MISLEADING HEADLINE OF THE MONTH
(Thanks to Dennis Gamble)
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October 06, 2004
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BOOOOOO. uno
Posted by: queensbee | October 06, 2004 at 07:07 AM
I was wondering what Ron Jeremy was doing in Britain ...
A 15 pound cock ... I hurt just thinking about that.
Posted by: punky brewster | October 06, 2004 at 07:13 AM
Until he decides to kill it and feed it to the dog, of course.
Posted by: penny | October 06, 2004 at 07:15 AM
He must be very proud
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | October 06, 2004 at 07:15 AM
A mutant cock is a sure ticket to your 15 minutes of fame, is all I'm sayin...
Posted by: jamester | October 06, 2004 at 07:17 AM
the way I heard it, Jeremy is the biggest cock in Britian. Least ways that's what his ex tells anyone who will listen down at the pub.
Posted by: Christobol | October 06, 2004 at 07:27 AM
Stupid bird! It's gettin' well nigh on to Thanksgiving, he ought to stop all that growin'!
Posted by: waxwing | October 06, 2004 at 07:28 AM
...the biggest cock in Britain - a 2ft monster which he calls Melvin.
Jeremy is actually an old boyfriend of mine. Ya know, before I met him I didnt' think there was such a thing as too big.
*rubs bruised liver*
I didn't know it was 12 pounds, though. I wonder how they weighed it?
Posted by: Polly | October 06, 2004 at 07:32 AM
Polly ... they grabbed it by the feathers.
Posted by: punky brewster | October 06, 2004 at 07:34 AM
I bet you'd have one hell of a time choking that chicken.
Posted by: punky brewster | October 06, 2004 at 07:37 AM
That must have been very traumatic for Melvin. Did he shrink away in fear?
Posted by: Polly | October 06, 2004 at 07:37 AM
LOL, Punk!
Perhaps they'd do better to cock their rifle...it would be more humane.
Posted by: Polly | October 06, 2004 at 07:40 AM
Or maybe jerkin' the turkey around enough would kill the beast.
Posted by: Polly | October 06, 2004 at 07:45 AM
*Mmmmgggrrppphhh!*
Oooops. Sorry. I was always taught not to talk with my mouth full.
Posted by: Trystan Shout | October 06, 2004 at 07:47 AM
Ouch, guys! That reminds me of the Sex in the City episode where ... well, you know which one.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | October 06, 2004 at 07:49 AM
It pleases me that you watched Sex in the City, Jeff. :)
Posted by: punky brewster | October 06, 2004 at 07:50 AM
Thank You
Posted by: Jeremy | October 06, 2004 at 07:51 AM
No, Jeremy ... thank you
Posted by: punky brewster | October 06, 2004 at 08:17 AM
If you combine the headline with judi's post, you get:
Jeremy has the biggest cock in Britain (Thanks to Dennis Gamble)
Sorry Dennis, I just had to post that. I promise it will never happen again, maybe.
Posted by: SteveB | October 06, 2004 at 08:17 AM
That is one Hell of an Uber Winky.
Posted by: Uberwinky | October 06, 2004 at 08:27 AM
What time is it? It's time for a random ramparts auction!
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | October 06, 2004 at 08:28 AM
If that Romanian guy had that chicken, he might not have made that tragic mistake.
Posted by: slyeyes | October 06, 2004 at 08:38 AM
Oh dear...the blogettes are running arounded cock-eyed at this story. A few more thoughts and they will soon be half-cocked. ;)
Posted by: outside observer | October 06, 2004 at 08:53 AM
Mahatma thanks. That should help balance this thread. She actually deserves to be mentioned with this giant cock. I wonder how much money she made for this modelling job.
Posted by: kingw | October 06, 2004 at 08:58 AM
Punky, always happy to please you.
Mahatma, nice neck.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | October 06, 2004 at 09:11 AM
SchadeBoy: you should know by now that there is no such thing as too far off topic here.
I loved the way the headline just said "Jeremy" as if he were Madonna or (God forbid) Cher. Or better yet, Punky or Bangi.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | October 06, 2004 at 09:13 AM
Thanks ShadeB, I will wear that trick or treating
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | October 06, 2004 at 09:17 AM
SchadeBoy - Of course not! You're supposed to put the bottom half on your head, tie the top half as loosely as possible, and prance around shouting 'I AM FUZZY AND BLUE! WHO WANTS TO GIVE ME A KISS?'
Posted by: penny | October 06, 2004 at 09:39 AM
Melvin is an interesting "pet name" for a cock.
Posted by: crash | October 06, 2004 at 09:42 AM
I don't go for fuzzy
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | October 06, 2004 at 09:48 AM
I'm not a big fan of fuzzy either ...
Good thing ... otherwise my esthetician would be out of business.
Posted by: punky brewster | October 06, 2004 at 09:52 AM
I don't do sparklies or fuzzy, either. I'm into cotton panties, myself.
Actually, I prefer it if my wife is in them. If I get in them, she gives me this really funny look and backs away slowly...
Posted by: SchadeBoy | October 06, 2004 at 09:57 AM
Ok, hands up. Who clicked "view seller's other auctions" for Mahatma Kane Jeeves' random ramparts auction?
Posted by: Bluefish | October 06, 2004 at 10:04 AM
I didn't think to, but now that you mention it...
Posted by: Mike Weasel | October 06, 2004 at 10:08 AM
Quick! Spell-check, and hurry!
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | October 06, 2004 at 10:17 AM
Yikes... they're also selling a STAR WARS TRILONGY VHS VEDIO
Posted by: Leetie | October 06, 2004 at 10:24 AM
Bet you didn't know 'Naive' Americans had dance fans
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | October 06, 2004 at 10:28 AM
What cracks me up is the descriptions of the guitar parts. They always start with "You are looking at a such-and-such" and I'm saying, "Oh no I'm not!!"
Posted by: Mike Weasel | October 06, 2004 at 10:33 AM
MKJ
Used to perform the fandango, no doubt.
Posted by: markhh | October 06, 2004 at 10:37 AM
"what you are looking at..."
My ramparts (foot).
Posted by: crash | October 06, 2004 at 10:50 AM
Here's a Rare and Lifelike Old Jade Girl created by laborious and sapiential Chinese people
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | October 06, 2004 at 11:26 AM
Mahatma I wonder if this "woman" has an air guitar for display?
Posted by: kingw | October 06, 2004 at 11:43 AM
Hi Peri ... nice to see you here. :)
Posted by: punky brewster | October 06, 2004 at 12:04 PM
MKJ:
You must have a great deal of time on your hands to be able to find such wonderful items for bid on EBAY. Do you search for "ramparts"?
Posted by: Jeff | October 06, 2004 at 12:05 PM
Jeff - naw, e-Bay just knows him by login name and dishes it up!
Posted by: MOTW | October 06, 2004 at 12:12 PM
Hi, Peri.
If we change that around just a tad, here's what I see - Jeremy runs MOUNTfitchet castle in stansted, esSEX, where MELVIN lives with his MATE Mandy.
Posted by: MOTW | October 06, 2004 at 12:15 PM
Hmmm and I was always told that steroids made the cock smaller .
Posted by: Mr.Fisher | October 06, 2004 at 12:22 PM
Jeff: I don't think 'ramparts' would get the desired result.
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | October 06, 2004 at 01:03 PM
Psalm 48:13
consider well her ramparts,
view her citadels,
that you may tell of them to the next generation.
Habakkuk 2:1
I will stand at my watch
and station myself on the ramparts;
I will look to see what he will say to me,
and what answer I am to give to this complaint.
Posted by: Bible Scholar | October 06, 2004 at 01:36 PM
Skala - them's more like citadels than ramparts, yessir...
Posted by: Bible Thumper | October 06, 2004 at 01:55 PM
Sub-editors are my favorite people.
Posted by: Jeremy | October 06, 2004 at 02:33 PM
I thought the accepted term was Morton, not Melvin. I'm so confused.
Posted by: Mike Weasel | October 06, 2004 at 02:43 PM
way to go dick wings!
what?
Posted by: jason | October 06, 2004 at 02:49 PM
Bible scholar is right: those ramparts are big enough to stand on.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | October 06, 2004 at 03:44 PM
omfg
Posted by: Psycho_Joe | October 06, 2004 at 04:44 PM
Well, that story is an interesting titbit of British journalism.
Posted by: Monsoon | October 06, 2004 at 05:41 PM
Yes Joshkr, that's backwards. It's two shrubs are better than kaka on your hand.
Posted by: Christobol | October 07, 2004 at 05:03 AM
Why does a chicken wear his underwear on his head?
so no one can see his pecker!
Posted by: Charlotte | October 08, 2004 at 05:21 AM
"My 15 pound cock's name is Melvin, and he's bigger than all of my frien's cocks. I'm very proud of him." would be a bad pickup line.
Posted by: datdat | October 09, 2004 at 03:07 PM