WHEN PEOPLE TRY TO TELL US THERE ARE NO ROLE MODELS ANY MORE
We respond: Oh yeah?
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October 19, 2004
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First?!?
Posted by: pelagicsal | October 19, 2004 at 02:47 PM
"I Can Wait"... go ahead and be first. How am I doing, Booger?
Posted by: waxwing | October 19, 2004 at 02:49 PM
Guys, how 'bout a NIGHT OUT ON THE TOWN W/ 4 TOP LA MODELS !!!
"I can't believe Mindy wore the same outfit as me tonight!"
"Why did you pick this dump?"
"Didn't you hear me? I asked you a question!"
"You haven't heard a word I just said."
" . . . and then he says to me he says "you're crazy!", and I'm all like, what-ever!"
"You should look at people when they talk to you . . . ."
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | October 19, 2004 at 02:50 PM
Dave, do you get any royalties from him for his nickname?
Posted by: slyeyes | October 19, 2004 at 02:50 PM
Motivational lecture about sex, drugs and alcohol. Right. Like it's all redundant and stuff, and doesn't leave any time to talk about rock and roll.
What do you want to bet he skipped college and went straight to the pros? (Kinda like my cousin Samantha, but we don't talk about her around the dinner table any more)
Posted by: jamester | October 19, 2004 at 02:54 PM
That's right, Booger. If you can get the middle schoolers to wait that means more sex, drugs, and alcohol for NFL players.
Posted by: pelagicsal | October 19, 2004 at 02:56 PM
Cousin Samantha played football?
Oh, wait...I think I get it.
Posted by: slyeyes | October 19, 2004 at 02:58 PM
Wait, he shows them a video about drugs, sex and alcohol? That's not a doctored video, is it?
Posted by: john | October 19, 2004 at 03:10 PM
I think that video was a recording of the MOAT after dark...
Posted by: Mad Scientist | October 19, 2004 at 04:01 PM
maybe Booger should give this lecture to his team mates as well. Or at least the Oakland Raiders....
Posted by: Mad Scientist | October 19, 2004 at 04:03 PM
Click on the ICW website link. You can find out how to join the clob and win Booger Bucks.
This club won't accept me I bet; I am on pregnancy number four, but if I wait any longer I'll be menopausal!
Posted by: Jessica R. | October 19, 2004 at 04:27 PM
You sure the MOAT was AFTER dark there? Seems like all the time to me..
And after the talk someone can evidently go on a date with four women who over-used the bleach bottle! Woo Hoo! But no sex, drugs, alcohol, or rock 'n roll (that last one is just to make sure)
Posted by: Anne | October 19, 2004 at 04:45 PM
My son is only 8 mths; you think I can get in the club?
Posted by: Anne | October 19, 2004 at 04:46 PM
One wonders if Mr. McFarland has a Sweet Phallus or a Rusty Anus...
(Sorry)
Posted by: mudstuffin | October 19, 2004 at 04:51 PM
mud - Let us not forget Big Testicles.
Posted by: djtonyb | October 19, 2004 at 05:33 PM
hard to forget the big testicles
Posted by: slyeyes | October 19, 2004 at 05:44 PM
No wonder he can wait. You'd have to be desperate to have sex with a booger.
Posted by: bbescuela | October 19, 2004 at 05:46 PM
I can't wait....
insert obligatory newlywed joke here....
Posted by: Higgy | October 19, 2004 at 06:08 PM
He's a good-lookin booger tho.. and not to be a big wet blanket to liberals, but my parents have fostered for almost 15 years now, and I have seen the results of teen sex, drugs and alcohol (I know that one does not always lead to the other, but it very frequently does) If the example he sets leaves an impression on only a few lives, then it is not wasted, and the fact that he manages to combine a positive message and the "B" word can only be a good thing!!
Posted by: Kat | October 19, 2004 at 06:11 PM
Mud: Made me spit out my soda, then tilt head up to laugh out loud. much to the chagrin of my roommates.
I had to do a double take to be sure he had a microphone in his hand. His nickname woulda been applicable real fast.
Posted by: crash | October 19, 2004 at 06:33 PM
Right on, Kat!
Meanwhile, getting to Booger...
"Sex? I can wait!
Drugs? I can wait!
Alcohol? I can wait!
I can wait... but I ain't fixin to wait, mind ya! Pass me another nubile crack coed with a beer chaser, would ya?"
Where do I pick up my certificate?
Posted by: Christobol | October 19, 2004 at 06:36 PM
Do I even want to know how this guy got his nickname?
Posted by: Corn | October 19, 2004 at 06:42 PM
So, he's waiting for sex, drugs, and alchohol? Just how long does he have to wait until he can do drugs?
Posted by: Krystal | October 19, 2004 at 06:47 PM
heh, booger
Posted by: Psycho_Joe | October 19, 2004 at 07:38 PM
What men can expect to say
in college:'I can wait'
what men can expect to hear
after marriage:'You can wait'
Posted by: bangi | October 19, 2004 at 09:31 PM
Is there a cut-off date? "I can wait" implies that at some point they will stop waiting. Oh, wait, yeah, that's in the sports contracts, sorry, forgot.
To whom it may concern:
________ of the team ________ is now officially allowed to do drugs, booze and lots and lots of sex. Especially if your ratings are slipping and ANY publicity will look better than none.
But what about those non-sporty kids? Without permission, they will become slutty, drunken drug addicts and...how is this different, remind me.
Booger
Posted by: Kinkymomma | October 19, 2004 at 11:02 PM
In a subsequent photo, the microphone Booger is seen holding is farther away from his face, making visible how he got his nickname.
Posted by: Lairbo | October 20, 2004 at 04:15 AM
Although, he wasn't wearing a blue shirt in the 1988 photo. So maybe things can change without world-wide cataclysm resulting - but I'm still not happy.
Posted by: Zaphod | October 20, 2004 at 05:06 AM
Bangi: you have much wisdom for one so young.
Posted by: mudstuffin | October 20, 2004 at 05:07 AM
How could he not have told US first?
Posted by: Miriam | October 20, 2004 at 05:12 AM
Dave....taking a break?...well, you deserve whatever you want....but as for the rest of us....BOOGER......:(
Posted by: russell | October 20, 2004 at 05:19 AM
I cannot believe Dave would abandon us. Surely he is only taking a break from writing his column, not from the blog.
And don't call me Shirley.
Posted by: Shannon | October 20, 2004 at 05:32 AM
I wonder whether my piano would fit in Dave's office. Obviously it's time to throw my resume at the Miami Herald...
Posted by: Robert | October 20, 2004 at 05:41 AM
"And they can actually read the news, which is hilarious. That's all I read. I just read the papers and go, 'Well, that's stupid'. And I write 800 words and when it boils down to it, it's 'Well, that was stupid.'
"They can do that without me."
* Sniffle *
Yes, Dave, we can all say 'Well, that was stupid.', but not in the same eloquent way as your gift. Especially after 9/11, this country (and world) has needed a humorist who can still point to everyday things and say "Ha, Ha!" to keep our spirits perked up. Shuttling you from event to event, keeping you away from your family and throttling your home with hurricanes was not very nice thanks for all you do.
Rest up, Dave. Enjoy Sophie while she is growing up. You will be sorely missed.
Posted by: MOTW | October 20, 2004 at 05:41 AM
But, but, but... how am I supposed to procrastinate without my daily dose of Dave?
(Daily Dose of Dave wbagnf something)
Posted by: Rachel | October 20, 2004 at 05:49 AM
Booger is right
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | October 20, 2004 at 07:15 AM
According to this organization, I guess at some point doing drugs becomes okay. When would that be, exactly?
*checks birth certificate*
Posted by: rhealist | October 20, 2004 at 07:28 AM
Well, I'm your Daily Dose of Dave Girl. Are you tired, run down, listless? Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular? Well, are you?
The answer to all your problems is in this little ol' bottle, Daily Dose of Dave. That's it. Dose of Daily Dave contains vitamins, meat, humor and boogers.
So why don't you join the millions of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Dave's Dose of Daily Boogers. I'll tell you what you have to do. You have to take a whole tablespoonful after every meal. It's so tasty too. It's just like candy.
So everybody get a bottle of this stuff!
Posted by: Lucy | October 20, 2004 at 08:05 AM