PLEASE, MISTER POSTMAN
Stay the hell away.
(Thanks to many people) .
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December 28, 2004
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no -
*now is really going back to bed*
Posted by: Eleanor | December 28, 2004 at 08:31 AM
"Mail's here!"
"Rats"
"Oh, didn't your order come in?"
"No, I mean rats"
"Ewwwwww."
Posted by: Christobol | December 28, 2004 at 08:32 AM
That guy is a piece of work!..
Posted by: julietine | December 28, 2004 at 08:33 AM
Rats! Dead birds! Used condoms!
Someone with too much time on their hands and a very sick mind!
Am I ......?
Posted by: Eleanor | December 28, 2004 at 08:33 AM
"So, what did you get from Fred?"
"A dead bird - and you?"
"A dead rat - what did John get?"
"A deflated balloon, I think..."
EWWWWWWWWWWW....
Posted by: Higgy | December 28, 2004 at 08:33 AM
how did my "no comment come in first
where will this one be???
when there (not their) were 3 others when I posted it???
Just lucky I guess!
where will this one be??? *thinks there is a Zen thing going on - is Richard Gere lurking???*
Posted by: Eleanor | December 28, 2004 at 08:40 AM
It was good to note that he was being held without bail. Unfortunately, the terrioists may be taking notes.
Posted by: kat | December 28, 2004 at 08:41 AM
i lived in binghamton when i was in grad school. believe me, there is nothing else to do there. my question is did he FIND dead rats, or did he uh, do em in????
Posted by: queensbee | December 28, 2004 at 09:11 AM
Mmmm ... used condoms.
Mom: Sweetie ... your uncle sent you a gift for your brithday ... do you want to open it?
Susie: Yeah!
*grabs package, shakes it and shruggs shoulders*
Susie: I wonder what it is?
Mom: Open it!
*stares as used condom at the bottom of the box (no pun intended)*
Susie: I think it's a balloon animal, but the air got out of it. And it has vanilla pudding inside. Uncle Buck is weird, Mom.
Mom: Um .. uh ... *cough*... why don't you go play outside, honey, while Mom makes a call to Uncle Buck to "thank" him ...
Susie: Can I bring my new toy?
Mom: No. Mommy needs to save that as evidence when she gets arrested for killing Uncle Buck.
Susie: Um ... OK.
*scampers off*
Action, cut, print.
Posted by: punky brewster | December 28, 2004 at 09:14 AM
My Dear Sweetheart:
I'm writing you
just a few lines to
tell you that I'm blue
Oh, Baby, my baby
funny, but I still love you
I miss your love - so it seems
I still remember how I used to make you scream
Oh, Baby, my baby
funny, but I still love you
I don't care who was right
and who was wrong
all I know is I'm so tired
so tired of being alone
So if you care
Like I care
grab the next train
and bring yourself back here
Oh, Baby, May baby
funny, but I still love you
P.S. Please ignore the dead rat and used condom - not one of my better moments, that.
Posted by: mudstuffin | December 28, 2004 at 09:20 AM
"Buck?"
"Speaking."
"What the hell are you thinking sending Susie a used condom?"
"Oh, dammit. That means the Chief of Police got a My Little Pony."
Posted by: Christobol | December 28, 2004 at 09:21 AM
*gEEzer*
*bus*
Posted by: mudstuffin | December 28, 2004 at 09:28 AM
My Little Pony, pretty parlor
I pretty up my little pony there
My Little Pony, pretty parlor
Lovely hats for my pony to wear
My Little Pony, pretty parlor
A saddle, bridle and a kitten, too
My Little Pony, pretty parlor
Little pony it's all for you
My Little Pony, pretty parlor
Little pony it's all for you.
Posted by: punky brewster | December 28, 2004 at 09:41 AM
No no, Punky, off the bus. You're much too young.
Posted by: mudstuffin | December 28, 2004 at 09:44 AM
Creep: How much to mail these ?
Postal Person: What you got there?
C: The usual. Dead birds. Used Condoms.You know ,same old,same old.
P: Do I ever ! Well, first class, is $4.00, but we can overnight for $7.50
C: That's kind of steep! I'm not really in a hurry, those rats aren't getting any deader, you know.
P: Were you harrassing anyone with these?
C: Well, errr. you see...
P: Because if you were, we've got special 'Stalker Class' where for $2.00,we'll
deliver it in the middle of the night,with a note attached using the misspelled obscenity of your choice !
C: Great !
Posted by: insomniac | December 28, 2004 at 10:07 AM
It's quiet out here. Too quiet. I get the feeling theres a blogit behind every clump o' sagebrush. Waiting, just waiting...
Posted by: pogo | December 28, 2004 at 11:20 AM
right on insomniac - and they would charge you extra to "insure" yer dead rat. i'da sent it with not enough postage so that the anoy-ee would have to pay for his own dead rat. yuck.
Posted by: queensbee | December 28, 2004 at 11:25 AM
"Albatross!"
"Get your Albatross here!"
Posted by: jamester | December 28, 2004 at 04:05 PM
So, what's the difference between an alliator and a mailbox? The question finally has a direct answer: You feed rats to the alligator.
Posted by: Alex D. | December 28, 2004 at 06:46 PM
What's the difference between an alligator and a change machine? Answer; You feed dollars to the change machine.
Posted by: kat | December 28, 2004 at 07:19 PM