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November 11, 2004


...but I'll do it, so people will stop sending it in.

(Thanks to many people)


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Bad mood. Grumpy. Depressed.

I just scrolled back and reread from where I took over this MOAT to try to recapture something or another. There was nothing there worth reading. There's nothing here worth reading either.


Hrrrmmph! You are saying that skid marks aren't worth reading? Well!

Then try here.

(Cheer up, Lab. There's only room for one of us to be in this deep blue funk at a time, and I'm not done yet!)

I didn't get nothin' but the amazon prime announcement page.

Okay, fart noises are FUNNY.

Key Quote:"I'm entirely serious when I say that buying fish is more challenging than cooking it..."

Yeah, If there's one thing I ain't, it's easily bought.

You want me to do What?

Oh, for beer?

Sure I'll do it!

Well, Ok, maybe not so much.

(hmmm I just clicked it again and it worked so well that I mistakenly click on one while I was on the phone with a customer and it blasted out a LOUD *toot!* and I couldn't help but get the giggles. The guy on the other end of the phone said, "um, are you Ok?")

Oh jeeez.

Ahem, Where were we?

I believe it was....

You Ain't No Street Walker Mama, Honey But I Do Love The Way You Strut Your Stuff

Fool in the Rain

*sets Grue trap*


*turns out the lights*

*shouts from the doorway, without leaving the Secret Hideout*

Well, I figured there ought to be SOMEthing worth reading SOMEwhere on Amazon.com!

I cannot believe I just sat and listened to farts. Each and every one, mind you. Some of them twice. Oh dear.

Neo listens to fart noises and likes the three stooges. Incontrovertable proof that Neo is really a guy.

Um... Hm. Not sure how to disprove that, Lab, except to tell you that the ramparts are real and I gave birth three times. And I have no ding ding to access.

Though on your side of the argument, I've never liked shopping. Uh-oh.

*grumble* *grumble* just rebuilt everything and now I find out that I needed to install the new schema first so I have to start all over and thus be bored for another couple of hours *grumble*

So you say, Neo. How 'bout pictures? Mr.Fish, do you mind inspecting some tasteful-but-nude photos of Neo so that we can determine, once and for all, the veracity of her claim to being a woman?

Um. Not a good idea. As we learned from Tina's experience with Dr. Swearword, never leave photographic evidence of anything, ever. And what do pics prove, anyway? How well did any of you do on those shemale photo tests?

The shemales were not nude! Even *I* would have noticed a ding-ding.

No, not at all Lab. As long as it's in the name of Science.

And Neo, looking at nude pics proves anyway that we in fact, do have ding dings.

But now that you mention Shemale photos I seem to notice that my ding ding has run for shelter.

Fool in the Rain

If Six was Nine (my favorite Hendrix tune)

And if 6 really was 9, my favorite number would be 99. ;)

*runs back to secret hideout*

*drops photo as she runs*

(I'm the one in the front)

*puts on even more layers*

*turns on light*
*looks at the picture*
heh heh.... cute. Nice skin - looks so soft.

*wanders aimlessly around, now that the lights are on*

*steps in grue trap*

Laaaaaab!!! Oooh, one of these days!

*slowly comes to the realization that she is trapped here for the night*

*finds Neo disabled in Grue trap*

*rubs hands with glee (I always keep a tin of glee handy for such occassions)*


Sorry Neo, I know NOTHING about Grue traps - in fact I didn't know you were a Grue to have been caught in one, but Lab, I do know a place to go when you are bored....

Wisiwyg, get me out of here, please??

WYSIWYG! Come back! I need you!

*applies more glee to hinges of Grue trap - its damned useful stuff you know*

*pries jaws of trap from neo's leg*

*rubs some blog butter onto brused mark on neo's leg*

There! You'll be right as rain in no time!

*stands back to admire handiwork*

*steps into Grue trap and becomes trapped himself*


*dons puss-in-boots face*


(sorry neo - was out to grab a bite to eat earlier)


[aside, in stage whisper] I finally have him where I want him! *rubs hand with glee*

[in regular voice, to Wysiwyg] You're right, that IS good stuff!

[aside again] The question is, now that I have him, what do I DO with him??

*unfastens Grue trap and reluctantly sets Wysiwyg free*

I'm not allowed to bring any more pets home.

That's OK, I'll just follow you home and hang around on the front doorstep looking cold and hungry until someone takes pity on me. Works for dogs and cats, why not for me?

If Six was Nine

(then what is)

Nine Times Blue?

sorry, I got distracted remembering a dog house, of all things. It was a very nice dog house and I have fond memories of it.

Yes, I know, I'm strange that way.

Nine Times Blue?


Bluer Than That.

Funny you mention a dog house as a fond memory - one of my fondest memories was a camping trip. There were lots of spiders though, and I *hate* spiders.

Bluer Than That

That's The Way I Remember It

Camping can be great fun. But I don't worry about spiders. I worry about bears. And alligators.

That's The Way I Remember It

Thanks For the Memory


Thanks For the Memory

May You Always

May You Always

Say You Miss Me

Hey, Lab... that was so nice of you to leave that Grue trap out for me to step in. Very thoughtful.

How... how shall I say this?

How polite of you. :P

Oh yes, I'm very polite.


Are you tooting your own horn Lab?

Everybody Blow

That is my song title; I'm still playing the game. Sheesh.

Looks like everyone is trying to access the Memphis in May webpage at the same time. Still can't get to the lineup.

I shot my wad yesterday with all the Cracker songs. I'm spent. I got nothin'


*rubs his hands with Glee®*

*emits evil laugh*

Wow. That stuff is powerful!

Sweet Mother of Monkey Doots! I spent all that time trying to get to the Memphis in May website (memphisinmay.org) because the lineups for the Beale Street Festival were supposed to be announced today, and NOTHIN'. The new web site looks nice and all, but NO LINEUPS!

(or uplines and the Wench typed it this morning!)

(AS the Wench typed... AS)

Everybody Blow

Baby Talks Dirty

Ahh, lineups, schmineups. You know there'll be good music. And one ticket lets you listen to it all, right?


I am not following any links until I have high speed next week so most of these postings aaare maing no sense to me at all - but I shall continue to read them anyway.

End of Announcement

Baby Talks Dirty

You Are My Everything


I am not following any links until I have high speed next week so most of these postings aaare maing no sense to me at all - but I shall continue to read them anyway.

End of Announcement

Baby Talks Dirty

You Are My Everything

I rarely follow links, Eleanor. But sorry if I added to any confusion.

It's up! The lineup is up! OMG! Great lineups! Neo, you have GOT to go!

where are the lineups? I've been checking out the site, but I see no lineups!

oh! I see, they hid it under "lineups." That's what confused me.

*snork* I hate being so ignorant. In the first two days, there is one band I recognize: Switchfoot. And that is only because they played at my church one time and I served them supper.

You fed switchfoot?

*walks in, hears echo of footsteps*

Hello? 'lo? 'lo?

neo, that's amazing! How'd you manage to serve dinner while switching feet?


Actually, I sorta know the feeling. I like bands from between the '60s and the mid-'90s. After that, I probably haven't heard of 'em.


You Are My Everything

Glad All Over

Hmmm, did I really feed Switchfoot? Honest answer: I don't know. Probably.

We have had three "big" concerts at our church. Each had one headliner band and usually two warm up bands.

For two of the concerts, I was a volunteer who helped serve meals to the bands, take care of their problems, etc. (For example, one guy had a tooth break and we had to find an emergency dentist.)

Personally, I have absolutely NO recollection of who the bands were. Even at the time, I couldn't have told you who was playing, or which were warm up bands and which were the main act. I'm just very clueless about things like that.

BUT, just the other day, the people in the band that I sing with were remembering the "good old days." Things like: Remember when we had those concerts at our church? One of the warmup bands was Switchfoot; that was before they got so big.

So if my friends' recollections are correct, there is a two out of three chance that I served Switchfoot their supper one night.

Glad All Over

Return of the Spiders

I've heard of 21 of the 63 bands listed on the web site. (The PDF version is a little different)
I own CDs from about six of them, or so. I'd like to own more, and I wish I recognized more of the blues artists.

I finally figured out that I am just not an auditory learner. I can hear a song a zillion times, but unless I sing it (and prefereably read it) I simply can't retain it. Doesn't mean I don't still enjoy the music though!

I bet I don't know all the lyrics to more than a dozen songs. Even twelve sounds like too many now that I think about it.

But I can hum along to pretty much any guitar solo.

What's that mean?

And yes, I had to call the church office to be sure, but I fed Switchfoot. You may all make an orderly line to kiss the hand, that stirred the soup, that fed the band, that played in the house that Jack built.

*tries to remember if Switchfoot's music was any good*

*bows low at Neo's feet*

*wishes she used odor eaters®*

*quickly adjusts skirt*

hmmm, let me clarify: *quickly adjusts skirt so that the throng who flocks to worship her feet as the woman who once served Switchfoot cannot see up her skirt*


Return of the Spiders

Simply Irresistable

*posts notice on the wall*
Gauntlet Throwing Lessons

Saturday, March 4
10:00 a.m. - Noon
Lunch provided
Please register by email


«cough» «cough»
These floors need to be swept!

*grabs the broom*

Will the gauntlet throwing lessong interfere with the Raelean Feminity Parade? Don't know about gauntlets being thrown around all that female nudity...

...wait a minute. That has double entendre possibilities.

"Hey, baby! Nice double entendres!"
"Yeah, like I haven't been thrown that gauntlet before."

Like that, you mean?

"Nice double entendres!"
"Hey, you're not touching me until you get a gauntlet on that thing."

"Why don't we get out of here and go to my place? I have a whole gauntlet full of double entendres, and I'm dying to use them!"

*throws gauntlet at the floor*

*throws wet towel at the floor*

*drops bowling ball on the floor*

*throws sock full of nickels at the floor*

There it is!

I must say this to get it out of my system: Yeah, right.


heh heh... a club/dance version of "Comfortably Numb." Now that's funny!

*throws empty bottle of beer on the floor*


HEY! I *just* swept in here!


*hits Lab with snowball*

*runs away*

First she tricks me into drinking B^e.
Then she breaks a bottle on my freshly swept floor.
Then she hits me with a snowball.

Of course, you know, *this* means war!

well thank goodness! I couldn't get anybody over there -----> to fight with me

heh heh... go over there and see what I said about you.

*sneaks up behind Neo and hits her with a pillow*

pillow fight!!

good thing I'm already in my underoos.

*grabs pillow*

Stinky feet, eh, Lab? Ha! That isn't half as bad as everybody thinking you're very polite so -

*sees Mr. Fisher in his underoos*

Um.... yeah, and...

Hmmmm! What was I saying?

*wonders if Mr. Fisher is wearing underoos or underoo-roos*

Hmmmm, I don't think it counts because it didn't tollow Mr. Fisher's post, but because I like the sound of the title:

"Comfortably Numb"

and I'm follwing it with... (though I can't figure out if this is the title of the song or not!)

*snickers at the ear worm she is going to inflict...*

Numa Numa Ei

Wow! The ScroatMoat, aka Lab's Moat is alive and well. Haven't been here in ages!

Still looks good though.

I was numa numa'ing yesterday. I'm inoculated against it. Can't hear a thing.

Well, the actual title is "Dragostea din Tei," but it still ends with the same letter. Whatever.

I Can See for Miles

Numa Numa Ei

I Can't Stop Loving You

I am going to get this thread back on track - I've been away all day and you all have been behaving like hooligans - didn't your mothers raise you better than this???

*takes cream pie she was holding behind her back and smashes it into Lab's face*

hey neo, want to clean Lab's face? *hee hee*

heh heh, why, yes, Eleanor, I'd love to clean Lab's face!!

Alex, Dragostea din Tei? I googled and googled and googled, and couldn't come up with a site that listed the song, and everybody just refered to it as Numa Numa Ei - though I doubted that was the real title. Well, thank you for enlightening me, though I can guarantee that I won't remember that title.

wow.. I've been gone a couple of days.. and the Lab Moat goes slightly bizarre... in a good way, of course.

Numa Numa Ei

Eat It

"numa numa" reminds me of a dirty joke.


Sly, don't tease; you've got to go ahead and tell the joke.... please?

Hmmmm. It seems that I can choose:

1. I Can See for Miles
2. I Can't Stop Loving You or
3. Eat It

I will award a prize to the bloglit who can incorporate all these elements into one song. The contest will begin...


Miles (Davis), I See I Can't Stop You Eating Me

And you can take that anyway you like... I'm invoking that rule about having a really great title that doesn't follow rules 1 or 2

And I Love It

just sayin' is all.

OK, here's the joke.

A lovely woman went to her gynecologist for a check-up. During the exam, the doctor said, "uh-oh".

"what's wrong?"

"looks like we're going to have to numb it."

"numb it? How"

The doctor bends his head down between her legs and goes "numnumnumnum"

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