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October 18, 2004

AN EXAMPLE OF A LINK THAT MEN SHOULD NOT CLICK ON

...can be found here.

("Thanks" to Claire Martin, a woman)

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Firstteenth?

FORGOT IT?!?!?!?!

Ouch, I hate when that happens.

*voice over*
Wiener, don't leave home without it!

Doctor: Did you bring your penis with you?

Patient: (Pats pockets) Oh rats. I think I left it in my other pants.

Key Quote: "Thai hospitals, especially Bangkok's Police hospital, have achieved some fame for their high success rate with penis reattachment operations, providing they are carried out swiftly with all the parts in place."

Does this mean they have ample opportunities to practice this surgery???? BANGKOK, indeed!

"So, how did you end up with a giant squid where your penis is supposed to be, anyways?"

"Funny story..."

Key quote:

"Thai hospitals, especially Bangkok's Police hospital, have achieved some fame for their high success rate with penis reattachment operations, providing they are carried out swiftly with all the parts in place."

High success rate? How many reattachments do they do?

Jeff, Great minds think alike.

*hands Jeff MOATarita*

Gives a whole new meaning to Pongalee. A good name for a band that has no drumsticks. Just a drummer.

MUSIC REVIEW:

Penis Reattachment Operations, better known as PRO, celebrated their latest CD release this past Saturday.

Talented and on the rise - ONCE AGAIN - this band will be around for a very long time to come.

...and now playing at the Bangkok drive-in-- "Grease":

"We go together, like my new Bangramrung hospital dinga kading-a-dong
Remember forever, husband Sorn-lam Yot-ban-ya and wife Rung-n-a-pha Pong-a-lee
Chang-chang Chonburi, I have a new way I pee, wahoo yeah!"

Given the apparent surgical skill of Thai hospitals, if Thai women got a little better with their knife-wielding, pretty soon they could have the balls in the family.

Lube: I can't carry a tune if it has a handle, it took me a a while, but *laying on the floor laughing* now.

Doctor: So, what seems to the problem today?

Patient: Aw, you know, same old same old. Wife cut my penis off again.

Doctor: Again! That's like, twenty-six times. Why don't you leave her?

Patient: She makes really good soup.

Doctor: Oh. This is gonna sting...

Patient: Yeah yeah

Lou Bricant, That song is brilliant!

Note to unfaithful husbands: Don't fall asleep with your irate wife in the house. She has been chopping vegetables and stewing (pun intended) about your cheating all day, and she STILL has that knife!

Looks like his dog will have something to snack on when he gets back from the hospital...

LOL, jeff, yeah. and you too, slyeyes. bwahha. so what is this dope gonna do for a winkie now? are there transplants, esp since this hospital has such a high rate of success, etc....??

and, uh, how did you lose your johnson, sir?
uh, left it at home......

They should move to the banana republic!

For some reason the song "Chopping Brocolli" is running around in my head, now.

Thanks Schade. Now it's running around mine too.

I bet the mistress is pretty pissed off now.

Just as well, damned thing brought me nothing but trouble anyway...

Things I couldn't help but notice:

After the article has mentioned the high rate of penis removals and reattachments in the greater Bangkok area (puns abound), the page contains the following links:

1. For airlines, so you too can visit this wonderful little chunk of paradise and possibly get your penis cut off.
2. For hotels, in case you get thrown out of your house after cutting your husband's penis off.
3. For blogs, so that you can spread the word about people getting their penises cut off.
4. For "find a date," in case your last relationship was cut short (yeah, I said it) by an unfortunate penis cutting
5. To the left of the article, there is a column entitled, "Fraser's Razor." (I refuse to click on this link).

As long as we don't see men who are faithful to their wives get their penis cut off, I still feel safe. :)

"He went to bed and was rudely awoken hours later when his wife sliced off his member".

Definitely rudely.

*Scratches Thailand off travel list*

Hmmm, I bet they don't do that sort of thing in Nova Scrotia! *adds to list*

"Thai hospitals, especially Bangkok's Police hospital, have achieved some fame for their high success rate with penis reattachment operations..."

Perhaps a better name for the city would be "Chopkok."

I read about a similar incident in Bangkok where not only did the woman chop off her husband's penis, but tied it to a helium balloon and set it loose. Hell hath no fury .....

A ritual in Bangkok:

Woman ties penis to balloon, let's it go reciting: "If you love someone let them go. If they come back it was meant to be. If not then their love was never yours to begin with."

Watches balloon and penis drift away.

"Son of a gun, it wasn't meant to be."

Q: How do u circumcise a redneck?

A: kick his sister in the jaw

Remember folks, like the man on the TV says:

"Don't leave home without it!"

Ross

"He went to bed and was rudely awoken hours later when his wife sliced off his member".

There is a polite way to do this?
"Excuse me dear, but I'm really upset about your mistress, do you mind if I sharpen my chopping knife on your penis"
"Not at all sweetie, so glad you are taking this so well. Are we having chopped eel for dinner?"

How much do you think the wife tipped the nurse to take her time getting back with the missing member?

"Doc, can you please re-member me?"
"Sure, if only you had remembered to bring your dong along!"

My husband just came home from a trip admitting to an affair and saying he wants a divorce "Next year" hmmm this gives me a whole year to get thr knives to the sharpening guy!

My husband just came home from a trip admitting to an affair and saying he wants a divorce "Next year" hmmm this gives me a whole year to get thr knives to the sharpening guy!

Peter....Nope....can't recall anyone losing a...ahem...member in this province. It's pretty safe...come on and visit us here in Nova Scotia.

lol I like the one about Bankok singing in Grease...how u changed the song like that...hehe

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Oh sorry that was just my inner voice screaming cause i chopped his off a week ago...:P
he was being a pervert and wouldnt stop looking at me in the mirror!
(yes I am a girl...my reall name is Joanna but i prefere to be called jojo:D )

I know, I know, it's definitely the wrong attitude for the Dave Barry blog, but it is interesting that a wife chopping off a husband's penis is still an occasion for a jokefest, but a husband chopping off, say, one of an unfaithful wife's nipples would be...oh, I don't know...a horrific act of sexual mutilation, maybe?

And remember the angry wife who ran over her cheating husband several times with her Mercedes? That was pretty damn funny, too. Though maybe it would have been funnier if she had cut off his penis, squished it with the Mercedes, and then when the bleeding husband ran out, THEN she could have run the rest of him over a few times. She really missed the max humor potential, I think. And man--can you believe they convicted her?

I might be just as funny if he had cut her clitoris off.

dick chopping....it's a good thing. more women should do it.

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