FAMILY VALUES???

If you say so.

(Thanks to Debbie Henriksen)

Comments

[Higgy]

I do say so....

And I'm scratching Korea off my vacation list now...

EWWWWW...

[LabSpecimen]

Dear Korea,

Ew.

Sincerly,
LabSpecimen

[Somewhere North]

It is illegal to sell it to a third party?? Who would buy a used umbilical cord? (note - they are probably all used) There is a market to buy someone's umbilical cord in Korea?

[Somewhere North]

That is even more disturbing than pickling kittens....

[Guy in trench coat]

Psst! Buddy! Wanna buy an umbilical cord?

[toadlikker]

Some people known when to cut the cord...
and some prefer to have it gold-plated...
go figure ~

[Somewhere North]

And where exactly do you display your child's golden umbilical cord? Next to the potted plants in the living room?

Someone call Trading Spaces for designer input right away.

[Somewhere North]

My apologies to those who haven't had lunch yet, but the question has to be asked: What about the afterbirth? Do they plate that in gold too?

[Lairbo]

Next up:
Chromed foreskin refrigerator magnets.

[punky brewster]

You can wear it as a necklace!

[kibby F5]

Yea, THANKS DEBBIE! I was just having dinner ....

[slyeyes]

Mr. Fish, BrianB, Just...PLEASE tell me y'all are going to give this a pass!!

[kibby F5]

... sausages.

[Somewhere North]

Want to get that special someone a unique gift this holiday season? Go for the gold plated umbilical cord! For that I-remember-how-messy-childbirth-was feeling! Grandmothers are a sure recipient for this although make sure you do not charge them for this. That would be illegal.

[Higgy]

Tina - you know, if they stop outlawing the sales of these things, we might be able to strike up a deal with you...

EWWWW EWWW and triple EWWWW

[Somewhere North]

We are completely ignoring the hair calligraphy brushes side to this! Seems Korea has a bit of a voodoo things going on.

[Somewhere North]

Tina;

Yes, umbilical cord smuggling is wrong. But chromed foreskin refrigerator magnets are fine for smuggling purposes. How you will get the foreskins off their current owners is a bit of a challenge, but I'm sure with a little imagination it can be handled. (hee hee)

*snip snip*

[lurker]

I'd hang mine from my car's rearview mirrior. It's a perfect complement to the graduation tassel, garter belt, pot leaf air freshener...

[LabSpecimen]

Somewhere North: Ouch.

That is all.

[Somewhere North]

Oh LS, I think it is more like OH MY GOD!! OW OW OW OW OWW...

Somehow "ouch" wouldn't cover it.

I like the handling part though...

[MOTW]

"The company got the idea from mothers just storing umbilical cords and navels in an album or what-not," said Suk Tae-jin of Agamo.

Shift scene to a Korean home, the hostess giving a tour of her humble home.
"... and this is Suk's navel in a what-not ..."

For the personal gift of choice
Koreans have found a new voice
In resin or goldplated
Keepsakes are being created
Ornaments, brooches, paperweights
Antennae balls, mobiles, or souvenir plates
Some think it creative to keep the cord
I rather think that someone was bored.

[MeganBNL]

Why, yes...Black Market Umbilical Cords would bagnfarb.

[LabSpecimen]

. o O (I didn't know antennae had balls)

SN: You know that squirm all guys do when they see another guy get kicked in the groin? I'm doing that now, thanks to you!

[MzVette]

OMG Tina.. that would give me nightmares!! I hope your friend saught some good therapy!

[MOTW]

I wish Polly was here to tell us some tales ... (punintended)

[tech writer]

Long time blurker, first time caller...

Just had to mention that my mom tried to keep my brother's umbilical cord so she could give it to him on his wedding day as a symbolic cutting of the cord. Only she lost it when we moved.

Not that that kept us from mocking her mercilessly when we found out. And yes....eww.

[MzVette]

ooops, sorry Tina.. not friend.. did YOU get therapy??!!

[Targetgirl]

Thanks Tina.

*shudder*

Gah.

*shudder* *shudder*

I need some Cher or Barry Manilow or something to cleanse my brain of this horrible thing, now.

*hears Creed on the radio*

Oh, that'll do just fine. Whew.

[brat]

You do realize that the best source for foreskins would be Israel?

Just saying........

[MOTW]

tech writer - try giving her a shitake mushroom for a substitute.

[brat]

MOTW - a what mushroom...

Oh yeah, now I remember. Never mind.

[tech writer]

MOTW...I would, but she's told us we can never mention the topic again. After several years of bad navel jokes at her expense, she's become a bit sensitive.

I'm afraid I'd get cut out of the will and my brother would inherit the lava lamp.

[MOTW]

That's darned funny, tech writer.
In my family, we have the Daughter In Favor and the Daughter NOT In Favor. Mother cannot have a relationship with both of us at the same time, one or the other of us pisses her off.

[MOTW]

Oh! I had some ideas (not necessarily a good thing):
When your brother turns 21, give him a cake with 21 shitake mushrooms on it.
At the wedding, add a mushroom to his boutonnière.

I'd better stop there ...

[insomniac]

millions of years from now when the giant squid rule the earth, they will discover the gold-plated umbilical cords, split them open, and clone Koreans from the stem cells found therein.
Who'll be laughing then ?
Tina- assuming your ER patient was doing his provisional circumcision (agnfarb)for a woman, he could write ," will you take me as I am, my goil/ Or should I visit my neighborhood moyel ?"

[Boo Augustus]

Oh well. Just one more thing with which Christobol can have unnatural, disturbing sex.

[kat]

Don't anyone tell President Bush about the unbillical cords or he will want to invade Korea for delving into stem-cell research.

[Just]

Tech Writer - you wouldn't happen to have written any review on Amazon lately, would ya?

*innocent look*

Just curious....

[Mike Weasel]

Is this going in the Gift Guide?

[Debbie]

Faithful blog lurker here - and I'm kinda psyched that the first item I've ever tried submitting got blogged by Judi!

Thanks, Judi!

[Debbie]

Thanks, Tina.

I know Jeff (and countless others) have been frustrated by Claire Martin's thunder-stealing for some time.

But Jeff has posted some hilarious messages here, in the blog comments, where it REALLY counts (you too, Tina.) And Jeff DID get a special birthday mention recently, didn't he? That's gotta make up for a lot of neglect.

[Debbie]

Tina: You'd be frightened if you knew the full extent. I'm something of a lurking sociopath. I've been in stealth mode for months.

I'm really not antisocial. It's just this day-job thing. But, hey, I' guess I'm sucked into the vortex now...

[Eleanor]

Hi Debbie and welcome - I was a newby until you came along - I don't know how that makes me feel, but.....
Anyway, if you're (not your) a sociopath, you'll fit right in - we have every conceivable type of mental illness represented -

*nurse comes thru lounge, time for milk and cookies, all loonies*

[kibby F5]

And another one's fallen into our sinister trap!

Welcome Debbie!

[Just]

*perks @ Cookies*

mmmm.....

[kibby F5]

P.S. Tina sent me.

;-)

[Somewhere North]

Tina - very disturbing. Also very hilarious. The closest I had was when I was approached by a nice man in the park asking for directions... asking for directions with his... ahem.. member.. in his hand. Let's just say that was the smallest shitake mushroom and he should not have been proud to be waving it around.

For the curious.. yes, I gave him his directions.

[Somewhere North]

And the workday ends successfully. I'm feeling a little peckish (hee hee!)... think I'll cook up some mushrooms at home.

Nite all.

[the rick]

preserving umbilical cords is becoming more and more common due to scientific discoveries that many childhood diseases/illnesses can be treated using material from the cord. kind of like having your own stem-cells, just not exactly.

however, it remains very expensive and most insurance companies dont cover it.

if any one of you had a pregnant wife, you'd know this.

[Lairbo]

SomewhereNorth
I just hope you directions to the Mushroom Man included the phrase "You can't get there from here."

[Eleanor]

leave it to someone to always find the serious!
yes, there are several here with pregnant wives and if they didn't know this Ii'm sure they'll be happy to find out -

*decides to ignore the sarcasm*

[Deontologist]

Hi Debbie and Tech Writer...two blurkers with one flush!

I wonder if bloglits invent these stories, post them on credible looking links and then turn them in to Judi. I bet that would explain why the annoyance that Claire Martin claims to have "discovered" them first.

Oh well. If it flushes fine blurkers, so be it.

[Poop Dogg]

Preserving umbilical chords is also a Japanese custom, where it was believed that it could cure serious illnesses if you boiled your own and drank the broth. The custom apparently has Chinese origins, like so much of what makes the two people what they are.

[alanboss]

When the sale of umbilical cords is outlawed, only outlaws will have umbilical cords.

[kat]

That's what connects them to organized crime,
Alanboss!

[alanboss]

** runs screaming from the room**
** returns**

Well, done kat!

[alanboss]

BTW kat, I left you a message on the French thread, about 24 hours late, but with the blog clock all wrong, who will really know?

[tech writer]

Thanks for the welcome...I feel flushed. :)

It's kind of a relief not to be a stalker, er um "blurker", anymore.

[MOTW]

Shriveled Shitake wbagnfa geriatric rb

Welcome, tech writer and Debbie!

[Debbie]

Why have all of Tina's comments been pulled from this thread?

Is she being punished? Seems rather harsh...

[Garth Webb]

The story is no longer linked?