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September 29, 2004

ATTENTION, HEARTLAND RESIDENTS

Time to buy ear plugs.

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Road trip to see Martha in prison, eh?

I wonder how exclusive that place is? Is it by invitation only?

"We're here to see Martha!"
"Are you family?"
"Oh yes. But not hers. Or eachother's, for that matter."
"Purpose of your visit?"
"Erm... to mock?"
"Ok - there's a line right over there."
"THAT's the line? That goes all the way to Miami!"
"Perhaps you'd like to poke an Enron VP with a stick? They're not getting so many visitors these days."
"I dunno, doesn't seem the same. Can you make him wear a dress and craft a Thanksgiving table setting while we poke him?"
"Sure."

Sarah:

Isn't that why you brew beer in Milwaukee? For the entertainment it provides?

Enter the Moat

First I think you have to defeat Han.

What are you talkin' 'bout, Bangi?

Mil*wa*u*kee - 4 syllables (5 when you say it while driving the porceline bus home)

Did you know that if you drink ALL the beers brewed in Milwaukee and then say Milwaukee three times while looking in the mirror in the bathroom with the lights out then you throw up in the dark?

I gotta stop reading this during lunch. My keyboard is littered with half chewed food after Cbol's last post (makes it hard to type)
Christobol, you da man!

Milwaukee is Native American for 'Help me, I'm choking on a brat'.

And what's the Moat?

Actually his last post was funny, but the Enron VP one was hilarious.

I was taught recently by a Milwaukee native that the correct pronunciation was "Mwau-kee" - two syllables.

Myself, I pronounce it 'Meow'.

Doesn't seem to register with anyone, but strays in the vicinity tend to show interest.

Cbol - maybe we could go to Michael Milkin's cell, shave his...
What?
He's out? And back on the Fortune 500 list of richest people?

Never mind.

Miriam - was this native a "friend". Cuz, you know, they could just be messing with you, since apparently they get bored a lot.

*At some party in Milwaukee*

"So anyways, I convinced this one gal that it is pronounced "Mwau-kee" this week."

"That's great! I had a guy saying it with five syllables in my darkened bathroom the other day! It was pretty funny until I had to clean up."

"Big deal. I convinced someone it's pronounced Po*ta*to. That's when you've hit the big time."

I thought Milwaukee was pronounced "brewery"?

Shows what I know.

Silly Christobol,

Milwaukee is pronounced, "WD-40."

I vote Christobol Brazilian waxes Martha. And her eyebrows.

I think my brain just exploded.


*gets duct tape*

Eww, Jeff. That would be really unenjoyable for c-bol ... though I'm sure Martha's prison mates would appreciate it when it came time for the shower gang bang :(

*scrubs brain with wire brush to get rid of mental image*

Sarah...

Dude, Dave was in Milwaukee last weekend for his book signing. Where abouts are you? I'm in Kenosha. If there're enough of us around these parts, perhaps a lunch might be in order.

Dave, why cant you bring the rocking to Phallusland (Florida)?

So, Tallahassee is Floridian for 'testicles' ? OK, technically Apalachicola is the Testicles of Florida.

Or was that Pensacola because calling the city Penis Cola would be way too rude ?

So does that mean that Fort Lauderdale is the foreskin of Florida ? I like that - 'The Fort Lauderdale Foreskins pounded the Coral Springs Culottes 69-0 yesterday in hot Phallus League Action'.

And yes Hot Phallus League Action wbawanfarb (would be a wicked awesome name for a rock band). Wicked means, like, you know, like really good. 'Wicked Awesome' means like so totally wicked awesome that nothing is better, except maybe totally wicked awesome. It's like, sick, man.

Hope no-one was sketched-out.

Yes. one was.

Fort Lauderdale Foreskins WBAGNFARB

>"What the hell are you doing?"
>"Spraying WD-40 on my eyebrows."
>"Why?"
>"Duh. So they won't squeak."
>"But your eyebrows don't squeak."
>"Exactly."

I'm still choking over this one. C-bol, even if you're too well put together and your kids are too well-behaved, I hope to see you at the RBR show... any other Chicago people going? Should we set up a pre-show meet?

Sorry I don't have anything funny to say. I'm watching and blogging the debate, and can't get past the fact that Shrub always looks like he took his tenth hit off the Yalie Bong and is snorting back giggle fits.

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