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September 25, 2004



Good name for a rock band.


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Someone turned off my oven, removed it, and erected a shrine to the slide-rule in its place.

I just sneezed. I hope I'm not turning into a Giant Frog. I'd miss sex. A lot.


I know, Lab, that's why the :) up there.

My microwave is one of those little-tiny-not-even-full-power things. It actually has a dial instead of a digital display. My mom gave it to me for Christmas in 1987. I've had several people try to convince me to go buy a new one, but it still works great; it cooks the food, and that's all I ask of a microwave.

Neo, I totally agree. As long as it works... Jackie has been bugging me to get a new one because they're cheap, it's a matching color for the kitchen, etc. But the one we have works perfectly well.

Similarly, she's worried that she won't be able to get a new Worldwide VCR if the one we have breaks down so wanted to buy a backup on amazon for $300+ "just in case". I don't think so.

B and I went to an orchard this weekend. There was a petting zoo.

Only, you could not pet the animals. Instead, you fed them through a PVC pipe by dropping the feed into one end of the pipe and watch it roll into their dishes.

It was sad.

I was told there would be no math.

how do you get a coconut to cream?

squeeze it, rub it, tease it?

So did B make it up to you by doing the petting himself? We want details. Slowly, please.

Jeff, can you explain what the QB rating is now, please? Is a low number good or bad?

We were at a petting zoo too! It had llamas, sheep, goats, a bunny pen, some cow thingies, fancy chickens, and a donkey.

I want a bunny pen.

Jeff, my eyes glazed over at add the number of wins the second place team.

Do you plan to keep bunnies in it leetie? or random small children?

Do you suppose a coconut screams when you cream it? or is it more of a moan?

DDi ~ details. especially if the petting of you involved chocolate somehow.

Me and Bobby McGee - yay Susan.

And I can understand it without doing math - yay me.

Bunnies would be the general idea. :)

Quick, for both of the prizes, and all of the money, who wrote "Me and Bobby McGee"? Closest without going over wins

She blew her nose again.


I got to pet a bunny last weekend. I was in a pet store to get bedding and food for my daughters mouse...and they had bunnies. Some very noisy birds that I didn't pet as well...also a couple of snakes...

Ooooh...what prizes?

willie nelson

bunnies make me break out in bumps.

"Did you pet the snakes?", he asked naughtily.

No. Not Uncle Willie.

Kris Kristofferson.

What do I win? I hope it doesn't require math, whatever it is.

I'm sorry, El, but the answer we were looking for was "Earned Run Average". Please accept this shrine to Jimmy Buffet as a consolation gift.

Thank you, and we'll see you tomorrow on "Dice, or No Dice". I'm your host, Billy Joel. Goodnight.

My duckie keeps lighting up.
Just thought you might want to know that.

Please, wolfie, tell us what you had for lunch. I can't live another moment without knowing.


*zips out to find FIRST grade math workbook*

Well Lab.. just for you..
I had a yogurt. Boysenberry, fruit on the bottom type. I think the berries were grown on a mountainside in Montana, but I can't be sure without wiki-ing it and frankly, I'm just too lazy, but they tasty montana-ee. It was a dannon yogurt, with an expiration date of October 14, 2006 and after thorough sniffing, I concluded it might indeed still be fresh enough to eat. So I did. By the forkful, because I forgot to bring a spoon and straws don't work well with lumpy yogurt. I may be able to suck a tennis ball thru a straw, but sucking a boysenberry chunk thru the same straw is a talent which eludes me to this day.
I was slightly disappointed in the taste, but the color (a pretty off-purple) was lovely. Now I'm having a bottle of water.
Poland Spring.

Lab. I did not pet any snakes at the pet store. I also did not pet the tarantulas. If they had any, they have before but I wasn't looking too closely.

Yogurt...hmmm. I think I have some at home that has perhaps not hit it's expiration date yet.

I also have a chunk of tuna I grilled last night. Lunchtime!

Oh. The playlist.

Monday 10-2-06 All Request Lunch Hour
“Rock The Casbah” The Clash
“I.G.Y.” Donald Fagen
“You Are The Woman” Firefall
“Islands In The Stream” Kenny Rogers/Dolly Parton
“Gypsy” Fleetwood Mac
“Spanish Harlem” Aretha Franklin---Beverly
“Chevy Van” Sammy Johns
“Desperado” Eagles
“Me And Bobby McGee” Janis Joplin
“Island Girl” Elton John
“American Girl” Tom Petty
“On The Dark Side” John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band

Ah, Poland Spring! That's the best! They harvest it in Poland in the spring time, while it's at its peak of freshness!

Did you ask around for a spoon? Maybe somebody is like me, and has a box full of plastic ware at work, but lacks some other item. You could have bartered for a spoon, offering a sample-sized dental floss, or a spare tampon.

Just some friendly advice!

Well, if one of the guys I worked with was willing to trade for a tampon, it might concern me.
Also, what would be the fun in that? I enjoy martyr wayyyy more.
And I don't share my dental floss. I hoard it. I'm making a giant ball someday I hope to get into the world recordbook.
I might have been able to make a trade with the large hairy spider, but frankly, that thing scares me.

How does someone scratch an itch way up in their nose? Without getting caught and thought to be a public nose picker?

You scream, "OMG! There is a large, hairy spider up my nose! I'm going in after it! Avert your eyes!"

I am SO good at this advice thing.

And, about the guys and tampons thing: Let's say I'm a guy. And let's say I have a lot of spoons, but no tampons. Well, the next time I'm trying to barter with someone, all I'll have to offer is spoons. What if that person doesn't need spoons? It's good to diversify, so I'd trade for the tampon just in case. You know?

Would be blown by my giggles. I can't say the 'a' word without giggling.
See? Watch.

I just ate an M&M. If you only 1, does it still count as an M&M? Or did I simply eat an M?

Last time I broke out in bunny bumps, I played connect the dots with a sharpie. I made several zodiac signs. I thought it was funny. My doctor, not so much.

Next time draw the Virgin Mary. Doctors always find that funny!

Trade you a box of tampons for the remains of my lawn gnome?

Gnome bits made a good addition to pecan pies. (the kind with the apples and no pecans) Crunchy things rock!

Whats the best medium to draw her? Nutella or strawberry jam?
Now I can go pet a bunny to test the theory.

Strawberry jam. It makes for better licking later, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

I have three dozen boxes already. Got any snow peas? I'm fresh out. And you have have the garden gnome bits (gnfarb) (and also The Wench's nickname for... well... you know).

The contractors should be here in an hour to refill the hole in the yard. I told them they could dig the dirt from Wolfie's yard. Mmmkay?

I've got to start writing these phrases down:
That's too far from the pig.
Sorry my boobs are no fun.
My duckie is lit up.

Later licking? You're quite a bit more bendy than I gave you credit for. I on the other hand, need a few more yoga classes to approach that ability.

I'm fresh outta snow peas. I have ginger and several varieties of peppers. And one misshappen zucchini.

Or I'll trade you 3 bags of spinach for 3 plastic forks and one chopstick.

Tell the contractors they have to mow the lawn before they dig it up. k? A bit of light weeding wouldnt go amiss either.

OK. It's time for mid-morning graham crackers and milk and then we'll proceed with our math homework.

I hope everyone completed their assignment.

My duckie has not lit up lately.
I might have to get upset about that later.
My boobs are fun. I'd offer to let you borrow them, but you tend to break toys. I've heard stories ya know.

Can I have chocolate covered crackers please El?

Here ya go, wolfie.

But you have to drink your

milk, and no blowing bubbles!

I just got my monitor replaced, and this one sucks. I can't get a good picture on it. Bleh.

*blows a square*
The bubble, not the dude. Even I have my standards.

Marie... if you compare yourself to other people, and consider yourself less or inadequate because you haven't achieved what they have, you'll never be happy just to be yourself. Sure.. a former classmate is a first year med student, and good for them, but you've achieved a lot in the same time, lived all over the world and you're studying to be a translator. I don't think s/he would say "She's learning 7 bazillion languages and studying to be a translator? She should be trying harder!" Be proud of yourself for what you've achieved and look how far you've come. There's a lot of things that you can and have done that others here have not, but that doesn't make any of us less or worse than you. There's things you haven't done that others have, and you don't (or shouldn't) compare yourself negatively to the others here. So don't worry about what others are doing.. look it up purely for entertainment value, but don't do it if it's going to constantly make you degrade yourself.

Jeff.. Karin Slaughter as well.. *sob*
The Authormatic was fun.. kinda like AutoDave without the boogers. Who knew you could kill someone by bashing them in the nasal hairs with a box of frozen spinach. Apparently, it can be done.

Jackie & I may not agree on corporal punishment, but I'm totally with her on Bush. Jackass. So I should be safe...

Wolfie - the doodle thing was fun. Every time I moved the pen, it started rotating the doodle, though.. I was just trying to add bits...

Di - back in the day (yes, a bajillion years ago, when I was a child) the local wildlife park would involve the visitors in the lion feedings. Originally, you could drive your car into the lion feeding area, then they'd bring in the lions and the keepers would feed them from a metal cage on the back of a truck. But people started doing dumb things like winding down their windows because the car was too hot.. while the lions were still wandering around. So they canned that, and did the PVC feed pipe thing.. you could get a piece of meat, drop it down the pipe and watch the lions eat it. But several dumbasses (despite large posted signs and the keepers' supervision) would stick their hand down the pipe and someone got bitten. I say that's a survival of the fittest-type thing, but not everyone agrees.. now you can stand outside the (two layers of) fencing around the lion enclosure and watch while the keepers feed them. For $12, you can ride in the cage on the back of the truck with the keepers and help feed the animals.. but mostly you get to watch.

Exploding Garden Gnomes WBAGNFA Punk RB.

ooh.. bubble guy is kinda hot.. in a "it's an adult blowing bubbles*" kinda way

*not the chimp

I know I shouldn't, Kaf, but I do it anyway. *shrug*

Road trip to Kaf's local zoo?

Is "fresh yogurt" a contradiction in terms?

Can a tampon be used to get an itch WAAAAAAY up your nose? In any event, I'd pay to see anyone try it.

I hate spiders.

Do the math, there is no #3.

....oh, yeah, and this:

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ---- STOP THE VIOLENCE IN SCHOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sly... how much?

for MiK (and anyone else who needs a little encouragement)

How far up, Sly? What would happen when the moist enviroment of the nose caused the tampon to expand? Would it block off your oxygen supply? Or cause your head to explode?

Re the nose thing: The mental image of the string hanging out of the nose cracks me up.

Lab: At least as much as a buck fifty.

Tampons are great for packing the nose after injury to stop the bleeding.

you can cut the strings off, but not all the way. Otherwise you might do more injury to the nose trying to remove the tampon. Also be sure to remove the tampon from the applicator first.

ISIANMTU- A friend of mine in college had recently relocated with her family from the Ukraine. Apparently her mother and aunt had never seen a tampon in applicator before and were not aware of how to properly insert things so they left the applicator on. OUCH!!

Lions and double fences = Smart

But I ask you, what did a little old goat ever do to someone? Or a sheep? Are those deadly creatures? Will they "BAAAAH" us to death?

DDi, one word: Salmonella

Sly... a buck fiddy is enough. I have a web cam.

True story: I went to lunch the other day and was waiting for my food - take out. Standing around. This a-hole comes in and orders his sammich. The lady says, "Five fordy."
"Five fordy."
"Yeah. Fordy."
*digging through change*
"ForTy. ForTy. Say, 'ForTy'."
*hand her the money*
"No, I won't."

I hope she spit in his food. No talent ass clown.

I heard they pack your nose with cocaine after a nose job.

You can't get salmonella from a goat, silly. You can only get that from salmon! Right? Right? Of course I'm right.

Seriously? Salmonella?


How in the heck were people catching salmonella by feeding the goats? Licking their hands after feeding them? Making out with Mr. Sheep?

So because people have poor hygiene, the goats must suffer?


Democratic nation? I think not.

There are only two zoos I haven't found depressing: San Diego's (yay, El!), and one outside Buenos Aires whose name I forget.

The entrance fee was high for the Argie one, but well worth it. The place was clean and there were hardly any barriers, so the (herbivore) animals were allowed to mingle freely. You could see the dangerous ones from a wooden platform high above their habitats - no depressing stone walls with wire fences like in the city zoo.

I do prefer aquariums to zoos, though. It must be all the blue.

Regarding Sly's comment... The Amish school shooting was even on TV here in France. The Amish way of living was briefly explained, and then they cut to aerial views of the schoolhouse and the worried parents sitting outside.

sly, were you referring to

My NYT "Breaking News" e-mail says
The suspect was identified as a 32-year-old truck driver.

Awwwwww! I just saw MOTW's link. Thank you! *smooch*

Mmmmmm, honey!

Orana Park is a park, rather than a zoo. There is a lot of fencing in certain areas (lions, tigers etc), but that's just idiot-proofing. Most fencing (except around the big cats and the bird aviaries) is fairly minimal.
Because monkeys are afraid of water, they don't have fencing around their compound. They have a MOAT!

Sly.. I was thinking of non-applicator tampons. Less chance of people being idiots. Well, more idiotic than usual.

can't heinz now, but M.S.Weasel's Ukrainian women reminded me of a Russian friend's father, who unsure as to what to do with mouthwash, gargled and swallowed it. But it had less alcohol in it than vodka did, so he was o.k.

a truck driver who collected mild from nearby farms

Never knew mild was farmed...

Learn something new every day.

I've been through Lancaster county...going to Hershey PA...

A grudge from 20 years ago? Get over it!

Streams, moats and banks are used as barriers

We're a barrier now?

I'm sorry...I'll need some help with the homework.

I had to giggle on the way back into work this afternoon...

It's not every day I see a camel by the highway here in Cheraw...

Not only the Amish school, but there is a lockdown at two schools in Las Vegas today.

STOP!!! IT!!!!

*posting from the teacher's office*

strange name of the day: Talon Haynie

grading stuff is fun! *gag*


I've been to Lancaster County, too.

I'm back, for a moment. Ah yes, remind me to explain how you figure Earned Run Average with nothing more than a pencil and piece of paper.

But where was I?

Oh yes, they had sales in two stores locally of Dannon Fruit on the Bottom yogurt in the last two weeks (10 for something), so I have a shelf full in the refrigerator. But only one of the two stores carries boysenberry, so mostly I have peach and mixed fruit.

/end yogurt update

Back a little later.

Wolfie – doodling – SOOOO cool. So very very cool.

Lab a buck fiddy?... that is sooooo not a good thing to read when your mind is working rather dyslexic-ly. But maybe that was the point...

As my daughter was getting ready to dash out the door this morning, she handed me notes from Friday’s school. (I hadn’t seen her more than 10 minutes since Friday morning.) It seems MY kids’ schools were on a lock down Friday! The note didn’t explain anything. Apparently, somebody made a threat, said he had a hostage, but it must have been a false alarm or surely I would have heard something from somebody over the weekend.

OK, so as I was saying...what the heck was I saying?

Oh yeah, beautiful day here today. But when we were out we saw several police cars racing by. A woman said someone (supposedly, you know how stories spread) tried to rob a bank and was either (a) holed up in a hostage situation or (b) on the run.

Anyway, it didn't make the local news, so I think we can assume the former at least was wrong. They did have the street between 4th & 5th Avenues on 86th Street - the main shopping street in the area, home to Century 21 - closed off, and there was a police copter circling overhead for a long time.

Don't you hate it when you don't know how a story turns out?

Last time I broke out in bunny bumps, I played connect the dots with a sharpie.

Um, bunny bumps? Que?

There are only two zoos I haven't found depressing: San Diego's (yay, El!), and one outside Buenos Aires whose name I forget.

Never been to The Bronx Zoo, Marie?

Definitely not depressing. I agree on San Diego.

Been to Lancaster County too. I just don't understand the story at all. He had a grudge for 20 years about something that happened to him near the school, so he shot 10 girls?

I mean, WTFBBQ?!

What a world, what a world.

I only have vague, hazy memories of the Bronx Zoo, Jeff, so I don't know what my impression of the place was.

I dated a guy who was raised in lancaster. He was definitely broken goods based on a very bad childhood there. I really hope it wasn't him, but I can definitely see how the disconnect might happen.

*pulls her bullet proof blankie over her head and hides under desk*

Mad: The man, identified as Charles Carl Roberts IV, 32, who lived in the area, was evidently nursing a long-ago grievance expressed in notes left for his wife and children, said Jeffrey Miller, commissioner of the state police.

*snork* The Fugly Girls have done it again.

Yes I know it wasn't him Jeff. Just the fact that I was close to someone who was so damaged by his childhood that he might be capable of such a thing. The fact that such violence and evil exists in the world is what I am hiding from.

*goes back under blankie*

YAY! I got posted!! It's been a while. I also sent in this elaborate (but flawed) scheme to avoid paying a speeding ticket.

*peeks under blankie*
Got room under there for one more, Mad?

me too, Mad and neo? please?
It's not a good day.

It's been awhile since I've spent much time on the MB. It's getting to where it's *twitch* werk to keep up. But I'll try to pop over there to see your post about speeding tickets, Sarah. Especially since I've just acquired a traffic ticket of my own. Not for speeding, though. Passing on the shoulder. To get around someone turning left with A LOT of oncoming traffic.

But 'm not bitter. Yet. Talk to me if it ends up that I have to pay what it appears I'll have to pay.

ANYway, how do I like my satellite. LOVING IT!!! And as soon as I get this Pictre-in-picture thing to work, I'll marry it.

Got it! Now I can return Gary's call.


Color me jealous!

I haven't been on the MB much either and I feel bad about it, so I've at least been trying to read Dave and judi's posts, even if I don't read the comments.

sly, I don't know the law in Missouri, but in CA that's legal. Check your vehicle code.

So, how are we going to get DJTony to post here again?


*goes to Ebay and orders tutu, a nice a nice merlot and the best caviar money can buy as bait.

bb, thanks, but in Missouri, it's illegal. NOW I know that. And from the number of drivers this morning passing on the shoulder, I'm one of the few that know.

I'm having it looked into, however.

*leaves a couple of gourmet cookbooks out as Tony-bait.*

I haven't been to Lancaster County, but I have been to Lancaster Park.

It's pouring with rain here.. has been for most of the day.. I think I may be growing gills, which isn't a huge problem in the Moat, but kinda obvious in the real world. It's supposed to stay the same for tomorrow. Bleargh.. and I was going to be taking the kids on a bus trip. That's going to be cancelled at this rate.

I had a very yummy dinner - steak, plus Chinese (WTH)BBQ vegetables and noodles. Now I want to sleeeeeeeep....

Kibby spent a couple unimpressive years in Lancaster Count growing up. Age 2.

Don't seem to have any lingering ill feelings.

*looks at gun rack bolted to the back of his office chair*

Nope, no problems.

Seems kibby's b!tch!ng about FF yesterday paided off. HE WON! ... has no idea how!

DANG!! I was *thisclose* to beating Lab in FF. 94-96.
Kibby, I think FF uses the same brand of "voodoo math" as the MLB when figuring the "magic number".

How's the werk aggravation going?

Werk \\shudder// aggravation decreased greatly after the third pivo. All's fine.

This week's FF update:
1. Area 51 Visitors 4-0-0 1.000 379.00 W-4
2. Charmed Disarmament 3-1-0 .750 334.00 W-1
3. Alhambra Artweasels 2-1-1 .625 287.00 T-1
4. Eager Beavers 2-2-0 .500 355.00 L-1
5. Sly's Guys 2-2-0 .500 321.00 L-2
6. Higgys Handsome Huns 2-2-0 .500 313.00 L-1
7. Mad's Monkeys 2-2-0 .500 287.00 W-1
8. Silvers' Studz 1-2-1 .375 240.00 T-1
9. kibby's krhuisers 1-3-0 .250 256.00 W-1
10. Kaf's Crushers 0-4-0 .000 249.00 L-4

Lab got another scare from Sly (96-94) but stays unbeaten at the top of the heap. Bismuth crushed the Huns 98-52, Mad's Monkeys danced over Kaf's Crushers 81-51 and Kibby did indeed pull out a win (with only one active QB!) over Mr Fisher's Beavers. We also have our first TIE of the season - Mike's Weasels squeaked out 5 points in MNF to tie El's Studz at 66 points!

Good week, everyone!

Only one active Quarter Back?

... now I see the stratagey ...

*goes to sack a Running Back*

*does a happy dance* The day after tomorrow is my birthday!

A Bollywood movie was shown on TV yesterday. Monday night is supposed to be "foreign movie night," but it's really turned into "Bollywood night."

Anyway, this time it was another *snork* plotless masterpiece with Salman Khan. I don't understand why he's so famous. I find him extremely annoying.

The "plot" consisted of two guys getting their best friend, played by Khan, to get them a prostitute to play with while their wives were out. They never did anything, but one of the wives accidentally saw her, and one of the guys had to lie and say that she was the secret wife of the other guy (which was unfortunate because said guy was engaged to a nice girl). Cue hilarious attempts by the two guys to cover up this lie with yet more lies. At one point, while all three idiots were hanging off a cliff (don't ask), Khan scared a cobra away by singing. Yes, singing.

But the movie was good comic relief, so I guess it was all right.


We had horrific thurnderstorms pass through the area last night. Perfect sleeping weather once it quieted down a bit.

Aside to El: Whats the name of the gas light district in SD? Wait. It's the Gaslite district, isn't it?

*feels dumb*

Kibby, I plugged all of your players and all of Fish's players into my FF analysis tools so that I could generate all of my pie charts, trend charts, and third-order intercept points. I figured out how you managed to beat Fish.

You scored more points than he did.

Right, El?

One more thing for El: WAKE UP!

Sly, your QB lost a fumble, which cost you the game. El, your QB scored negative points, which cost you the win.

But lemme tell ya somethin'. It's good to be king, baby!

Happy early B-Day MiK.

My baby (not any more) girl turned 18 today.

Lab, must have been a math-thingie.

YAY for BigD's baby (not any more) girl!

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