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December 31, 2004

NEW YEAR'S EVE ADVISORY

Black Russians. The drinks, we mean. Avoid them, unless you are a trained expert.

We speak from experience here. The experience was, back in the 1970s, when we lived in Pennsylvania, we woke up on New Year's Day lying on a lawn. And it was not our lawn. We're still not sure whose lawn it was.

So be advised. And if you have any cautionary New Year's Eve stories you would like to share with the group, feel free to put them in the comments section. Thank you.

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You too, Philippe!

After drinking all standard flavoring ingredients once in college, we raided the fraternity kitchen and mixed (and I swear I am not making this up):

1. Mustard daiquiris
2. Instant mashed potato daiquiris
3. Hot dog daiquiris

The mustard daiquiris weren't actually that bad.

JU

Cheap wine (I'm talking the fortified stuff), warm Budweiser (wiser... maybe afterwards but it was definitely stupid at the time) and Peppermint Schnapps... you can imagine what happened... I don't recall a nice peppermint flavor though.

Mountain cabin. Fifth of Pepe Lopez taquila.

Peeing through railing off front porch...
leaning over railing to visually monitor repacking of goods in trowsers...
leaning over too far....

...falling off porch.

Regaining consciousness some time later (estimated at 5 minutes).

Realizing only the next day that I had to have landed in my own product.

JU

(prevailing theory: Pepe pushed me.)

I got myself into a frightening state with a batch of homemade hand grenades. I think they were made with Midori liquor and added grain alcohol just to make sure they were lethal. They were lethal enough to provide a 2-day hangover. Things would have been better if I did barf, but I think that there may have been some other substance in my system *ahem* that inhibited barfing.

Nice girls don't throw up Southern Comfort into wicker wastebaskets.

Oh, we all learned a thing or two at college...

This New Year's eve, do NOT mix voodoo candles and Jagermeister. ESPECIALLY do not mix them if you are wearing an acetate mini-skirt that will go up in flames and/or melt onto your body within .02 seconds of contact with boiling paraffin wax and flash paper.

I'm just saying.

vodka/9 screwdrivers, ecstacy, and heroin don't mix

Pogo,

I have a wonderful recipe for 'cheese balls' They can be made in advanced and stored in the refrigerator indefinately. These are good to have on hand when the Republican Congress people return to Washington.
RECIPE:
(2) 8 oz. packages of Philladelphia Cream Cheese
1/3 cup parmesian cheese
1/2 cup of mayonnaise
1/4 cup chopped green onion
7 to 10 strips of crisply fried bacon crumbled

Make two balls and roll them in wax paper. Put the in the refrigerator over night. Then roll them in pecans or parsley.

Jello shots: bad idea

Jello shots to celebrate your 40th birthday, which occurs after your body has already started to fall apart and needs no further abuse: really bad idea

Jello shots to celebrate your 40th birthday, at a costume party full ot 20-year-olds, including a Batman in a VERY tight-fitting costume: eh, not so bad...

Ten...nine...eight...what comes after eight? eleven. Ten...nine...eight....seven...

Observation during the last 3 minutes of 2004 (CST): New Year's Eve is now officially my favorite holiday. It used to be Halloween, because any holiday that encourages cobwebs can't be all bad, but a holiday whose only requirement is to drink, and kiss at midnight--New Year's Eve rocks!!!

Happy Happy New Year!!

homeschooling count down to New Year...8,5,4,x,3,-there are more ?? (sorry, borrowed the idea from standup on Leno)

Another bad idea: Drink one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer. Repeat drinking one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer repeatedly until the lounge singer angrily orders the bouncer to escort you to the gutter. (Something about singing a different song off key in an excessively loud voice during his act.) Speaking hypothetically of course.

Hey!? What the heck happened to 2004? Did I miss something??

I have a Goldschlager t-shirt that, I am told, I won in a trivia contest held in a bar.

I remember neither the bar, nor the trivia contest.

Burffff.................do'tn di ot//// Happy yearnew ya;;llll

Congrats to cherie priest, who is now the official first commenter of 2005! ...at least for this entry.

My family played a rousing about five-hour-long game of Risk fow New Year's... and watched the giant John Belushi head french the Oprah head.

Not.. quite the traditional celebration we're used to.

I can beat Dave's story. Once I woke up in a strange lawn too. I was holding a sword. Never did figure out where it came from. I was so scared by this episode that I quit drinking. Forty years later.

ah the follies of youth! Of course I've never done anything I regret(like Hell!!!).Well anyway have a good year-I'm here working in the ER taking care of knuckle heads just like me!!!
Happy Gnu Year!

johnny walker w beer chasers. ugh. had to eat creme of mushroom soup for 3 days... ugh. i think it wasnt new yrs eve. just the worst alcohol experience i ever had.

A college friend once told me Everclear and Kool-Aid was of the devil.

On another note, I got "Peter and the Starcatchers" for Christmas. I can't quite decide what this says about my relatives' taste.

Morning all! Hope last night treated you well and you can see just one of me here. Anyway, I thought I'd pep you up a little with a tribute to Judi's favorite drink, in her honor:

Tequila Talking

I called about that conversation
That I had with you last night
It must have been a combination
Of shooters and neon lights
And I didn't really mean to say
I've been losing it since you left
Yeah, I may have said the words
But they came from somewhere else

(Chorus)
It was just the tequila talking
When I told you I'm still not over you
I get a little sentimental
When I've had one or two
And that tear in my eye was the salt and the lime
Not the memory of you walking
If I said I'm still in love with you
It was just the tequila talking

I don't know what they put in Cuervo
That got me to say those things
Usually I wouldn't care so much
Or make such a scene
But seeing you there in that dress you were wearing
Just drove me right out of my head
So don't hold me responsible
For anything I might have said

(Repeat chorus)

If I said I'm still in love with you
It was just the tequila talking.


Happy New Year!

I was very pleased to see that kat posted a recipe for me to try at least 5 hours after my last post last night and for no apparent reason.

I'm entertaining myself trying to figure out why.

why are we all awake, anyway??? ahh. the follies of my youth. where the heck is he anyway??

"snow shoes" a.k.a. peppermint schnappes and brandy. after 5 or 6 they become "shnow shoes". gives new meaning to the term "hitting th wall"............so i've heard

"snow shoes" a.k.a. peppermint schnappes and brandy. after 5 or 6 they become "shnow shoes". gives new meaning to the term "hitting th wall"............so i've heard

Ahh, Southern Comfort. A few vague memories:

1. Being thrown, fully clothed, into a frat party hot tub. A "friend of mine" met a boyfriend there (a very nice guy who climbed out of the tub,came back with a clean towel, and lifted her bodily out of the hot tub). She didn't notice until a month or two later that he was four inches shorter than her, and that it really bothered her to be taller. She had to get drunk again to break up with him because she was so embarrassed at being so shallow. Southern Comfort did the job.

2. I've heard a story about a girl who was friends with a popular BMOC, but secretly had a huge crush on him. After he served her several SoCo drinks, she apparently bet him that he couldn't (fool around) with her and not want her again. I think he took her up on it, but I wasn't there. Really. (However, she got a really good column out of it that let to a stringer position for the NYT, so it might have been worth it.)

3. There might have been a car ride to St. Louis from Champaign that involved slushies and SoCo. It might have ended with three couples stripping off some clothes and swimming in a hotel fountain. I'm not sure about that one either.

Boy, my friend was a real slut. It's a good thing I never drink Southern Comfort.

My number one New Year's Eve drinking caution to all:

Mudslides in one end create mudslides out the other end the following morning.

That is all.

Happy New year.

Jeff,

I woke up in someone else's pajamas.

So I guess it was pretty fun.

Wowser!

Great stories!

Been there.

Done that.

Puked on the T-shirt ... several times ...

A few specifics:

Bad ideas --

Fuzzy Navels (unlimited) while preparing the course for the annual Golf-on-the-Ice tournament ... and all the other guys are encouraging ... to say the least ... (They sorta sneak up on you.) (The Navels, not the guys.)

Volga Boatmen: They taste so great, you forget that they contain grain alcohol ... and they really sneak up on you !!! (To the tune of puking out the car door for about 16 blocks along University Avenue, while a few thousand high school kids attending the state tournement watch you leaning out the door being held open by one of your buddies -- you were sitting in the middle -- or so I've heard ...)

Vodka & Root Beer: Really sneaky stuff.

(These are only a few types of those I did not see mentioned.)

Trystan: TRUE! (14.5 years sans hangovers for moi ownself --- HOWEVER, remember what Ol' Blue Eyes would say --- "We feel sorry for those who don't drink, because when they wake up, that's as good as they're gonna feel all day!" I think he was quoting either Dean Martin, or Joe E. Lewis.)

EB -- Bismarck! (not Bismark) ... That's almost home, for moi ownself ... except at midnite I was stuck in this plane riding the red-eye flight back from Kona, and now I've gotta go back to work in SoCal ...

gotta go (back to work)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hope nobody got wrecked during the fun.

Nightmare "morning after" scenario:

Years ago, a Prominent Local Citizen (Tampa) woke up in the following circumstances:
1. In a room above a bar in the "low rent" part of town,
2. A 13 year-old girl was in bed with him,
3. Both were nekkid and covered with Wesson Oil,
4. A cop was standing at the foot of the bed.

It turned out that someone had slipped him a mickey. At least, that was his defense, and it worked.

Jeff ... I tease. When I say someone else's pajamas, I am refering to my friend, Erika's ... I spilled wine all over mine.

A night of drunken sex with someone I don't really know, even on New Year's, is really unappealing to me.

Hot, steamy, drunken sex with a guy I'm totally in love with, on the other hand ... all things good. But alas ... no love for punky ... maybe this year :)

Jeff M,

Yes, I think I DID see enough TV to remember hearing about your "White Christmas @ Jackson Square."

Actually, the V&RB is a lot better than it sounds ... as I recall. The vodka takes the slight tang out of the RB, and the RB adds a dash of sweetness to the vodka, but not too much.

I was never really one of those "sweet glop" drinkers, but v&rb managed to get the job done quite nicely on several occasions. Comparatively hangover-free, as I recall.

Volga Boatman (singular):
(Prolly goes by other names in other parts of the country)

1 pint 100-proof vodka
1 pint apricot brandy
1 quart Orange Juice (watch out for that last, OJ will kill ya)
For added excitement, add just a dash of "juice" from a jar of Maraschino cherries ... (syrup, or whatever is in those bottles, besides the cherries)

Mix all together in an appropriately sized container ... a 2-quart plastic juice container works well ...

and said vessel is a "disguise" of sorts, if one worries about that sort of thing, along with the added bonus of being less breakable when various imbibers toss the jug around the room when in a sharing mood ...

Again, sweet, but not overly so ... can't even taste the booze ...

Repeat above, as needed.

Goes down great with no miserable or complicating side-effects ... until one tries to move ... think ... or live.

My problem on the day described earlier stemmed from pouring several beers down on top of the "more refined" taste of the Boatman ...

["If I just hadn't had those three schooners of Frenchy's Finest On Tap ... " Yeah. Right. As I recall, three of us downed about a gallon of the Boatman before we wandered off to the tavern ... ]

Ancient Age whiskey and Hydrox cookies.

picture the vomit. yes. exactly.

Also not good.....

eating biscuits and sausage gravy after having consumed
any amount of alcohol.

As it turns out, if you drink half a bottle of straight tequila, the whites of your eyes turn blood red and stay that way for a solid week. (Why do so many of the stories blogged here seem to involve tequila?)

The Volga Boatman reminds me of a drink we used to mix in college. First time I had it we had been hiking and I had impaled my leg on a yucca plant. So of course, we had to have a yucca party...

In a gallon jar filled with ice add 1C sugar and squeeze in 3 lemons and three limes... throw the rinds into the jar after squeezing. Add a fifth of vodka and tighten the lid on the jar. Wrap the jar in a large towel and shake vigorously until a frost forms on the outside of the jar (this takes about a half hour... that's why its yucca party... you need a group to shake the jar that long).

We used to pass the jar and take drinks from it... but I would recommend serving in a chilled martini glass or over ice, be sure to strain out the citrus seeds.

because tequila is Evil, with a capital incoherent sound of agony. i would be adding tequila stories of my own here but they're all so very boring. "so i cracked open the tequila and... uh, that's all i really remember." repeat.

My worst New Years Eve.... Dec 31, 2000. Playing Pictionary with my republican brother-in-law and his equally republican friends.... With NO alcohol!!!!!

Aw Punky, that's so sad. First Dave leaving and now the thought of you alone. At least know that WE love you, as little good as that will do you in the hot sex department. (And I figured you were kidding. After all, if it was a night of drunken sex with a stranger you would not have been wearing pajamas when you woke up, right?)

Jeff ... LOL. You rock! But seriously, I'm not sad. So you shouldn't be.

*smooch*

How about Jagermeister and redbull...love the warm grape soda taste, even though it is cold. The best part was climbing up on the bar for an impromptu (ie after hours) wet t shirt contest and slipping off the bar and on the floor...twice?

Thank you, Jeff.

Lmd33: burn, baby, burn.

Pogo,
You had mentioned to Dave earlier about the reason the Republican Congress left Washington and the reason they were returning several months in the future. The recipe for the cheese balls are for the Democratic Colonists to use as 'ammo'
(wink, wink!)

Bananas, ice cream, and everclear 190 proof...I still don't understand how my friend could get his dress shirt buttoned to his trousers, nor why he could sleep like that across that little bitty sink. I think he was just tired. But I must admit that I did have a great deal of difficulty riding up and over the curb, but at least I didn't have to drop a load in someones garden amidst all that hooting and hollering. Sheesh!

Didn't end up in the emergency room, Jeff. But I probably should have. Quarter shots and a five dollar bill = bad news.

On the upside, I haven't been drunk since.

Lesson learned.

Didn't end up in the emergency room, Jeff. But I probably should have. Quarter shots and a five dollar bill = bad news.

On the upside, I haven't been drunk since.

Lesson learned.

The drunkest I ever got was on White Russians (continuing the theme), in St. Petersburg, Russia, in November. Last November. Just couldn't stop. My friend (female) had to walk me home, and thank goodness she did. I had a 2-day hangover after that.

White Russians are good, but hard to stop.

As to the earlier Everclear referrences, I must concur that staying away from it is the best option. Anything that tastes (when mixed with Cherry Kool-aid) like the cough syrup you detested as a child and produces (when mixed with fire) a flame spurt roughly the size of a baby killer whale, should be avoided at all costs.

If we're not supposed to drink & drive, please tell me why bars have parking lots?

I haven't been drunk since.

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