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December 15, 2004


Right here.

(thanks to Tyler Wilson)


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chocolate filled corn!!!

I knew better than to come read the poo blog just before going to bed. If I hate one chocolate filled corn dream ... I'm too tired to think what I'd do. Well, I thought about posting a topic related link but think it's probably a little too dirty for the blog. Though, after reading about chocolate filled corn i'm beginning to wonder. yuuuuck.

Debbie: NAME SIX! (reasons the Irish are such good targets ... I'm Irish, but I love a good joke ...)

Eleanor: I believe it was Mark Twain who said "Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics."

r.e. poopies/farts: Rule #3 from Dan Jenkins (as we reach a certain age) "Never trust a fart."

Somewhere North: r.e. PC jokes and the groups you can talk about.
Long ago I was asked to speak at a special gathering. My Bride told me to not get carried away with all (any) of my jokes. Especially the "ethnic" ones.
I asked her what she meant.
She said, "Well, no Norwegians, no Irish, no German, no British, no ... "
You get the idea.
So I tried to think of a group that perhaps wasn't around any longer.
"How about Pharisees?" I asked.
She allowed that ... well, she didn't recall hearing about any Pharisees hanging around lately ... so that was probably okay.
So I told the following joke:

"There were these two Pharisees ... named Sven and Lars ..."

[What, exactly, IS a Pharisee? Lily? Help?]

Uncle O.-All sane people are in bed now, but the 'lies, damned lies, and statistics' quote has an interesting history. It appears in Mark Twain's autobiography which was published after his death, but there Twain attributes it to Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli. However, there is no other record of Disraeli ever saying it. But why Twain would not take credit for a good line is a mystery if he himself had said it.


Yeah, well, I'm showing signs of sanity, 'cuz I'm almost asleep ... at the wheel, as it were ... (long day on the job, at the wheel, actually)

That IS interesting, I wasn't trying to show off or nuttin' ... it was just that this was how I remembered it ... possibly from one of several books of quotations I have, or some other vague source in another millennium, in another century ...

Now that I think (?) about it, the Disraeli thing might just ring a very tiny bell ... whatever.

Mebbe Twain was paraphrasing something of Disraeli's, hence the credit line ...

Uncle O -
At the time Jesus Christ walked the earth, the Pharisees were the "conservative party" within Judaism. They held very strictly to the Torah and the Talmud and were very outwardly moral. They were the leaders of the majority of the Jews, mostly the "common people." They were revered by their followers for their religious zeal and dedication, and they were held up as models worthy of imitation. Their main opposition was the party of the Sadducees, who were the "liberal party" within Judaism. They did not believe that the damned will be punished eternally in hell and that the saved will dwell eternally in heaven. The Sadducees were popular among the high-class minority.

Somewhere North - I gotta ask, what are Newfies? Newfoundlandzians?

A human subgroup, we know for true
Are overly concerned with their poo
Thrilled with "ropes", or just a blast or two
It's so interesting in the loo

...But first, Roo Roo!!!

MOTW, I fully expected you to say something about the 'People's Front of Judea' or at least the 'Judean People's Front.'

MOTW- People who live in Glasgow go by the moniker Glaswegians...

"Impacted Fecal Matter" wbagnfarb.

Sandy, that's not what most people mean when they talk about getting sh** faced.


TNX muchly. I sorta had a (very) vague idea about the Sadducees and Pharisees, but you made it very clear.

I did know (not no) that it was Jewish-connected, but not the particulars.

TNX again. (I'll hafta come up with another 'ethnic' now, for my after-dinner speaking engagements.)

Fed, thank you. You've made my day. I copied, pasted, and sent your list to my favorite people, with the heading "In case anyone asks why I'm sitting here at my desk, shaking, snorting, red-faced from holding in hysterical laughter, here is the reason:"

They already think I'm crazy.

Its clearly a rip off of SNL.

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