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October 27, 2004

UPDATE UPDATE

Today we're traveling to Chicago by bus. It's the official bus of the Richmond Kickers, a professional soccer team, which probably plays music better than we do. Inside, it's mostly bunks, kind of like a submarine. I'll try to post a crapcam photo.

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Ta Dah

The real reason Dave is taking a year off, he needs it.

Huh?

What?

Todaü? A foreign language! He must be conspiring with the Dutch!

Allow me to translate for you: it means "Tipiyotki"

He's losing his touch.

And the same to you, my good fellow!

*goes back to clipping fingernails*

Man! Now Dave's fixed it. If not for Federal Duck, people would not know what happened.
Hail the Duck!

Ooh look, now it says things!

Dave: It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.

Harry must be one hell of a techy whiz if he's got Dave setup to blog from a moving submarine-bus. That first post probably failed because Dave turned his head to look at what Ridley was doing to their "road goat", thus losing the uplink from his helmet-dish to the geosynchronous blog satellite.

Yeah - that's what happened.

C-bol - Now you see, if he got the new HelmetDish 6000 BloggerFriend Pro he'd have a set of gyroscopes keeping the dish dircted the right way no matter what he did.
Of course he'd be in danger of his head falling off, but that's just a minor bug that should be fixed in a couple of years.

Wow, a bus full of bunks. From a sports team. Imagine the smell...Sounds like they are sparing no expense.

Thank you Penny for your thoughts, but the HelmetDish 6000 Bloggerfriend Pro has had a patch out for the head bug for about three months now. Unfortunately while it fixes the head bug it cause appendage floppage (try typing with that)and is only available at a small romanian website that operates on standard Romanian Business time.

"All your hard drives belong to us"

Thank you Penny for your thoughts, but the HelmetDish 6000 Bloggerfriend Pro has had a patch out for the head bug for about three months now. Unfortunately while it fixes the head bug it can cause appendage floppage (try typing with that)and is only available at a small Romanian website that operates on standard Romanian Business time.

"All your hard drives belong to us"

I got the new HelmetDish 6000 BloggerFriend Deluxe so I could still blog while up a deer stand trying to get Punky-Jo Lurleene wasted off of pine flavored gum soaked in Gin, but when she turned on my new TrouserThrob 3000's with the multi-function remote control, Windows Service Pack 2 went haywire and set off my DeerSniper XQZ v. 4.2, which shot a hole in the radio of my pickup truck, and now we can't listen to our new Christobol and the BloggSnoggers CD, which totally ruins the mood we had so perfectly set with the deer urine after the tractor truck pull.

Boogers if ya do and boogers if ya don't.

Dave - I am from Richmond and we love our Richmond Kickers! Are you sharing the bus with our hottie soccer players? If you are, please post those crap cam pictures please - for Judi, of course.

What Tina said. Also, if Brad Pitt shows up on the bus and rips his shirt off, keep an eye on your bag of money, 'kay?

Miss Jenny, I am also from Richmond and proud of my bus. Would be even prouder if Brad Pitt did feel compelled to rip his shirt off because of it.

Brad Pitt tried to rip off my shirt once.

Cheap Bastard.

Brad Pitt tried to rip off my shirt once.

Cheap Bastard.

Oh, wait. Sorry, that was Brad Schitt.

Apologies.

It sure is the Pitts to double post.

Yep...I THOUGHT somebody said something about Brad Pitt with his shirt off...

My Pitt-sense was tingling. (I love it when that happens.)

My latest and greatest fantasy involves a shirtless Pitt and a tub of Nutella.

Oh, joy. Mamma like.

Fed: are you sure it wasn't this helmet?

Is Steve King out there (not their) with the band? If so, could someone please give him a HUGE kiss from me for finishing The Dark Tower before the Sox win the Series and the world ends?

-- Guin
all paths follow the Beam...

...a shirtless Pitt and a tub of Nutella.

Polly, you've just given me something to do for the rest of the day.

PERI!!!!!

How are you? It's been ages! I missed ya.

*Finishes gushing. Slugs Peri on the shoulder.*

Survey Question For the Ladies

In terms of pure, short term, shallow, practical, physical joy, would you prefer:

A) Brad Pitt shirtless or
2) Barry Maninow and Carrot Top in a game of naked tackle football on a field of mayonnaise.

PS - Too late, it's burned into your imagination.

*repeatedly slams head against wall trying to kill thinly veiled homo-erotic image of naked Barry Manilow and Carrot Top playing football*

*finished banging head*

Hmmm...Now a naked Brad Pitt has joined them.

I'm not sure if that's better or worse, but could somebody bring me some popcorn and a lawn chair?

*throws up a little in mouth thinking of Tina throwing up a little in mouth*

Ouch, Tina went nuclear on me.

Well done, indeed. Think I pulled something laughing at the "threw up a little in my mouth" comment.

By the way, is there an ointment or drug or large vat of tequila around to treat mild to moderate fascination with the idea of Ted Kennedy and Janet Reno naked in a vat of beenie weenies on a cold day?

Damn you CBol.
*squints eyes and shakes fist*
You suck....out loud.

*gives Christobol shot in the arm of Ted and Janet antidote*

As with antivenom and inoculations, they created this formulation using the dregs from that vat of beenie weenies that Ted Kennedy and Janet Reno were wrasselin' in. Of course, they had to weaken the metachlorians before it was safe for humans.

*becomes even stranger*

Should of mentioned I'm not human. Oh well, always wanted another arm. Ok, maybe not growing there...

Q: Should of or should have?

A: I blame the metachlorians. They were very strong, I feel.

At least it's not a breast.

on the back of your knee.

Uh oh, too late.

Or an extra penis.

But maybe a guy would like that.

That is why we have two hands after all

Polly: just one more thing to leave at home when you go to the hospital though.

Kingw,

Does that mean that all men with two hands have two penises? I've dated lots of two-handed men. Where do they hide the extra?

Polly, a lot of us just fake having two hands.

Sorry.

Christobol, a lot of us fake having orgasms.

Sorry.

On the other hand, a lot of us fake faking having orgasms.

Sorry.

Damn you, Christobol! You reminded me of walking towards to MGM Grand to see the Jimmy Buffett concert and my senses being bombarded by a huge billboard of Carrot-Top dominating the Strip and making many Nevadans avert their eyes and crash their cars.

I should have known... it's just not normal to yawn during an orgasm.

*at the Men Getting In Touch With Their Female Life Partner meeting in Tucson, AZ*

Keynote: ...and so it is possible, gentlemen, to become a sensitive lover even if you were born a selfish pig.

Guy1: Sir?

Keynote: Yes - you in the back. A question?

Guy1: Erm... yes. Did you say that it is possible for women to have orgasms?

Keynote: That's right. They can even have different kinds of orgasms. Good ones, bad ones, some with rocks in their head, fat ones, skinny ones, even ones with ducks named Fed. No wait, that's kids. Anyways, women can have fake orgasms, life changing orgasms, and orgasms that make them forget the "i" before "me" except after you pee rule.

Guy2: Fascinating. So they can have orgasms, though?

Keynote: *sigh*

Polly: or maybe you'd like a guy with an "extra".

....Good ones, bad ones, some with rocks in their head, fat ones, skinny ones, even ones...

Bad ones?? Would that be the ones where you DON'T scream?

Dunno, Sly - I always scream. And not in a sexy way - but in a blood curdling kinda way.

Guin,
I believe that judi or dave told us a few weeks ago that Stephen King had other committments and wouldn't be on this RBR tour.

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