UNCOMFORTABLE HEADLINE OF THE WEEK

Comments

[mariah]

That makes ME hungry!

[Stinky McGee]

Mmmmmmmmmm....fecal matter.

[Kate]

They've imposed the order on the residents? So they're going to boil the residents?! That seems a little harsh...

[iolite]

well at least they weren't placed under boils. They'd have to lance there way to freedom.

[Brainy Jello]

Just jumping on the obvious, eh Kate?

[Kate]

I'm the Queen of Obviousness. :-)

[Lou Bricant]

I guess this water would be useful if you were cooking up a Pu Pu Platter.

My apologies.

[Rachel]

Wow. That headline could get someone in a lot of hot water.

*ducks*

[aye]

but that's not nearly as good as the headline down below it.

"mom says father of quints is doing well."

it's amazing, the sorts of things they're doing with medical science these days.

[Mr.Fisher]

Oh well Rachel, not to worry. I'm sure who ever wrote it had a Bubbling personality.

[Federal Duck]

It's obvious what this article is implying:

Fecal Matter and the Boiling Orders wbagnfarb

[Rachel]

Simmer down, now, Mr.Fisher!

[SchadeBoy]

Aye,
While the headline about the quints father does sound funny, the actual article isn't nearly so amusing. Apparently, the father was wounded in Iraq.

[Federal Duck]

You know how in movies and sitcoms, whenever a woman is giving birth, they always send someone to boil water?
Why? Do they need to steam the wrinkles out of the baby?

[Rachel]

Fed - on a serious note, the boiling water is to sterilize everything.

However, creatively, yes, they could be steaming wrinkles out of the baby. Better than Botox!

[Mr.Fisher]

Rachel- You're (not your) right, dear. No need to fling poo after getting heated.

[PeeJay]

If I am correct the father was wounded by boiling water. However they think it wasa self-inflicted wound to get out of helping care for the quints. Hard to blame the guy.

[jason]

Mom: Who wants poo water??

Kids: Me, me, me me, I do....

Little sis. Can you boil mine mum?

Mum. Of course sweety.

Little bro: Oh me too!

Mom. Oh you know what I値l just boil everybody痴 poo water. And then we値l cool it and drink it and mmm, it値l be goooood. Everyone ready for iced boiled poo water?

Kids: Yeah!!!

I love kids.

[rhealist]

Rachel: That's one way to pre-empt your critics.

Critic: This album is the worst piece of sh*t I have ever heard.

Band: Uh, hello! Did you not notice... "Fecal Matter"? Tell us something we don't know.

*band members all laugh in Beavis and Butthead kind of way, give high-fives all around, leave to get drunk at local bar, split up two weeks later, tell everyone they meet for the rest of their lives that Nirvana stole their best stuff*

[neophyte]

My Dad was a doctor, used to go on house calls to deliver babies. He always said the boiling water was to give the father something to do to keep him out of the way.

[Mr.Fisher]

My dad was a gynecologist. He said the water was for boiling Eggs.

*runs very, very far away to avoid pee filled balloons*

[bigonbnl]

See I first read that "broiling order" which just opens up a whole new set of problems.

[rhealist]

Mr. Fish: What about balloons filled with unboiled Hanover Park water? You said nothing about avoiding those...

[Jim]

Not to worry, Kate - that's the same thought I appended when I reported it to the blog.

Always be sure your (not you're) residents are well cooked...

[neophyte]

No. You have to disguise the taste.
*passes out tea bags*

[neophyte]

*passes out little false mustaches*

[rhealist]

Did anyone notice the link at the bottom to a story about how antidepressant pills now have to carry warning labels that they increase the risk of suicide... doesn't that sort of mean they don't work???

Pharmaceutical Company: Here's our new antidepressant drug, ready for market.

FDA: But... your OWN studies have shown that these pills actually increase feelings of depression into downright suicidal tendencies. How can we possibly endorse that?

Pharmaceutical Company: Well, how about $50 million in campaign donations?

FDA: Okay then. But how about a warning label at least.

[neophyte]

*passes out*

[PeeJay]

Rhealist: How do I make the BOLDFACE type. Please help. Computer Illiterate!

[PeeJay]

Also my water taste like crap!!!

[rhealist]

PeeJay: You need to type:

1) A less than sign (I am math challenged - I mean the one where the closed point is to the left)
2) A small letter 'b'
3) The greater than sign
4) Whatever text you wish to bold
5) A less than sign
6) a /
7) another 'b'
8) The greater than sign

[PeeJay]

Thanks, but nevermind.

[neophyte]

Wha...? Huh?

*shakes drops of mineral water off her head*

Where am I? Why am I at the keyboard? I must have been sleep typing.

*realizes that's somebody else's line from another thread, decides to pass out again*

[Mr.Fisher]

Like this

Rhea- Well Crap. No I didn't.

*Ducks* or BOLD TYPE STUFF no spaces though.

SEE ----- > *Ducks*

[PeeJay]

Nevermind. Hey it works Nevermind

[neophyte]

*passes out margaritas*

[Mr.Fisher]

ooooops

then you BOLD CRAPPOLA and then another

there, hope that helps P AND J

[Mr.Fisher]

WHOA!!

COOOOOL

[neophyte]

hey it does work! Thanks, rhealist!

[PeeJay]

I've got it by jove, Iv'e got it

[Mike Weasel]

For your next trick, try italicizing things with the <i> tag...

[rhealist]

I have created a monster... actually several monsters.

*pats self on back*

All credit goes to djtonyb. He wrote down how to do it once, and that's where I learned.

*raises a glass to djtonyb... notes that the glass is NOT filled with unboiled Hanover Park water as THAT is in this water balloon I'm going to throw at Mr. Fisher*

[Mr.Fisher]

*Puts on Poop deflector*

[rhealist]

*passes Bangi a pile of water balloons*

Bangi, now is the time for bold ACTIONS. I suggest those guys at the HTML bar are perfect targets...

*readies balloon behind back...*

[PeeJay]

This is great. It's like I have a bunch of Yoda's and I can only grow stronger from you. That and crap water is not so bad once you get used to it. The tea bags do help.

[PeeJay]

See

[Sarcasmo]

Do u tags give you an underline?

[PeeJay]

See, I got cocky. I only mean't to boldface "stronger from you". Not the rest. How do I make it stop?!?!

[rhealist]

Curses, foiled again! And I would have gotten away with it, too, Mr. Fisher, if it hadn't been for your access to technology from a galaxy far, far away...

Having now shoehorned together two shows that really don't belong together, I am now going to spend the rest of the day drinking at the bar with djtonyb.

[Sarcasmo]

apparently, you just get an error

This is fun, thanks for the tutorial guys,

and, no poo water for me
I have to drive

I'll take that merit badge now.

[rhealist]

Ha Ha, Peter. Can't fool me... more than eight or ten times anyway. I always check your links now. You're not going to make me run screaming into the night anymore.

[PETER]

Rats!! Well I'm just going to have to be incognito if I'm going to get anybody again! I thought some newbie might fall for it. But really you gotta see this pic, it's different, just have a barf bag nearby!

off to the train! later gators...

[southerngrace]

realizing that the blog has become a place not to find comedy, but to discover html....hmmm... interesting yall

[pogo]

Pogo has had his pocket protector and slide rule since the 60's. Back then we used to just chisel our code on the chasis of the machine.

[reneviht]

djtonyb:You think that password's hard to remember?Our machines required us to use a mixture of uppercase-and-lowercase 1's and 0's.

[reneviht]

djtonyb:You think that password's hard to remember?Our machines required us to use a mixture of uppercase-and-lowercase 1's and 0's.

[reneviht]

djtonyb:

You think that password's hard to remember?Our machines required us to use a mixture of uppercase-and-lowercase 1's and 0's, and if we double-posted they'd put us in boiling water.

[whey]

I feel like this is a new beginning...all thanks to poo water!

[Anne]

Yeah, well, I remember playing with LOGO! on the Comodore 64. But that was at school. At home we had a Tandy...

See if any of y'all know what I am talking about.

[Anne]

I had to bold it... I just had to

[PeeJay]

Anne, I had a Tandy at school. Way back when. What a piece of crap!

[PeeJay]

I even remember the basic language cassette for the Atari 2600. I gues I'll be getting my AARP card soon.

[kat]

nam myoho range kyo te, Blogets!!!!!!!

[kj]

Yeah, Anne, I did a little LOGO. I also had a TI. You used a TV for a monitor, and data could be saved on an ordinary cassette tape. Speaking of AARP, when my husband first joined AARP, he tried to get a discount at a motel, and he couldn't find the card. He took out his VISA card, on which was printed "Member since 1972." The clerk looked at it and said, "Wow, they had credit cards back then?!?" There was no trouble convincing her he was old enough to have an AARP card.

[Beppo]

At the risk of being frighteningly on topic, I'll go ahead and tell everyone that this is by no means a unique event in "Hangover Park".

See, there's a reason I'm a FORMER resident.

[MzVette]

Just wait until your passwords require a upper case/lower case, number, and special charactor. Then they are a lot of fun (mine does...)