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December 27, 2004


Gay Penguins

(Thanks to Andrea Brosgall)


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first. and let's not tell rush, fallwell, robertson, and all the rest of those guys about THIS.

Try the Gay Penguin with squid on the side, but don't eat your rice too soon. For dessert, try a scoop of Gay Penguin Ice Cream.

I wonder if they wear people thongs?

This story has been mounting for years.


Key quote: "Many of the gay male pairs and two of the female pairs were seen performing mounting behavior, it said."

How could they tell that the pairs that did not perform mounting behavior were gay? Just the way they walked.

New Show: Queer Guy Lookin' At Gay Penguins
"Oh, now that's a gay penguin! Look at how it's shaking its moneymaker!"

Also, is "Hey Baby, can I buy you a drink AND perform some mounting behaviors?" a good pickup line? You know, for gay penguins?

Hey C-bol - as usual, great blog this week!!!

Great research Trystan! And it explains where the popular cut-down, "You couldn't even separate a pair of gay penguins by force" comes from.

C'bol -

Yeah. Penguins aren't like dogs where you can throw water on them. Penguins would LOVE it! (Or so I've been told...)

Good point. And just forget about playing Puccini's La Boheme and throwing warm honey on them. That doesn't work either.

You know we should have figured this out along time ago people.

Just look at the name PENGUIN.

Clearly Guin is a well known name for a Drag Queen and Penning another one down by brute (albeit gay) force is something I've seen many a gay male attempt.
Obviously that's where the name originated from after several heated mounting attacks on innocent Eskimos.

Well. Ok, probably not.

Love me the honey, will ya?

'I met her on a berg in McMurdo Sound
where you eat fresh squid and it tastes just like plankton cola'

Trystan - I remember that story - I thought this sounded familiar when I read it -

I wonder if we have any here at our San Diego Zoo - we probbly do but this is such a conservative area they are no doubt segregated from the other penguins - could be contagious, ya know!!!!

So...this male penguin goes out for a Sunday drive and his car breaks down. Luckily for him there is a garage nearby and he coasts on in.
The mechanic says "I'll take a look at it but it's gonna be awhile."
The penguin says, "That's okay, I see an ice cream stand just down the road and I think I'll go get myself an ice cream cone."
So he waddles over to the stand and gets himself a double-scoop vanilla ice cream cone. It's a little tricky holding on to it with his flippers, and he gets ice cream on his beak and his face. By the time he's finished the cone, he's back at the garage.
The mechanic looks up from under the hood and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin indignantly replies, "It's ice cream, buddy. I ain't that kinda guy."

The Contagious Gayness of Penguins wbagnfarb

christobol - La Bohem doesn't work but honey and BM Mandy works

BMing Mandy is unpleasant, I bet.

Dang, I was gonna post the "blew a seal" joke...

I heard that joke told differently -

The mechanic looks up from under the hood and says, "Looks like someone tried to perform mounting behaviors on your manifold."
The penguin saucily replies, "That was me. I'm gay."

Omg! you peps r sickning!

Trystan's link to a university archive may give us the article in its entirety for free, but the posted excerpts sound just like a feature in the NY Times Metro section a couple of years ago (with photos), which you could presumably see online for a few dollars. The article basically said that no one had known about gay penguins because no zoo had large colonies of penguins before.

The gay penguin thing is not only not news, but it's the kind of thing that everybody knows. In towns where all the news is fit to print, anyway.

People raised on farms talk about same-sex animal behavior now and then, mostly nipped in the bud. Who knows what other species have seriously gay tendencies?

Given the apparent Fascist Nudity Police trends, reported recently on the blog, people don't even want to see bodies, let alone see what they do. We'll be lucky if we learn anything more about Mother Nature for a decade or two, til the attitude either wears off, or gets Lenny Bruced to death.

music for the penguins: Frankie Goes To Antarctica

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