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December 28, 2004


Wanna touch our Eve 6 towel?

(Thanks to Heather Jackson)


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Someone is auctioning off water Elvis didn't drink ? I've got gallons of the stuff!
I also have some Kleenex he didn't use, and some aspirin he didn't take for a headache he didn't have last week.

Wise men say
Only fools buy sh$%
But you can't help
Getting my cup of spit!

"As proof of the water's authenticity, Jones provides photos of Presley during the concert in which several plastic foam cups can be seen on a stand behind him. Another photo shows Presley holding a cup."

You can't argue with THAT kind of proof.

I have an original "Dave Barry" dollar! It's the only one in existence. Dave has actually handled it and it is not for sale at any price! Everytime I feel down and need a good laugh, I get it out and look at it. I am leaving it to my youngest daughter, Stephanie. She is a Dave Barry fan, too! Thanks, Dave!

these people need to get a life. ugh.

water. water everywhere
and not a drop to drink...

"``It's one thing to be an Elvis fan, but then you tell them you have this cup of water and they think you're a fanatic,'' he said. ``I'm not like the people bidding on this water.''"
Oh no, he's not at all like the people bidding on the water, just the one who "stored the cup in a deep freezer for eight years, then melted the
ice and transferred the water to a glass vial" and then saved it and decided to sell it... but he's definitely not a fanatic.

Melissa - and didn't sell the cup, because that was important to him...

Riddle me this...

Is a deep freezer much different than a regular freezer? The ice cubes in my ice cube trays evaporate after a month. I think this guy was selling freezer frost.

This guy is selling something, and it ain't freezer frost...

It's more akin to hay after passing through the digestive tract of a bull...

'Would anyone be interested in buying the Golden Gate Bridge? I'm taking bids now.'

OK, MOAThouse rock it is!


So, we're here?

psst, Jeff! Trade ya two packs of cigarettes for Sly's phone number...

This is much better.

oooo.. it's quiet over here
*sets up blurking blind in shadows*

*prepares to blurk*


Laynie, I also have found Joshkr to be incredibly helpful during times of stress and transition. Only... Does he make you wear pigtails at those times, too?

I thought your frog story was interesting, sly - and you simulposted with Joshkr - woo, hoo!

I was just off in the kitchen looking for something to eat - see previous "whine" post -

I found a small steak in the freezer - nuke, saute and eat!

Now I have a stomach ache !

Apparently this is a "whine" day for me - so,
my e-mail isn't working either, but Joshkr says it's not my fault - he's so kind!

*blows Joshkr a kiss*

*steps in, looks around*

Looks good. We can use the poker table and kick out the salesman, and move right in!

*goes back to writing until stuff arrives*

*brings in a large wheelie tray thing of poker chips, cigars, ashtrays, and bottles of Jack Daniels with glasses*

*and cards*

ummm, exactly what do you suppose is going on in this exercise class?

Is that Michael Jackson in the back -- with a boy at his crotch? How come this wasn't used as evidence, yet?

Possible caption for sly's picture:

While watching small children exercize, large bodyguards pee on floor

Alex D. Be careful making fun of MJ - big hostility re MJ remark on MB!!!!!!!

greetings fellow moaties!
( i wanted to say i cum frm planet kinky... but i have too much class for that...no really, i have a class at 8am...and then 2 others after that)
*zips like E-laynie*

Liquor up Front!
Poker in the rear!

(sorry, couldn't help myself, but then again, when can I?)

Love you crazy Moaties!!

p.s. How bout them Cowboys! (Oklahoma state)

p.s.s. If anyone still wants to sign up for the colege basketball Pick'em, you still have a few days left!!

The team selection just came out this evening.
So everyone who is signed up, can now fill out their Brackets!!!!! Good Luck!

*sneaks back to the basement, carefully watches over shoulder for Peri, and Di*

Didn't forget about the Psycho parody. I'm cracking myself up writing it, so the actual writing isn't getting done at all. The thing is way off-base, off-color, and off-anything-else-you-can-think-of already, and I've just finished the first scene!

I do have high speed cable here, but one of the computers I use is a kind of slow one, and the last MOAT was taking a long time to load.

I hope everyone has had a good weekend.

Eleanor-the nodding intelligently while the computer tec goes on and on...I do that. While we got set up to broadcast online, the guy was explaining everything, and I just nodded. Made no sense to me. I know how to get it up and running, that's enough for me.

Alex D.-flashing is always necessary. Especially to Josh. *flash* Although it seems Kibby has taken to flashing too. I hope I haven't missed that totally.

My weekend has been soooo long. Or it has seemed that way. I went to see a guy Saturday, been seeing him, kind of casually, for a little while. He lives about 2 hours away...so I went yesterday, ended up spending the night and headed home this morning. Not that anything went on last night...not even sleeping. I can not sleep in a strange place, tired as I was (get your minds out of the gutter).

Looks like it could become something serious. I do have some feelings for him already...not true undying-forever love...but something. Hey, I'll drive to see him, over 100 miles. The butthead, I wouldn't drive 5 miles to see him...

Some things, though...he's big into conspiracy theories...the fact that the government is trying to poison us, things of that sort.

His desire to pee outside as much as possible...I could, I guess, get used to that. He doesn't have any really close neighbors, so no one would see him. But still..

But this morning. We were drinking coffee in the living room before I left. He had left a t-shirt in the living room the night before.

He blew his nose on the tshirt. Not just once either. I don't care that it had to be washed anyway. EEEEWWWW!!!!

That kind of skeeved me totally. I am not by any means the neatest tidiest person ever. Not by a long shot. But still. Ick!

Off to record news. Your thoughts on this are welcome.

*zips in again*

*wants to see if zipping is faster in MOAThouse Rock*

*zips out*

*already imagining some of the things ya'll will say...nothing I haven't thought already*

Susan -- even after spending entire weekends camping with no access to running water, toilets, or showers, that's disgusting! It's (not its) also how people get sick.


Susan - conspiracy theories - always interesting and you'll have something to talk about - I can send you a few of mine if you want to contribute!

peeing outside - well, he doesn't have to clean the toilet as often, I suppose

blowing his nose in a t-shirt - not acceptable, a deal breaker IMO, but... if you like him, next time you visit -if that's what you're calling it - bring a box of Kleenex and put it on the coffee table - if he still uses clothing, then I vote no.

*zips out to find elvis posters to decorate walls*

I'm going to Graceland, Graceland, Memphis, Tennessee
We all will be received in Graceland

ummm, Susan, yeah. Good luck with that. Conspiracy theorists can get to be so tiresome.

Question for all you IPod owners. Have you had to replace the battery? I cannot believe that you have to ship the IPod back to Apple and pay $99 + shipping. That's outrageous.

And Susan - our minds were NOT in the gutter - they were in the bedroom!

*is posting a lot because she can zip in and out*

Eleanor, we actually were only in the bedroom to sleep. Or trying to convince the other one we were asleep. Several times I was sure he was asleep, and I could roll over again, trying to get comfortable. (failing utterly. Not only can I not sleep in a strange place, I can't sleep with someone else in the same bed, or even the same room) But I would roll over, and he would move, not in his sleep. He also commented this morning that I was restless. Well, duh!

My bed, with only me in it, will feel mighty nice tonight. I guess I should finish the news so I can go home...


Um...since I don't have much experience in being "respectful," (I don't pull any punches when writing on my own) how outlandish can a parody get before it's considered "disrespectful," and how much will you guys tolerate?

Just thought I'd ask because what I've got so far is complete insanity (playing off the title) even by my low standards, and I want people to laugh, not ask for my head on a platter.

...and I was the first poster!...

Susan, conspiracy theorists drive me nuts... Make him read V or Gravity's Rainbow to develop some imagination.

The T-shirt thing doesn't bother me so much, but I am a guy...

Other than the conspiracy thing, I won't comment further. Since you brought them up, Susan, I'm guessing you aren't real comfortable with them yourself.

Other than the conspiracy thing, I won't comment further. Since you brought them up, Susan, I'm guessing you aren't real comfortable with them yourself.

The T-shirt thing doesn't bother me so much, but I am a guy...

Oh, insom - are you a member of the Conspiracy To Eliminate Kleenex? :)

Oh, now really!

Well, true, the shirt had to be washed anyway, and there wouldn't be the waste of the used tissues, but still.

And at this point I'm just kind of amused by the conspiracy things. And he's not trying to convince me of them..just telling me about them. I'm finding them hard to believe.

Continue to comment, I welcome thoughts. Or email me...I'd say to IM me, but I'm not going to be online for any longer than it takes to post this. News is done and I am sleepy.

I do have music to listen to, though. I found some great stuff on Friday. I finally have a copy of Alice's Restaurant. And several other obscure things I have been looking for. Voices by Russ Balllard. Sausalito Summer Night by Diesel. Pilot of the Airwaves by Charlie Dore. I really went for the quality stuff, didn't I?

Pilot of the airwaves, here is my request. You don't have to play it but I hope you'll do your best. I've been listening to your show on the radio and you seem like a friend to me.

(I hadn't heard that in 10 years or more. Or the Diesel. Or Russ Ballard.)

On the front page of the Home section in the local paper is a large picture and even larger article about - fanfare - The Donald and the golf course/estate homes he's building in Palos Verdes - up the road a bit from here -

I'm not going to post the article because I don't want to get stoned (by rocks, that is) but the caption under one of the pictures says that in the clubhouse there are 9 Waterford chandeliers that cost $85,000 each!

What does Melania have that I don't? Oh, right - youth, great looks, foreign accent and - The Donald!

Exactly, Eleanor! Now, who manufactures Kleenex?

Kimberly-Clark! which anagrams to 'Kerry lack limb' Obviously they are hiding evidence of some horrible injury Kerry suffered in Vietnam!

The sympathy that would've been generated by this might have changed the election!

It's also well known that the dioxin used in bleaching Kleenex actually irritates noses, thus guaranteeing more customers !

insom - I think Oliver Stone was also involved in this -

And who could ever forget the movie Independence Day - you know that was a fact-based movie!!!

*whispers* Area 51

*zips out to put aluminum foil triangular hat on*

*zips back in*

did you notice, insom, that the first comment on this thread is yours????

Coincidence - I think not!

*zips back out but slams into Moat wall because tinfoil hat falls in front of her eyes*



And it mentions Kleenex!!!!!!

insom, you are so busted!

There's always my pet theory that nobody else believes, about cursing being associated with real words by businesses trying to eliminate the competition:

a$$ so novice horseback riders don't turn to donkeys

sh!t so cow manure is no longer used on farms as fertilizer

suck so vacuum cleaners can't outdo brooms

blow just because someone hates fans

crap so Thomas Crapper doesn't bask in the glory of his invention

And there's two obvious bad words associated with Dick van Dyke. Mr. Language person must REALLY hate him.

On a slightly more serious note, I've seen accounts of Area 51 and the surrounding area, and I think that it's a facility for developing futuristic aircrafts.

Susan - this is the beginning stages...when he's still trying to impress you. If he's blowing his nose on his clothing now God knows what he'll be like later.


And I DARE someone to ask me about aliens.

Ooooh, simulpost!

Hi, Zoodle!

*zips in*

Hi Zoodle!

I'd ask you about aliens Alex, but I must go now - the voices are calling me to a meeting in one of the crop circles -

*zips out*

*checks space craft hidden in basement under tarp*

Aliens? What about them?

That they're humans from the future, coming back to take specimens and study ancient history first-hand.

Lookee! I found the new MOAT without a problem. Yey!

*forgot about porn*

*leaves that on a table in a very well lit section of the MOAT*

*wanders in general direction of pr0n*

Hmmm...I made it to church today without being struck by lightning. Do I really want to risk that?


*sits back down and ponders more conspiracy theories*

*The Mistress of Darkness sweeps into the Moat*

*kicks Elvis in the behind*

Right.. now I have the corner to myself. *unpacks velvet hammock, whips , cuffs & EzyBake oven*

*goes to search for new MoatDrink..*

anyone for a Jailbreak?


this Guy wouldn't happen to be Brian Robinson of Portland OR, as featured on page 148 of Dave Barry's guide to guys, would it?

*flash on*

... well, I usually use my briefs instead of tissues ... but that's me. And only in private.

MeThinks, susan, these 'little' things will begin to wear on you. No wonder you couldn't sleep - being subconsciencly afraid his gov't overseers would come in and wisk you away. Peeing outdoors? Well, until it starts smelling like a subway station... Oh, did you check his basement?

*flash off (only because zipping's called for)*

Susan, Check your email

G'morning to ya Kibby!! (or possibly afternoon by now.. either way ... Hi!)

G'morning everyone!

Sorry, I didn't get the Psycho parody done last night. Too much RL work. Why...WHY did I subject myself to 18 credits this semester???

Oh, right. So I remembered that RL was still out there. And I have class in 2 hours.

*still boggling over how even a GUY could possibly use a T-shirt to blow his nose*

Susan, run away from crazy guy. All those three things add up to one BIG red flag.


Eleanor went to a meeting in the crop circles? I think we can find her here.

*flashes in*

*flashes Area 51.5*

*flashes out (cause zipping's called for)*

..and no one has mentioned that the 'human face' mountain on Mars is really a statue of Elvis, who was sent here to accelerate the U.S. space program!

The song 'All Shook Up' was supposed to be a tribute to the Martians (originally it was 'All Dried Up')

*zips in*

Good morning everyone, gloomy here today, heavy marine layer (whatever that is)..




Apparently I have nothing of any interest to say....

*zips out*

Interestingly, (ok, it interested ME) when you google Elvis face, you get a picture of the human face mountain on mars. Coincidence?

insomniac, yeah but I was first since this became the MOAT, so there! Not that I care you understand.

Susan, what can I say but...ick. If he was 18 in college, OK; now, not acceptable. And was he wearing a tinfoil hat? Or was it more along the lines of (paraphrasing):

"I don't know Lyndon Johnson. He's a politician, right? That's like a notch below child molester."

Oh yeah, morning MOATies! Not only did we miss out on JB's concerts at the ballpark in Philly, but we just found out The Eagles (did you know Rita met Don Henley once?) are going to be at Madison Square Garden April 11 and that's sold out too. Bummer.

Oohh, a Kibby flashing!

Morning all, from cool and rainy SC!

Thank you for your comments last night/this morning. Nothing I wasn't thinking...but nice to see others see it the same way.

I do like the guy. I like spending time with him. He lives about an hour from Charleston, so we drove there Saturday and spent the day there. I really enjoyed the day. Went to the movies and all. (saw The Jacket. Pretty good, if a little odd. We agreed that Kris Kristofferson (sp?) is looking really really rough.) I did learn that he is one of the people who, if he changes his mind about buying something, will just put the original item any where. (This case would have been a package of tuna steaks with the beef flank steak.)(I went and put the tuna back with the other tuna steaks)

But...I do like him, and like being with him. It's some of the little things, though, that are a bit of a problem, but I don't want to just call it off for little things. Looks like I'm being too too picky. Perfection doesn't exist, and even if I found the guy I've been waiting for all my life, he's going to do things that annoy me, and I'm sure I'd do things that annoy him. I don't want to just drop this guy for little things, but I may end up doing just that. And of course, the tshirt thing may have been a one time thing...but I don't know.

But, at any rate, thank you all for letting me get this off my chest (there is quite enough there as it is), and thank you for your comments. There is a great bunch of people here.

Completely unrelated note, my oh my MJ is looking wierder than usual today.

Jeff, no tinfoil hat. (or tinfoil underwear either. I think he goes commando) A lot on em-chay-ails-tray. (wouldn't want any one doing a search on them to wind up here...) I've looked up some of the stuff he's mentioned, and I just can't really believe it.

And he did bring up area 51 Saturday, but only in passing.

Neo- try googling Elvis's ass, and see if you come up with pictures of the Human Crack Mountains on Uranus (my guess is alot of cottage cheese pics). And if so, Love me a foil hat.

I can always use another one.

Howdy Moaties! I trust everyone had a good weekend!! I had such a good one, that I'm in need of another one today. Ain't looking that way, though.

And while googling for tin foil hats I have seen a sight (not site - wait...) anyway, I have seen a sight that may make m swear off googling for good. Ack.

Of course, if he hadn't been showing me some of the websites he visits, I wouldn't have seen these:

(_!_) a regular arse

(__!__) a fat arse

(!) a tight arse

(_*_) a sore arse

Learn something new everyday.

Mr.Fishair, it was obviously a good weekend if you need another one to recover from it.

Susan... it may just be little things.. but it's a LOT of little things. The little things are the ones that annoy you in the long run. Because they happen all the time.. and they begin to grate and grate... BTW the tuna steak thing would have bugged me too.

Not to one-up Rita... (and once removed) but my parents used to own a burger bar, When the Eagles were touring in Christchurch, they stopped at my parents burger bar for a meal. My brother was working behind the counter at the time. Now my brother is highly unsubtle in the way all the men in my family are. Blunt in the extreme. So the Eagles are standing right there, he takes their order, and tells them "You had one good song. The rest were crap." The men in my life... I could cry if I wasn't laughing so much. Even if I had hated their music with a passion, I wouldn't have said a word. Funny thing is my brother has the most ecclectic tastes... I thought he would have liked some of their other stuff too.. (the song he liked was ... Moatelle... um I mean Hotel California).

Blogchik... glad you made it!!

oh... and Neo.. in case you ever need to "flash"

(@)(@) small ramparts

( @ )( @ ) large ramparts

Select that which is appropriate

wow.. I didn't think they would stop conversations.

*zips in*

We've MOVED AGAIN!?!?!?!

*zips out*


Ya'll ARENT supposed to move without me!!!

*goes to sulk in the corner*

*ends up reading what she missed on the last

Hi Higgy .. bye Higgy

Don't forget to zip up before you zip out!!

OK.. I'm getting bitter. Something just got blogged that I sent to Judi daaaaays ago... but credited to someone else. At least I know I'm funny enough for the blog. I'm just lost in a pile of email. I can live with that. Most days.


Hi Bangi..

I was away posting on Lab's Moat (warning for dial-uppers.. takes about a week and a half)

arent behinds the cutest body parts ever?

Kaf--guess what. i had no idea the main blog was up and running until ur post. for some reason i kept getting connected to March 8th... and i only found the rest of the MB in archives.

technology hates me

as long as there's enough on them to hold onto Bangi!!

btw.. (and I am genuinely happy about this.. despite previous rant.. ) Bis just got posted on the MB.. all I can say is... Not at my dinner table.. or at any other time.

Bangi.. photocopiers hate me. Don't ask me why. They have ganged up. Of course, now I know how to fix almost any photocopier in existence, even ones I've never seen. It's a gift. Sort of.

*recovrs frm heart attack*
gee thanx Neo... i tied getting rid of a virus with help from very thorough detailed instructions frm the Norton website, all of which i promptly forgot...and i was stuck with Safe Mode all evening and my mouse wouldnt work and i kept jabbing Tab, Ctrl, Alt, Delete, F8 and the arrow buttons randomly until SOMETHING happened.

i dunno if i managed to get rid of the virus but Windows warns that the mousectrl.exe file cant be found. i dont think i care.

ok... was trying to remember the addy for a prank javascript thing i used to have. I remember part of the addy had hahaha.. so I googled that... go on.. try it... and see if #10 makes you laugh at all.

Kaf, that is really unbelievable, not to mention incredibly tactless. Jackie's father used to be like that. He drove a cab for 35 years and had many famous people as passengers but was always blase (with him it was NOT an act). Barbra Streisand demanded "don't you know who I am?" He said yes and she was clearly annoyed he didn't fawn all over her. If you wanted to get his attention it took a friendly attitude and a big tip, no matter who you were.

*flashes in*

Well, if I can't zip (because it's taken, ALTHOUGH Joshkr doesn't seem to think so!) what else is one to do? It worked for Flash Gordon!

Ok, I suppose I should 'spill the beans' on what my "cliff hanger" was this past weekend. Here goes .....

We're a few days short of 30 days til MOATaversary, so I propose the following:

************ A CONTEST (or 2) ***************

1. Through a review of the MOAT, Field Trips (2, or 3?), Y and BLOAT determine "The Essence of the MOAT". What are we? What best defines us? Provide a reference, i.e.

Blah, blah, blah-blah, and blah

Posted by:(enter MOATie here)on "date"

A Poll on the Y will be open for voting.

2. List, in highest ranking order, 10 (yes TEN!) MOATies you feel best define the values, meaning and/or spirit of the MOAT.

The top 10 of these will be entered into a Poll on the Y for voting (If we can do that on the Y....)

3. Provide recommendations for awards, or methods of recognition, for the top 3 of each of the above.

...that is all... Happy MOAT hunting!

*slip & slides out*



Wow kibby... that sounds like a full on exercise. This is gonna be interesting.

Jeff... sadly .. all the men in my family are like that in public. Privately, they're quite different. But you have to get past all the blather. I've kinda given up, because I try to tell people what they're really like, but I have no proof to back it up.

Good afternoon Moaties!

*looks around at newest Moat*

Nice digs guys... I'm in need of something tropical though, the weather up here is really getting to me.. can we maybe have all the male Moaties dance around in Hula skirts or something?

Susan - Thats JUST WRONG. If you can handle his little quirks, thats totally fine, but this hygiene.. not a personality quirk.

I have one word: Ewh.

*hands around Killer Coffees*

I know this isn't the Killer Moat.. but I don't like the look of those Jailbreaks.. they just sound kinda yucky (for want of a better word), so I'm sticking with the coffee for a bit.

Hasta la after work-a

This is Elvis Rock, Kaf - didn't you see the Graceland poster?

*accepts a killer coffee from Kaf*

Have a good one Kaf! Don't work too hard...

*waves buh-bye*

*S&S in*

We have one word Di,

How'd the date go?

Ok, that was allot of words.

*S&S out*
*cape swooshes*

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