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November 27, 2004


The Miami Herald continues to be all over this important story. Meanwhile, courageous journalist/blogger Jim DeFede is motoring west in a rented Cadillac with the actual sacred sandwich, and a Lotto ticket.

If the Herald doesn't win a Pulitzer prize for this, the Pulitzers are fixed.


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Am I first again?

At FIRST I thought that the image was Marilyn Monroe. Guess any beardless image must be the VM. Hope she has a nice trip.

Maybe if her face was on a cheese burger, then it might meet the Catholic Church's criteria of a divine apparition, whatever that means.

But if it doesn't, just eat it!

Hay, Jim!

What's wrong with Ford Mustangs? I'll bet Mary really prefers them. Wanta bet? I bought her one when she was a senior in high school because it was "One of Her Favorite Things" It was a '67 model.

I had it completely rebuilt. Then when we went on my vacation back to AR, her father and his new wife came over to the house and stole it. When I got back, I went to the police to report. They said they couldn't do anything because it was a family matter! Justice in Florida is a piece of s--t!

Wow, Dave!

You and Jim are probably on top of the biggest story of the year, just hope Jim doesn't eat it!

He looks pretty hungry in most of his pictures!

Any truth to the rumor that the grilled cheese Virgin Mary called for the building of a 50 foot high George Foreman grill in Orlando? Or that Father Guido Sarducci will sanction it as a miracle.

To meet the Catholic Church's criteria of a divine apparition, Diana Duyser (who grilled the VMGCS) must:

1. Build a chapel in her back yard;

2. Produce the apron she wore while grilling the VMGCS upon which is emblazoned Mary's image;

3. Prove that the water gushing from her kitchen floor is not due to a malfunctioning low-flow toilet or other plumbing problem;

4. Predict World War III will start in 2024 (the necessary lapse of 20 years or so).

Of course, if she's right about WW III, the whole world might look like a grilled-cheese sandwich.

Maybe Jim shoulda asked Diana if he's gona win the lottery!

Whatever you guys do... don't stop at C-bol's house with that sandwich.. he has a thing for them...

The connection is all full of holes. (Swiss)

There's a lot of static on the line right now.
Do you feel the charge?
I think that there is a positive 'spirit' trying to "come through."
Perhaps it is the 'spirit' of Abraham Lincoln. ( I think that he wants you to tell the truth!)
You really aren't 29, are you? Well, happpy birthday, anyhow!

You may think I'm foolish
For the crazy things I do
You may wonder how come I love you
When you clog arteries like you do
Well baby you know you move me
There ain't no secret 'bout that
Well come on over here and see me
Baby I'll spill the facts
Well honey let me taste your white bread
'Cause baby nothing's better than that
Let me get you in the pink Cadillac
Hot velveeta treat
Let's hop in the back
You're oozing down the seat
Who needs a real girl
They don't treat you right
Cover you with honey
On a Saturday night
Baby I just wonder what you'll do there in back
Of the pink Cadillac
Pink Cadillac

Well now way back in the Bible
Temptations always come along
There's always somebody tempting
Somebody into doing something they know is wrong
Well they tempt you, man, with silver
And they tempt you, sir, with gold
But you tempt me with the pleasures
Of miracle cheese that won't grow mold
They say Eve tempted Adam with an apple
But man I ain't going for that
I know it was grilled-cheese in a Cadillac
Hot velveeta treat
Let's hop in the back
Oozing down the seat
Who needs a real girl
They don't treat you right
Cover you with honey
On a Saturday night
Baby I just wonder what it feels like in the back
Of a pink Cadillac
Now some folks say it's a fake
And it'll give me gas
Some folks say it's so old
I'll get sick real fast
But my love is stronger than mold spore
It's stronger than an cheese-borne flu
Hey man there's only one thing
In one car that will do
Anyway we don't have to drive it
Honey we can park it out in back
And have a party in the pink Cadillac

i scraped the burnt part of my toast with a butter knife this morning and it looks like db.

Hey Guys,

Am I the one who thinks that Jim conned the Miami Herald into paying for an across the USA trip just so that he could gamble in Vegas???...and why a Cadillac?...what's wrong with just a plain old Ford Escort???...Mary would not mind I am sure!

I saw Elvis' pink Cadillac.
It was parked right by the bank.
He was playing with his band that night,
Under the old full moon.
It was the White River Carnival,
They were looking for a "Queen".
I had to go to Batesville,
To see the "sight" yet unseen.
My sister was representing Newport,
I went to curl her hair,
She, along with all of the others,
Had their "sights' set high, like on the moon!
Well, it was the rock band that won my heart that night.
I had never heard such a sound!
That man from Mississippi
Really did "get on down!"
I don't remember who was crowned that night,
I was still in a state of shock!
It was the good 'ol rock and roll' that night that really made me 'rock!'

This whole obession with the Virgin Mary is way overrated. I saw the perfect image of Ramses II ("Son of Ra")in a pancake I grilled last spring. (Although my wife thought it looked more like his father Seti, the consensus of my fellow co-workers was that it was difinetly Ramses II) The interest on E-bay was much less than expected, although I did get one sizable bid from an Egyptian historian, Mr. Ali Matanami, but he wanted to pay me in 50 Piastre coins. I'm pretty sure those won't work in the coin car wash down the street.

whoa. i missed a whole lot. was away for the wkend... computer-less at mom's house. but i am back now, and glad to know that nothing has changed. the stupid is still sacred and the sacred, truly absurd. please pass the cheese sammich.

My "childsflyby" daughter was here too. She nearly passed out from the "fumes" emiting from the "Salmon Wellington," but not before she passed out from all of the wine!
She was really a big help ,though. she enlightened me all about "RooRoo." What an enlightening three day holiday! I would like to be a world class traveler,also.

Jim, maybe you could come by South Texas sometime in your "pink Caddie!" Red McCombs in San Antonio migh give you a good "trade-in" on your Cadillac. (Toy-toes get more mileage)

I like the magnificent Sphinx,
He is such a minx!
Have you seen him in Crete?
No, I have not seen him in Crete.

Have you seen him in Spain,
No, and I haven't seen him in my drain.
Have you seen him in Miami?
No, and not even in Alabami!

Whatever happened to Rameses the 2sd?
He was arm's bearer to Rames the 1st.
Did you see that famous duel?
Oh, yes, oh, yes, I was host!

Did you see the bread that I just baked you?
The cheese and the honeymede wine?
Well, if you don't like the climate,
That's just tough on your little behi-d!


Are you ok, Kat?


Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Kick it!!!!

Anybody read Dave's column this week?

Kick the damn ball.. round thing..ya know soccer, Italian for "KICK IT". Anyone.. McFly, Bueller.. anyone?

Kick it!!!

Kick him: A.R.Yngve, KICK HIM Somebody please read Dave's column this week and post something pertinent.

Have a anice day:)

By the way, anice day is a cold one. :)


I love you.

That is all. :)

Yes, Pee Jay,
I read Dave's column this week.
Don't forget old Grandmother's house, too!

I took care of that smell,
Everyone thought it was hell!
But he fish aroma lingered on.
So I bought a spray,
And it saved the day.
And the horse gave a great big NAY!


WELL, PETER THE PUMPKIN EATER COULD POSSIBLY TELL HIM. HOWEVER PETER HAD A WIFE AND COULDN'T KEEP HER SO HE PUT HER IN A NEW PINK CADILLAC. (he had smashed his last pumpkin at the gig the night before, so naturally he couldn't put her in the shell)


The Catholic Church is historically reluctant to accept sightings of the Virgin Mary as real without some proof that extraordinary or even miraculous events result from its appearance.

I would say getting $28,000 for a 10 year old grilled cheese sandwich is pretty darned miraculous.

Although if they were selling ten year old grilled cheese sandwiches at the concessions stands at Yankee Stadium, that price would seem somewhat reasonable. Relatively speaking, of course.

This miraculous grilled cheese thing inspired the people at a local radio station. Each year, they post their favorite recipes for the holidays. Scroll down on this link

Messed that up.

Take Two.

Scroll down on this link for Kevin's recipies.

Where I come from we call it hive ball, Peejay.

All the kids that aren't hugging each other, picking flowers or their noses, or hanging by the snack cooler crowd around the ball and follow it up and down the field like a swarm of wasps around an apoplectic gardener.

Of course shouts of "Kick IT@!" emanate from the sidelines.

slyeyes -- excellent point!

I'm going to try that recipe for the Cinnamon toast. It sounds just the thing for an early Christmas Breakfast for the kids and grands. Thank you.
It's good to know that we have finally found away to "come back," so to speak, after we leave this planet.
I will have to remember to add the recipe to my will so that my family will be able to "bring me back," at their own discretion, however.
I sincerely hope, that after they bring me out of the oven, they won't leave the dog in the kitchen or too close to the table.
I'm allergic to "fleas."
Thank you again for the lovely recipes! May you have a wonderful holiday (whatever you are celebrating)


Be sure and wash your face each morning the first thing when you get up. Then apply the beauty masque. Leave on 12 hours. Now, isn't that better?

Doug, I would never put anything on my face, but if that's what you like, then that's what you like!

Is that what you like, Doug?

OK you recalcitrants, with only 5 weeks to go, I have managed to collect a whole 38 signatures for the Dave Barry Farewell Card - and that includes two from me.

So for all you lurkers and shy types (and with apologies to those of you that have already done the right thing), now you have recovered from the festivities, and before you get distracted by more posts from Dave and Judy tomorrow go here to find out how to add your bit.

PeeJay: I finally get what your posts were all about - I don't get to read Dave's column until Monday morning here. I had originally thought you had just gotten your enter-key stuck or something.

As the father of two aspiring soccer stars I can attest to what Dave was saying in his column, I can also provide a further modicum of advice to him in the coming months: ask for three more layers of cold-weather gear for Christmas.

Soccer fields are the coldest, windyest, wettest places on earth while soccer matches are being played, and attempts to push the kids out of the car with a cheery "OK, I'll pick you up here in an hour" is frowned on by the other parents for some reason.

This is a photo of one of the mums taken at a soccer match - what is not so obvious, given the crapcam source for the image, is that she has her back to a 30-knot south-wester which is driving sleet almost horizontally to the ground - which is why she has the blue water-proof hiking mat wrapped around her back. Children's sports: you have to laugh because crying doesn't help.

Loads spammer into trap.

Winds it Waaaaay back. Pulls cord.



Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam!

KaChack! Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. KaChuck!

Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam!

I believe in the Southern Republican approach to dealing with spammers.

I hate spammers who spam, use to have lots of them on my blog, but me and my big brother took care of them with a new way of using MT Blacklist!

I hope the sandwich made it there in one piece!

Did Jim get hungry?

The Holy Quest
Well, at least he's riding a Cadillac instead of using coconuts or being gripped by two migratory swallows ...

To the spammer - I don't LIKE spam!
fahrts in their general direction

Hey Dave, if you are using MT Blacklist to block spam, I can show you a new way of using it which would make it better protect your blog from spam.

Send me an email!

I still think it looks like Katherine Hepburn.


Hmmm...Jim DeFede driving the Virgin Mary sandwich from Miami to Vegas seems eerily similar to "Driving Mr. Albert," Michael Paterniti's book about driving-cross country with Albert Einstein's brain.

Perhaps the writer-on-road-trip-with-symbolic-object is an emerging trend? Maybe even a new genre?

Ideas for future road trips in this vein might include:

-Driving from Washington, D.C. to the Crystal Catherdral with William Bennet's moral compass

-Driving from New York to San Francisco without crossing any red states

-Driving damn near anywhere with Andrei Coorescu

A number of years ago, an undertaker died at his summer cottage on Bois Blanc Island which is located across the lake from Sheboygan,WI. His wife carried him to the car and placed him in the passenger seat. Then she drove him home to Detroit, Michigan,(of course, crossing over the lake on a ferry) She was well aware about the cost of calling for an ambulance, so she pretended that he was asleep. (or at least that is what she told the ferry boatman)

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