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January 26, 2005


"Light beer" was bad enough. But this is WAY over the line.

(Thanks to Susannah Nation)

Key Puke-Inducing MarketingHole Quote: "It's producing a lot of excitement for this beer category in that consumers and bartenders are not looking at this as a typical beer," in many cases with B-to-the-E served over ice, said Dawn Roepke, the St. Louis-based brewer's brand manager of new-product development. "It's going right up against mixed drinks."


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Hey! That was SOOO my idea... or was it nicotine??

Either way.

No Vitamin C? No Echinacea?! Count me out!

I've given up being first. It's too easy.


That is all.

Funny ... in all my years of drinking beer, the thought "this needs a little something extra" never occured to me. It seemed just fine the way it was.

Now "I could use a little extra" has defintely crossed my mind ...


That is all.

Yet another reason for the rest of the world to hate America.

B-to-the-E - also known by it's other name: soda.

hey! I fixed that typo before posting...

("it's" minus the apostrophe)

This makes me question my purpose in life, and all that I've accomplished to date.

I'm pathetic. I can't even think of canning frog, or making beer taste like dirt and berries...

This is such a bad idea on so many levels, all of them obvious to anyone whose job security doesn't depend on nodding in agreement with the jackass who came up with it.

The ad campaign will, no doubt, feature young men participating in "X-treme" sports (my money's on snowboarding) while also drinking this crap ("Keep up that Budweiser Buzz All Day and All Night"), with a disclaimer in small type or sotto voce about how you should "drink responsibly."

The people who make Jagermeister must be worried about their upcoming loss of market share.

Punky - like you've ever gone wanting for "a little extra..."

I predict this beer will go nowhere fast - because it's brewed by the makers of carbonated gnat's pee....

On a more optimistic note: remember Zima? Yeah, nobody else does, either.


Do you still brew beer? I do. I can say that in all the recipes I've brewed, NONE of those ingredients are mentioned. Hell, I've seen beer recipes in which, if you so desire, you can substitute GOAT for your finishing hops, and STILL I've never contemplated something as stupid as that crap.

Obviously, it'll be a huge success.

Which just confirms my stance that it is okay to smack young people in the head.

"Anheuser-Busch trumpets itself as the first major brewer to infuse beer with caffeine, ginseng and guarana"

Wow. If it were me, I'd hiding in shame and hoping no-one ever found out.

Oh, and PeeJay? Budweiser may be "The King of Beers(TM)(R)(C)" but it's still crap.

I don't know what's bothering me more: the herbal fortifications, the fruit flavors, or the concept of serving beer -- any beer -- over ice.

Ick. Ew. And caffeine? Are they watching Drew Carey reruns?

Higgy, I think you underestimate the American Market. People here drink the gnat's pee and call it beer, so why wouldn't they drink mongoose urine and call it B-to-the-E?

it is a sad day for beer lovers everywhere...

watch that simulposting, the rules were posted yesterday LS

"Slightly sweet but tart and coming in the aromas of blackberry, raspberry and cherry, B-to-the-E is to be marketed toward "active 21- to 27-year-old experimenters looking for new tastes and options.""

I realize that I am only a couple days from being out of this "coveted" demographic. However, 6 years ago, had you tried to put fruit flavors in my beer, I'm sure that I would have gotten off the murder charges.

Anheuser and Busch are rolling over in their keg-shaped coffins.

Vive Le Guinness!!!!!

You can find anything on the web. Beer coctails:
A favourite ale mixed with ginger beer ...

Lager and Lime
Generally used with a light lager with a splash of lime juice or Rose's Lime Cordial.

Lager and Black Current
A favourite lager with a shot of Black Currant flavouring (Ribena).

A mix of a "beer of choice" and cider. Another version of the snakebite is a mixture of stout and cider.

Beer Bloody Mary
12 oz. chilled beer, 12 oz. tomato juice, Dash Tabasco, Dash Worcestershire sauce,
Combine ingredients; pour over ice in old-fashioned glasses.

Black Velvet
Would you believe Champagne and stout beer! Apparently this is considered a classic beer-based cocktail.

Red Eye
Any ale or lager with a shot of tomato juice, also known as Tomato Beer or a Red Rooster and if hit with a splash of Tabasco sauce, becomes a Ruddy Mary.

Gator Beer
Gatorade and your choice of lager or ale (This one was clearly thought up by the Gatorade corporation).

Caribbean Night
Your choice of beer mixed with coffee liqueur.

South Wind
Your choice of beer mixed with melon liqueur.

For what it's worth (not much, admittedly), Anheuser Busch anagrams to:


Somehow, this makes me feel just a little bit better.

Clearly, somebody got into the ganga at the brewery.

"Dude, does the primary fermenter remind you of my mom that time we tried to sneak in after the Frampton concert?"


"Hey, I wonder if broccoli ferments?"

"Only one way to find out!"

Young, lazy punks! Here I have to go hiking all over the rainforest to get my guarana , and they get it in their beeroid beverages! Too bad when mixed with hops ,it makes you insane! MWA-HA-HA-HA !!!1

Wow... I read that totally wrong. I thought it said it had guano in it!

Lab, my thoughts exactly. "hey, isn't that bat poop?"

Or perhaps a guanaco?

"Bar-keep! What's this guanaco doing in my beer?"

Strip and Go Nakeds
Beer of your choice mixed with lemonade.

Ahh, to be a "21 to 27 year old active experimenter" again.

Dawn Roepke = Poke Warden and Newark Dope

If my neighborhood bar ever stocks this crap, I'm finding someplace new.

yes Boo, makes me nostalgic to "take off" to the great white north...

Anheuser-Busch Launches Souped-Up Beer

When I read the title, I thought that they had incorporated soups into the beer. That's how low of an opinion I hold Bud in.

But the truth was close enough.

cubie — No, it is a great day for beer lovers everywhere because...

...now that the "the young cocktail crowd" is drinking that crap, there's that much more beer for the rest of us!

AMEN!! etc, glad you found the silver lining! I am celebrating tonight with my old fashioned plain beer!

Seriously, How many of us are:

A. Active?
B. 21-27?
C. Guano drinkers?

At least if I did experiment with this stuff at the local club the caffeine might help me stay up past 10:30?

Anheuser-Busch = shun such a beer

As an active member of the elite 21 to 27-yr-old Active Experimenters (which wbagnfarb), tonight I will be testing a new Tomato-Basil Chianti with my main course of Pez and Pop Rocks.

Etc: That is an excellent anagram!

It's possible for "The Malternatives" to BAGNF an 80s rock/hair band....


Dont blame us!
WE "active 21-27 year olds" were born to the generation that came before us, that didn't listen to the warnings, that drinking while pregnant could be harmful to the baby...

Lab: "South Wind" brings to mind one of beer's less fortunate side effects.

Anyone rememer Hop'n Gator? (Geezer bus screeches to a halt) This stuff was tried back in the early 70's - didn't last long then, either.

There ain't nothin' new under the sun, mmm-mm.

"Crave something zippy?" How about free-basing a latte? We got your "zippy."

In the 60's some Americans thought that by the year 2000 we'd eat nothing but Space Food Sticks - or maybe just swallow a few vitamins - for all our nutrition needs. Soon, thanks to marketing wizards in America's Heartland, we'll get all our healthy nutrition sitting on the couch watching "24" and drinking beer! Which sounds like a good idea. I LOVE THE FUTURE!

What I should have posted:

Anheuser-Busch =

1. U.S. cans beer, huh?

2. Shun such a beer

LabSpecimen - just because there are "beer-based" cocktails, doesn't make it right.

Labatt's (I think it was Labatt's, but it could've been Molson) brought a Shandy to the Canadian market back in the 80's. It lasted a summer. Then we all sobered up for the hockey season and all was right with the world once more.

*crosses fingers and hopes that Molson and Labatt's ignore this particular beer fad, this time 'round*

Di - We can't blame them! Back in the day the surgeon general still used leeches for everything!

Caution: The surgeon general has determined that drinking this here hooch will make you see your spirit animal and wake up next to Cher. Apply leeches. Double-Monkey-Dog Caution: If you're pregnant, apply leeches.

Christobol-did your parents take you to the dungeon at Medieval Times, and maybe you hold a grudge?

Come on, Witchie, we all know you'll be secretly trying the Bloody Beer Mary.

wasn't that the premise of BUZZ BEER?


cubie - I fart in the general direction of plastic castles!

(ok, in every direction, but I do a weasel war dance when it hits a plastic castle)

Brewmeister Smith: Damn tragic that we are going to lose batch 227. Who would have thought that a cargo plane full of guano and ginseng would crash into the vat.

Brewmeister Jones: Yea, well I had a feeling that batch was going to be lost when they accidently plumbed the cafeteria coffee machines into that vat.

Accounting VP: We cannot take this kind of a loss!

Marketing VP: My team has come up with an idea . . .

Ooh! Ooh! What about Champale?

Flavored Beer = Love Deer Barf

Christobol -
If I could only see you do the "weasel war dance when it hits a plastic castle" - minus the fart part...

As for the leeches, back when I was a little one, Mayor Daley or was it Mayor Daley's dad? I forget.. regardless, they told our folks to go fishin for leeches in the Chicago River and use them as the newest homeopathic cure for any illness us kids had. Some of the parents actually did...

Perfect Deon... exactly how that stuff usually happens (never underestimate the sadism of the American consumer)

Thanks for the link, Tamara. Great story!

While it DOES sound disgusting, I must confess, I have been "craving something zippy".

I think I had Champale one night when I was having me a "Champagne Jam"

For people who want their beer with a little "something extra", there has always been the boilermaker:

Drop a shot glass full of whiskey into a mug of beer (leave room in the mug). Slam the concotion asap.


Nothing compliments a B to the E like a Space Food Stick.

ErnieG - are you sure it's not 'leave the mug in the room'?

Ladies and Gentlemen, children of all ages, please direct your gaze to the center ring, where you will see performed, for the first time outside the Wilds of Africa (a party room at Wild Chachas on Lower Wacker), The Weasel War Danve When It Hits a Plastic Castle Minus the Fart Part!

And the crowd are going wild.

LabSpecimen - only if that beer is 5%... otherwise, it's just water. And if I wanted water, I'd ask for water.

*nostalgic for the days when Tom Cavanagh of "Ed" used to do Labatt Blue Light commercials*


This is a funny topic. You guys have to look at this site its cool and your kinda style. Its www.CTCMagazine.com. I met a guy at a NERD show in Las Vegas and he told me about these guys. I went to their site and subscribed to their magazine and next thing I knew they sent me some stickers and a hat that says ‘Vote for Beer’ on it. These guys kick ass. Also check out the fashion section. There is a hot chick there that you can look at with out getting in trouble from your girl because its fashion not porn ; ). Let me know what you guys think.

*choking on water*

Thanks C-bol... I almost spit, but I swallowed instead.. (My water! Get your minds outta the gutter!!)

Fabulous! The new brewery is located just past Annie Green Springs, take a left on Ripple Road, if you hit Boone's Farm, you've gone too far!!

The things we'll drink when when we're young and stupid...all of which no doubt made us stoopider...

This is amazing. A Budweiser thread with over 70 posts, and no reference to the canoe joke.

"if you hit Boone's Farm, you've gone too far!!"

that about sums up Aristotle, Jamester.

fashion not porn???? that is just too cute

it's Miller time...I am outta here!!! it was a hoot today!

Deimos - That's true about the Reinheitsgebot, but it doesn't stop Germans from mixing beer with fruit juices, cola, antelope lymph fluid, etc. after brewing is finished.

Nevertheless, I'll take most Germans beers over most American beers any day, and I'm in the supposed target demographic for B^e.

The NEXT step? Get them to drink their own urine. And CHARGE them for it. Try it. It's EXXXXXXXTREME, Dude!!!!!!

I can't believe I am the first to say that B-to-the-E sounds G-to-the-A-Y.

-Ryan Seacrest

Beer has four ingredients.

Water. Barley. Hops. Yeast.

MAYBE you throw in a different grain like rye or some sugar.

But blackberries? Ginseng? Is this beer or Arizona yuppie tea?

**Now, do I emigrate to Canada because of American politics or Germany because of American beer?**

And here's my thought process on B to the e...
*Let's see..."e", in mathematical terms, means "natural log"...*
*thinks about how the words "natural log" will be construed on this blog...*
*guess this is mathematical proof that all those who proposed the additives were actually guano were correct*

'coo -

Then we all sobered up for the hockey season and all was right with the world once more.

Now c'mon ... I lived 14 miles from 49 North most of my life ... you don't really expect me to believe that, do you?

I also attended many a hockey game ... "sober" was not in the program, that I remember ...

Eeeeewwwwww! I hated beer before now I hate beer and want to barf up my dinner.

r.e. barley (and other ingredients) in beer:

Some beers use rice ... including Budweiser ... check the label ... (or was that Coors?) ... no, Bud, I'm pretty sure .

No no, Coors is the "coldest tasting beer"

Which part of the toungue has the "cold tasting" cells?

(Tries desperately to remember Anatomy 306 class ...)

... um ... I believe, C-bol, that the portion of the tongue that tastes "cold" as a flavor, would be the "tip" of the tongue, hence the phrase "tip of the iceberg" ... and possibly also the reason for the given stoopidityness of young kids who put the tip of their tongue on very chilly metal in the midst of a Nodak winter ...

ahhh, vegetarian beer. they left out the tofu. bleah.

You don't see this kind of thing happening here in Canada eh.
Although, that Zima stuff does come in handy when on a road trip with no means of refridgeration. Still quiet drinkable when piss warm. Why can't they just bring that up here?

Ok, as a big fan of Jagger and red bull, but not rich enough to afford it at a club... I would be looking foward to a cheeper substitute. Of course it would help if it didn't taste funny, which this might. Of course if I drink like 3 Jagger Bombs and then move to these.. it probably wouldn't matter.

Soon to come: putting crack in a beer. (That's crack the narcotic, not the plumber's affliction). "We’re not creating addicts. We’re servicing the physiological needs of a cultivated niche market."

Let's see... take a very wimpy beer. Add fruit flavoring and strange odiferous herbs. Then charge a price that is more expensive than a quality microbrew / import ($1.29 for each *10 ounce can* vs., $1.33 for each *12 ounce bottle* of Newcastle, Anchor Steam, Guiness, or the like)...

Wow, this really appeals to my zippy 20-something lifestyle! :/

(As a non-wimpy beer drinker, I think 20-somethings really should be offended.)

U.O. re: Canadians sobering up for the hockey season...

If you've spent a lot of time just south of the 49th, then you know that Canadians get silly (as in consuming unconsumable beverages such as Canada Cooler *blech!*) on hot weather and sunshine. Once the hockey season starts, and the temps get a little more reasonable (below 0 C), we go back to being the comical, mild-mannered, beer-bleching-hosers, you all know and love.

next thing you know they'll be making beer that makes you put on a star wars storm trooper suit, grab a hockey stick, and beat the crap of out people. of course, this happens only when lured by musical tones on a keyboard.

Let's see... take a very wimpy beer. Add fruit flavoring and strange odiferous herbs. Then charge a price that is more expensive than a quality microbrew / import ($1.29 for each *10 ounce can* vs., $1.33 for each *12 ounce bottle* of Newcastle, Anchor Steam, Guiness, or the like)...

Wow, this really appeals to my zippy 20-something lifestyle! :/

(As a non-wimpy beer drinker, I think 20-somethings really should be offended.)

im not offended. in fact, i chuckle at your statement. you think newcastle and guinness are quality? let me know when you get some balls and try some real microbrews like stone arrogant bastard (or double bastard for that matter), rogue old crusteacen, or dogfish head 90 min IPA.

definitely not offended,

PS - guinness is actually quite low in alcohol despite what idiots think. the whole "dark beers have more alcohol" thing is just not true.

PPS - i need to learn html better

Hey, 20-Somethings, unless you are a consumer craving something zippy in your highly social, fast-paced lifestyle, we weren't talking to you anyway!

Something Extra?
It only has 10 ounces!

Oh & LabSpec:

20-somethings: I think you missed the point of my comment. :)

To your 90 minute IPA, I've drunken Dogfish Head's incredibly-non wimpy 120 minute IPA as well, so thanks. :) Where I am, the Tampa / St. Pete area, has some pretty amazing beer spots if you search out the hidden nooks and crannies. Places that sometimes have taps of Belgiums like Chimay and Delerium Tremens (plus the fruit-flavored lambics sometimes), as well as micros like Rogue Dead Guy, Hazed And Infused, etc. and/or other interesting imports (Optimator, cask Fuller's ESB, Kostritzer, Young's Double Chocolate Stout, etc.) Good stuff.

These and similar places in other towns are places B-to-the-E will fear to tread.

I don't really care for beer, but if I'm going to drink it, I want a REAL beer.

That is all.

Anyway, liquor is quicker.

'coo -

re: Once the hockey season starts, and the temps get a little more reasonable (below 0 C), we go back to being the comical, mild-mannered, beer-bleching-hosers, you all know and love.

Yup, you're correctamundo ... I love the Canadians (not Canadiens) ... they're fun to watch ...

and even on occasion, converse with ...

you know whut I mean ... eh?


Where's Bob? (That hoser ...)


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