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November 01, 2004

COINCIDENCE? WE THINK NOT

First this, then this.

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Farewell Spit? What kind of people say goodbye by spitting?

Oh, and this post might be first but I doubt it since I'm taking the extra time to write this whole diatribe out. If it's not First! then it's probably Not First!

Farewell Spit is just down the road from the village of Hello Loogie.

...Raise one for fully mature females.....here's squid in yer eye!

What's so bad about squid?

I'm in 5th place!

I think I'm gona cry! I'm so happy!

The links don't work for me! My computer is poop!

I seems that Dave's barber is doing CHER's eyebrows.

Welcome back, MKJ!
* wipes Farewell Spit from monitor *

Question: If we all collectively hock a large loogie and spit at the same time on-stage, will Cher finally leave?

Did she say this is where the farewells would end?
Be still my heart, there is a God after all.

Dave, you're gone for 3 days and this is the best you can do? Another stupid Cher concert? Where isn't Cher performing? Now if the giant squid was released on stage and ate Cher, then you'd have a story!

Oh, and welcome back.

MOTW: I don't know, but the fact that that suggestion was made by a dignified lady such as yourself just made my day.

Oh, and Dave, I hate to bring it up, but check the clock. Daylight Savings Time is over, dude.

HOOOOOOCCCKK!

PTHOOEY!

Aww, shucks, mudstuffin. You say the nicest things!

Of course, I'm just dying to hear you say something about fahrting in Cher's general direction ...

what could both Cher and the giant squid say in New Zealand ?

"So long, suckers !"

what a waste of good calimari!!

and..."The age-defying 58 year-old has been confirmed to say her first hello to this country as part of her global Farewell Tour..."

You say goodbye, i say hello, hello hello.... sorry for abusing a beatles tune, but i guess cher wont be able to go there as a private citizen after her 'retirement'

knock, knock
Stage Manager - Hey, Cher. I got something here from your Bloglit Fan Club.
Cher - My what? Who?
Stage Manager - The card says Bloglit Fan Club.
Cher - Oh, how wonderful. You know, I'm thinking seriously about adding a couple more years to my Farewell Tour. Every time I hear about a new fan club forming, it just makes me sad to think of letting them down. Well, what's in this silver bucket?
Stage Manager - Don't know. I just make deliveries, ma'am.
Cher - lifts lid and peers into cavernous bucket UGH! It's a load of loogie. reads attached card
"Thanks for decades of music, but it's time for the curtain to permanently come down ... Squiggly, the Massive and Mature Farewell Spit Squid, Spokesquid of the Bloglit Fan Club"
My gosh! It's The Farewell Spit Bucket!

For those of us in good ol' Merica that have trouble visualizing squid-related metric units:

12 metres = 0.00745 miles
300 kilograms = 0.330 tons
18 months = 10.5 dog years
Cher age 58 = 982 squid years
Cher tour = 1,236,958 gallons
Cher-exposed flesh (since 1963) = 234,982 acres

Hope this helps the scientifically impaired.

(just don't mention the clock to judi or she will go berserk)

Yes, welcome back, MKJ!

As fo the topic, let me point out that a fully mature female without all her tentacles will not only weigh less, but tour twice as long.

I say we all chip in, rent a trawler and zig-zag it across the aging diva's tour route and hope for the best.

Am I actually the first one to say that Farewell Spit wbagnfarb?

"My Downunder shows will be very emotional because that is where it will end," she said.

YEEEECK.

But then again, I suppose all of my "Downunder" shows are very emotional too as they are always near an "end"

hmmm....

"Moonstruck" will never end! We now own the DVD and know many of Cher's fans that play their DVD every month in her honor. Their children and grandchildren are now becoming faithful fans, also. Long live Cher!!! (ha,ha) You all are just jealous because she has to have a semi-18 wheeler to carry all of her money to the bank.

And Jeff, I mean it when I say that,

that is no laughing matter.

Yeah, but that is old, wrinkled, washed up, ready for the catapult type matter, but certainly not laughing.

I suppose you gotta say "hello" before you can say "farewell". But there's gotta be a bazillion places that Cher hasn't said "hello" in yet. So does that mean the Farewell Tour won't be over until...

Eeeeeeeeeewwwww!

No, no, no, no, no, no! There's gotta be something wrong with that logic...

It ain't over until the silicone-constructed lady sings...

I want to know why there was no picture of the giant squid but a picture of Cher in the articles. I frankly find the squid much more interesting.

Oh... how about the new group... "Cher and the Giant Missing Tentacles" I would buy that CD...

I know I speak for Cher fans and detractors everywhere when I say she would be much better off if she would lose half of her testicles.

I've never seen Cher and the giant squid (or any size squid for that matter) in the same photo. Coincidence? I think not.

Aargh! It was the perfect plan! By the time Cher arrived in New Zealand, my giant squid monster would have been unstoppable! I had meticulously trained it by showing it a Cher doll and playing her music while bashing it with silicone-scented garden tools. It was primed to attack on sight!

*goes back to designing sharks with frikking lasers*

Acck! Here I was thinking I was safe down here in Australia while Cher circled endlessly around the US. But now the scourge will be within spitting distance of me!

*eyes start to glaze over as the siren song of a Cher farewell performance starts to invade brain*

Noooooooo!

*flees building in search of a generator and a place to hunker down*

Kat: as a Kiwi, do you want to come stay at my place until its all over (and I mean that in the worst armageddon sort of way)? If she ends up coming to Australia, we can always swim back back to whatever's left of New Zealand and live in a cave or something.

Key quote (referring to the Cher tour):
"It's a fully mature female. It's absolutely massive."

I can just see Mr. and Mrs. Squid at home: "Honey, do you think this tentacle makes me look fat?"

Ten years from now, I expect to see this advertised everywhere:

The Cher Farewell Tour "Never Can Say Goodbye" box set. Highlights from an entire glorious decade (so far) of farewell tour shows, all on 6 DVDs!

Bonus material:
* "CD-ROM game -- construct your own 3D Cher! It's a race against time as you nip, tuck and shape silicone while fending off the menacing Sags and Wrinkles!"
* Footage of Cher's near-death experience with a giant squid while on tour in New Zealand! Relive the harrowing moments as the huge creature captures her, spitting her out seconds later in its apparent distaste of collagen!
* Fun Cher trivia! (How many times has Cher suffered from frostbite while wearing outfits that exposed her naked butt? Find the answer! Challenge your friends!)
* Exclusive rare "Alfie" music video! The lost classic!
* $50-off coupon for your first botox injection at Dr. Arnold Klein's office. You too can have Cher's non-expressive forehead and alien stare!

Pick up your copy today!

Good...googly...moogly.

This could be the "Why be a man when you can be a success" MOAT...wordy, yes. But damn funny!

Hi Joshkr,
Kibbying Is a lot faster here, I hope everyone else follows us here.

Is this it *looks like it has definate possiblities*

Hi Tina,
Glad you found us.

*got done taking the mandatory anti-kickback training* Gee, I'm not supposed to accept a trip to Vegas from my supplier. Who'd-a-f'ing-thunk-it?

Tina...I wanna be laid-off, too!!!

I'll always be able to find you steven...

*ahem* have you ever been watching the rodeo on ESPN and thougt to your self..."Daaaaamn, where to they put thier packages in those jeans? Cause I mean those little wranglers they wear are leave NOTHING to my vivid and lurid immagination...

Dear sweet lord, I'm watching Rodeo... they are doing an event called
"down roping" which is sadly not what I was hoping it woudl be...

Did I mention the leather chaps?

The ultimate "laid-off" website: http://www.oddtodd.com/

Tina...different horses can either be nice or hurt your package. Coming from the midwest, I found that a male horse runs in such a way as to not hurt, while a female crushes things that I'd rather not have crushed.

They may be wearing protective gear that, ummm, hides things.

Best website ever!!!!

Um I can say with a certin level of authority that there are no protective devices curretly in use among the riders featured today... no really I think one winked at me... *intrugued and frightened at same time*

Tina...that cowboy also asked for your number and address. Hope you don't mind I gave it to him. He's going to your place to practice his "down roping"

Firefox is what I am currently using, I put it on my roomies computer as it was suggested by a dear geek friend of mine... who know waaaay more about such things then a simple technotard such as I.

Steven...totally love them. I'm a 50/50 user of Mozilla and IE. And the new Moz is so damn fast.

Thanks Joshkr, as you know I do believe that practice makes perfect!

The bull riding is up next *swoons*

Ahhh, memeories... nothing quite like 'em....


(I am soooo sick in the head aren't I?)

Tina and Joshkr,
I know that y'all are on the west coast, but I'm on the east, so it's way past my bed time. Don't do anything that Iwouldn't do(that leaves u wide open!)
Good nite and sweet dreams!

Night Steven! Sweet dreams of roping Tina ;)

Night Steven... Pay not attention to the camera in your ceiling, it's for you safty....I promise...

I'll have dreams of roping Tina or Tina roping me, both sound really good!

Tina,
Did I ever tell you that I sleep in the nude?

Steven, Is there any other way to sleep? *is confused*

Of course I'm probably older than your parents , so that might be more gross than a turn-on!

Going to go and take a bath... a nice steamy hot bubbly bath.... hummmmmmmmm... be back later if anyone is arround....

Nighty nite, don't let the bedbugs bite!

*sigh* all alone again

*looking up phone sex numbers*

Joshkr,
I didn't order one of the Moat calenders ahead of time, but if you have an extra one one, I would love to have it. If there is an extra one, let me know and I'll send you some money to cover the cost.

Steven...no worries, send me your address and I'll get them to you. My name links to my normal email.

I'm asking for $5-10 contributions to help cover costs of production and shipping. Just go to paypal and send it to joshkr@nwlink.com or email me for a physical address. If by some chance people send more that I actually spend, any overflow is going to Dave's favorite charity, America SCORES. (that was Slyeyes' idea...she's a genius). But contributions are not required. You send me an address, you get the calendars.

Okay it is off to bed for me, I will most likly not be able to get back on a computer till Sunday afternoon so don't fret or worry, as I am fine, just sadly without technological support... Hope you all have wonderful weekends and I will catch back up on sunday.

I guess this could be the Late November Blog, if you're a Melissa Etheridge fan...

Ok, time for sleep....

I know I ask this every time we change MOATs, but could somebody please email me with the url of our new MOAT? Thanks.

And Welcome Back Formerly Banned Bloglits! :)

btw, I'll be in the NYC area for a day or two next week, so if you want to get together for lunch and you live there, shoot me an email.

Last but not least: Don't Dis the Wurm. He's my RL bud. Blogchik will get very ticked if you dis the Wurm.

Given the Blog move happened just before I posted the message in the old moat, for Tina, Steve and Joshkr's benefit: note that I popped up some photos in the y-MOAT of the decorations, and one movie clip of the singing dog decoration in the files area. More to come my tomorrow, that is your tonight.

*Wearily restocks beer fridge ready for breakfast*

*kills lights for the five minutes or so there is before all the US MOATies arrive and start banging pots again*

*Climbs wearily into hammock, noticing there is significantly more room, given Peri is converless...conviless...getting over being sick, and Eleanor seems to have stood me up as well*

*snaps BBQ tongs reflectivly, realises even THAT trick was pathetic*

*puts tongs aside*

*sigh*

*takes solumn oath to act his age from now on*

*uncrosses fingers carefully*

Night blurkers!

*snaps light back on*

Josh, of course this moat could just be called the "Soma MOAT"

*snaps light off again*

wys- saw your office Christmas decoration pix. Excellent.

However, I noticed you don't have much Christmas schlock around your desk. No lights there? Tsk, tsk. Better get cracking, man!

*patented Blogchik wink*

*snaps light back on again*

Fair call BC, but by way of some small defence, all the stuff you see spread out everywhere else is normally jammed in my cube with me.

And not visible out of shot to the left along the cube partition is the second string of fairy lights that it turns out I didn't need, and a rope light christmas tree.

Also, if you click on the photo twice (to get the largest enlargement, and look at the top left of centre, you can see the bottom of the USB christmas tree with its wire dangling down.

But you are right. I need another 80 foot of bud lights in there to really make an effect.

*makes note on shopping list for tomorrow*

*snaps light off again*

*snaps light back on*

I just realised that when I said "bud lights" you may have thought "beer".

Sorry, it was a reference to a type of small Christmas tree light. In Australia, something with the alcoholic content of a bud "light" is not even considered to be "beer". It could perhaps be passed off as flavoured spring water, or passed out to children at a birthday party, but would never be consumed by an adult, except perhaps for the designated driver.

*snaps light off*

*snaps light back on again*

Of couse I mean that in only the best possible way. Its not like your beer is bad or anything. Its just not useful for the purpose for which it is normally purchased.

*snaps light switch right off this time*

Bugger! Have to wait for daylight now...

*swooshes in, crashes into barbie*

Hey, what happened?! *lights torch*

This doesn't look like the MOAT! They tricked me, those...those...darn people *too early to curse properly*

'night wys!

wysiwyg- Thanks for posting the office decoration pics. Wow, your coworkers are so much more more fun than mine! The "battlestar ball" looks like an underwater mine to me...you're not trying to blow up low-flying reindeer, are you? *sad face*

And wow, the new MOAT loads so much faster, even in Firefox. The next step will be to see if the new MOAT crashes the clunky old Macs on campus like the old one did...

wysiwyg- Thanks for posting the office decoration pics. Wow, your coworkers are so much more more fun than mine! The "battlestar ball" looks like an underwater mine to me...you're not trying to blow up low-flying reindeer, are you? *sad face*

Tina- my apologies if I was too familiar last night, I'm still new here, and even newer to people who were banned by the anti-spam demons.

Was looking forward to "the party" last night and then realized how much grading I had to do and departed suddenly after a near-panic attack. Xanax, thou are my strength in times of trial and tribulation.

And wow, the new MOAT loads so much faster, even in Firefox. The next step will be to see if the new MOAT crashes the clunky old Macs on campus like the old one did...

|t|w|i|t|c|h|

Let there be light! *strategically places pictures of wysiwyg's workplace around MOAT*

Ah, now it's really Christmas-ess-y-like.

/\/\/\/\/\/\
0-0-0-0-0-0-0
\/\/\/\/\/\/

*wonders if those look like X-Mas lights*

*swooshes out to find Mistletoe from other MOAT, wonders how elle will repond to MOAT by underling*

*not even close*

and that should be 'moved' MOAT (just forget the whole thing, really)

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
0-0-0-0--E
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

*wanders into new place*
Not bad. Roomy.
(((((Tina)))))
G'morning everyone.
*sets out coffee and pastries*

*comes in whistling On the road again*

Yeah, loads much quicker. I'm down with the move, and Great idea with sticking to the last thread of the Month Joshkr, I agree that works best. (IMHO)

Is it Moatspit? or SPAMoat? or damn. That's all I can come up with right now. Seriously need some sleep. Ah well Maybe next year.

COFFEE?!?!!?!

oh, thanks Wolfie. And my, your Pasties sure look particularly perky this morning. Extra spoonful of sugar?

Good morning everyone from sunny so.CA - where it's supposed to get up to 80F today - hooray!
Thanks to Joskr for leaving a trail of breadcrumbs for me to follow to the new MOAT instead of me having to beg on the Y site for new address!

I snuck (sneaked?) out of the party early last night and when I checked in this a.m. I noticed that no one noticed that I had left, but since wysiwyg sent me some self-esteem after I gave mine to Tina, I didn't feel bad -
but I almost didn't come over here at all because I was so mesmerized by Marvin's Poke the Bunny - that was fabulous and when Bunny bit my finger I screeched - and now I'm wide awake!!!! Thanks Marvin...

*helps self to wolfie's pastries and settles in to see what the morning will bring*

p.s. wurm, I'm sorry I said I was ignoring you, I'm just very shy around strangers, but I did love the wrum punch you brought - so can we be friends?????

You're welcome Mr.Fishair. *kotc* A belated congrats.. the lil fish is adorable.

One lump or two? Sugar I mean. Yeah.. that's it. sugar. In your coffee?
*adjusts pasties .. erm.. pastries* Bearclaw anyone?

*stumbles in*

I should have stayed up a little longer last night..I would have found out about the new MOAT then. I got the one post in after I got home, on the previous one, but after I posted it the page never fully loaded. Something about document contained no data...so I couldn't even see if my post posted.

Wysisyg-I love the office decorations. I have done pretty much nothing here at work. Made a nice garland with live greenery in the front window and that's about it. I may go out today and work on the wreath, it looks a little sad.

Metal monster Dimebag Darrell also a ‘sweetheart' ››
"Dimebag" Darrell Abbott presented a terrifying persona on stage, working his young fans into a frenzy as he cajoled ear-splitting heavy-metal riffs from his guitar. But off-stage,...

This is the first item in the New Zealand link above and he's the one who was shot a killed 2 days ago by an enraged fan!!!!
Bizarre!

*notices that pasties - um pastries - are all gone and brings in 2 boxes of Cherry Pop-Tarts*

I must cast my vote for wysiwyg's cube-farm. The worms up the hall appear to be going for a 'Blue' Christmas theme. It's not really all that joyous. Though color alone does not a winning combo make, you gotta admit it's a big part of it.

I missed the party! *pouting* (So why do I feel hungover?)

Wysiwyg? *Whispering so as not to wake him* I didn't mean to ignore you last night. Because of my slow posting, I didn't see you "talk" to me. Sorry 'bout that.

*looks around* Hard to get a feel for this place. It's not a boat, nor a cave, nor a cabaret of questional repute, nor a movie theater... What IS this place, anyway?

Wrum... um, I mean Wurm, anybody who brings wrum is just fine by me. No, I mean by me. *Pats sofa next to her suggestively*
*remembers that she doesn't even remember what it is that she is suggesting.*

Never mind. :)

OH, and Tina

Imagine Very Big HUG

Yup, we ain't going no where. We'll all be right here for ya.

D'Art! Nice to see ya find your way back. Thought maybe the Hurries had taken you out to sea for good.

Wolfie, you can put one lump in my cup on the table and the other lump in my cup right here.

*points to open mouth*

What?

I need sugar to keep me UP and running. ;)

Blogchik- I missed it, who was bashing Wurmeister? I must've fallen asleep in my beer again. Speaking of, Wurm could you post that link to the baby rearing again? (I swear I looked but can't seem to find it.) If it was indeed you that posted it originally. Thanks WrumWurm!

Wysiwyg, the decorations are... well... they're...hmm. They are certainly festive, aren't they? They seem a bit understated though. *cough*

I saw a singing, dancing 5 foot tall santa for just $39 yesterday, but I think shipping costs would put it securely out-of-budget.

How do you guys get any work done in December?

I would think that decorating like that would be work.


Oh, you meant actual WORK type work. The kind you get paid for if you're lucky.

I wondered how they got any done myself.

Am I in the right place?

Is my invisible shield up?

Can you hear me now?

*second time I've posted this, first one disappeared*
*now is really worried*
*tries again*

Hmmm? Did anybody hear anything?

Hey, by the way, where's Eleanor, haven't seen her in a while.
.
.
.
.
.


*wink*

We see you loud and clear, Eleanor...

Must be the MOATies are taking Friday off...

Not a whole lot of traffic on the new MOAT.

Ok - let's have a naming contest for our new home? SpitMoat? Ew. SpamMoat? That's like letting them win (by acknowledging them.) Open to suggestions, people.

And Tina - have a great weekend - recharge the batteries, destroy some things and start the week out anew with figuring out what it is you'd like to do.

As someone once said, "Find a job you love and you'll never work again a day in your life."

Oh, c'mon, Eleanor, I was just teasing; come back and play!

Whew!!!
*puts away bottle of Xanax*

Speaking of "can you hear me now" Punky wrote a great story on the MB - check it out!

*passes out cherry Pop-Tarts to neo and Higgy in gratitude*

locoMOATion?
comMOATion?
*offers Eleanor a chocolate croissant*

Hmmm...there is a canned meat product similar to spam...which I actually prefer, not liking spam in any form. The product I am refering to is Treet, made by Armour Star. The MOATreet? Some variation?
Just tossing an idea out.

Actually I'm not sure where I was going with that. I had the idea, then the phone rang...and you know how easily I can be distracted...

The names of the MOATS have traditionally contained the MOAT sound or a rhyme.

Help me brainstorm:
wrote float tote mote scrote(oops)note antidote throat devote groat quote stoat

*realizes she should just go to rhyme zone but is too lazy*

*decides to let somebody else worry about the name*

*fixes a big batch of TGIF MOATaritas.*

neo: I saw a woman setting up one of those giant singing Santas on her porch yesterday. It's scary out there. Eleanor would feel (as I do) very outnumbered here -- menorahs are few & far between in Bay Ridge.

Hey ya'll. wysiwyg had suggested

Soma MOAT (Some MOAT?)

and I'd thought of

Spittin CoMAOTra (Spitting Cobra?)

just a couple more ideas.

I just checked out the photos of Brian B's baby (soooooo cute) and wysiwyg's Xmas decorations!

wysisyg: does this plethora of decorations mean you won't have to spend any money next year? I hope so - for Honey's sake!

Jeff - public Menorah's are few and far between everywhere - a place where I used to work went overboard on Xmas decorations (see wysisyg) and had never had a Jew work there until me - so out of respect(that's what they called it) for me they bought an electric Menorah and put it on a counter in the reception area that they covered with green and red foil wrapping paper!! Need I say more?!?!

Thanks for the bread crumbs! Hmmmm, we just keep finding nice digs. No "coincidences" here, right (badabaing).

I'll be back (Imagine a very large dude in scrummy clothes standing in front of a policeman at a station desk).

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