THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY: SERIOUS RESEARCHERS WHOSE DISCOVERIES WILL HELP MANKIND, OR PRANKSTERS PUT ON THIS EARTH TO MAKE DOGS MISERABLE?
(Thanks to Ol' Chumbucket)
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(Thanks to Ol' Chumbucket)
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These are the same dogs that eat other dog’s puke and poop, right?
And how do you know if they are sniffing out cancer or asparagus?
I need more info before I fire my doctor and hire Lassie for my annual physicals.
Posted by: punky brewster | September 24, 2004 at 06:51 AM
Make dogs miserable? I can't think of ANYTHING disgusting enough that my dog wouldn't gladly smell it, then eat it.
I always thought dogs were being rude and intrusive when they crammed their noses in my crotch. Now I see that they were only trying to help.
Posted by: mudstuffin | September 24, 2004 at 06:55 AM
Here lassie - you say you smell cancer, where, where... oh puleeeeez
Posted by: queensbee | September 24, 2004 at 06:56 AM
This is probably the same British Centre that trained dogs to detect upcomng seizures in their owners.
I saw an after school special on it.
It actually appeared to work. While demonstrating the dogs ability to a woman, on camera, she went into a seizure and the dog had made that prediction.
Cats, however, have NO chance of doing this. They'd much rather worry about where their next meal was coming from than a humans health....
Posted by: kibby F5 | September 24, 2004 at 06:59 AM
So - they get right answer 41% of the time and that's supposed to be GOOD?
Doctor: I'm afraid you have bladder cancer.
Patient: Oh no! Are you sure?
Doctor: As sure as science allows. Snoopy laid down next to your urine, and usually that's bad.
Patient: Usually?
Doctor: Well, lots of times it's been bad. Sometimes it just means you ate something funny, or that Snoopy got tired of sniffing urine. Plus sometimes I'm convinced he's deliberately throwing us off, some kind of dog rebellion thingy. Anyways, far as I know, you're very ill.
Patient: What should I do?
Doctor: Well, if you mix some Pabst Blue Ribbin in with your pee, Snoopy tends to ignore it.
Patient: And that will cure my cancer?
Doctor>/b>: Far as I know.
Posted by: Christobol | September 24, 2004 at 07:00 AM
"Sigh...It wasn't supposed to be like this. I wanted to be a famous world-champion Frisbee catcher...I had my sights set on that. But nooooooo, I'm a pee-sniffer."
Posted by: Corn | September 24, 2004 at 07:04 AM
DaMMit!
Posted by: Christobol | September 24, 2004 at 07:06 AM
I was giving my dog a massage the other day when his ears perked up and he led me, Lassie style, to the bathroom. Using a form of animal sign language I've been developing during breaks from my macaroni art and glue sniffing enterprises, he instructed me to make weewee. After sniffing it, he informed me that I have toenail cancer and should inform my podiatrist immediately.
Catastrophe averted!
Neener.
Posted by: Federal Duck | September 24, 2004 at 07:07 AM
Ah, dogs smell wee-wee all the time - for them, this is like shooting pool or playing darts - it's their hobby...
Posted by: Higgy | September 24, 2004 at 07:13 AM
slyeyes already posted this yesterday
Posted by: MOTW | September 24, 2004 at 07:15 AM
Woodstock: How was your day?
Snoopy: Stupid humans made me smell pee all day
Woodstock: Why'd they make you do that?
Snoopy: Beats the heck out of me ... but everytime I had an itch and scratched behind my ear, the naked guy in the paper robe would start to cry ... so I started scratching just for the hell of it ... got kinda fun
Woodstock: I'll never understand humans. Let's go poop in their shoes!
Posted by: snoopy | September 24, 2004 at 07:15 AM
Will insurance pay for this?
Posted by: Cheesewiz | September 24, 2004 at 07:23 AM
"I need more info before I fire my doctor and hire Lassie for my annual physicals." LOL, Punky.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | September 24, 2004 at 07:27 AM
LOL Punky & Mudstuffin - thankfully I was between latte sips.
Posted by: iolite | September 24, 2004 at 07:45 AM
"As a group, the dogs correctly selected bladder cancer samples on 22 out of 54 occasions."
We should hound the labs for better results. Canis be the best answer we have? Urine a world of hurt if 41% is good, boy.
Posted by: Brainy Jello | September 24, 2004 at 07:49 AM
MOTW: you've gotta be kidding me.
Posted by: judi | September 24, 2004 at 07:53 AM
So when a dog licks his crotch and then tries to give you a big wet sloppy smooch, he's just trying to say "Hey, look, I'm cancer free!"
Posted by: Mike Weasel | September 24, 2004 at 08:00 AM
Good lookin' out, Ol' Chumbucket!
Posted by: Mike Weasel | September 24, 2004 at 08:23 AM
Just think: if they would train Labrador Retrievers, they could file the claim as a lab report!
* ducks *
Posted by: MOTW | September 24, 2004 at 08:30 AM
This reminds me of the joke where the guy goes to the doctor, gets sniffed over by a dog, then a cat, and is then charged several hundred dollars for the "lab test" and "cat scan."
Will we soon be getting our annual physicals done by a chicken from the other side of the road?
Posted by: cherie | September 24, 2004 at 08:32 AM
judi, it was the last comment and no one was going to notice it (no offense, slyeyes), so I'm glad you posted it today! :)
Posted by: MOTW | September 24, 2004 at 08:32 AM
* gasps as she thinks about asking the Subservient Chicken for a medical examination *
Posted by: MOTW | September 24, 2004 at 08:45 AM
"As a group, the dogs correctly selected bladder cancer samples on 22 out of 54 occasions."
Hmmm...obviously these dogs were chosen because of their experience as part of the QA team for Windows XP Service Pack 2 !
Posted by: ServiceThisPack | September 24, 2004 at 09:27 AM
Ooooh-and when they are done the can check this out ! Canine Cinema
Posted by: doggystyle | September 24, 2004 at 09:31 AM
Ooooh-and when they are done the can check this out ! Canine Cinema
Posted by: doggystyle | September 24, 2004 at 09:34 AM
You guys are complaining that they only got it 50% of the time? I want to see YOU recognizing bladder cancer in 22 out of 54 samples of urine with only your nose, bucko.
Posted by: Zaratustra | September 25, 2004 at 10:17 AM
"The average success rate was 41 per cent, compared with the 14 per cent that would have been expected by chance alone."
Um . . . I don't know about you, but them's not too good odds IMHO. Think I'll go back to reading chicken entrails.
Posted by: Lmd33 | September 25, 2004 at 10:21 AM