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September 23, 2004

WHY WE LOVE TO BE ON BOOK TOUR IN LOS ANGELES

This morning on the TV news they had a lengthy segment about a guy who gives massages to dogs.

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Do we dare ask what bit he massages??

How much does a good dog massage go for these days?

Woof! Woof!
(heavy breathing)

I thought yew sayd thet yewr dog does not bite!

That is not my dog.

I don't have a dog anymore. Had the dog from hell last summer for three months. He chewed up 5 pairs of shoes, baseboards, drywall (thru to the studs), anything and everything but the Kongs we had for him.

While attending a Petsmart doggie obedience class, the instructor showed us how to massage our dogs, using her Mastiff as a subject. She said it's a good time to find out if there are any skin or bone problems, and she recommended doing this daily as part of the dog's grooming routine.

Does this guy give ego massages to celebrities' dogs, too?

No Tina, it's when you masturbate caged animals for spite that you endanger your soul.

Does he mean "dog massager" as in "foot massager"?

Cause my "dawgs" have been barking all day. :(

Stupid dress shoes.

I hate being a girl sometimes!

I did the petsmart obdience class with my dog as well and we were also taught the art of puppy-sage. Frankly, my dog was pretty relaxed to begin with and by the end of the lesson she was virtually out cold. I can't imagine what circumstance would inspire me to pay some guy to essentially pat my dog for 20 minutes.

As a side note, I do think this would be a handy skill for burglars to have though. Imagine a growling Fido instantly turned to cuddly mushball in mere minutes. Of course many burglars would argue that a brick could have much the same effect.

*at the Petsmart*

"Can I help you sir?"
"I'm here for the dog massaging thingy."
"I see... and the oils, and whipped cream, and passion fruit?"
"Duh. Massage thingy?"
"Sir... did you even bring a dog?"
"Was I supposed to?"

dog massaging? That hasn't shown up in Texas yet...well maybe in Dallas.

What? No snake stories?

Dave - We Love LA too. See you tonight!!!

Dog Massages? Dog Motels?

The only think keeping this place from totally going to the Dogs is the Cat Resturant!

Gawd! What next?!!

dawg massaging therapists wbagnfarb

In case you're (not your) wondering, I regularly receive a wonerful Swedish massage from Inga, the viking amazon woman. Its truly wonerful wonerful. But the best part about being a dog is that I can return the favor and give her a quick rampart massage without getting arrested, or even slapped. But my paws (not pause) are a little on the rough side... Inga likey.

My cousin is a horse massager here in Ohio.She is different...

Hot dog!

I don't think I can add much, so I won't say anything.

Tina: (shakes magic 8-ball) "Yes, most definitely"

Actually, I just thought of something to say.

I think pet massages are fine. What I get a kick out of are pet psychologists.

And now the scene from "Down and Out in Beverly Hills" is running through my head:

Pet Psychologist: Such a lovely dog. Yes you are. Such a lovely dog.

That scene was hillarious.

It's like the French guy who was visiting the US,
and his friend took him to a hot dog stand for lunch.
The French guy asked:
"Qu’est que c’est, ce "hot dog ?"
His friend translated: "Chien chaud"
"Oh ! . . . Quelle partie t’as eu, toi ?"


(=Which part did you get?)

I wonder if the dogs tip well...

Not as well as cows ... but funny, nevertheless.

Punky - have a moatarita on me, that was too funny.

punky: have another, on me (they're small)

I'll bet that lots of this guy's clients wear dirndls.

Punky was doing body shots? Missed it.

Well, if the dogs are getting good massages, the least they can do it sniff this out as long as they are at it.

or maybe

this

So when dogs lick their crotches and then try to give you a big wet smooch, they're really just trying to say, "Hey, I'm cancer free! See?"

Crap... wrong article...

MW
Wrong article or no, if a dog sniffs out cancer in time to treat it, that pooch deserves all the massaging it can handle.

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