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September 28, 2004


You need this.

(Via Gizmodo, a site every true guy needs to check a LOT)


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A V-6? It goes from zero to sixty in... well, it can't reach sixty.

But it has a hump-room! And anyways with the traffic in Mexico City you can't reach 60 on a racing bike.

lol. I'd love to rent that thing for the prom this year, being a senior. My girlfriend and friends would love it. (As would I being a plane aficionado.)

Come to think of it, with Mexico City traffic, you're basically walking when you take this limo. You get in the back and hump-disco-drink your way to the front, and you're there! Or at least as far as you are getting.

lol. That's funny Christobol. True, but still funny.

With a romantic space in the back to PUKE, after you drink too much Captain Morgans in the bathroom at the prom.

Good times.

where are all the dents?

it must not be in service yet.

"Gizmodo" wbagnfarb

And all the kids can smoke up in the back and then give a whole new meaning to the Mile High club ...

yes, but are there free peanuts?

That's one fly limo.

Does it come complete with a 'drive attendant' who will direct you to the emergency exits if the date goes really badly?

"All women seeking to escape their dates, please exit through the rear or side doors and employ a tuck and roll strategy."

I think I will have to direct many on the men I know to that site. Especially the engineers. I have never seen anyone flip so much for toys before I saw engineers go.

On the note of the planimo (why not?), since I lived in a really small town around Prom time, the thing wouldn't have even made it to the dance. Which, come to think of it, would have been an improvement. Heck, with the size of my old town, we could have held the Prom in the planimo!

I'm confused. What am I supposed to do in the romantic space in the back? I've never ______ ed in my life...

I've scored in my life, but never underscored... although there was that one time.....

I just checked out the Gizmodo site and was confronted with at Star-Trek-like device for administering injections without a needle. This sounds cool until you get to the part where thay talk about the intended application being injecting anesthesia to assist in inserting a catheter which means that they were talking about... injections... in the .......(Passes out, hits floor like bag of marbles)

That's great! Not even Trump has a limo that BIG.


You could buy this guy's life, and put all his stuff in the plimo!

I think I saw one of those going down the Inter-Coastal, but then it wouldn't have wheels would it?

dang me (a common name in asia)

mudstuffin - that would be an absolute God-send for my daughter. You should see the size (length) of the infusion set for her insulin pump. She had to change this every other day. Sites include tummy, top of thigh and bum. Since she can't reach it well enough, I have to do her bum. It kills me to have to poke that darned needle into her.

Even so, the pump is better than 4-5 shots a day. I'm going to be watching for that SonoPrep thing.

Higgy you said- I've scored in my life, but never underscored...


Fortunately; I have no coffee left to spew spew.

Unfortunately; I have no more adult diapers ta change into to.

If I had one of those, I'd name it the Mullet. "Business up front, party in the back" never had a more literal meaning.

*dodges more tomatoes*

All I can say is that driving one of those has to be as thrilling as partying in the back. It has to be invincible on the road. Don't like someone's driving? Can't go around them? Just go right through 'em.

Frickin' awesome.

MOTW: Yes?
God: It's me. God
MOTW: Oh wow.
God: Yeah, so, I just wanted to give you this.
*SonoPrep thingy appears*
MOTW: Uh... thanks.
God: I thought it would help, you know, with the insulin injections... for your daughter.
MOTW: Yeah. Ok.
God: I thought you'd be excited. It's kindof a 'godsend'.
MOTW: Yeah. Right. It's just...
God: Yes?
MOTW: You could just cure her.
God: Everyone's a critic.
*SonoPrep thingy disappears*

I picked up my prom date in a wheelbarrow.

Damn it - that's a lie. I didn't have a date because I have a weight problem. Crap.

Jason Mulgrew
Internet Quasi-Celebrity

Sorry, Christobol, that's not me. I do not bear a grudge against God for diabetes, and neither does my daughter. Frustrated at the circumstances sometimes, yes. But angry toward God, no.
It is thought by many that there will be a cure for diabetes in my daughter's lifetime and that would be great. Over 18 million people in the U.S. have diabetes. If you conservatively estimate $250/month per person for diabetes care, that's about $54 billion a year for the pharmaceuticals. Add in the complications (kidney failure, heart disease, blindness, amputation), and the profit swells even more. I am not sure the pharmaceutical industry would like to lose that kind of money.

"This limo is awesome! I don't care if we ever get to the prom!"
"I know what you mean."
"I mean, it's got a bar, a disco, a jacuzzi, a hump-room... it's even a log-ride!"
"It's got a log-ride?"
"Dude. Where?"
"Right over there!"
"That's the bathroom, dude."

I didn't go to the prom either because I had a geek problem.

No offense meant, MOTW - not meaning to imply you blame God for anything. It struck me as funny (and let us not try to figure out how THAT works) that a injection tool would be a "godsend", since, as my little scenerio was meant to show, if God wanted to intervene maybe just not having the diabetes would a nicer way. Of course, when you complain to God about His ways you usually don't make out too well.

Anyway - all in humor. Probably should have had God say "CAR! Booger!" in there.

As an aside, I'm all for pharmaceutical companies getting stinky rich. What was the last breakthru drug developed by a charity?

do they give out condoms instead of the little plastic wings if you visit the, um, cockpit??

U sux so stop puttin dumb things up here!!

Yeah, I definitely need to work on my short game. No doubt about it my puttin sucks.

They say you Drive for show, but you Putt for dough.

And I for one, will not stop Puttin as long as there's money involved. (Mostly me giving it to my buddies for losing and the 19th hole) ;)

This morning I saw a commercial on TV for an at-home defibrillator! Not a device to have in a house where practical jokers or heavy drinkers live. Although it would be a lot of fun to yell "Clear!" and really zap something.

Alas, those things don't zap unless their sensors determine that the heart has stopped.

*Curses...I just swallowed my Jolly Rancher. And it was cherry, too.*

Which makes me wonder how cool it would be if they came up with a machine that performs the Heimlek Maneuver.

Excuse me..they also zap if the sensors determine the heart is going haywire, as in defribulating.

Peri ... the good news (kind of) is that defribillators don't let you administer a shock unless the heart has stopped beating.

So you'd have to kill your guests first.

Any one else think Heimlich Maneuver wbagnfarb? Nah, I didn't think so either. Although Jolly Rancher and the Defibulators might be.

kid 1: *wearing a half-gallon of Hummer cologne*

kid 2: This plimo thing is pimp, dog. This prom's gonna be Off The Hook! Whut whut!

kid 3: *slaps the sh!+ out of kid 2*

girl 1: Look out!!!

plimo: Screeeech!

girl 2: What the hell was that?

driver: It's those fugitive sliding cows, call the authorities!

kid 2: Who, Burger King?

kid 3: *slaps the sh!+ out of kid 2*

ol' chumbucket: Yohoho and a bottle of rum!

girl 1: Who you callin' a ho?

kid 1: He's got rum!

kid 2: Yo yo yo that eye patch is wack! Hook it up wit da rum!

everybody, including the cows: *beats the sh!+ out of kid 2*

Make that Jolly Rancher and the Defribillators.

Can't spell today.

Quick, somebody give Bangi the master Bates primer...

OK, how about Jolly Rancher and The Devices Used to Treat Heart Rhythm Abnormalities? Loses something in the translation methinks.

Are we still on the loveMoat or have you found a moatown reference?

Man. An airplane that I could finally ride in without feeling like I was going to die. Or, at least, the feeling would be less fleeting than I'm used to.

Is it wrong than I'm 32 years old, nowhere near any sort of prom whatsoever, and I really wanna ride in that thing? Yes? It is wrong? Oh.

Nevermind then.

Speaking of Burger King . . . yes, someone mentioned it up there . . . does any one else find the latest Burger King commercials, where the guy wakes up with a plastic-headed Burger King in bed with him, disturbing?

Elle darling,

Email delivered by my trusty sidekick: Wankle the Wonder Chimp.

Re: Defibrillators - my bro is a Fireman / Paramedic, and one of his pet peeves (he has several pets named peeve, luckily most are of the 'rock' and 'chia' variety) is when shows like ER utilize the defib on a flatline patient. According to my bro, shocking a flatline heart doesn't do anything (for the patient).

Defibs are for correcting improper heart rhythims - especially (I believe) when the heart races out of control. I've heard it described somewhat like a "reboot" for the heart.

But if the heart stops beating entirely, shocking it will not, as I understand it, cause it to begin beating again. That's when you use chest compressions to manually beat the heart.

That's all I got.

Oh wait - if you out with someone on a first date and the look like they might be fixin' to choke and so you perform the heimlich on them and then cut a lamp cord and defib 'em a few times for good measure they almost NEVER want to go out with you again.

Topic Diversion: Complete

*cheers all around*

HAHA, this blog is going to get me into trouble one of these days! If I am not clicking on pics of half naked men I am trying to hold in currents of laughter... or something like that..

Looks like we had AMPle opportunity to change the current topic. I find it most shocking.

What topic?

*sees reflection of the current topic on a shiny object*

Ah, that...

Tina - I did say I was sorry about the burns.

I'll take Poems that use the word "Booger" for $100, Alex.

Is it true that if someone is drowning in the bathtub, and their heart stops, and you throw a plugged-in toaster in there with them, that you will end up with a blown fuse and soggy toast?

"Does it come complete with a 'drive attendant' who will direct you to the emergency exits if the date goes really badly?

"All women seeking to escape their dates, please exit through the rear or side doors and employ a tuck and roll strategy."

Excellent, rhealist, and necessary.

If they had one of these babies back in the day I might have gone to my prom. Well, maybe not, since I didn't have 49 friends. Maybe 4...

One frustrated elle we don't need
A day off she should take, indeed.
The rest of the office,
A model of avarice,
Should just kindly grant a reprieve.

C'bol, nice analogy - emphasis on BOOT! It's like a kick in the chest with big boots *speaks from experience*

That time of year thou mayst now come see
When leaves do turn and birds their last songs sing
'Tis time to come dear friend, look in on me
And we'll discuss what winter next will bring.

In me you'll catch a glimpse of yesteryear
Before my legs did ache and back did bend,
So long as ye bring good supply of beer,
Old man winter we'll keep out 'til the end

Together you and I will tend a fire
Rekindle what we had, before the lie,
That our true love, alive, could not expire
Devouring each, and leaving us to cry.

For tho thy love was fierce as any cougar
You left when on my cheek you found booger.

Someone needs to take the Coke away from Bangi before she hurts herself bouncing off the walls.

MKJ, thanks for the life sale item. Sounds like a guy I know in your neck of the woods (though he's older than this guy). He does have pretty good taste in music, anyway.

Oh, make that "a booger"

OK, somebody unplug Bangi, now!

Go ahead, Tina. But do make the correction. It's bad enough I'm taking liberties with the pronunciation of 'booger' (using the classic French-Indian influence).

Tina, don't encourage her. She's young, she needs her rest. (And watch out for the knife.)

Psst! Ola! Kitty! How's about some of the good 'nip?

*struggles to keep it in*

*fails . . .*

C'bol, I hereby crown you the booger king.

*refuses to duck becuse what is coming is well deserved*

MOTW--As one who has lived with Type 1 diabetes for 30 years, I agree the injection device would be a godsend. Diabetes does tie one down to a regimen, which can tend to seem like a life sentence. Within the limitations of the disease, diabetics should be be encouraged to live confidently, to explore and seek adventure, and to not be afraid. The dilemma in raising a diabetic child--being protective without being overprotective--is a tricky matter. I, for one, wish I had been encouraged to live less timidly.

Also, a diet rich in anti-oxidants helps prevent complications. I drink about two quarts of iced tea a day, and still have both eyes, both legs, and both kidneys.

Christobol--I have been waiting for a breakthrough from the stinky rich drug companies for 30 years. It ain't happening. If Eli Lilly comes up with a cure, I'll eat my glucometer--with ketchup.

ALl I know about defibs is what I learned when I was trained to use one a few years back ... If a victim did not have a pulse, rather than performing chest compressions, we would pull out the handy dandy defibrillator and scream CLEAR and then go out for a martini.

What I do know is that chest compressions don't do didly squat unless you can break open their chest and manually pump the heart. But if you have a defibrillator, the cahnces of survival increase by like 80% ... so you do the math.

Either way, your best bet is to quit eatin' your food deep fried and get your butt on a treadmill.

Either way, your best bet is to quit eatin' your food deep fried . . .

No that there are no more Twinkies, I might HAVE to!

I shall be telling this with a sneeze
On some blog ages and ages hence:
Two boogers diverged in my nose, and I--
I took the one less snottied by,
And that has made all the difference.

The math (I think) says that you might as well go for the martini when the heart stops.

You do usually have to break some ribs to effectively do compressions. Unfortunately, even tho you may be able to get the heart pumping again, whatever problem stopped it in the first place is still there, and the patient usually dies. Unlike the ER show, if you flatline, you're done for it almost every time.

Unless someone happens to be carrying a booger. But who does these days? Sigh.

I blame the big money pharmaceuticals.

I usually stick with ingesting the big money pharmaceuticals. It's my way of supporting the economy.

"Two boogers diverged..."

LOL - bravo Punky

My luck, I'd flatline and the angels of love and martinis would come and guide me into the light and then some yound doc with something to prove would come over and try to shock me back to life ...

There I'd be, dead and happy, trying to sip my martini and fly towards the light at the same time and the shock from the defibrillator would cause me to spill my entire martini onto one of the angel's heads ... so just as I'd swoop down to suck on her hair, a second jolt would send me spiraling back to earth ... and I'd awake flat on my back, naked on a cold ER slab sans martini, I might add, staring at this cute, determined and brilliant whipper-snapper of a doctor. And overwhelmed with emotion at the intense and surreal situation, I would motion for him to bend down .... and I would whisper in his ear, the sweetest words I could muster ...

"You owe me a martini, Doogie"

There once was a Booger from France
Who always had wanted to dance.
After trying too hard,
And slipping on Lard,
It decided to adhere to the pants!

(But not mine!)

Ever seen a dancing booger?

While giving Punky's heart noogies,
Her martini was spilled by Doogie,
He said "I'm sorry to say,
That it happened that way,
And from this angle, I see your boogies."

Hey elle,

How do you do those nifty bolding and italics and stuff. I finally got the hyperlink down, and it's time to move on to the next level of my career.

lol oh elle

Dr. Frankenstein: Now raise the lightning rod into the storm so that my creation can have LIFE!

Igor: I don't think it's gonna work.

Dr. Frankenstein: Really? Why, pray tell?

Igor: Well, it's not like the heart is out of rhythm or anything. It's not beating at all. I just don't see how putting a bunch of volts thru it..."

Dr. Frankenstein: So it's not the fact that I sewed together a bunch of body parts, bolted on a head that I ordered off ebay (thanks mkj) which I had stuffed with a brain from a jar. It's the electrocity that's hanging you up?

Igor: Yep.

I, too, have noticed the math implied in the "elecrify gives life" concept. (I think it is written as dth/E=L but I'm not real strong at math, so don't quote me).

Lightning rods connected to neck bolts can revive corpses long dead. ER staffers (and earlier "Emergency" firemen) regularly pull people back from the long dirt-nap with electricity.

So how exactly does capital punishment work? I'd think the Judge, jury, bailiff and penal staff would all take their turn in the electric chair before allowing a capital offender the privilege of sitting in the chair of eternal life.

(OK, so I just proved fiction is fiction--where's my Pulitzer?)

Thanks djtony, it's a whole new world!

"Who are YOU?"
"We're the penal staff!"
"You just wanted to type 'penal staff' didn't you?"
"Erm.. yep."
"But Deon just said not to quote him!"
"That was about math, we think."
"I dunno"
"Aren't you going to ask us how long we are?"
"Now THAT'S math."
"You're a party pooper trooper."

Can't slip nuthin by C-bol!

You know I did it on purpose. In fact, I had a "Beavis" heh heh, in there but took it out as too obvious.

"But soft, what light on yonder booger glints?"
*climbs down from shrubbery and goes home*

You will bring us ... a Shrubbery!!


We don't need no stinking portable defibrigators. We should be able to get the job done using readily available materials in a creative way. Hasn't anyone ever watched McGyver, or Mr Bean, for that matter???

I'm a little lost here. Was this thread about limos, electricity, or boogers?? Whatever...
I sneezed a booger into the air.
It fell to earth, I knew not where.
But hard and cold were the looks of those,
in whose direction 'twas I snoze!
*ducks and runs*

*clap clap clap*

Excellent, Flash!

The firm where I work occupies 10 floors. We recently received an e-mail that we now have 3 portable defib machines and key people have been trained to use them. The e-mail didn't state who was trained and wasn't totally specific about the locations on the machines...just said what floors. Just now where on each floor. So, apparently when someone has a heart attack, we're first supposed to play a game of combination scavenger hunt/20 questions.

Me, I'm heading to the bar with Punky for a martini.

Secretary: Oh my god, Bob just had a heart attack! Quick, where's the defibrillator? Where's the guy that can use it?

Random office guy: Oh, that's me! Out of the way, everybody... CLEAR! *dzzzzzt*

Secretary: Wait a second, you're not using a defibrillator - that's just a coconut bra tied to a phone cord!

Random office guy: *shrug* Okay, so I just like shouting 'clear'.

Secretary: Fair enough... that your coconut bra?

Random office guy: Yes.

Secretary: Up for a martini?

Would it be any less disturbing to have the Subservient Chicken in bed with the guy?

don't kiss your hunny
when your nose is runny
you may think it's funny
but it's snot

Speaking of...

Subservient Chicken

It's lost ALL of its appeal (wore it out for a week on this blog), but it's still there.

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