ATTENTION, MEN WHO WANT TO SMELL LIKE A LUMBERING STUPID OVERPRICED GAS-GUZZLING VEHICLE
Have we got the product for you.
(Thanks to Linda Landy)
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Have we got the product for you.
(Thanks to Linda Landy)
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FIRST!!
Posted by: Kat | September 27, 2004 at 12:16 PM
Darn - missed.
Posted by: Kokob | September 27, 2004 at 12:17 PM
Darn - missed.
Posted by: Kokob | September 27, 2004 at 12:17 PM
and and let's just hope it's THAT kind of Hummer
Posted by: Kat | September 27, 2004 at 12:17 PM
That's Mister Man Who Wants to Smell Like a Lumbering Stupid Overpriced Gas-Guzzling Vehicle, to you.
Posted by: Lairbo | September 27, 2004 at 12:18 PM
Great - just what those guys need. Do they slap it on then walk out of the house wondering just which will be more irresistable to women...?
Posted by: louise bailey | September 27, 2004 at 12:19 PM
Dave, I'm not sure that's the 'hummer' they're promising...
Posted by: rhealist | September 27, 2004 at 12:20 PM
(Who also may or may not have _____-envy issues.
Posted by: Kokob | September 27, 2004 at 12:20 PM
Hummer drivers are wussies
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | September 27, 2004 at 12:21 PM
At least now, when I get this as the inevitable Christmas present, I can loudly exclaim "THANKS FOR THE HUMMER!!!"
That's the spirit of the season for you - giving....
Posted by: Higgy | September 27, 2004 at 12:28 PM
DVD player, leather upholstery, tilting dump box and rear-view camera.
Hey, baby, wanna see my tilting dump box and rear-view camera?
Ummm, only if you have leather upholstery, too ...
Posted by: MOTW | September 27, 2004 at 12:29 PM
Well, i already smell like a gas-guzzling vehicle - but that probably has a lot to do with my diet.
Now, praise the heavens, i can smell like an overpriced gas guzzling vehicle! That's gotta be a step up, right? Sure, i gotta smell lumbering and stupid to boot, but you gotta take the good with the bad, eh?
Posted by: cuzn ed | September 27, 2004 at 12:36 PM
Smells like balding, middle-aged, viagra-induced spirit.
Posted by: Dr Wu | September 27, 2004 at 12:47 PM
Kokob
I think you mean "Prius Envy". At least I hope that's what you meant.
Posted by: Lairbo | September 27, 2004 at 12:50 PM
Higgy! Oh my Gawd.
(blush)
Are you single?
Exotica
Posted by: Exotica | September 27, 2004 at 12:50 PM
As Bill Maher said about this wonderful new product:
"They say the scent is a masculine combination of leather, sandalwood and a bald man's tiny cock."
Posted by: Miriam | September 27, 2004 at 12:54 PM
I can't wait until guys all over the world just cut the crap and drive around in titanium-plated nuclear-powered 18-wheel multi-speed Hello Kitty vibrators. Armed with laser cannons. And they legalize waving your codpiece around in public so everyone knows what a big truck you have. That would be great!
Posted by: Federal Duck | September 27, 2004 at 12:56 PM
This is actaully for the person in your() life that just doesn't know the words.
Posted by: Brainy Jello | September 27, 2004 at 01:08 PM
Exotica - I'm single for exactly (checks watch) the next 13 days, 4 hours and 20 minutes. After that, I'll be a happily married Higgy....
Posted by: Higgy | September 27, 2004 at 01:10 PM
I dunno but I think Happily Married Higgy WBAGNFARB.
Just Sayin....
*Gets sucked back into the work wormhole*
Ahhhhh!!
Posted by: Mr.Fisher | September 27, 2004 at 01:14 PM
This is a joke, right? RIGHT?
I wonder where I can get the female version of Toyota, RAV4 (without the 4 wheel drive)...
Posted by: Flukey | September 27, 2004 at 01:17 PM
new car smell for people - very creative. I'm surprised that Hyundai hasn't come out with this idea, maybe there just isn't the same demand for the scent of velour seats & plastic dashboard.
Will wearers of Hummer now require 2 seats instead of one?
Posted by: iolite | September 27, 2004 at 01:28 PM
IT'S NOT A LUMBERING STUPID OVERPRICED GAS-GUZZLING VEHICLE!
Posted by: Aahhhnold | September 27, 2004 at 01:37 PM
Makers of car-related cologne products are missing the, er, boat, by not creating personal fragrance necklaces that look — and smell like car air fresheners. Mmmmm, pine.
BTW: Why isn't there an "Old Car Smell" fragrance? Just asking.
Posted by: Lairbo | September 27, 2004 at 01:42 PM
I'll wait for the diesel version. More pheromones. Uh-huh.
Posted by: D'Artagnan | September 27, 2004 at 01:43 PM
because old car smell is individual.. for some it's the dirty clothes and old shoes aroma that get them up and revved.. for others it's the decaying baby formula and mouldy cheeseburger smell that says "aahhh.. I've found the right vehicle for me"
Posted by: Kat | September 27, 2004 at 02:05 PM
In defense of the Hummer (vehicle). I don't know about the wussy civilian version (as I am now an underpaid teacher and they are way out of my price range); but the military version is REALLY fun to drive, and even more fun if you get to stand in the gun turret and fire the grenade launcher! (Retired Air Force Capt)
Posted by: Flash | September 27, 2004 at 02:42 PM
Flash, I'm waiting until the civilian version comes with the grenade launcher myself.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | September 27, 2004 at 02:56 PM
Why do the female bloglets get to look at male models, and the males get instructions on how TO SMELL LIKE A LUMBERING STUPID OVERPRICED GAS-GUZZLING VEHICLE?
Come on, Dave; let's see some skin (not yours, please)!
Posted by: etc. | September 27, 2004 at 02:58 PM
Nice visual Flash.
Experience with a grenade launcher help in classroom management? Just thinkin it might.
Posted by: Deontologist | September 27, 2004 at 03:05 PM
djtb: Thanks, you too.
Posted by: D'Artagnan | September 27, 2004 at 03:07 PM
I heard that the folks at Subaru thought this was a great idea and are now test marketing a new scent for women ... they're stuck on a name ... apparently "eau de cunnilingus" left a bad taste in the board's mouth.
Posted by: punky brewster | September 27, 2004 at 03:36 PM
Check please!!
Posted by: slyeyes | September 27, 2004 at 04:33 PM
Nyuk nyuk, P
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | September 27, 2004 at 04:50 PM
Punky: It sounds to me like they need to hire a cunning linguist to come up with a new name. Preferably a master of many tongues, not just French.
Posted by: Jeff P. | September 27, 2004 at 04:54 PM
the grenade launcher version is available in Miami.
Posted by: Tiko | September 27, 2004 at 05:50 PM
Hopefully not a master deabter either.
Posted by: Lny | September 27, 2004 at 06:36 PM
Prolly cheaper than the last Hummer I bought (and not the GM variety either).
Posted by: Chaz Stevens | September 27, 2004 at 07:28 PM
Deon,
The grenade launcher is a bit bulky for classroom work, but I find that the occasional burst from an M-16 or an AK-47 helps keep the chatter to a minimum. Remember, deterrence is the key.
Posted by: Flash | September 27, 2004 at 08:48 PM
Heck, if I want to smell like a lumbering overpriced gas-guzzling vehicle, I just need to ride in my 1986 Ford F-150 for a bit.
Note: the lack of the word "stupid" is not an oversight. While Bruno may be lumbering and I might have paid too much for that beast, he ain't no stupid vehicle, that's for sure.
And yes, I named my truck Bruno. If you saw him, you'd understand that he's no wussy truck. This is definitely a man's truck. He needs a manly name.
Posted by: SchadeBoy | September 27, 2004 at 09:03 PM
Flash,
I teach part-time at the local community college, here. Half my students are older than me. Trust me, a grenade launcher would be a useful tool in my classrooms.
Posted by: SchadeBoy | September 27, 2004 at 09:04 PM
LOL. sort of an advert for the under-endowed, i think.
Posted by: queensbee | September 28, 2004 at 02:21 AM
A lot of people would've died to get in this car
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | September 28, 2004 at 03:00 AM
I've got something vary similar to this. My car smells like a lumbering, stupid, bourbon-guzzling man.
(Did I say that out loud?)
Posted by: mudstuffin | September 28, 2004 at 04:02 AM
(be sure to read the email questions on previous car posting, some are pretty funny)
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | September 28, 2004 at 04:24 AM
I prefer to drive the lumbering, stupid, overpriced, gas-guzzling vehicle, BUT with a bumper sticker that says "Meat is murder!" and to smell (and look) like a pretty, pretty princess.
Throws people off.
Posted by: Christobol | September 28, 2004 at 04:44 AM
Effective bumper sticker:
Save money: bribe the cop, not the judge.
Posted by: Federal Duck | September 28, 2004 at 06:09 AM
I hear they're working on color-system sucker-dart launchers ...
Posted by: MOTW | September 28, 2004 at 06:57 AM
You know what... as stupid as it may be.. if they ever came out with "Corvette, the sent of speed and fumes" I would buy it. But Hummer... naa
You know if I would of had a small tommy gun when I was doing day care work it would of made my life MUCH easier! Smaller people require smaller guns. Don't want to take one shot and lose them all! I'd be out of a job!
Posted by: MzVette | September 28, 2004 at 07:16 AM
Here in the U.S., putting an ink blot in the wrong spot of a piece of paper once every two years or so gets you into fights. Can you imagine what would happen if we all had grenade launchers?
Posted by: Alex D. | September 28, 2004 at 09:24 AM
Ah yes the genitalia challenged!
My wimpy little car key can scratch the crap out of your big tough strong Hummer (SUV/Pick-Up truck) any time!
Especially when you park that piece of crap next to me and I can't get in my car!
Posted by: Zed | September 28, 2004 at 11:16 AM
If I were creating a scent for Hummer, it would smell like money, and there would be two scents, NEW MONEY, and OLD MONEY........
Posted by: Denise | September 28, 2004 at 11:56 AM
Zed,
Just a word of warning, make sure the owner of that Hummer/SUV/pick-up doesn't see you, or you might be looking down the barrel of a grenade launcher. I thought one of my lieutenants was going to take his M-16 down and shoot up the entire town of Newbury (Berkshire,UK) after one of the locals keyed his new BMW. On the other hand, you can key my old Nissan pickup all you want, and it wouldn't be noticable along with all the other scratches and dents. (We actually drive our 4-wheel drives off the road here in Utah/Idaho)
Posted by: Flash | September 28, 2004 at 01:30 PM
Off course, flash, that assumes that you weren't DRIVEN off the road by the other drivers - it's dangerous in Utah.
Posted by: Kokob | September 29, 2004 at 10:18 AM
Flash-
"Utah/Idaho" = Udaho?
Posted by: bbxl | September 29, 2004 at 10:23 AM
Koko,
The only thing scarier than the drivers in Utah are the hunters. That's why I no longer hunt (at least not in Utah)
BB,
Udaho, I love it! I live in Cache Valley, not far from the Idaho border; so I used to be from Idaho, but now I'm from Udaho. Perfect
Posted by: Flash | September 29, 2004 at 08:23 PM
I thought about buying this for the man in my life, but doubt I could park it in our medicine cabinet.
Posted by: Katherine | September 30, 2004 at 02:16 AM
Idaho? No, Udaho! How much for the Hummer?
Sorry, couldn't resist. No disrespect meant to western Americans (especially the ones with grenade launchers).
Posted by: speedyspark | October 05, 2004 at 10:19 AM