CHAT ALERT
I'll be doing a chat at 1 p.m. (Eastern) today for the Washington Post. The bad news is, you have to register. The good news is, if you don't bother, you won't miss anything important.
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I'll be doing a chat at 1 p.m. (Eastern) today for the Washington Post. The bad news is, you have to register. The good news is, if you don't bother, you won't miss anything important.
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I'll be there, with my penis tie on.
Posted by: Federal Duck | November 23, 2004 at 06:16 AM
Almost FIRST two days in a row!
Posted by: Trystan Shout | November 23, 2004 at 06:17 AM
And you scheduled it on my lunch break, so I won't even technically be slacking. Thanks Dave!
Posted by: Federal Duck | November 23, 2004 at 06:18 AM
bummer! got a meeting! sheesh. always have to do some ole stupid work around here . . .
Posted by: queensbee | November 23, 2004 at 06:26 AM
1 PM Eastern?? What does that translate to in blog time?
Posted by: neophyte | November 23, 2004 at 06:28 AM
Blog time hmmmm .. start with your time zone..carry the hemisphere.. divide by the number of comments centigrade.. makes it about 2 pm blog time doesnt it?
ooo.. i can do higher math. cool
*wonders if net filter will let her in on work time*
Posted by: justsayin | November 23, 2004 at 06:32 AM
what do you mean, you guys? Is the blog clock wrong or some...oh, I see.
Posted by: Slartibartfast Mark II | November 23, 2004 at 06:36 AM
That would be 10a.m. CA time - nobody ever cares about wht time it is on the west coast - but Ill be there -
Does anybody really care what time it is - earworm!
Hey gang, maybe we can get the inside scoop on Claire Martin!
Posted by: Eleanor | November 23, 2004 at 06:41 AM
Neo....DO NOT start another blog clock earwig.
Please!
Posted by: brat | November 23, 2004 at 07:05 AM
Fed: yeah, but how come women live so much longer? Wine coolers? Fingernail polish? Multiple ointments?
Posted by: mudstuffin | November 23, 2004 at 07:14 AM
mmmm... ointment....
*pit*
Posted by: Leetie | November 23, 2004 at 07:16 AM
Eleanor,
That's EXACTLY why I am going...I need to know about this Claire Martin!
Posted by: julietine | November 23, 2004 at 07:26 AM
Kerry tried it. He got Arbonnized! (told you so)
But really, a good beer is the old timey remedy for "piddleing" without pressure." Beer helps the flo. (just like an old timey toliet)
Posted by: kat | November 23, 2004 at 07:27 AM
Duck: This reminds me that I saw a poster some weeks ago here in Berlin (Germany) featuring a band called "Sex Gang Children".
Guess we can remove this from the wbagnfarb list.
Kasi
Posted by: Kasi | November 23, 2004 at 07:42 AM
"German Hermann Doernemann"? Reminds me of that chef on the muppets....bork borkey bork
Posted by: klynn | November 23, 2004 at 07:44 AM
So Dave, you afraid of French cats now?
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves (n' stuff) | November 23, 2004 at 07:46 AM
FedDuck - re Headline - seems to be a better way to reproduce with be by shagging, not snogging, IMHO -
Posted by: Eleanor | November 23, 2004 at 08:01 AM
Dave, I will give you $1 (canadian) if you sing this song online. Wait, will you have audio for this "Chat" or just typing? Oh well, if you say you sang it, the dollar is yours.
Blog Stranger
Well we all have a name
That we use when we’re together
It’s the way we choose to
Show ourselves
Whenever we log on
Some are sexy some are real
Some conjure whips made of leather
They're the handles of the stranger
And we love to try them on
Well we all post for fun
But we disregard the danger
Here we share so many secrets
Offline we might never tell
Why were you so surprised
That you’ve fallen for the stranger
Did you ever think the stranger
May have fallen for yourself?
Don't be afraid to post again
Try a new you out
Every now and then
Worst case you’ll become
Someone else
Just remember how
To re-become yourself
Here we like to believe
We can stay online forever
And we’ll post our witty comments
Hopin’ no one catches wise
That we come here for a reason
Need no clues to see the answer
We just like to be a stranger
Hiding right before your eyes
Well we all play for fun
But we disregard the danger
Here we share so many secrets
Offline we might never tell
Why were you so surprised
That you’ve fallen for the stranger
Did you ever think the stranger
May have fallen for yourself?
Don't be afraid to post again
Try a new you out
Every now and then
Maybe once you’ve become
Someone else
When you return to ‘now’
You can redefine yourself
We may never understand
How our stranger is inspired
But it’s almost always funny
And it’s almost never wrong
So let’s file deadline extensions
And see what the blog inspires
Now give in to your desires
Let the stranger come log on.
Posted by: Christobol | November 23, 2004 at 08:05 AM
Hey Dave,
how do you "chat" with a liberal?
I didn't know that you were bilingual.....or bi-anything for that matter.
so, what will you guys chat about?
Knowing WaPo, it will probably be something like:
a) global warming caused by those mean SUV's
b) the neglected feelings of marine animals
c) the potential destruction of the entire liberal platform [i.e. mass immorality, relativism, etc.] by those twicky wittle conservatives.
whatever the topic, good luck Dave!
Posted by: STREET CORNER PHILOSOPHER | November 23, 2004 at 08:08 AM
Klynn -- like the original Bob Newhart Show, Howard Borden's brother, "Warden Gordon Borden."
If you're not old enough, never mind...
Posted by: Guin | November 23, 2004 at 08:10 AM
booger
oh,, wrong site -
*still good for practicing bold*
Posted by: Eleanor | November 23, 2004 at 08:16 AM
Didn't somebody once call elle: Presidente Blogsnogger?
Just sayin'
Posted by: Leetie | November 23, 2004 at 08:17 AM
Oh, and Dave, can you beat up Robert MacMillan for calling the blog threadbare?
He called it what? Quick, someone come up with a hackneyed, trite reply!
Damn! If I weren't so preoccupied with shallow drivel I'd really skewer that Robert guy with an insightful dig. I would.
Posted by: Christobol | November 23, 2004 at 08:22 AM
Guin, definately old enuff, why I was born back when we watched the old man draw mastadons on the cave wall for entertainment.
Posted by: klynn | November 23, 2004 at 08:25 AM
Fed, the Washington Post's father would like to talk to you re: your poking around it.
Posted by: Christobol | November 23, 2004 at 08:29 AM
defintely steal Dave's Boogers too Fed
Posted by: Mad Scientist | November 23, 2004 at 08:32 AM
Dear Dave,
I'm a reasonably well-trained Border Collie, and I have been enjoying your columns in several ways for years. I usually laugh hard enough to make weewee, and little Timmy uses newspapers to potty train me in between spats of falling in the well. So I figured out that it's easier just to sneak off to a corner and straddle your column when I read it.
My question is: Can I snog zippy?
Posted by: Federal Duck | November 23, 2004 at 08:39 AM
Christobol...excellent song!
Fed...I agree with Mad
Posted by: Joshkr | November 23, 2004 at 08:40 AM
Fed..."Can I snog zippy?" *spewing beer*
Posted by: Joshkr | November 23, 2004 at 08:42 AM
Fed, what are you doing with my dog?? Ozzy, come! Come here boy! Come! GET YER BUTT OVER HERE!
*sigh* Ok, so I guess he's not that reasonably well-trained after all.
Posted by: Mike Weasel | November 23, 2004 at 08:52 AM
Which is correct: "Yolk of eggs is white" or "Yolk of eggs are white"?
All I could come up with.
Posted by: Joshkr | November 23, 2004 at 08:58 AM
Dear Dave,
I had hoped it would not come to this. I have kidnapped my neighbor's imaginary girlfriend (please find imaginary severed thumb -------->here). I will do unspeakable (at for me, they appear to be in German) things to her unless you meet my demands.
1. Let Fed Snog Zippy
2. Do the macarena with Fidel Castro
3. Build a habitat for Cher with Jimmy Carter. Burn it down..
That is all, for now. .
Oh, by the way. I'm a big fan, sorry to hear you're taking time off, but I understand.
Posted by: Christobol | November 23, 2004 at 09:02 AM
Mike- Did you absolutely need to command your dog to come while I was snogging it? Now I'm unfulfilled and Ozzy's off smoking his doggy cigarettes while I'm humping little Timmy's leg again.
Posted by: Federal Duck | November 23, 2004 at 09:02 AM
Rita, I hate to show my ignorance, but what chat? Where do I find it?
Posted by: klynn | November 23, 2004 at 09:11 AM
Rita, please ignore my last comment. Is there an undo button around here?
Posted by: klynn the ignorant | November 23, 2004 at 09:13 AM
I think my comment was too big to get accepted. Plus, it wasn't in the form of a question.
Ozzy, bad dog! Go back and finish what you started! er, wait...
Posted by: Mike Weasel | November 23, 2004 at 09:14 AM
Yea! I got an answer (re:invitation to teh Cher concert). My life is comlete.
Posted by: Boo Augustus | November 23, 2004 at 09:15 AM
rita - try clicking on "Automatically update page" -
it doesn't work for me, but they say it'll work with some browsers - or is that bowsers - i'm confused -
Posted by: Eleanor | November 23, 2004 at 09:19 AM
It doesn't seem to work for me, so I'm just occasionally hitting the refresh button.
Posted by: Mike Weasel | November 23, 2004 at 09:21 AM
Okay, who here has been getting sexually aroused over state capitals? I mean, who here other than Chirstobol.
Posted by: Boo Augustus | November 23, 2004 at 09:24 AM
Hey, Helena's pretty hot...
Posted by: Mike Weasel | November 23, 2004 at 09:26 AM
No I think he's pretty much flat out saying so.
Posted by: Mike Weasel | November 23, 2004 at 09:28 AM
djt...you should ask that :)
I for one, don't know what he is talking about *whistles and scuffs shoes*
Posted by: Joshkr | November 23, 2004 at 09:29 AM
We're surprising normal. Dave said so himself.
Posted by: Boo Augustus | November 23, 2004 at 09:29 AM
100 extra points if that's something other than white out.
Posted by: Mike Weasel | November 23, 2004 at 09:31 AM
*slowly applies white out to kinky test score*
Ooooh...yeah...you like that, baby?
Posted by: Joshkr | November 23, 2004 at 09:32 AM
Joshkr and djtonyb - I submitted question asking just that very think - let's see if he answers - hah!
Posted by: Eleanor | November 23, 2004 at 09:32 AM
Dave must be getting tired. Or is this only a 30 minute session?
Posted by: Boo Augustus | November 23, 2004 at 09:32 AM
Fed! You made it on the chat! Congrats!
(I haven't read other posts, but I'm assuming I'm WAYYYY LTTG with this, but just sayin')
Posted by: slyeyes | November 23, 2004 at 09:33 AM
that very thing
Posted by: Eleanor | November 23, 2004 at 09:33 AM
oooo, he answered my question about Peter and the Starcatchers becoming a Broadway Musical.
I'm joining Boo in the arena of complete lives.
Posted by: slyeyes | November 23, 2004 at 09:39 AM
hmmmmm, my post congratulating Boo on the Cher post disappeared. I thought that was yours.
Posted by: slyeyes | November 23, 2004 at 09:42 AM
Well, maybe half of them...
Posted by: Mike Weasel | November 23, 2004 at 09:44 AM
It's very nice in this column, isn't it slyeyes.
Posted by: Boo Augustus | November 23, 2004 at 09:54 AM
Hey- Who's the blogger in Vienna, VA??? That's right up the street from me! I'm figuring that Boo and elle are writing from Arlington and Dc...?
Posted by: Leetie | November 23, 2004 at 09:57 AM
I asked the pet question. Yay!
Posted by: Mike Weasel | November 23, 2004 at 09:58 AM
He's definitely ducking q's about Claire! I've asked 3.
Posted by: Leetie | November 23, 2004 at 10:01 AM
I think it's over now, he thanked us. What a guy!
Posted by: Mike Weasel | November 23, 2004 at 10:02 AM
That was awesome. Got in two questions anyway.
Thanks Dave.
Posted by: menotyou | November 23, 2004 at 10:02 AM
I asked about Claire also. Maybe it was because I asked "just how long have you two been having hot monkey sex and why exactly do you hate Jeff Meyerson?"
Maybe I should have rephrased it.
Posted by: slyeyes | November 23, 2004 at 10:04 AM
I tried to thank him for bringing Mad and I together but that didn't make it. He probably doesn't want to be responsible for that. :)
Posted by: Mike Weasel | November 23, 2004 at 10:05 AM
Me too, Jeff. I even managed to get him a sexually suggestive poem involving Vermont: Montpelier.
Guess I should've called him a soul-less dork, eh?
Booger!
Posted by: Christobol | November 23, 2004 at 10:06 AM
Hey Leetie, that was me. Also about lets get rrid of Dr. Gridlock...
I'm right by Tyson's Corner.
Posted by: BlurkinginVienna | November 23, 2004 at 10:06 AM
I wouldn't want to be in Tyson's Corner; he might bite my ear off!
(har! I bet you never heard *that* one before!)
Posted by: Mike Weasel | November 23, 2004 at 10:08 AM
Vienna Blurker, you must join the united federation of DC bloglits!
I was impressed that you got a your (not you're) joke in there, as well as a booger. Good for you!
Posted by: Leetie | November 23, 2004 at 10:09 AM
what was leetie's question?
Posted by: slyeyes | November 23, 2004 at 10:09 AM
I asked him if I could have his blue shirt when he goes into pseudo retirment ... I also told him I like the way he wears his hair ...
Oh well, next time. :)
Posted by: punky brewster | November 23, 2004 at 10:09 AM
He only took my Cher item. Who knew there were other people out there in D.C.
Posted by: Boo Augustus | November 23, 2004 at 10:10 AM
I wonder if it would be a good idea to take a field trip to one of Gene's chats :)
Posted by: Joshkr | November 23, 2004 at 10:11 AM
I'd rather go to Monkey Jungle.
Posted by: MeganBNL | November 23, 2004 at 10:12 AM
I tried to get posted with this (didn't work):
-------------------
Dave,
I just finished eating lunch at a nearby casino. I'm looking at my bill. It's costing me $28,000.00. All I had was the soup & half sandwich combo. What should I leave as a tip?
-------------------
Oh, and I would never mention that there (not their) is a Climax, PA USA. See Dave? We wouldn't.... oh-- nevermind.
Posted by: Lou Bricant | November 23, 2004 at 10:12 AM
Sly, I asked all the q's from Fairfax, VA except for the manatee question - that was JU. We must have had a technical advantage being close-in to DC. Either that, or the fact that I swamped them with questions non-stop.
Posted by: Leetie | November 23, 2004 at 10:13 AM
Field trips are only fun when you can take over with impunity.
Posted by: Boo Augustus | November 23, 2004 at 10:13 AM
Hooray for Fed - tears for Eleanor and all other bloggers who were totally ignored by Dave, the light of our life!!!
*goes to get Kleenex*
Posted by: Eleanor | November 23, 2004 at 10:13 AM
I've been a faithful lurker to this blog for a long time and I hardly ever come out of my warm, safe, anonymous spot unless I have something witty to say...which is why I hardly ever come out.
But I need to know about the "roo, roo" thing. I've heard it mentioned many times, but I can't find the first mention which may (or may not) have carried some explanation with it.
And now, after Dave made numerous references to it in the chat, I'm hoping someone might elaborate. Then I promise I'll crawl back into my lurking place.
mmmm....so cozy in there...
Thanks.
Posted by: Debbie | November 23, 2004 at 10:15 AM
I don't know about the distance thing Leetie. I'm only about 5 or 6 blocks away from the Post.
Posted by: Boo Augustus | November 23, 2004 at 10:16 AM
Thanks Leetie,
I was going for the Da Vinci Code Cracked = National Treasure reference. But did manage a "your not you're" and a booger anyway.
Posted by: DC United... bloggist | November 23, 2004 at 10:16 AM
Leetie, I had thought all of the Fairfax VA questions were bloglits.....I just didn't know they were all one!! And, I suspected the question about the coconut bra, foil hat and beanie were either you, elle or rita.
Good going!
Posted by: slyeyes | November 23, 2004 at 10:17 AM
I got my bloggoddess question in, but I would have felt better about the answer if he had added "I'm not making this up."
I also asked:
If you had to be stranded on a deserted island with only your blog commenters, would you:
a) pitch yourself off the nearest cliff,
b) start a new religion, or
c) write a script and arrange to film a bawdy version of gilligan's island?
And:
Do you think "Upoma loves Shoeb" would be a great name for a rock band?
Posted by: Deontologist | November 23, 2004 at 10:21 AM
Jeff, I mentioned your iminent birthday in one of my questions... maybe he'll suprise you by posting one of your links tomorrow.
Posted by: Leetie | November 23, 2004 at 10:22 AM
Jeff,
Excellent - they'll match mom's moose poo garter belt!
Posted by: Debbie | November 23, 2004 at 10:24 AM
Save the owls. Use a squirrel.
Posted by: Deontologist | November 23, 2004 at 10:25 AM
I went to the Monkey Jungle around age 7 with my brother and some of his friends. One monkey s&#t all over one of my brother's friends (the one I hated) - what a day!
Posted by: BigD | November 23, 2004 at 10:28 AM
Hey, VLTTG here, but several of our questions got posted! Sweeeeeet. If I ever spawn, I'll have something cool to tell them.
I hate that I've missed all of his book tour and RBR appearances, but he never comes out this way (I don't blame him). At least he's still talking to the fans.
Posted by: Federal Duck | November 23, 2004 at 10:40 AM
And for the record, I will come out and admit it. I don't get the roo roo joke. I read it several times when he first posted it, and I've still got nothin'. Is the chief just saying that they're all going to ferk him and then kill him with the spear? If so, I don't think that's a real punch line.
Posted by: Federal Duck | November 23, 2004 at 10:43 AM
Yes, Fed. The guy thinks he's going to get an easy death and avoid the "roo-roo" by picking the instant death. To his surprise, he still gets "roo-roo."
The way I heard the joke it was "Death by baffunda" and "But first... BAFFUNDA!"
It's best when you get to hear the dramatic pause. *grin*
Posted by: LabSpecimen | November 23, 2004 at 10:48 AM
responding to guin, about a zillion posts back:
didn't Howard Borden have another brother , Norman Borden, the Mormon doorman ?
Posted by: insomniac | November 23, 2004 at 10:56 AM
You ladies wouldn't find it funny because you've never had the maturity level of an 11 year old boy. It's unfortunate, but true.
Posted by: LabSpecimen | November 23, 2004 at 10:58 AM
Last week the WaPo had an online chat with the producers of all the online chats. They said that they screen the questions first and then pass along to whomever what they think are the best(criteria?) ones and he/she chooses from those... FWIW
Posted by: Eleanor | November 23, 2004 at 11:01 AM
Here's how I heard that joke:
Roo-Roo Joke
Two men were captured in the bush (apparently neither was equipped with many servings of spaghetti) by cannibals. They were brought before the tribal chief, who informed them both that they had been randomly selected for a most excellent prize, which would certainly exceed many American dollars in value, but that first they would need to listen to a short and enjoyable presentation regarding jungle timeshares.
The men indicated they were not interested, so the chief announced that they would be killed. He advised the men that, since he was a generally nice cheif, they could choose how they wished to die, from the following menu:
1) Cher
2) Boil Implants
3) Disappointment
4) Giant Squid
or
5) Roo-Roo
The first man thought for a moment and asked the chief what roo-roo was. The chief replied that roo-roo was an ancient sexual ritual involving Cher, Boil Implants, Disappointment, and a Giant Squid.
So, the two men decided they were actually quite interested in a jungle time-share afterall, and the chief said, ok, then go with Umgatwa to hear the fine presentation, but first...
Come with me into this bar, with a minister, a priest, and a rabbi!
The Minister said, "Good idea lady, I'll hold your monkey!"
The Rabbi said, "Shoot the Dog!"
The Priest said, "Are you kidding me? Last time I tried that I double-bogeyed this hole!"
So the chief said, "On second thought let's go up to my place and listen to some Barry Manilow"
The men said, "Great idea, but first, Roo-Roo!"
I never liked the joke either.
Posted by: Christobol | November 23, 2004 at 11:20 AM
I asked the question about Ridley still being married and then I asked abut CLaire Martin and he ignored the question!..Jeff, we need to get to the bottom of this!
Posted by: julietine | November 23, 2004 at 11:23 AM
Silly Rabbi, kicks are for tridds.
Posted by: LabSpecimen | November 23, 2004 at 11:26 AM
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
Posted by: Leetie | November 23, 2004 at 11:29 AM
*snork* Christobol.
I just posted what I believe could be the definitive Roo Roo joke in the next thread, but I like your version an elle of a lot better.
*snockers elle*
Posted by: Federal Duck | November 23, 2004 at 11:29 AM
"Knock, knock"
"Who's there?"
"Impatient cow"
"Impatient c..."
"Moo!"
Posted by: LabSpecimen | November 23, 2004 at 11:31 AM
LabSpecimen:
Thanks so much for the roo roo link. I feel so "in the know". Which means that DB will never again make the reference.
Posted by: Debbie | November 23, 2004 at 11:33 AM
My wife thinks I am crazy.
The other day I grabbed the video camera and threw some sugar substitute on the lawn.
She said: What are you doing?
I said: I want to do a remake of "Splenda in the Grass"
Posted by: BigD | November 23, 2004 at 11:38 AM
I'm damned proud of myself. I managed to get the second question on the chat. And, as it turns out, I got the longest answer!
Posted by: SteveB | November 23, 2004 at 11:39 AM
BigD,
You are Hilarious!
Posted by: julietine | November 23, 2004 at 11:43 AM
It's always a good day when we flush a few blurkers.
Welcome Debbie and DC United... !
Posted by: Leetie | November 23, 2004 at 11:45 AM