ATTENTION, PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY HAVE NO LIFE

It could be worse.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

Comments

[igloo]

Sure can tell the recession is over.

[kat]

No wonder you have only one comment!

[Di]

These people are ill, very very ill. Momma always said not to make fun of those who are sick...

*bwah,ha,haaaaaaaaa,haaaaaaa,ha,haaaaa*

She never told me not to laugh though!

[igloo]

I searched the site and I couldn't find anywhere to post pictures of my sanitary napkin collection. What's up with that!

[queensbee]

.... you wouldn’t believe how many collectors of other forms of airline memorabilia have told me they just throw away the napkins they come across. ..."

REALLY!!! Well, they might be USED AND GERMY, nerdbrain. Let's just hope they arent being sold on ebay as well. I bet they are. whew. just when i think there's nothing left out there to be nutzy about.... the wipeatorium surfaces. gak. i dont even want to think about what else, or other wiping is going on there. ick.
and igloo - ewwww.

[Brian McClure]

Get a life!! Start bloggin'.

[Sean]

Thanks for the ego boost! My penal istitution issued chewing tobacco bag collection doesn't look so crazy after all. I'm a somebody!
Thanks Dave!

[Christobol]

"This site is the beginnings of an attempt to document airline history through one of the most ephemeral and fragile forms of memorabilia, paper napkins."

Wow, so true.

"Can I help you sir?"
"I just wanted a few more napkins. When we hit that turbulance, I spilled my beer a little."
"Oh... I suppose."
"Why are you crying?"
"It's just that, the napkins, they're so ephemeral."
"Yeah - paper products are fragile by nature."
"Still, I guess you have a right to have your spill absorbed."
"Hey, if it you feel better, you can attempt to air dry it with your breasts."
"Good idea!"

---

And that's how the last nine flights I've been on have gone...

It's getting to where I love to fly, and it shows.

[igloo]

Queensbee,
You are right, ewwww. Don't know what came over me. As pennance, I will return to the Hasselloff bikini flash and stare at it for one hour.
Goodbye cruel world.

[mudstuffin]

a haiku:

a strange rejoinder,
perplexing, comic, yet sad:
"Thanks for the Wipage"

[Tamara]

Oh my gosh, my website is famous now!

You guys are sooo jealous of my napkins. My mamma always told me that people who made fun of my pug nose and rancid eyeballs (chem lab accident) were just jealous; I assume she would attribute the same logic to you guys making fun of my napkin collection. I say "assume" because my brother said Mamma doesn't talk to me anymore because I'm an "embarrassment to the family." Mamma's such a crazy kidder!

[mudstuffin]

I'll use it next time
I'm handed a poor report:
"Thanks for the Wipage"

[Di]

Igloo!

I had finally gotten the images out of my mind after seeing a hypnotist Friday night... but now that you mentioned it, not only can I picture the slideshow again, but I've developed a strange craving for a gerken pickle too..

[SteveB]

Airline napkins are an overlooked area of collecting

So is my used kleenex collection but, hey, I'm not complaining.

[Di]

Igloo!

I had finally gotten the images out of my mind after seeing a hypnotist Friday night... but now that you mentioned it, not only can I picture the slideshow again, but I've developed a strange craving for a gerken pickle too..

[igloo]

Hypnotist! Damn, why didn't I think of that. I had my neighbor, Vern, use his cattle prod whenever I said Hasselloff.

[cubie]

igloo-
I hope the cattle prod helps to prevent the seizures that will be caused from excessive stimuli...you know, like Pokemon.

[slyeyes]

I can't wait for news of the "Lost Shoe Found on Highway Collection".

[queensbee]

what about that ONE sock that gets lost in the dryer? hmmmm? can we find a one-sock page?

[slyeyes]

queensbee, I call the surviving socks "bastard socks".

Jerry Seinfeld did a routine about those where he talks about socks attempting to escape on the backs of sweaters. They only make it as far as the street before they fall off into mud puddles.

[Bangi]

remember that artist who used her um...
who produced her own paint?

[kat]

In the frozen wastelands of southern Minnesota, I took my life in my hand and went to the elementary school in practically a blizzard in order to search for the many gloves and caps that had at one time belonged to my young grandson. The secretary pointed to a large cardboard box in the corner that was large enough to ship a baby elephant in, and said, "look in there!" The thing was filled to capacity with enough winter gear to outfit a regiment in the Armed Forces! After leaning over the sides and making no headway, I dived in head first! Don't ever do that, it isn't much different than diving into a 'dumpster!'

[Marvin]

Jeff, he didn't collect the gloves. He just records where he found them. Because collecting them would be gross.

[LabSpecimen]

Jeff, I read a bit more closely than you did. He felt it would be wrong to take the glove in case the person losing it came back to find it, or in case some homeless person needed it, so he *just* documented where he saw it. It some ways, that seems even sadder.

[julietine]

I have to admit..Claire outdid herself this time with this website..only she would find a website like that!

[opiesgirl]

It's offical I do have a life. NOw if only I could find my napkin.

[kC]

I heard that the President of United Airlines was going to ask the Flight Attendants to have the passengers bring their(not there) own T.P.(bio-degradable) on board if they intent to use the bathroom facilities on board. This is a cost-cutting effort on behalf of the industry.

[sandy beach]

On the About Me page of the banana label collection page, Becky Martz states proudly that her site was named Second Saddest Site on the internet. She lost out to a navel fluff collector.

I suspect it was this one and I think the judges got it right. Gotta be the Saddest Site ever.

[kat]

s.b.
I checked the site out. The Cow Gallery was way more interesting than the lint naval balls museum. (the contented cows of Australia, the unique mooing, the multiple cards, screen savers, etc. What joy and perloo!)

[insomniac]

since very soon airlines will start charging for napkins, as part of their ,'so you spilled a $5 Coke on yourself and you look like you had an accident going into the biggest job interview of your life, ...why should we care?',policy this guy's hobby could become expensive.

[LabSpecimen]

s.b., Check out the 3d photos at that site, too. Pretty cool!

[Di]

Igloo,

A cattle prod?

Well, right now, I'm not sure which is more painful, the prod, or the slideshow...

*The Slideshow!*

[igloo]

It was "Bull" Conners* signature model, with the imitation silver handle and real red plastic button.
You have to arrived at geezerhood to recall the infamous "Bull" Conner

[kat]

pogo,
Did you ever wonder why women married 'Dull Men?'
Answer: They 'free-up' the little woman so that she can be free to live her own life, while DM takes care of all of the little menial household chores.
*Remember, he is a problem solver and has to have someone to tell him what to do.*

He is very useful to the orderly functions of daily life in our society.

[julietine]

WHen I see websites like these I feel like I live in a parallel universe...

[julietine]

WHen I see websites like these I feel like I live in a parallel universe...

[Di]

I was just thinking... maybe one day, I too can have my own website...

"Eyebrow Hair Collectors R Us"

I like it! Has a nice ring to it, dontcha think? Or maybe:

"Used Windshield Wiper Connoisseurs"

Now thats a good one! How many times do you replace your windshield wipers and dont think twice about tossing the old ones away? How wonderful would it be to start a collection of them, in the hopes of attaining great financial fortune from the remnants of your (not YOU ARE) rubbers?

[cubie]

alas, kat, you make me yearn for a dull man...

[julietine]

Oops!...sorry for the double post...

[queensbee]

Yikes! bureau of missing sox. and I thought i was just being funny. some nitwit actually has a website. OY. so thanks for that, i guess. i just read that san francisco wants to charge shoppers for the bags in the grocery store. maybe outthere in ebay land, are people who save em, and we can hook them up with san francisco.

[Marvin]

julietine, it's not your fault. It was probably just yourself posting from another universe, but somehow ended up here. Happens all the time. It's because there's Eddies in the space-time continuum.
("He is?")

[Rave']

Thank you, my head will now explode...

[captainunderpant]

Seriously, I recall some Miss America Pageant contestant whose hobby was "collecting international soaps". I'm not sure, but her talent may have been "bathing".

[Di]

Queensbee,
Are you serious? San Fran grocery stores are considering charging their customers for those flimsy little sacks??

*shakes head side to side*

This is worse than communism! Whats next? Getting charged to use public restrooms, and getting charged extra for tp?

[cubie]

There are some grocery stores in NC that pay you if you bring in your own bags...but they certainly don't charge you if you use theirs. Why that should be considered highway robbery!

[Writer's Cramp]

Radecki had long awaited this day. Yes, he had scrimped and saved, eating nothing but canned pudding year after year until finally... finally... Goodbye laundromat! Hello Bliss!

A five year supply of fresh water, canned frog, processed cheese food, flashlight bulbs and batteries awaited him... and of course THE NAPKINS. The glorious, delicate napkins! Just Radecki and their soft supple sweetness!

The cabin was tucked far away in a corner of the Poison Ivy forest, miles and miles from anyone. For the first 48 hours Radecki simply lay in the naked knowing sweetness of Napkin Air. The simple squarelets were the only comfort he found in this cold cruel world. Then slowly... painfully... a dire thought began to enter his mind. Stuck here in the paradise of his making with no way to retreat back to civilization, he had forgotten one simple item... one forgotten item that would slowly, deliberately take away all that was precious to him.... He would gladly trade his soul for a roll of Charmin... yet the bargain was made for a square of a different sort and he must wipe away his collection one square at a time...

[igloo]

Outstanding, WC.

[pogo]

kat and cubie - I have to admit to having a certain amount of Dull Man Syndrome. I fix stuff. As a matter of fact I sent in one of the Dull Mens' Airport Baggage Carousel entries. (I have forgotten which airport now, maybe KC.)

[Di]

Bravo WC!

You made me snort laugh. Thanks, I needed that today!

[captainunderpant]

Lest we forget the obsessively-crafted www.airlinemeals.net site. Oh, and if this doesn't work, once again I'll have to confess yet another simple technical device that burns holes through my brain.

[Tamara]

WC - That was beautiful.

[captainunderpant]

Wow. OK, I can't make Jello.

[cubie]

pogo-I heart you.

[Peri]

Well, this explains Transtellar Cruise Lines 900 year wait on Frogstar for their complement of small lemon-soaked paper napkins. You just don't take off willy-nilly without your full complement.

(Those of you who don't know what I'm talking about don't have to tell me that I don't make sense. I know. Either you are a fan of HGTTG or you're not. Marvin, why didn't you mention this?)

[captainunderpant]

Thanks, Lab. I bet you can make Jello, too *sigh*.

[kC]

pogo,
You're (not your) the 'stuff' that gives stability and strength to a nation that is presently in a "Feeding Frenzy." It is comforting to know there are still wonderful guys out there like you. If I were 30 years younger and not married, well,,,,,

[sandy beach]

I know exactly what Peri's talking about.

*smirks knowingly*

[Roman Clue(less)]

Ferschlugginer toilet site froze my Mac!

What a crappy deal!

Hey! I have a collection of used windshield wiper blades ... but I save them for a reason!

(In case I ever need one, and the savees are in better shape than the ones on the car already ...)

[kC]

"Spoon me a river,'Spoon me a river!
I spooned a river over you!"

[u.o.]

so ... this person makes a career of stealing airline flatware?

and then brags about it?

"OK buddy, fork over the loot!"

[slyeyes]

*gives ddd all of her used airline barfbags*

[Blogchik]

queensbee and Di- they ALREADY charge you for plastic bags here in Russia.

They think it is normal.

I hope the trend does not come to America.

[u.o.]

oooh, sly' -- nasty, nasty ... I luv it!

[Di]

Blogchik -

I know... I am sorry for all of you out there. I have family in Poland, and in preparation for a day of shopping out on the town - all makeup comes out of my purse, and neatly folded shopping bags make their way in.

It's sad really. Making a woman choose between shopping and her makeup...

[kC]

DDD,
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
*your latent talent is showing*

[splunter]

For people who think they have no life could probably be -- because they were told by someone else -- that they had no life. The someone else is the person with no life!

Life changes and you have to "go with the flow."...staying in the now and "doing your own thing" are the keys.... for people who have no life?

[jacob]

http://www.pbase.com/lettuce76/napkin_collection