut: I'll RSVP =
A Tux Vomits Torn Lichee Pulp Up.
Posted by: D'Artagnan | January 22, 2005 at 05:42 PM
O-tay, Duckwheat ...
except forgetting to erase my crib notes, it worked, and the commentary of the prior attempt still applies, all you boggers ...
(sorry about the mixup ... I'm still learning ... if I live that long ...)
Posted by: U.O. | January 22, 2005 at 05:55 PM
*goes over to D'Art, hands him congratulatory batch of hallucinogens and retreats to her corner*
Posted by: Kat | January 22, 2005 at 06:07 PM
Mmmm, hallucinogens...
Posted by: D'Artagnan | January 22, 2005 at 06:20 PM
For 3 of the blog's faves:
It's not pretty
No,not pretty
To see Barry,or Donald, or Cher!
It's a pity
If you look anywhere they're there.
First, there's Barry
(Not Dave Barry)
But the Barry they call Manilow.
He's in Vegas,
Singing songs he didn't write long ago!
Then, there's Donald
He's not that old.
Though his bride still likes 'Sesame Street'
If you're 'fired'
You'd better kiss his ass, tout suite!
Who's that plastic girl in the corner there?
Is that geriatric 'girl' Cher?
Such a plastic face,
Such a plastic bod,
Is that plastic hair?
I feel witty,
Oh so witty
And I've reached now the end of my song!
If you're like me,
You won't want to stick around, so long!
Posted by: insomniac | January 22, 2005 at 07:30 PM
Nine o'clock and all's well (and running)
Posted by: Marvin | Paranoid Android | January 22, 2005 at 08:04 PM
9:11 PST and ...
last?
Posted by: U.O. | January 22, 2005 at 08:10 PM
maybe baby
Posted by: Kat | January 22, 2005 at 08:34 PM
well that's just bizarre.. maybe D & J just put out the notice to mess with our collective heads
Posted by: Kat | January 22, 2005 at 08:35 PM
... um ...
Kat? ...
... um ...
well, we're still here ...
messed up ...
but still here ...
(cue: Twilight Zone theme, under)
Posted by: U.O. | January 22, 2005 at 08:49 PM
... a journey not only of sight, and sound, but of mind ... to a place where everything ... and nothing ... is sacred ... where the mind's eye is king, and the king is a figment of your imagination ... here in ... The Twilight Zone ...
Posted by: u.o. | January 22, 2005 at 09:20 PM
Consider my head officially messed with
Posted by: Kat | January 22, 2005 at 09:56 PM
AIEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Posted by: Bangi_Sizzles | January 22, 2005 at 10:14 PM
Wow. Dave. This is another historic post. This blog has lowered the Bar of Tactfulness again.
Congratulations to you, man.
Posted by: Doug | January 22, 2005 at 11:58 PM
stupid and ugly people posting their pic on the web. oh duh..... time to read the sunday paper. the one without a dave barry column. sigh.
Posted by: queensbee | January 23, 2005 at 03:57 AM
That was a really frightening picture...although Hassel the Hoff was more frightening.
Posted by: Blogchik | January 23, 2005 at 04:05 AM
Uh — has the blog clock been fixed?
Posted by: etc. | January 23, 2005 at 05:11 AM
No.
Posted by: etc. | January 23, 2005 at 05:12 AM
Dave,
Why won't you return my call?!
Posted by: Booger T. Jones | January 23, 2005 at 05:25 AM
insomniac...liked the song.
and IF the clock had been fixed, for us in the CST, that would mean it would be off by one one hour, instead of 2...so,
BOOGER
Posted by: slyeyes | January 23, 2005 at 05:33 AM
'I'm channeling in Abraham Lincoln right now! Yes, I think that he is coming in. It's becoming clearer and clearer! What are you saying, sir? You want me to tell them to quit spreading falsehoods about you? You are saying that, "No, you never slept with a man? Somebody is spreading vicious rumors about you. I will tell the combined HEAD on this blog, sir. We have never gossiped about you here (not hear). I'm afraid it won't do much good because we can't control the other media!"
E.
We still get Dave's column here (not hear) in Kerrville. Weird, isn't it? I've got to go now, Rod is calling me. Bye-bye!
kat
Posted by: kat | January 23, 2005 at 06:05 AM
Well, I'm really glad we made that sacrifice, and suffered the anxiety and stress, and now the blog is fixed ... musta taken all of about 12 seconds ... the way people posted all thru the nite ...
whatever
Morning kat, morning El, morning 'lota, morning y'all ...
Posted by: U.O. | January 23, 2005 at 06:36 AM
wake up, u.o. - clock is NOT fixed !
Time of posting this: 8:23a.m. PST
p.s. Good morning!
Posted by: Eleanor | January 23, 2005 at 07:23 AM
Okay. What exactly is supposed to be "fixed" about the blog clock? The minutes part is always right, and since we're not all in the same time zone, it's not going to be "right" for everyone anyway, so... ?? What's is supposed to look like?
*confusion*
Posted by: Karlota | January 23, 2005 at 07:52 AM
What's it supposed to look like. I can type, I swear!
Posted by: Karlota | January 23, 2005 at 07:53 AM
Well, whut I'm sayin' is that it do not (not knot) appear that they did anything, 'cuz there were enuf of some of us watching thru the nite, and checking and posting and ... you know it's really great how we all did that without any coordination or planning or anything ... sorta reminds me of how life useta be ... small townish, friends picking up the labor SLAP!
TNX ... I needed that ...
it was gettin' sorta like an old vinyl getting stuck in a groove, ya know ... ? and it just wouldn't quit ...
No, I dunno what the deal was ...
good mornin' ... or did I mention that already ???
Posted by: Uncle Omar | January 23, 2005 at 07:59 AM
karlota - the blog clock is supposed to be set to Eastern standard time, which, since it's 9:21a.m. here on the west coast, would be 12;21p.m. - you're right that the minutes are correct but the hour, by east coast time is not - it's one hour off - hope that helps:)
u.o. - you're right, they didn't fix anything or shut it down!!!
Posted by: Eleanor | January 23, 2005 at 08:23 AM
Dave's exclusive picture explains the headline in today's Advertiser (Australia):
Private wedding trumped by pubic interest
Go to World News - third item down.
Check it out before they correct it!
BTW, I tried several times to post the direct link to the article, but the blog rejects it due to "questionable content"...
Posted by: Philippe | January 23, 2005 at 08:29 AM
Eleanor--Thanks. It all makes so much sense now.
Oh, who am I kidding? I'm watching old ladies with accordions on tv. Nothing makes sense. I should've paid the darned cable bill on time.
Posted by: Karlota | January 23, 2005 at 08:30 AM
'lota -
I'm sorry, but ... FOOCL ... @ the mental image of you watching old ladies with accordians on TV ... hahahahahahahahahaha!
Please! I'm not laffing @ the misfortune you describe, but rather at the en tableau vignette of our society -- particularly up there in the northland -- that the imagery paints in my mind's eye ...
We're quite a bunch up there, just a little bit south of the Great White North, ain't we ... ?
So, are done watching football for the year -- and not because of the accordian thing -- or will you be keeping up with the Pennsylvania Bowl Sweepstakes ?
Posted by: u.o. | January 23, 2005 at 08:40 AM
UO--
1) :P
2) I'll be watching football until the bitter end.
3) I have 12 channels at present. My choices are politics, gospel, gospel, politics, gospel, politics, elevator music, gospel, the shopping channel, politics, gospel, or the cancer telethon which features acts like old ladies with accordions.
Posted by: Karlota | January 23, 2005 at 08:52 AM
Dave;
You crack me up.
Chaz
P.S. I believe I wet myself.
Posted by: Chaz Stevens | January 23, 2005 at 09:01 AM
Karlota: Chaz, did you really wet yourself?
Chaz: I dunno. Depends.
*ducks the sacks of nickels and runs for the bomb shelter*
Posted by: Karlota | January 23, 2005 at 09:17 AM
admit it, people, you don't need the blog to tell time, you need to need it to substitute for an actual social life!
*blog clock, we don't need no steenking blog clock!*
Posted by: insomniac | January 23, 2005 at 09:29 AM
Oh Boy!
These last posts have given me the wakeup call I needed ... too lazy yet this a.m. to do coffee, and now I'm okay ...
'lota - foocl AGAIN, @ your menu listing ... wowser!
hahahahahahahahahahaha!
tnx4 that
'niac - glad you brought that old line back, we haven't seen it for awhile -- even in moi ownself's posts ... we need that, to keep us honest, and sane ... (?)
chaz - nice counterpoint -
y'all have me acting like the duck that flies upside down ... you know ... quacking up ...
Posted by: U.O. | January 23, 2005 at 09:37 AM
check the man tits.
Posted by: kingfisher | January 23, 2005 at 09:48 AM
Well, it appears as though I am about to be kidnapped. Some of my friends think it is a good idea to go sledding. I, personally, gave that up about ten years ago*, but they tell me I have no choice. So, if you never see me again, you can speculate on what may have happened.
*That may have been after after the broken-butt incident. I kinda went flying off and embankment and and landed butt-first in the street. No cars, luckily, although I have been hit by one of those on a separate occasion (I've been told I flipped over the hood and landed head-first on the street, but I don't really remember).
I suppose that tells you a lot about me.
Maybe I should stay home...
Posted by: Karlota | January 23, 2005 at 09:54 AM
is this really you?
Anonymous said...
Keep up the good work.
--DB bloglit
commenting on my blog? thanks so much!
Posted by: Chris | January 23, 2005 at 10:29 AM
The Official Dave Blog Correct Time can be found on Official Nuptual Photo: It's clearly visible on Mrs. The Donald's plutonium watch.
Posted by: captainunderpant | January 23, 2005 at 10:44 AM
Insomniac - (Doubt you're still around) If the blog clock was fixed then we could say, "Watches! We don't got no watches. We don't need no steeeenking watches!
About the only reason to fix the clock is so one blogger can tell how long ago another posted. But the clock seems to be steady on Atlantic Time now (one hour faster than Eastern) We can deal with it that way.
Posted by: pogo | January 23, 2005 at 11:07 AM
I think it's funny that this blog rejects many of my posts on the first try due to the questionable content of my GeoCities website.
Posted by: Doug | January 23, 2005 at 11:26 AM
pogo-I tried using the laptop instead of my watch, it kept falling of my arm.
I like Atlantic Time though, is it used because Dave or judi got tired of Miami and moved to San Juan ?
Posted by: insomniac | January 23, 2005 at 11:44 AM
*nothing makes a lame joke lamer than a typo*
make that ...'off my arm'
Posted by: insomniac | January 23, 2005 at 11:49 AM
'niac -
Some people think I spend so much time on the computer stuff that it will become part of my arm, so don't worry about it too much ... besides which, someone (mighta been pogo) asked me if "F" was my middle initial ... mebbe that's where your's went ...
'lota -
hope things are going well with your sliding and sledding ... you left about the time I hadda sign off 'cuz the housekeepers chased me out so they could clean the room and get home to watch football ... by the time I got back, and talked with my granddaughter on the phone, you were gone ...
(goes back to check the score on the Pennsylvania Bowl)
Posted by: U.O. | January 23, 2005 at 12:07 PM
I'm really glad we made that sacrifice, and suffered the anxiety and stress, and now the blog is fixed. musta taken all of about 12 seconds ... the way people posted all thru the nite!
Posted by: Gevarra | January 23, 2005 at 12:31 PM
... and ... sh*t ... besides everything else, Johnny Carson died ...
Posted by: u.o. | January 23, 2005 at 12:56 PM
WTF is going on?
Somebody is taking old posts, copying them, and reposting them with new names, which link to odd sites or addresses ...
I've seen this with two of my former posts ... anyone else?
St. judi? Any ideas?
(this is my own dupe of my post on the "music" thread)
Posted by: Uncle Omar | January 23, 2005 at 01:07 PM
I thought the camera adds 10 pounds, not 60.....
Posted by: elle | January 23, 2005 at 01:32 PM
I have returned. Swallow before reading, UO.
I did not think it was possible to sit upon one's own head. I have defied physics.
See, when I was a child, I had one of those nice rectangular plastic sleds. My friend has metal saucers. Did I say metal saucers? I meant bowls of death.
Sledding? You mean acrobatics. I spent more time flying through the air and then skating down the hill on my head.
I'm sure it was entertaining for the spectators, though.
Posted by: Karlota | January 23, 2005 at 01:45 PM
'lota -
tnx4 the warning ... sure glad I finished that barbecued pork sandwich before I read your narrative ...
I too had one of those metal saucers of death, in another lifetime, in another century, in another millenium ...
yup, they're kinda slippery, esp. if you try to do the daredevil stunts ... like riding downhill standing up ... which we all did at least once ...
I really enjoyed your imagery ... or at least my imagination of how you looked ... sorry, not laughing AT you, but WITH you, one may only hope ... also hope you had fun ... and not too many aches and pains on the morrow ...
Posted by: u.o. | January 23, 2005 at 02:03 PM
which we all did at least once
Right. And after that first time, you couldn't stand up for a while afterwards!
Posted by: Marvin | Paranoid Android | January 23, 2005 at 02:21 PM
M/PA - Yup, but it din't always sink in as a lesson, on the first time of survival ...
(Any thots on those ghost/echo posts I mentioned ... another trick of spammers ... or ???)
Posted by: u.o. | January 23, 2005 at 02:32 PM
Was Dave ever on the Tonight show with Johnny Carson???
Posted by: julietine | January 23, 2005 at 02:34 PM
I'd like to think so ... or p'haps with Jay or another guest host ... but I don't wanna bet a nickel on it ... can't say I remember a specific event ...
Posted by: u.o. | January 23, 2005 at 02:59 PM
u.o.: re duplicate posts; my guess would either be (1) fellow bloglits messin' with your head or (b) hallucinogenics.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 23, 2005 at 03:14 PM
I vote hallucinogenics!
Posted by: Karlota | January 23, 2005 at 03:19 PM
About 10 years ago, we moved from a small town in So. Illinois to a St. Louis suburb. The first winter, my youngest, who was about 11, called me one snowy day at work. She was all excited because some new friends had invited her to go sledding at Suicide Hill.
She could not understand why her mom was being so mean as to forbid her from sledding on a metal saucer of death at a place called Suicide Hill.
I later found out it has that name due to the trees and fence at the bottom.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 23, 2005 at 03:31 PM
Hmmm... There was a fence and trees at the bottom of the hill I was on today, but I never seemed to make it that far. This was largely due to the fact that you don't get very far on your head.
Posted by: Karlota | January 23, 2005 at 03:36 PM
well, they were kinda weird links, when I checked the sender ... but I s'pose anything's possible ...
Any specific flavor of hallucinogens? I don't like coconut, or tuna, but most other tastes I could handle ... 'lota? what's your recommendation/prescription?
sly' - I think my cousins lived near that Suicide Hill ... seems as if I recall them talking of it ... tho there coulda been more than one ... even in the limited venue of St. Louis suburbs ...
Posted by: u.o. | January 23, 2005 at 03:40 PM
Peyote cactus. No, I don't know that off hand. I had to look it up. I'm no druggie!
Posted by: Karlota | January 23, 2005 at 03:43 PM
julietine,
I think Dave was on the Lettermen Show. I'm pretty certain he used a Barbie to light some panties on fire. Or maybe it was a toaster to light some Pop-Tarts on fire.
Either way, I'm pretty certain he lit something on fire.
Posted by: SteveB | January 23, 2005 at 04:00 PM
'lota -
I knew (of) Peyote from whenst I were a little kid ... well, about 9-10 or so ... from reading certain adventure/man's magazines like True and Argosy (hadn't discovered Playboy yet ... tho I read Mad from issue #1 ...) and it was such a new concept to the rural kid from a Nodak farm that I hadda look up how to pronounce Peyote and hallucinogen ... Tim Leary din't come along fer another several years, but I heard of LSD before he got to be news ...
No, here I thot you'd have some new exotic (and especially, non-harmful) concoction ... most of those current street thrills scare me too much ... not that I ever tried anything more nasty than the occasional beer ... or eleven ... oh, and Volga Boatmen ...
Posted by: u.o. | January 23, 2005 at 04:02 PM
I think I remember the fire thing ... maybe ...
Trivia time: I remember who wrote the Tonight Show theme for Johnny ... do you?
Posted by: u.o. | January 23, 2005 at 04:06 PM
Sorry to disappoint, UO, but as I don't do drugs I really have no clue. More people should be like me.
Posted by: Karlota | January 23, 2005 at 04:10 PM
Paul Anka.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 23, 2005 at 04:20 PM
Very good, sly ...
new thread ... check it out ... I expect this new one will grow considerably ... too many of us out here with too many memories, for it to not do so ...
Posted by: U.O. | January 23, 2005 at 04:34 PM
Paul Anka wrote it and the song was a revision of a revision of a song. He had a contract with Carson to write the song and both Carson's and Anka's names are on the song as it is listed with BMI.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 23, 2005 at 06:15 PM
I Googled it and found it rather quickly.
Johnny's Theme
Posted by: slyeyes | January 23, 2005 at 06:19 PM
This is one of the most interesting sites I have ever seen http://cfnmdogging.ifrance.com/
Posted by: cfnm free pics | December 27, 2007 at 04:42 PM