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October 19, 2004


We respond: Oh yeah?


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"I Can Wait"... go ahead and be first. How am I doing, Booger?

Guys, how 'bout a NIGHT OUT ON THE TOWN W/ 4 TOP LA MODELS !!!

"I can't believe Mindy wore the same outfit as me tonight!"

"Why did you pick this dump?"

"Didn't you hear me? I asked you a question!"

"You haven't heard a word I just said."

" . . . and then he says to me he says "you're crazy!", and I'm all like, what-ever!"

"You should look at people when they talk to you . . . ."

Dave, do you get any royalties from him for his nickname?

Motivational lecture about sex, drugs and alcohol. Right. Like it's all redundant and stuff, and doesn't leave any time to talk about rock and roll.

What do you want to bet he skipped college and went straight to the pros? (Kinda like my cousin Samantha, but we don't talk about her around the dinner table any more)

That's right, Booger. If you can get the middle schoolers to wait that means more sex, drugs, and alcohol for NFL players.

Cousin Samantha played football?

Oh, wait...I think I get it.

Wait, he shows them a video about drugs, sex and alcohol? That's not a doctored video, is it?

I think that video was a recording of the MOAT after dark...

maybe Booger should give this lecture to his team mates as well. Or at least the Oakland Raiders....

Click on the ICW website link. You can find out how to join the clob and win Booger Bucks.

This club won't accept me I bet; I am on pregnancy number four, but if I wait any longer I'll be menopausal!

You sure the MOAT was AFTER dark there? Seems like all the time to me..

And after the talk someone can evidently go on a date with four women who over-used the bleach bottle! Woo Hoo! But no sex, drugs, alcohol, or rock 'n roll (that last one is just to make sure)

My son is only 8 mths; you think I can get in the club?

One wonders if Mr. McFarland has a Sweet Phallus or a Rusty Anus...


mud - Let us not forget Big Testicles.

hard to forget the big testicles

No wonder he can wait. You'd have to be desperate to have sex with a booger.

I can't wait....

insert obligatory newlywed joke here....

He's a good-lookin booger tho.. and not to be a big wet blanket to liberals, but my parents have fostered for almost 15 years now, and I have seen the results of teen sex, drugs and alcohol (I know that one does not always lead to the other, but it very frequently does) If the example he sets leaves an impression on only a few lives, then it is not wasted, and the fact that he manages to combine a positive message and the "B" word can only be a good thing!!

Mud: Made me spit out my soda, then tilt head up to laugh out loud. much to the chagrin of my roommates.

I had to do a double take to be sure he had a microphone in his hand. His nickname woulda been applicable real fast.

Right on, Kat!

Meanwhile, getting to Booger...

"Sex? I can wait!
Drugs? I can wait!
Alcohol? I can wait!
I can wait... but I ain't fixin to wait, mind ya! Pass me another nubile crack coed with a beer chaser, would ya?"

Where do I pick up my certificate?

Do I even want to know how this guy got his nickname?

So, he's waiting for sex, drugs, and alchohol? Just how long does he have to wait until he can do drugs?

heh, booger

What men can expect to say
in college:'I can wait'

what men can expect to hear
after marriage:'You can wait'

Is there a cut-off date? "I can wait" implies that at some point they will stop waiting. Oh, wait, yeah, that's in the sports contracts, sorry, forgot.

To whom it may concern:

________ of the team ________ is now officially allowed to do drugs, booze and lots and lots of sex. Especially if your ratings are slipping and ANY publicity will look better than none.

But what about those non-sporty kids? Without permission, they will become slutty, drunken drug addicts and...how is this different, remind me.


In a subsequent photo, the microphone Booger is seen holding is farther away from his face, making visible how he got his nickname.

Although, he wasn't wearing a blue shirt in the 1988 photo. So maybe things can change without world-wide cataclysm resulting - but I'm still not happy.

Bangi: you have much wisdom for one so young.

How could he not have told US first?

Dave....taking a break?...well, you deserve whatever you want....but as for the rest of us....BOOGER......:(

I cannot believe Dave would abandon us. Surely he is only taking a break from writing his column, not from the blog.

And don't call me Shirley.

I wonder whether my piano would fit in Dave's office. Obviously it's time to throw my resume at the Miami Herald...

"And they can actually read the news, which is hilarious. That's all I read. I just read the papers and go, 'Well, that's stupid'. And I write 800 words and when it boils down to it, it's 'Well, that was stupid.'

"They can do that without me."

* Sniffle *

Yes, Dave, we can all say 'Well, that was stupid.', but not in the same eloquent way as your gift. Especially after 9/11, this country (and world) has needed a humorist who can still point to everyday things and say "Ha, Ha!" to keep our spirits perked up. Shuttling you from event to event, keeping you away from your family and throttling your home with hurricanes was not very nice thanks for all you do.

Rest up, Dave. Enjoy Sophie while she is growing up. You will be sorely missed.

But, but, but... how am I supposed to procrastinate without my daily dose of Dave?

(Daily Dose of Dave wbagnf something)

Booger is right

According to this organization, I guess at some point doing drugs becomes okay. When would that be, exactly?

*checks birth certificate*

Well, I'm your Daily Dose of Dave Girl. Are you tired, run down, listless? Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular? Well, are you?

The answer to all your problems is in this little ol' bottle, Daily Dose of Dave. That's it. Dose of Daily Dave contains vitamins, meat, humor and boogers.

So why don't you join the millions of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Dave's Dose of Daily Boogers. I'll tell you what you have to do. You have to take a whole tablespoonful after every meal. It's so tasty too. It's just like candy.

So everybody get a bottle of this stuff!

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