Dave Barry's Blog

MOVIE SNAKE UPDATE

The hunt goes on.

CREEPING FASCISM UPDATE

#)(&*%$)!

(Thanks to Lord Greg)

HERE IN JOURNALISM, WE'RE SO BUSY THAT...

...we don't even have time to read our own headlines.

(Thanks to Stephanie Long)

WE'LL DO WHAT WE CAN

Dave,

Please help with this year's presidential election by encouraging Florida residents to not vote. All these groups that are attempting to increase voter participation are trying to undermine the election. If more people vote in Florida than did in the last election, it will take even longer for the votes to be counted and recounted. Perhaps you could match individual Kerry voters with Bush voters, and get them to agree not to vote. Each matchup would mean two fewer votes to have to recount.

Mike Hesik
Oxford, CT

GIMME AN O

Or something.

(Thanks to Annie Eitman)

FROM THE BUREAU OF UNREASONABLY DANGEROUS SNACK FOODS

It's time for an update.

(Thanks to sct72)

IT'S A GUY THING

Hey Dave,

I was roaming through the G2G (Guide to Guys) Website, and when I got to the
merchandise page, I couldn't help but notice that unlike every other article
of clothing being sold, the "Classic Thong" was not shown on an actual
model. What are the chances of getting Judi Smith, your research department,
to model the "Classic Thong" for the merchandise page?

Sincerely, Mark Owen (John Moons Wanker) Johnson

Sorry, can't do it, but one of these women could fill in for me; the resemblance is uncanny.

(Warning is for the last link, and especially for the ladies.)

ATTENTION, BALD GUYS

You may be in violation of U.S. Patent Laws.

(Thanks to Lord Greg)

WHY MAYBE WE NEED TO BAN THE INTERNET

This is scary.

(Thanks to the evil geniuses at Something Awful)

WHO'S UP FOR A MOVIE?

Not us.

DEBATE ANALYSIS

We think it's obvious who the winner is.

A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE WILL BE RUSHED BY AIR TO...

...this woman.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)