OLD, BUT ALARMING, NEWS
Where exactly is Fort Polk, again?
(Thanks to Jacki Lippman)
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October 18, 2004
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I dunno, let me check.
Posted by: crash | October 18, 2004 at 02:47 PM
Louisiana! (not much different from Florida btw, what with swamps and gators and tootless wonders and airboats and snakes and tigers)
and Foist! (made my day)
Posted by: crash | October 18, 2004 at 02:50 PM
"A leash was found in a tree..."
Dayum, that thing's up in a tree somewhere! Fort Polk residents, LOOK TO THE SKIES.
I am trying to work in an "Eye of the Tiger" pun here, but cannot. Someone help the pun-challenged, please.
Posted by: waterboy | October 18, 2004 at 03:14 PM
Sure, I'll volunteer to help you look for a tiger! Sounds like fun, unless we find him!
Posted by: jamester | October 18, 2004 at 03:23 PM
So that's where the tiger that ate Roy Horn went...
Posted by: SchadeBoy | October 18, 2004 at 03:29 PM
I'm not sure where it is but it's not anywhere near me! That means I don't have to worry about errant tigers roaming around my neighborhood.
Of course, I still have to worry about those damned squirrels....
Posted by: SteveB | October 18, 2004 at 04:02 PM
Why don't they just try einy, meeny, meiny, moe?
Posted by: Jenny from the Hub | October 18, 2004 at 04:04 PM
I knew a guy who tried baiting a trap with a tuna sandwich, and that seemed to work...
Posted by: reneviht | October 18, 2004 at 04:09 PM
The Town Talk is my husband's hometown newspaper, such as it is. He says previously his uncle was interviewed because he saw Bigfoot.
Uncle's been drinking on that story ever since.
Posted by: LeeAnn | October 18, 2004 at 04:21 PM
It is unknown if the tiger escaped or was set free.
Well, if there are "Missing" posters, featuring pictures of a tiger, tacked up all over the place, that would indicate "escaped"; if a guy who used to have a tiger suddenly doesn't have a tiger anymore, then maybe "set free" is the way to look.
Posted by: Lairbo | October 18, 2004 at 04:29 PM
If the Army can't find a Tiger on their own base is it any wonder they can't find WMD? What there were no WMD? Well maybe there was no tiger? Maybe all there ever was was a leash in a tree.
Posted by: Mad Scientist | October 18, 2004 at 04:32 PM
I think that it wasn't a real tiger that was spotted, but rather an alien being who thought that he would be inconspicuous disguised as a tiger. Now he's safely back on the mother ship.
Posted by: Jessica R. | October 18, 2004 at 05:06 PM
"Life is going back to normal" -- for us. You people on the other side of the Army grounds, however, well...don't forget to watch your back!
Posted by: Corn | October 18, 2004 at 05:19 PM
Vernon Parish sheriff's Chief Investigator Marvin Hilton said...
Everybody else has counties, but Louisiana has parishes. They deserve the tiger.
Posted by: Monsoon | October 18, 2004 at 06:24 PM
I was born at Fort Polk. It's 6 miles east of Texas, 60 miles NW of Shreveport and considered the asshole of the entire Army. I left when I was 3 days old and never looked back.
Posted by: Sondr | October 18, 2004 at 07:44 PM
The Advanced Infantry Training School at Fort Polk, Louisiana's infamous "Tigerland", was the last stop before Vietnam for thousands of young men, myself included.
Posted by: Tom | October 18, 2004 at 08:16 PM
The hell with the tiger... where's Jacki Lippman?
Posted by: mudstuffin | October 18, 2004 at 08:47 PM
tee hee... tuna fish sandwiches. I love Hobbes. But other tigers work their way into my worst nightmares.
Posted by: blurker | October 18, 2004 at 08:54 PM
OK, first a hyena then a tiger. Give me a break, no self-respecting tiger would be seen on a military base! Maaaa! Somebody's been paintin' the gators again. Now where'd I leave that leash...
Posted by: Kinkymomma | October 18, 2004 at 11:18 PM
Oh, did you say leg? Well, there might have been a leg layin' about in there.
Tiger cereal is good to eat
Even real tigers prefer it over meat
Posted by: Christobol | October 19, 2004 at 05:10 AM
Maybe he's hiding out on his yacht in Puerto Rico.
Posted by: Zaphod | October 19, 2004 at 05:32 AM
Crunchy and tasty with ketchup, try the military!
They're Grrrrrrrrrrreat!
Posted by: Federal Duck | October 19, 2004 at 05:35 AM
Let's call teh French. They probably won;t find the tiger, but maybe they'll find a large-ish striped house cat...
Posted by: Flukey | October 19, 2004 at 06:05 AM
Reminds me of when a Draft notice was sent to B. Bunny ...
Wonder if one's been sent to T. Tiger now?
Posted by: MOTW | October 19, 2004 at 06:08 AM
Fort Polk Tiger
anagrams ==>
got pork lifter?
tiger fork plot
forgot pelt irk
lo, frog tit perk
Posted by: MOTW | October 19, 2004 at 06:21 AM
MOTW: frogs don't have tits
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | October 19, 2004 at 06:24 AM
Lairbo - you listed several possiblities "It is unknown if the tiger escaped or was set free.
Well, if there are "Missing" posters, featuring pictures of a tiger, tacked up all over the place, that would indicate "escaped"; if a guy who used to have a tiger suddenly doesn't have a tiger anymore, then maybe "set free" is the way to look."
I'd like to add one more - if the guy who used to have the tiger isn't around any more, and neither is his tiger, "escaped after lunch".
Posted by: jamester | October 19, 2004 at 06:27 AM
MKJ - and you know this how ...?
Posted by: MOTW | October 19, 2004 at 06:32 AM
Tom, the base is known as "Tigerland"??? Are we sure they didn't just lose their mascot and are now trying to pin the blame elsewhere?
Posted by: rhealist | October 19, 2004 at 07:28 AM
If frogs don't have teats where does the glue come from? Huh?
Posted by: PETER | October 19, 2004 at 07:48 AM
jamester
That would explain that leash somebody found in a tree.
Posted by: Lairbo | October 19, 2004 at 08:27 AM
Mad - maybe the tiger's name is Osama.
Posted by: brat | October 19, 2004 at 08:40 AM
Osama-bin-kitten?
Posted by: PeeJay | October 19, 2004 at 08:46 AM
Fort Polk is at the arse end of the earth! I had to go there a few weeks ago for work. By the time i got there, i was hoping the tiger would maul me to death. :)
Posted by: flamingsquirrel | October 19, 2004 at 11:04 AM
[Imagines MKJ's "quest"--even the frogs were checked!]
Posted by: Deontologist | October 19, 2004 at 11:23 AM
drill sergeant: now the first you do, when you are being stalked by an ugly mob wielding red currants is ... release the tiger !
(courtesy Dave's pal John Cleese)
Posted by: insomniac | October 19, 2004 at 01:05 PM
oops! make that the first thing you do...
Posted by: insomniac | October 19, 2004 at 01:06 PM
Judging from the Cook Some Rice art show in the Blue Moon Guest House in Lafayette - and the rumored demise of certain moose and rhinoceros escapees...
I'd say that tiger is part of a delicious gumbo somewhere in the Fort Polk area.
Posted by: pelagicsal | October 19, 2004 at 02:27 PM
Peter, there ARE other orifices on a frog.
Just sayin.'
Posted by: Targetgirl | October 20, 2004 at 06:03 AM